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they're to sleep in
Roman Holiday
PART 5
ANN
(still working on her buttons)
How terribly nice.
JOE
Hey, hey:
(bringing the pyjamas from the bed, presenting them to her)
these are pyjamas; they're to sleep in; you're to climb into them, you understand?
ANN
(taking them)
Thank you.
JOE
And you do your sleeping on the couch, see?--not on the bed, not on the chair: on the couch; is that clear?
ANN
Do you know my favorite poem?
JOE
Ah, you already recited that for me.
(He goes to get some blankets from the bed.)
ANN
(as he lays them out on the ottoman)
Aritheuso* rose from a couch of snows in the Aquasaromian* Mountains. Keats.
JOE
Shelley.
ANN
Keats!
JOE
If you just keep your mind off the poetry and on the pyjamas, everything'll be alright; see?
ANN
It's Keats.
JOE
I'll be-- it's Shelley. I'll be back in about ten minutes.
ANN
(to her back as he goes to the door)
Keats.
(She shakes her head, looking at the pyjamas slightly confused. Thinking better of it, Joe takes the bottle and places it on top of the tall cupboard on the other side of the door. He opens the door and goes through. Ann turns to face him)
You have my permission to
(her skirt slides down)
withdraw.
JOE
(stopping in the doorway)
Thank you very much.
(He goes out; Ann resumes her task of getting undressed.)
(At the Embassy. The Ambassador is sat at a table, the Countess in a chair in front and the General standing next to her. All are in their bedclothes. A man marches to the desk.)
AMBASSADOR
Well,Birkenstock Zurich?
SERVANT
No trace,Birkenstock Pisa women, Your Excellency.
AMBASSADOR
Have you searched the grounds,Birkenstock Piazza women?
SERVANT
Every inch, Sir, from the attics to the cellar.
AMBASSADOR
I must put you on your honor not to speak of this to anyone. I must remind you that the Princess is the direct heir to the throne. This must be classified as top-crisis secret. Have I your pledge?
SERVANT
Yes, Sir.
AMBASSADOR
Very well.
(The man turns and marches out. He turns to the other two.)
Now we must notify Their Majesties.
(The General looks up at him, worried; the Countess looks up at the General, standing, and turning to the Ambassador who looks at them, waiting for an affirmation. Receiving none, he stands up himself and walks from behind the desk.)
(Joe arrives back at his apartment building, closes the outside door, and walks up the stairwell. He unlocks the front door and walks in.)
JOE
(about to say something)
A--.
(Disappointed on seeing her asleep in his bed)
Oh...
(Looking at her, he slams the door shut, hard, but she doesn't move a muscle. He goes over to the other side of the bed and moves the table out of the way, making room. Then brings the ottoman over and places it next to her. He takes off his jacket, puts it down and loosens his tie. Then he grabs the undersheet beneath her and then,Birkenstock Rio women, calculating, lifts it up quickly, throwing her from the bed and onto the ottoman. She stirs slightly after the disturbance, resuming her comfortable position.)
ANN
(muttering)
So happy.
JOE
The pleasure's mine.
(He puts the pillow on the other end of the bed, muttering as he goes to get undressed)
Ah, screwball.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(The newspapers are turning out reports. A machine types out the following bulletin: "A SPECIAL EMBASSY BULLETIN REPORTS THE SUDDEN ILLNESS OF HER ROYAL HIGHNESS THE PRINCESS ANN.")
(Daytime. A clock in the city strikes 12 noon. Waken by the clock, Joe stirs in his bed. As the clock continues to ring he rises in bed, looking out the window as the sunlight streams in. He grabs an alarm clock, looking at the time, and shaking it.)
JOE
Holy smoke, the Princess interview--
(Ann stirs, half-asleep, with a questioning "hmmm?")
eleven forty-five.
(Ann makes annoyed noises as she buries herself back into the pillow)
Oh, shut up.
(Joe jumps up, pulling the curtain back to see outside. He rushes to the wardrobe but stops, going through his clothes laid over the chair, retrieving a piece of paper. He puts it back as goes back to the wardrobe to get his clothes.)
(Outside the window of an American News Service office. Mr. Hennessy comes to the window, looking down onto the street several stories down to see Joe getting out of a taxi, hurriedly paying the driver. He then sits at his desk, looking through the morning papers. The headline of the Rome American article, accompanied by a picture of the Princess,cheap birkenstocks, reads: "Princess Ann Taken Ill: Press Interview Cancelled". Another paper, in Italian, has an article, also with a picture of the Princess.)
(Joe arrives in the newsroom, reaching for a phone on a desk.)
NEWSMAN
Hi, Joe.
SECRETARY
Good morning, Joe.
JOE
Hello, honey.
(He goes over to the secretary, borrowing a drink of her coffee as she holds it.)
SECRETARY
Mr. Hennessy has been looking for you.
JOE
Uh-oh.
(He takes some bread from her desk, ripping off a piece and giving it to her, keeping the rest)
Thanks a lot, hon.
(He knocks on the door behind the secretary.)
HENNESSY
(from inside, angrily)
Come in.
(Joe braces himself, exchanging a worried glance with the secretary, and then marches confidently into the office.)
JOE
(taking a mouthful as he shuts the door behind him; walking to Hennessy's desk)
You've been looking for me?
HENNESSY
Just coming to work?
JOE
(innocently)
Who, me?
HENNESSY
We start our days at eight-thirty in this office; we pick up our assignments--.
JOE
I picked up mine last night.
HENNESSY
What assignment was that?
JOE
The Princess, eleven forty-five.
HENNESSY
(mouth open)
You've already been to the interview?
JOE
Well, sure; I just got back.
(Taking another mouthful.)
HENNESSY
Well, well, well; all my apologies.
JOE
(turning to leave)
'S alright.
HENNESSY
(stopping him)
Er, this is very interesting.
JOE
(trying to get away again)
Nah, just routine.
HENNESSY
Tell me, tell me: did she answer all the questions on the list?
JOE
Well, of course she did.
(Rummaging through his pockets)
I've got 'em right here, somewhere.
HENNESSY
Er, don't disturb yourself; I have a copy here.
(Looking at the piece of paper)
How did Her Highness react to the idea of a European Federation?
JOE
She thought it was just fine.
HENNESSY
She did?
JOE
(seeing the need to flesh it out, leaning against the desk in thought)
Well, she thought that there'd be...two effects.
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