China Studies Wiki - User contributions [en]

Talk:Xi Jinping

2011-12-08T05:16:58Z

Santa Clause:

This is supposed to be a first-person narrative, so I think that you should really change it to first-person . It should only take a couple minutes to change all of the "he"s to "I"s and I think you'll get a better grade. [[User:Dei|Dei]] 02:59, 17 October 2011 (UTC)

Good Job! It may need a little more substance and content to take up the 20 min needed to present to the class. [[User:C lindsay|C lindsay]] 04:26, 17 October 2011 (UTC) 22:26, 16 October 2011

I agree, please change it to first-person narrative and elaborate on it further. It would also be good to have more works cited and made more references to the cited works in the text. [[User:Root|Root]] 13:50, 20 October 2011 (UTC)

The others are right about the material, but, you need to clean it up mechanics-wise. (The writing mechanics that is). For example, ''China'' should always be capitalized. Check the breaks in your sentences- maybe the editing page thinks you hit enter(too many of your sentences are divided in weird places).

This sounds like a great person to do in first person! He has a lot to be proud of and here is a great chance to present his ideas as if they were your own. This could be a lot of fun! I look forward to your presentation in class.[[User:Dekeo|Dekeo]] 21:31, 21 October 2011 (UTC)

Interesting. He seems like a cool person to know about. I would try and find a little more information of him in general. Elaborate on how he achieved a 14% growth rate, that is interesting. Don't forget your in-texts...I'm pretty sure we're supposed to do in-texts.. Good work! [[User:Santa Clause|Santa Clause]] 05:16, 8 December 2011 (UTC)

Talk:Sun Yat-sen

2011-12-08T05:04:52Z

Santa Clause:

You should really change it to a first-person narrative. It should only take a couple minutes to change all of the "he"s to "I"s and I think you'll get a better grade. [[User:Dei|Dei]] 02:56, 17 October 2011 (UTC)

It looks like you tried to take the advice given above, but didn't quite get it all worked out. Your info is good, but the mechanics, the writing, could use a little work. For example:

- You use a lot of passive sentences- ''"I would become..."'' Active sentences like "'''I became.."''' are much stronger. They will also help you keep a consistent "voice". Sometimes you sound like you are talking about yourself and sometimes it sounds like you are someone else making a report about Sun Yat-sen.

- Paragraphs- they should only be about one idea. You have several paragraphs that should be divided into two or three paragraphs.

- Punctuation- you could re-read the article and check the punctuation. You leave out some commas and miss an occasional capitalization at the start of a sentence. (Just some of the little things that will help to clean up your article and make it more readable :))

- I like the pictures- but where did they come from? You need to be sure to put citations on the pictures.[[User:Dekeo|Dekeo]] 20:14, 21 October 2011 (UTC)

I like the big picture, he has kind eyes. I think it is good for people to move across cultures at a young age. This historical figure is my favorite so far. I would just say, proof read it. For the most part its pretty good though. Put in-text citations and citations period. [[User:Santa Clause|Santa Clause]] 05:04, 8 December 2011 (UTC)

Talk:Kang Youwei

2011-12-08T04:40:29Z

Santa Clause:

Does anyone know how to format this? I can't seem to figure it out.

Put a space between each paragraph but DON'T indent the paragraph. If you do that, it will look good.:) I will make some paragraphs in your paper to show you how its done, ok? [[User:Dei|Dei]] 18:24, 16 October 2011 (UTC)

If you can't find out how to put pictures in, just post the url on this page and I will upload them before midnight to your report.:) [[User:Dei|Dei]] 18:39, 16 October 2011 (UTC)

Great job on the paper and remembering to put it into first person. I am sure if you added a couple of pictures it would help you get a better grade. [[User:C lindsay|C lindsay]] 04:28, 17 October 2011 (UTC) 22:28, 16 October 2011

Nice little rant about the unfairness of Cixi- I'm pretty sure He did feel that way. In a further revision, you might want to spend a little less time explaining your philosophies. With a quick summary to whet our appetites, we can then go look up your writings for further info. As mentioned by others, some pictures would help- I don't know what you looked like! [[User:Dekeo|Dekeo]] 19:15, 21 October 2011 (UTC)

Awesome work! I would proof read your paper just to get some little glitches (repeated words, "is" instead of "it", that kind of a thing). I found about five or six. Overall I think your paper is good to go. ...Oh, and don't forget to cite and do intext citations. [[User:Santa Clause|Santa Clause]] 04:40, 8 December 2011 (UTC)

