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他们不是在人为地创造戏剧。商品生产迫使他们走向社会。在过去从事集体生产时,家庭成员之间的经济关系,基本是在消费领域中。消费和传统的伦理家教,成为联结家庭的两个纽带。现在家庭成了一个独立的生产单位,他们不光用生产者的观点考虑问题了,还要从经营者的角度考虑技术、信息、市场,他们需要提高效率,提高竞争能力。在时间观念上,他们不能再像过去那样只分春夏秋冬,或者含糊地“吃顿饭的工夫”“抽袋烟的工夫”。家庭成员之间不仅有直接生产的关系, 还有交换劳动和交换产品的关系,甚至竞争关系!家庭成员之间的分配关系随着生产方式的改变也在发生着变化!他们像艘古老的小船驶出平静的港湾,迎着波涛向彼岸驶去,船上全体人员需要的不是固守那些陈旧的道德规范,而是要务尽职能,变成一个协同一致的集体、奋力如一的整体,当巨轮迎面开过,涌起的惊涛要将它吞没时,它可以迅速地调转船头,驶向新的海域。

They are not artificially creating drama. Commodity production forces them into society. In the past, the economic relation among family members basically existed in consumption when they were engaged in collective production. Consumption and traditional ethics were the two bonds connecting families. Nowadays, family has become an independent production unit.People are required to not only view problems from the perspective of producers,but also consider technology, information, and market from the perspective of operators. They need to improve efficiency and enhance competitiveness.As for time sense,they can no longer only divide a year into spring,summer,autumn and winter as they used to.Nor can they vaguely say "time for a meal" or "time for a cigarette".Family members not only have direct production relations, but also exchange labor and products.They are even in a competitive relationship! Meanwhile,as mode of production is transforming,the distribution relation among family members also changes! They are like an old boat sailing out of a calm harbor and facing the waves to the other shore.The crew don't have to stick to those old-fashioned moral norms, but try their best to become a concerted group.In this case, even if a giant ship passes by, it can swiftly turn its bow and sail to a new sea without being engulfed by the surging waves.

They are not artificially creating drama. Commodity production forces them into society. In the past, when engaged in collective production , the economic relations among family members were basically in the field of consumption. Consumption and traditional ethics became two bonds connecting families. Nowadays, as family has become an independent production unit, people are required to not only view problems from the perspective of producers, but also consider issues such as technology, information, and market from the perspective of operators. They need to improve efficiency and enhance competitiveness. In the sense of time, they can no longer divide a year into spring, summer, autumn and winter, or vaguely into "time for a meal" or "time for a cigarette" as they used to. Family members not only have direct production relations, but also exchange labor and products. They are even in a competitive relationship! Meanwhile, as mode of production is transforming, the distribution relation among family members also changes! They are like an old boat out of a calm harbor, sailing against the waves to the shore. The crew don't have to stick to those old-fashioned moral norms, but try their best to become a concerted group. In this case, even if a giant ship passes by, it can swiftly turn its bow and sail to a new sea without being engulfed by the surging waves.

卷一：7.三门李轶闻

三门李轶闻

乔迈

在公元一九八〇年的早春时节,在我们国家960万平方公里地面上的ー个角落里,发生了一件很小的又是很大的,平平常常的又是非同凡响的,乍听之下似乎出人意料,细细想来却又尽在意料之中的事。

好事不出门,坏事传千里。消息像插上了翅膀,随着料峭的春风,迅速传往四面八方,在不同的人们中间,激起了不同的反应:有拍案而起的怒责,有幸灾乐祸的冷嘲热讽,有庄严的沉思,有含着苦笑的悲叹……

昔日默默无闻的小村落——散漫地分布在东辽河左岸一片大盐碱滩上的吉林省怀德县十屋公社三门李第四生产队——因此名声大噪了。

这是关于五个共产党员和他们的一段奇异遭遇的故事……

Sanmen Li Anecdotes

Qiao Mai

In the early spring of 1980, something that could be small or big, ordinary or extraordinary happened in a corner of China’s 9.6 million square kilometers of land. It might seem unexpected at first glance, but expected after careful consideration.

Good news never goes beyond the gate, while bad news spreads far and wide. The news spread rapidly with chilly spring breeze as if it had wings, arousing different reactions among people: some smote the table and rose to their feet; some gloated over and ridiculed it; some fell into solemn contemplation; some lamented with forced smiles…

Because of this, the once unknown village, the 4th production team of Sanmen Li, Shiwu commune, Huaide County, Jilin province, which is scattered in a large salt flat on the left bank of the East Liaohe River, gained a great reputation.

