Talk:Li Bai

New comments in 2013

Dear Joshua, please start by uploading your powerpoint presentation and then revise the existing article. Now it is still too short. The final version should be 7 pages. You need to stick to the 1st person narrative ("I", "me" etc.) and not only describe things, but also switch to the commentator role (maybe indicated by "Contemporary Commentator" and then evaluate and discuss the topic from different angles, put it into context, criticize etc.). If you want to write less, you can integrate more pictures. Please make sure to indicate your source after each sentence or, if there is a whole paragraph with the same source, after each paragraph. You can indicate it like "Smith 2009:345" and in the final section "References" write the long version "Smith, Jared, Confucius revisted, Yale University Press 2009, 415 pp." In the edit mode, section headers are indicated with "=" and sub section headers with "==". In the edit mode, paragraphs need to be marked with 2 line feeds ("Enter" key). 1 Line feed will not show up as a paragraph. For additional editing tips, including how to indicate sources and how to find copyright free pictures, please refer to [1]. Good luck with your composition! Best, Root (talk) 13:54, 25 February 2013 (CET)

Looks good to me. You had the advantage that you could improve an article which was already quite good. But you also made some good corrections and substantial additions. Please indicate the references of the pictures according to e.g. the standard as seen in the article Qu Yuan. Root (talk) 00:21, 5 March 2013 (CET)

Josh, I really liked your article. It was easy to read and understand. Your commentary is great and very entertaining. You made Li Bai come to life for me a bit. --Chameleon (talk) 03:16, 2 March 2013 (CET)

Josh! This is a very detailed page. I enjoyed reading it. The first thing I noticed though was that your pictures didn't have the citations underneath them and that concerned me a bit. But then I noticed them at the end of the article. So I suppose that is alright. Also I found it a bit redundant when you would narrate something and then basically quote it right after. I think it would be okay to put the citation after the narration to show where you got that information rather than saying things twice. I don't think it would affect your page limit by doing that. It's already really long. The poems at the end were good to have there but as a visual maybe put them side by side? Overall I thought it was great. Those were just a few things I noticed right off. Samantha S (talk) 03:07, 1 March 2013 (CET)

It would be good to have some examples of Li Bai's poems. Specifically looking at the poetry section, the grammar could be tightened up. Cappuccino (talk) 16:19, 27 February 2013 (CET)

I too think some more examples of Li Bai's poetry would be nice with some commentary. I think the part already added about his life being a shortcut/ easy way out was interesting so maybe some more detail on that could be used. Maybe graphical examples of his poetry- such as the calligraphy etc could also enhance this article.--MerchantThief (talk) 00:39, 28 February 2013 (CET)

This is probably the best article I have seen yet. More visuals would be nice and more poems from Li Bai or other good pictures would be great. I think that you have a lot of smaller snippets of specific information and if you could go more in depth on those snippets it would lend a lot more to the length and the quality. A Nonny Mouse (talk) 00:51, 28 February 2013 (CET)

Agreed, marvelous article. There seems to be a lot of white space between topics, can that be tightened up a bit? Otherwise, I have no complaints. Ignatius J Reilly (talk) 22:51, 1 March 2013 (CET)

Old comments

Author's Note

1. I'm really trying to get my sources tight- if you notice anything that you think should have a citation next to it, please tell me so!
2. Quality over quantity! I know its rather short: if you think it should be longer just say so.
3. I just have to say so myself, I think my topic is hilarious.

Thanks, --ArnoldQ 07:53, 4 March 2012 (UTC)

Good Start- it sounds like reading your paper is going to be a lot of fun- totally suitable "voice" for your poet. Be sure to double check you spelling though- right after saying you might be of Turkish descent, you say "My probably" instead of "I". Simple mistake; a good proofreading will take care of that.Dekeo 06:02, 4 March 2012 (UTC)

Aclhemist1330

Please talk about your death and horn growing story it was the highlight off your whole presentation and capture the voice of a drunkard in some areas. I really like the lay out and flow make sure you have refences

looking good

You don't have to worry about any of your sources. You were very thorough. I don't think the length of your paper is a problem. Being able to make a concise argument in a short amount of space is a good thing. Still, making the paper longer won't hurt you if you are worried about your grade and are still working on this paper. Name 04:41, 5 March 2012 (UTC)

Comment ?

The sources look fine. Considering yours is solid text and not poem fillers, the length is of no problem. More pictures would be nice though~ --Whatisthis 06:34, 5 March 2012 (UTC)

interesting!

I would expand on his poetry more, although that isn't really your topic. Maybe cite the second picture better. I would add a few more pictures actually. No errors, but can't hurt to double check. --Checksum 07:06, 5 March 2012 (UTC)