Talk:Deng Xiaoping

Excellent paper! I found just a few mistakes. In your second line, I think that "benefits and joys of communist" should be changed to "benefits and joys of communism." and in the first line of your second paragraph, "August 22, 190" should be changed to "August 22, 1904." Dei 14:44, 15 October 2011 (UTC)

I found a lot of cool information on this site -> [1]. On the first page it says, "In France he learned to love the game of bridge, developed a passion for croissants and became a soccer fan; he once pawned an overcoat to buy a ticket for a match." You mentioned how baseball was pointless. Maybe you could follow it up that soccer was much better! On the 2nd page, it says, "In fact, Deng was too busy proving his worth to Mao to return to Paifangcun in 1940, when his father was killed and beheaded by unknown attackers." This is sad.:( The article also mentions Deng's family life. Apparently he divorced a couple of times and on the 2nd page it says, "Amid this purge, Jin Weiying, Deng's second wife (little is known of his first), divorced him and married his chief ideological accuser." This must have made Deng feel horrible, so maybe you should mention it. Dei 15:11, 15 October 2011 (UTC)

Here is a citation for your sentence "I had transformed from a patriotic child to an adult Marxist during my five year stay in France" :

Jing, Fu. "Small Paris hotel hosted young leaders." China Daily US Edition 30 June 2011. n. pag. Web. 16 Oct. 2011. <http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/cndy/2011-06/30/content_12805403.htm>. Dei 18:19, 16 October 2011 (UTC)

You did a great job, and I look forward to hearing you present this information in class! If you added a few pictures I am sure that you would get a better grade. C lindsay 04:22, 17 October 2011 (UTC) 22:22, 16 October 2011

You still need to add something more about Deng's Opening Policy, especially with Nixon and his "Special Economic Zones" as well as his "Special Administrative Zone", which he negotiated with Margaret Thatcher. Please add pictures and more sources. Root 13:43, 20 October 2011 (UTC)

I liked the "voice". Nice touch of humility at the beginning. But, the mechanics of your writing need a little work. Some of your sentences are rather confusing "I squandered anybody who voiced an opinion..." How do you "squander" someone? Another example- "In 1989, several Soviet Union leaders visited Beijing during which a protest..." Do you mean "during which visit a protest..."? How about two sentences here? In 1989 several Soviet Union leaders visited Beijing. (period) While they were here, there was a protest... (Just a couple of suggestions)

Also, you start out with nice, strong, active verbs but, as the article progresses you fall into passive sentences- "I had always remained..." instead of the much stronger " I remained..." And- "I had transformed into..." instead of "I transformed into...".

You should probably proofread it again...I made a couple of corrections in punctuation and spelling- but, there are more corrections that need to be made, especially toward the end.Dekeo 21:02, 21 October 2011 (UTC)