China Studies Wiki - User contributions [en]

Talk:Buddhism

2012-03-05T05:23:29Z

Buzhidao:

=Format=
You may want to break up your paper into categories and separate them by lines. Then, add a 'content' box towards the beginning of your document thus allowing readers to more easily navigate your page. [[Jimmerica]] 02:22, 3 March 2012 (UTC)

=Photos=
It would be nice if you could add photos. They would make your article more interesting and easier to understand. However, make sure you avoid violating any copyright issues. [[User:Jimmerica|Jimmerica]] 02:24, 3 March 2012 (UTC)

= Content =
So far, this is just a description of how Buddhism came to be. Where is your argument? Also, you might want to consider the way you write some of the lists. For example, under the heading "Four Noble Truths" you have a whole lot more than 4 things listed. The Four Noble Truths are usually listed as:
* 1- Life is suffering.
* 2- Suffering is caused by attachments.
* 3- Suffering can be overcome.
* 4- Suffering can be overcome by following the Eight-fold path.
(Or some closely written variation of this.)

If you want to add a little explanation about one of the items, remove the asterisk in front of your comment. That way, it doesn't look like the comment is one of the "Truths".

Don't forget the citations and references!

Also, make sure you proof read the final article. Try reading it out loud, it's a good way to catch the mistakes that need correcting before the Teacher does! [[User:Dekeo|Dekeo]] 09:47, 4 March 2012 (UTC)

You need a thesis, maybe you could make the statement that Buddhism is a great religion, or maybe that it is a confusing religion, but a great philosophy. What ever you choose, just make sure that the rest of your paper backs it up. [[User:Linksys|Linksys]] 18:06, 4 March 2012 (UTC)

Some of your sentences are very fragmented. In order to create a better flow in your paper,elaborate on these fragments. [[User:Linksys|Linksys]] 05:04, 5 March 2012 (UTC)

== Better organization ==
You got a lot of great information which I also found very informative, however the use of pictures would have helped get a better idea of your exploitation. Also restructuring you paragraphs would give for a better presentation.

Talk:Kung Fu

2012-03-05T05:19:54Z

Buzhidao:

=Copyright issues of film clips=
I will be adding citations soon, also, if anyone sees this, can I put that Avatar clip on here, or would there be copyright issues? [[User:Hannah A|Hannah A]] 02:22, 1 March 2012 (UTC)
=Description vs. Arguments/original thoughts=
This is a very good description of Kungfu, however it would be great to have some more argumentation in it, see the handout. [[Special:Contributions/161.28.159.52|161.28.159.52]] 22:18, 2 March 2012 (UTC)
:Who wrote this? [[Special:Contributions/161.28.159.52|161.28.159.52]] 22:19, 2 March 2012 (UTC)
Perhaps an opening paragraph before the 'contents' box would give you a chance to introduce your topic and establish a thesis? [[Jimmerica]] 02:31, 3 March 2012 (UTC)
:I introduced myself, and stated my experience. I put my thesis in there, and I incorporated it into the different systems/styles and Shaolin animals sections, I hope its clear enough. [[User:Hannah A|Hannah A]] 19:19, 4 March 2012 (UTC)

Have a thesis to create a better argumentive paper.[[User:Linksys|Linksys]] 18:08, 4 March 2012 (UTC)

=References=
*You need to list your references. [[Jimmerica|Jimmerica]] 02:29, 3 March 2012 (UTC)
* And don't forget your citations in the body of your paper. [[User:Dekeo|Dekeo]] 09:29, 4 March 2012 (UTC)
:Done! :) [[User:Hannah A|Hannah A]] 03:55, 5 March 2012 (UTC)

= Proof Read! =
Little things, like china instead of China (should always be capitalized), punctuation and the flow of your sentences. Some of them are written rather awkwardly. Try reading your paper out loud. Sometimes that helps you find the awkward spots. (Check out the paragraph just before the section on two systems- the one about philosophy) [[User:Dekeo|Dekeo]] 09:29, 4 March 2012 (UTC)
: Thank you! I fixed the China capitalization, and I am currently working on making my sentences less awkward. [[User:Hannah A|Hannah A]] 18:17, 4 March 2012 (UTC)

== Picture book? ==
The information is great and very descriptive. I like the detail you used, however I feel that you used a heavy amount of pictures. I feel that you could have gotten your point across with less pictures, perhaps more descriptive words.

