Cixi

I have never thought of myself as a woman. When I was first presented to the emperor as a concubine, I knew I was being given an opportunity to rewrite my fate; the chance to ascend to my proper place as the only power under heaven. I had everyone address me as if I was a man, and even required my adopted son Guanxu to call me "father" for that was what I was to him (Liu 151). I could not care for and tenderly nurture Guanxu as a mother should,I had to guide him with the hard hand of a father so he would understand that his place was beneath me.Would I had been born a man. You can have no idea how many times I have had this thought. I thought it the first night I was presented to the emperor Xianfeng, the day I was forced to rid China of my worthless son, and one day before my death when I ordered my adoptive son poisoned so that he wouldn't further corrupt and erode my beautiful empire in my absence. If I had not been born a wretched woman, I would not have had to bloody my hands so. If I had been born to my rightful role as emperor, I would not have had to watch as one impeccable fool after another wrought disaster upon China. If I had only been born a man, China would have joined together to successfully vanquished the Western threats and the emperors of China would now be ruling on high over the whole world as is our right, as would have been our destiny.

I was born on Nov. 29, 1835 to a distinguished Manchu lineage, the Nehonala clan, though my father was only a minor official (Perkins 93). Even as I child, I had been discontent with my position in life, so when I was named a consort of the emperor Xianfeng in 1851 at the age of 16 (Perkins 93), I gladly accepted it as an escape from the drudgery of my current life. I ascended through the ranks of Kianfeng’s consorts until I became a favorite in 1856 for having born him his only living son, Tongzhi (Perkins 93). I did not find palace fife as exciting as I had expected. I enjoyed the luxuries that the palace had to offer (I have to research about luxuries), but the life was decidedly dull. I was kept even more out of sight than I had been at my family's household. I worked hard to be pleasing to the emperor and my efforts payed off almost immediately for the emperor had a simple mind and was exceedingly easy to read. Seeing that I showed great interest in in his affairs, the emperor readily allowed me to read official documents and discussed his most important policy matters with me. It was thus that I became highly literate and knowledgeable about the ways of government, and thus that I became even more unsatisfied with my meager role. I began to take a more active role in state affairs and realized how much more suitable I was to rule than so many of the inept officials that the emperor kept by his side. China had been steadily falling into a state of dispensary. (List wars and revolts) I could not understand why officials were allowing Westerners to cross into our empire with their foreign religions and taint filled ideas to corrupt our people. This is not to say that I was not interested in the many wonders that the West had to offer. At some point right under the sleeping noses of the Manchu officials, countries such as Britain and the United States had surpassed us in technology. I saw the opportunity to utilize Western technology and to surpass it. After constant visits to the emperor's chambers, my efforts finally came into fruition. When I felt the baby in my womb, I began to hatch a scheme around that small life. I prayed to my ancestors every day that it might be a son so that it will be heir to the throne. I prayed that this infant would be the means through which I could unify China once more.With grand visions forming in my mind, I waited patiently through the troubles and annoyances of pregnancy. When the baby was finally born and pronounced a boy, I cried for joy: I was to be free from my frustration at last. Or so I thought; life is never that simple and many hurdles would arise before I could assume the throne. My son was called Tongzhi and I was able to convince the emperor to name him the legal successor to the throne at the age of six (Pakula 41). I was promoted to the rank of Noble Consort Yi , second only to the empress (Citation), though I was prized by the emperor more than the empress Cian because I had done what she could not.

In 1860, during the Second Opium War, I was forced to flee with my Emperor from our Summer Palace in Beijing because of an attack from British and French troops (Citation). The poor emperor never had a strong constitution, and this attack sent him into a depression so deep that even I couldn’t draw him from it(Citation). He began to take drugs and drink alcohol in excess(Citation). The emperor died in 1861 (Perkins 93). Before died, he made his 8 most conservative advisors joint regents over my son and I was given the rank of the empress dowager(Citation). I conspired to gain power with Prince Gong, and successfully arrested the 8 regents standing in my way, executing 3 of them(Citation). I became co-regent with the empress consort, Cian(Citation). Cian was ignorant about anything concerning the state and could neither read nor write, so she was only to happy to leave state affairs to me (Pakula 41). I left the state affairs to Prince Gong and Li Hongzhang(Citation). Li was trustworthy but I was forced to dismiss Prince Gong in 1884(Citation).

I had few friends in courts, but I was very fond of my head eunuch, Li Yianying, who was a special friend(Citation). Li Yianying came at a time when I was in deep distress because none of my eunuchs could comb and style my hair properly. Like a gift from heaven, Li offered to style my hair and when I looked in the mirror, not a hair was out of place. I never had a bad hair day while Li was by my side. I once set caged birds free in the Summer Palace, but they flew back to their cage. I asked Li Lianying why they returned and he replied, "Of course, it is due to your benevolence." I thought that Li was joking so he told me to set fish free in Kunming Lake, saying, "If the fish declined to leave, it will prove this." I did as he said and to my surprise, the all the fish returned. I later discovered that Li put aromatic food in the water and didn’t feed the fish for several days(Citation). Some say that Li Lianying was simply flattering me, but he was one man who treated me well. So many looked at me with scorn and said that I was acting above my station as a woman; that I was only a consort. Even if it was only flattery, who cares as long as he did it well? Li treated me well, so I rewarded him with much power over my court. Li Lianying cared so much for my wellbeing that he encouraged me to reconstruct the Summer Palace and grand marble boat for lake-viewing(Citation). The other men at court would have had me go without simply because the money was supposed to be used in military endeavors(Citation). Why couldn’t they realize as Li did that the troubles in my empire distressed me far more than it did them and the palace was a great comfort to me.