This is a story about five Communist Party members and their extraordinary encounters…

我们共产党人在群众中的位置

The Position of Our Communists among the Masses

旧历庚申年——猴年——的春节快到了。汗如流水苦累了一年的庄稼人,兴高采烈地忙着杀年猪,淘米做豆包,赶集买年画,换粉条子,买鱼,打酒。半天上零星地响着性急的孩子们提前燃放的鞭炮,空气中混合着淡微微的火药味儿,更使年关的气氛足了。 The Spring Festival of the Year of the Monkey (also known as the Year of Gengshen in the old calendar) was approaching. The farm people, who had been toiling for a year, were happily busy killing new year pigs, washing rice to make bean buns, going to the market to buy new year pictures, exchanging vermicelli, and buying fish and wine. In mid-air, firecrackers set off by impatient children rang sporadically, and the air was mixed with a faint smell of gunpowder, further enriching the atmosphere of the New Year.

然而,这几天有一件事,比迎接春节更加吸引着三门李庄稼人的心,那是关于联产计酬、自愿结合划分作业组的消息。多少天以来,在积肥场上,在饭桌边,在月光和雪光照射的难以成眠的热炕头,干部们,老农们,父子、叔兄和小夫妻们,咕咕哝哝议论的都是这事。这可不是一件小事啊!包工包产到作业组,人合心,马合套,就不愁多打粮,多贡献,早富。但是,作业组怎么个划法呢?谁和谁在ー组呢? 人们在焦急地等待着。

However, in these days, there was one thing that attracted the farm people of Sanmen Li more than greeting the Spring Festival. It was the news about the remuneration of the joint production and the voluntary division of the work group. For many days, cadres, elderly farmers, fathers and sons, uncles and young couples were seen discussing this issue in the composting facility, at the table, and on the heated bed where moonlight and snow sprinkled and people were hard to fall asleep. This was not a small matter! Each work group was responsible for tasks and then would be rewarded according to its achievements. If people had been concerted, there would have been no worry about food. If everyone had made contributions, people would have achieved an early prosperity. But how was the work group organized? How about the group members? People were waiting anxiously.

终于,大队书记沈春亲自来村里主持召开分组会议了。他先召集本队的五名党员开小组会,要求大家认真贯彻执行党中央关于实行生产责任制的指示,特别提出,分组的时候,党员们不要聚堆,最好分散到各组去,以便加强党的领导。大家点头称是。然后,这オ敲钟集合人。这是ー个规模空前的社员大会,人们参加会议的踊跃程度可以同土改时候斗地主的大会相媲美。平时总是显得过大而空洞的“队屋子”,此时嫌窄了。来的不但有劳力们,一家之长们,也还有爱凑热闹的小嘎子以及奶着孩子的妇女。大蛤蟆头烟像施放驱霜烟雾似的呼呼升起来,把临时换上的二百瓦大灯泡都熏暗了。然而,屋子里很静,没有往常开会那种没完没了的闲嗑和打趣儿逗眼。 Finally, the secretary of production brigade Shen Chun came to the village and chaired a breakout session. He first summoned five party members of the production team for a meeting, giving an order that the safe production responsibility system must be conscientiously carried out. At the same time, he stressed, in particular, party members should avoid gatherings, and had better be dispersed to each group so as to strengthen our Party's leadership. Everyone nodded. Soon, bell was rung to gather people. It was a meeting of commune members on an unprecedented scale. The enthusiasm of the people to attend the meeting could be comparable with that of anti-landlord meeting during the land reform. The team house, which was always too large and empty, now appeared to be too narrow for people. There were not only laborers, family heads, but also little children who loved to join in the fun, and women who were breastfeeding their children. The smoke of big toad head tobacco, which was from long-stemmed Chinese pipes, rose like defrosting smoke, darkening the makeshift 200-watt light bulb. However, the room was very quiet without endless gossip and banter of the usual meetings.

书记宣讲了县委的有关文件,又讲了大队党支部的建议。那个建议很简单,就是根据本生产队劳力、土地和牲畜等情况,认为分成两个作业组比较合适。组划多了,人员不够角儿。 The secretary preached relevant documents of the county party committee and conveyed a simple suggestion from the party branch of the brigade. That is, it was more appropriate to divide into two work groups according to the labor, land and livestock of the production team. Given that if there were too many groups, the personnel would be not enough.

庄稼人心急嘴也急。沈春的话音刚落,有人就呼儿号儿地喊起来:“这个政策行啊!拥护!既是自愿结合,谁就插旗招兵吧!”一人喊,众人应。会场上,呼兄唤弟,喊朋叫友,乱成了一片。 The farm people were impatient and outspoken. As soon as Shen Chun stopped speaking, someone exclaimed, "This policy is good! I'm for it. Since it is a voluntary union, let's plant the flag and recruit! " One shouted, and everyone responded. The venue was in chaos as everyone was rushing to join a group.