Talk:Qin Shihuangdi

2012-03-05T05:14:56Z

Buzhidao: /* Wiki formate? */

= Scope =
I know, it's just a start. More pictures, words and citations will be added.[[User:Licia K|Licia K]] 05:33, 6 February 2012 (UTC)
:This is not even a start, it is just a stub. Can anybody help Licia with it? [[Special:Contributions/161.28.159.52|161.28.159.52]] 22:37, 24 February 2012 (UTC)
::Who is IP 161.28.159.52? Please login with your user name first! [[Special:Contributions/161.28.159.52|161.28.159.52]] 22:38, 24 February 2012 (UTC)

=Content=
Where is all that great information from your presentation? I feel that becoming a ruler at such a young age and accomplishing so much in such short time, a timeline of some sort would be very useful in putting Qin Shihuangdi's life in perpective. [[Jimmerica|Jimmerica]] 02:33, 3 March 2012 (UTC)
: I'm working on it- slowly, but I will get back to this article. Good idea about a time line- we'll have to see how it works out. [[User:Licia K|Licia K]] 09:12, 4 March 2012 (UTC)

Also, you should look into uploading the powerpoint, Then you could use different pictures in the article. And, don't forget to proof read the final article. But, definitely, finish writing this. You started almost a month ago and should be further along than you are- especially since the paper is due in less than 24 hours! [[User:Dekeo|Dekeo]] 09:53, 4 March 2012 (UTC)

If you put it in the perspective of Qin, you still need to address the faults of the Emperor, such as killing of philosophers, and the book burnings. [[User:Linksys|Linksys]] 17:48, 4 March 2012 (UTC)

The dates when Qin unified China are informative, but they do need to be tied into the rest of the page. Put it in a sentence or paragraph about his conquerings, this will help it make sense. [[User:Linksys|Linksys]] 05:09, 5 March 2012 (UTC)

= Credits =
*You have quoted from one of my books. Why don't you mention the sources? [[Special:Contributions/161.28.159.52|161.28.159.52]] 22:38, 24 February 2012 (UTC)
* Cite! Cite! Cite! [[User:Dekeo|Dekeo]] 09:53, 4 March 2012 (UTC)
After you get more content, you should add your references using MLA format. [[Jimmerica|Jimmerica]] 02:33, 3 March 2012 (UTC)
: Yup. It's in the works. I'm looking for better sources for the pictures (you know, free of copy-write issues.) [[User:Licia K|Licia K]] 09:12, 4 March 2012 (UTC)

== Wiki format? ==
I though that the information you had was good, but the format you used had no organized structure. The use of actual paragraphs would have been good and pictures to help get a better idea of what you are describing.

Talk:Qin Shihuangdi

2012-03-05T05:14:36Z

Buzhidao:

= Scope =
I know, it's just a start. More pictures, words and citations will be added.[[User:Licia K|Licia K]] 05:33, 6 February 2012 (UTC)
:This is not even a start, it is just a stub. Can anybody help Licia with it? [[Special:Contributions/161.28.159.52|161.28.159.52]] 22:37, 24 February 2012 (UTC)
::Who is IP 161.28.159.52? Please login with your user name first! [[Special:Contributions/161.28.159.52|161.28.159.52]] 22:38, 24 February 2012 (UTC)

=Content=
Where is all that great information from your presentation? I feel that becoming a ruler at such a young age and accomplishing so much in such short time, a timeline of some sort would be very useful in putting Qin Shihuangdi's life in perpective. [[Jimmerica|Jimmerica]] 02:33, 3 March 2012 (UTC)
: I'm working on it- slowly, but I will get back to this article. Good idea about a time line- we'll have to see how it works out. [[User:Licia K|Licia K]] 09:12, 4 March 2012 (UTC)

Also, you should look into uploading the powerpoint, Then you could use different pictures in the article. And, don't forget to proof read the final article. But, definitely, finish writing this. You started almost a month ago and should be further along than you are- especially since the paper is due in less than 24 hours! [[User:Dekeo|Dekeo]] 09:53, 4 March 2012 (UTC)

If you put it in the perspective of Qin, you still need to address the faults of the Emperor, such as killing of philosophers, and the book burnings. [[User:Linksys|Linksys]] 17:48, 4 March 2012 (UTC)

The dates when Qin unified China are informative, but they do need to be tied into the rest of the page. Put it in a sentence or paragraph about his conquerings, this will help it make sense. [[User:Linksys|Linksys]] 05:09, 5 March 2012 (UTC)

= Credits =
*You have quoted from one of my books. Why don't you mention the sources? [[Special:Contributions/161.28.159.52|161.28.159.52]] 22:38, 24 February 2012 (UTC)
* Cite! Cite! Cite! [[User:Dekeo|Dekeo]] 09:53, 4 March 2012 (UTC)
After you get more content, you should add your references using MLA format. [[Jimmerica|Jimmerica]] 02:33, 3 March 2012 (UTC)
: Yup. It's in the works. I'm looking for better sources for the pictures (you know, free of copy-write issues.) [[User:Licia K|Licia K]] 09:12, 4 March 2012 (UTC)

== Wiki formate? ==
I though that the information you had was good, but the format you used had no organized structure. The use of actual paragraphs would have been good and pictures to help get a better idea of what you are describing.