My regency ended for a time when my son married but unfortunately Tongzhi died in 1875 of smallpox (though some said it was from exhaustion and overindulgence)(Citation). Naturally, as a mother, I mourned the death of my son, but I had control my emotions and think about the future. China needed an heir and I was determined to put the right person on the throne. China still needed me as a regent, so I needed a young emperor who would follow my guidance. There was some doubt as to who should become the next ruler for my daughter-in-law was pregnant, but it happened that my daughter-in-law committed suicide before she was able to give birth to a possible heir. It was said soon after that I had forced my daughter-in-law to commit suicide in order to gain power for myself(Citation).

My 3-year old nephew, Guanxu was selected as the next ruler with me as his regent(Citation). Some objected to choosing a successor from the same generation as the last ruler because he cannot perform the filial rights but I did not let such trivial objections deter his inauguration and convinced the officials to name him emperor(Citation). Guanxu came of age in 1866 but I did not give up my regency until he married in 1889(Citation). Even then, I maintained some control, making decisions and appointments which my nephew couldn’t veto and I read all of his official documents(Citation). You must understand that neither Guanxu, nor Tongzhi was as fit to rule as I. They had not the temperament, nor the talents to rule a great nation under constant threat. I had studied law for much longer than they, and I was doing only what I saw as necessary in order to protect the empire I held so dear. More and more, foreign forces were threatening my great empire. France took control of Vietnam, formally a vassal state. We were defeated by the Japanese who then took control of Korea in what is called the Sino-Japanese War(Citation). In 1898, Guanxu issued a foolish set of progressive edicts based on the Japanese model of modernization in what is called the 100 day reform(Citation). I had been waiting quietly in the Summer Palace, pretending to support the emperor in his many reforms, but his extreme and progressive actions began to greatly alarm me at the degree to which they would weaken the Qing government(Perkins18-20). Guanxu, ever anxious about my interference, ordered me arrested and imprisoned (Perkins 20). However, he trusted the wrong man. General Yuan Shikai, the agent whom he entrusted with the order was in fact a loyal pawn of mine (Perkins 20). I reversed Guanxu's thwarted plan on him; eunuchs captured the emperor in his chambers and escorted him to the Ocean Terrace, and island in a lake near the Forbidden City (Perkins 20). I quickly and decisively proceeded to arrest and execute the officials responsible for the corruption of the emperors mind, and within five days, I had revoked all of the edicts that Guanxu had tried to put in place (Schoppa 44). I rewarded Yuan Shikai for his usefulness in this affair by giving him governorship of the province of Shandong (Perkins 94).

I had an edict sent out an declaring that I would resume my regency do to the emperors ill health. This edict and knowledge of the coup caused many rumors to circulate in China and abroad that the emperor had been executed. Some Western governments threatened that they would act against us if the emperor were executed, going so far as to insist that a doctor be allowed to see Guanxu so as to ascertain his state of health. I acquiesed to this request nut the people were outraged at the audacity of the foreigners and so several anti-foreign riots broke out. (Perkins 20) I admit that my mind had begun to process the idea that Guanxu had become more of a nuisance than an asset. I had perhaps been too sluggish in reaching this conclusion, no doubt do to some foolish attachment I felt towards Guanxu because he was my own flesh and blood and my adopted son. At last having reached the decision to terminate the barrier to China's restoration, I could not let anyone deter me from my path. I waited patiently for the foreign states to forget about Guanxu's existence and move on with their own affairs.

China was growing weaker because of rapidly expanding European influences. Foreign missionaries came in great numbers to convert my people so that even the emperor himself began to be corrupted(Citation). My love for my people and our traditions lead me to take a step that I had been hesitant in taking: I lent my support to a secret society called the Society of Righteous and Harmonious Fists or the Boxers(Citation). This society practiced martial arts and claimed to have super natural powers that would make them resistant even to guns and cannons. They were determined to restore China to its former glory, free of foreign taint, and hearing that the voices of my people were behind them, I gave my consent in 1898 to what is now called the Boxer Rebellion(Citation). Unfortunately, China had fallen too far already and I was forced to flee from the western troops with Guanxu to a temporary capital in Xi’an, and when I saw that the battles were not going in our favor, I decided it was best to live to fight another day and signed the Boxer Protocol which forced China to pay a great indemnity, placed a ban on the making of armaments, and accused many, including myself, of war crimes(Citation). I was then able to return to the capital and continue my reign in 1902(Citation). I reenacted many reforms that I had abolished(Citation). With the examination system gone, many western-stlye schools were built(Citation).

I died in 1908, one day after my nephew’s death(Citation). Before I died, I selected my grand-nephew, the 2 years and 10 month old Puyi as the successor to the throne(Citation). In 2008, some so called scientists discovered that Guanxu died of arsenic poisoning and accused me of having murdered him; knowing of my imminent death and fearing that he would continue his progressive reforms when I was no longer there to interfere(Citation).

Sources Cited

Liu, Lydia. The Clash of Empires: The Invention of China in Modern World Making. Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 2004.

Pakula Hannah. The last empress: Madame Chiang Kai-Shek and the birth of modern China. New York: Simon and Schuster, 2009.

Paludan, Ann. Chronicle of the Chinese Emerors. New York: Thames &Hudson Inc., 1998.

Perkins, Dorothy. Encyclopedia of China: The Essential Reference to China, Its History and Culture. New York: Round Table Press Inc., 1999.

Schoppa, R. Keith. The Columbia Guide to Modern Chinese History. New York: Columbia University Press, 2000.