Talk:Cixi

2011-12-08T04:19:49Z

Santa Clause:

Hey, what's that? That is just a stub. Why don't you write more? [[User:Root|Root]] 18:15, 26 September 2011 (UTC)

page 219 of The Search for Modern China, second paragraph, last sentence "In 1879 the Japanese annexed the Ryukyus, and Korea might well have suffered a similar fate if..." Japan didn't annex Korea until 1910-

Hey! I figured out how to insert pictures. Here's how I did it. (maybe you can find a faster way- but this worked!). First, you need to upload your files. Keep track of the names! you will need them. Then open your article for editing and select the middle icon (number 6 box of the boxes at the top of the edit page). Wiki then creates an "embedded file" entry. You just need to replace the highlighted section (Example.jpg) with the name your picture was uploaded under (and saved).
When you go to the bottom of the page and select "Show preview" your pictures will show up where you put them. Make sure it all looks good, select "Save page" and you are good to go! [[User:Dekeo|Dekeo]] 18:51, 7 October 2011 (UTC)

You write beautifully, I am so jealous. It was great! I found two minor errors where you typed a word twice and typed an extra letter. Sixth line from the bottom on the second paragraph "in in his affairs" and the second sentence in the fifth paragraph at the end of the sentence "... and accusation." These are just minor nit picky things. Overall, I really enjoyed reading your paper and it was super interesting. That lady was so unsatisfied with everything she had, she was pretty intense-a fun character to read about but probably not to be around. [[User:Santa Clause|Santa Clause]] 04:19, 8 December 2011 (UTC)

Talk:Qianlong

2011-12-08T03:50:09Z

Santa Clause:

Hooray!! I figured it out- how to insert pictures into the wiki article - Qianlong

No citations yet? [[User:Dekeo|Dekeo]] 19:47, 14 October 2011 (UTC)

I would like to hear a bit more about your private life. Was there anyone you were great friends with? Did you have a favorite consort? What did you like to do in your free time? I would like to see the deeper side of Qianlong's character. Maybe you can find a really emotional quote from when Qianlong was particularly angry, happy or sad. [[User:Dei|Dei]] 05:01, 15 October 2011 (UTC)

The pictures really add character to the presentation, and you did a great job presenting Qianlong to the class. Maybe just add a little more information on your written presentation. [[User:C lindsay|C lindsay]] 04:18, 17 October 2011 (UTC) 22:17, 16 October 2011

I'm not sure how this works yet... This is just a test. [[User:Santa Clause|Santa Clause]] 03:50, 8 December 2011 (UTC)

It's great! I like all the pictures, it makes it easier to imagine how you were in real life. If you are looking to add more material to your paper I would add more about his "rise to power" (your youth etc.). Also, the paragraphs could transition a little more smoothly and be more defined as a whole. Good job and good luck!! [[User:Santa Clause|Santa Clause]] 03:50, 8 December 2011 (UTC)

Talk:Qianlong

2011-12-08T03:49:12Z

Santa Clause:

Hooray!! I figured it out- how to insert pictures into the wiki article - Qianlong

No citations yet? [[User:Dekeo|Dekeo]] 19:47, 14 October 2011 (UTC)

I would like to hear a bit more about your private life. Was there anyone you were great friends with? Did you have a favorite consort? What did you like to do in your free time? I would like to see the deeper side of Qianlong's character. Maybe you can find a really emotional quote from when Qianlong was particularly angry, happy or sad. [[User:Dei|Dei]] 05:01, 15 October 2011 (UTC)

The pictures really add character to the presentation, and you did a great job presenting Qianlong to the class. Maybe just add a little more information on your written presentation. [[User:C lindsay|C lindsay]] 04:18, 17 October 2011 (UTC) 22:17, 16 October 2011

I'm not sure how this works yet... This is just a test. [[User:Santa Clause|Santa Clause]]

It's great! I like all the pictures, it makes it easier to imagine how you were in real life. If you are looking to add more material to your paper I would add more about his "rise to power" (your youth etc.). Also, the paragraphs could transition a little more smoothly and be more defined as a whole. Good job and good luck!!

Talk:Qianlong

2011-12-08T03:45:53Z

Santa Clause:

Talk:Qianlong

2011-12-08T03:44:56Z

Santa Clause: