Talk:Su Shi (Su Dongpo)

I suggest that you add in titles to separate information like this.

Title

but you don't have to

but overall it looks great, also make sure you use in text citations in addition to your list of refrences at the bottom and i would sugest instead of writting (source Edgar pg. 34) just have (Edgar pg. 34) you don't need to say source but it is really up to you.

Alchemist1330

Comment 2

I think you should make the poems clearer, as in "cleaner"? Like right now it seems to blend in with the rest of the text, I think it should be more distinctive. Thanks, --Checksum 04:53, 4 March 2012 (UTC)

Proof Read! :)

1- You need to be sure to put a space before your source otherwise the parentheses are connected to the last word of the section you are citing.

2- Spelling and grammar errors are easier to spot after you take a break. I'm pretty sure you will spot what I'm talking about right away if you go to your paper now and try reading it out loud.

3- And, how about an argument? This is a nice autobiography, but, well, we were asked to defend something. Of course, it looks like you aren't finished yet- maybe the argument is still to come- right? Dekeo 06:44, 4 March 2012 (UTC)

My Thesis Statement

Thanks for the advice, guys! My Thesis statement will be "I was an ordinary man whose greatest talent came from the desire to try what nobody else has attempted, without being tied down to the expectations of the time." Kind of a weird thesis,I know, but this is what I think of Su Shi, so that is what I will try to argue. Try and read my paper with this in mind. :) Alexis Sagen 17:43, 4 March 2012 (UTC)

Comment 4

The stuff about what 'you' did is nice, but how are they things "nobody else has attempted?" As in, I don't know what other people normally did so I don't recognize what 'you' did as different, if this makes sense. --Whatisthis 21:01, 4 March 2012 (UTC)

More from me

I really like your "A Renaissance Man" section, its very beautiful and well done.
Its rather lengthy (of course not in a bad manner) and I also like how well your references was alphabetized!
I would like to see more citations, and I believe some of them aren't done correctly...
Thanks,--Checksum 03:36, 5 March 2012 (UTC)

I would write down the year and page number in my citations, but hardly any of my sources have these things. Most don't even have authors. :( Therefore, I mostly just have to write the title of the page I'm citing, which looks kind of funny. Alexis Sagen 04:24, 5 March 2012 (UTC)