Talk:Liang Qichao - Revision history

Dekeo at 19:48, 21 October 2011

2011-10-21T19:48:40Z

Dekeo at 19:46, 21 October 2011

2011-10-21T19:46:29Z

Dei at 05:33, 15 October 2011

2011-10-15T05:33:48Z

Dei at 05:32, 15 October 2011

2011-10-15T05:32:49Z

Dei at 05:30, 15 October 2011

2011-10-15T05:30:13Z

Root: Created page with ' == I like this guy == Why don't you write something about his great achievement in literature? ~~~~'

2011-10-10T18:38:52Z

Created page with ' == I like this guy == Why don't you write something about his great achievement in literature? ~~~~'

New page

== I like this guy ==
Why don't you write something about his great achievement in literature? [[User:Root|Root]] 18:38, 10 October 2011 (UTC)

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 You have some good info, but the mechanics of your writing are distracting. Here are some other suggestions to improve you paper:
 -I suggest you re-read the article and check the spelling ("travelling" for example only has 1 "L").
 -Try to avoid passive sentences- use active verbs- '''I wrote..., I argued..., I did...''' instead of ''I have written..., I have argued..., I have done''...
 -Keep an eye on your use of tense also- don't switch from past tense to present tense in the same sentence.
 -It is OK to break up your sentences into smaller parts.  This will help you avoid "run on" sentences.  (Kang and I advocated reform.(period)Then continue the sentence)
 -Make sure you complete your thoughts.  You included this sentence in your article- "However, American's have their own as well." - their own what?)
 -and check for confusing sentences like this one from your article "My critics say I was I feel..." which was it? "I was" or "I feel"?
 Proofreading- not the worlds funnest activity, but it really helps your writing. :)[[User:Dekeo|Dekeo]] 19:46, 21 October 2011 (UTC)

← Older revision		Revision as of 19:46, 21 October 2011
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	This site [http://www.mutantpalm.org/2008/01/20/liang-qichao-strife-of-human-races.html] has some interesting quotes on Liang's opinion on race which are very informative. [[User:Dei\|Dei]] 05:32, 15 October 2011 (UTC)		This site [http://www.mutantpalm.org/2008/01/20/liang-qichao-strife-of-human-races.html] has some interesting quotes on Liang's opinion on race which are very informative. [[User:Dei\|Dei]] 05:32, 15 October 2011 (UTC)
		+
		+	You have some good info, but the mechanics of your writing are distracting. Here are some other suggestions to improve you paper:
		+	-I suggest you re-read the article and check the spelling ("travelling" for example only has 1 "L").
		+	-Try to avoid passive sentences- use active verbs- '''I wrote..., I argued..., I did...''' instead of ''I have written..., I have argued..., I have done''...
		+	-Keep an eye on your use of tense also- don't switch from past tense to present tense in the same sentence.
		+	-It is OK to break up your sentences into smaller parts. This will help you avoid "run on" sentences. (Kang and I advocated reform.(period)Then continue the sentence)
		+	-Make sure you complete your thoughts. You included this sentence in your article- "However, American's have their own as well." - their own what?)
		+	-and check for confusing sentences like this one from your article "My critics say I was I feel..." which was it? "I was" or "I feel"?
		+	Proofreading- not the worlds funnest activity, but it really helps your writing. :)[[User:Dekeo\|Dekeo]] 19:46, 21 October 2011 (UTC)

← Older revision		Revision as of 05:33, 15 October 2011
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	I would like you to write more about Liang Qichao's emotions, using quotes if you can find them. Liang was a very passionate man. How do you think he felt when he failed his Jinshi examination? Tell about his admiration of Kang Youwei. There were many times in which he must have been very disappointed in the path China was taking, please write passionately about his despair. Was he optimistic or pessimistic about China's future? Adding just a few sentences using emotionally charged words will help bring this paper to life.:) [[User:Dei\|Dei]] 05:30, 15 October 2011 (UTC)		I would like you to write more about Liang Qichao's emotions, using quotes if you can find them. Liang was a very passionate man. How do you think he felt when he failed his Jinshi examination? Tell about his admiration of Kang Youwei. There were many times in which he must have been very disappointed in the path China was taking, please write passionately about his despair. Was he optimistic or pessimistic about China's future? Adding just a few sentences using emotionally charged words will help bring this paper to life.:) [[User:Dei\|Dei]] 05:30, 15 October 2011 (UTC)

−	This site [http://www.mutantpalm.org/2008/01/20/liang-qichao-strife-of-human-races.html] has some interesting quotes on Liang's opinion on race which are very ~~interesting~~. [[User:Dei\|Dei]] 05:32, 15 October 2011 (UTC)	+	This site [http://www.mutantpalm.org/2008/01/20/liang-qichao-strife-of-human-races.html] has some interesting quotes on Liang's opinion on race which are very informative. [[User:Dei\|Dei]] 05:32, 15 October 2011 (UTC)

← Older revision		Revision as of 05:32, 15 October 2011
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	I would like you to write more about Liang Qichao's emotions, using quotes if you can find them. Liang was a very passionate man. How do you think he felt when he failed his Jinshi examination? Tell about his admiration of Kang Youwei. There were many times in which he must have been very disappointed in the path China was taking, please write passionately about his despair. Was he optimistic or pessimistic about China's future? Adding just a few sentences using emotionally charged words will help bring this paper to life.:) [[User:Dei\|Dei]] 05:30, 15 October 2011 (UTC)		I would like you to write more about Liang Qichao's emotions, using quotes if you can find them. Liang was a very passionate man. How do you think he felt when he failed his Jinshi examination? Tell about his admiration of Kang Youwei. There were many times in which he must have been very disappointed in the path China was taking, please write passionately about his despair. Was he optimistic or pessimistic about China's future? Adding just a few sentences using emotionally charged words will help bring this paper to life.:) [[User:Dei\|Dei]] 05:30, 15 October 2011 (UTC)
		+
		+	This site [http://www.mutantpalm.org/2008/01/20/liang-qichao-strife-of-human-races.html] has some interesting quotes on Liang's opinion on race which are very interesting. [[User:Dei\|Dei]] 05:32, 15 October 2011 (UTC)

← Older revision		Revision as of 05:30, 15 October 2011
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	== I like this guy ==		== I like this guy ==
	Why don't you write something about his great achievement in literature? [[User:Root\|Root]] 18:38, 10 October 2011 (UTC)		Why don't you write something about his great achievement in literature? [[User:Root\|Root]] 18:38, 10 October 2011 (UTC)
		+
		+	I would like you to write more about Liang Qichao's emotions, using quotes if you can find them. Liang was a very passionate man. How do you think he felt when he failed his Jinshi examination? Tell about his admiration of Kang Youwei. There were many times in which he must have been very disappointed in the path China was taking, please write passionately about his despair. Was he optimistic or pessimistic about China's future? Adding just a few sentences using emotionally charged words will help bring this paper to life.:) [[User:Dei\|Dei]] 05:30, 15 October 2011 (UTC)