沈春一看,大势所趋,人心所向,心里也觉着高兴,暗暗佩服中央的政策深得民心,作业组ー定能划分得好,来年生产错不了,就又急忙讲了划组的注意事项,主要是希望把骨干劳力和弱劳カ搭配好,避免出现ー头轻的现象,别的地方就有这样的偏差。同时,作为领导,沈春书记当然也没有忘记提醒大家发扬风格,团结友爱,互相照顾,等等。

Seeing that it was a general trend and the expectation of peoples, Shen Chun felt happy and secretly admired the central policy which had won the hearts of people. He believed that the work group would be well-divided and the production in the coming year must be good. Furthermore, to avoid disequilibrium that had happened in other places, Shen Chun hastily added some precautions, mainly hoping to match backbone labors with weak labors. At the same time, as a leader, Secretary Shen Chun certainly remembered to remind everyone to carry forward virtues, uphold solidarity and friendship, take care of each other, etc.

报名开始了。有人喊:“我们是田富组长!”接着,就哇哇地念了这个那个组员的名字。又有人喊:“我们是王占河插旗!”接着,也哇哇地念了这个那个组员的名字。大队书记ー看,更觉高兴,这不是事先就有串联了吗!可见人们对分组积极性之高、对党的政策拥护之热忱了。但是,刚オ念名字的时候,会场太嘈杂,念的速度也太快,连汤水不落的,沈书记没有太听清楚都是谁和谁ー组,只觉得恍恍惚惚好像田富那个组多数是姓冷的,王占河那组差不多都姓王,似乎还剩下了一些人没进这两个组。沈书记赶紧动员:“既是基本有两个组了,也好,就以他们为基础吧,看看,还没入组的人,哪组要,要上哪组,抓紧时间报吧!”

Grouping began. Some shouted, “Our leader is Tian Fu", and he read a string of names of his group members. Another people followed, "Our leader is Wang Zhanhe!", and then he went on to read his group members' names. The scene made the secretary of the brigade even happier. That people had contacted each other in advance showed their enthusiasm about the grouping and our Party's policies! However, when names were read, the venue was too noisy and the speed of reading was too fast. Shen Chun wasn't able to hear clearly the group divisions. It seemed that most members in Tian Fu group had the same surname of Leng. While most members in Wang Zhanhe group had the same surname of Wang. There were still some people left alone. Therefore, secretary Shen hurriedly mobilized, "Basically speaking, we have two groups now. It's ok. However, there are people who haven't joint a group. Which group welcomes them？Which group do you want to go to？Please hurry up and make me informed!"

听了书记的话,刚オ热闹非凡的会场忽然安静下来,光剩下了人们使劲咂着嘴唇抽大蛤蟆头烟和分明是不那么自然的咳嗽声。沈书记感到有点诧异,便以诲人不倦的领导者风度,又讲了政策条文,然后问:“都还有谁没进组?举举手吧,先拢ー拢,看哪个组欢迎,自己愿意到哪个组去。都有谁呀?”说着,就在人们中间仔细审视起来。

Hearing what the secretary had said, the lively venue suddenly fell silent. All that remained were the sounds of people smacking their lips when smoking big toad head tobacco and that of clearly unnatural coughs. It really surprised Secretary Shen Chun. To motivate people, he again talked about the policy provisions in the demeanor of a tireless leader, and asked, "Who has not joined a group? Please raise your hand and come here. Which group welcomes them? Which group do you want to go to? " As he said, he casted a closer look among people.

大蛤蟆头烟又使劲地鼓起来了,烟雾先是升到棚顶,再慢慢往下压,快压到人们头上了。人们的目光有点异样。沈书记越发奇怪。他猛然发现了,在大蛤蟆头的烟雾缭绕中,有五个低垂着的头。头垂得那样低,以致稍不注意就看不见他们, 即使看见了,也无法看清他们的脸和眼睛。数九寒天,窗户上哈气成霜,可那五个人的发梢额角,却闪着亮晶晶的汗珠。

The smoke of the big toad head tobacco bulged vigorously again, and the smoke first rose to the roof of the shed, and then slowly pressed down, almost pressing on people's heads. People's gaze was a little strange. Seeing that, secretary Shen Chun felt even stranger. Suddenly, he found five people drooping their heads amidst the smoke of big toad head tobacco. Their heads hung so low that people could hardly notice them. Even if they did, they could not see clearly their faces and eyes. In the coldest time of winter, exhaled breath could easily frost on the windows. But the five people's hair ends and foreheads were shining with beads of sweat. 中共三门李大队支部书记沈春的脸腾地红了起来,好像被ー只无形的手狠狠扇了一巴掌。他看清楚了,那不是别人,正是本生产队的五名共产党员。看:身材高大、年纪五十开外的党小组长王オ,复员兵、年轻英俊的小伙子荣凤春和刘清洲, 河北人、壮年汉子王汉周和他的妻子、剪短发的王淑梅。对啦,正是他们五个人没有进组。在惶惑中,沈春想起了不久以前改选生产队长的事。他们这里硬是把党员队长荣凤春选掉了,换了一个非党员。那是不是今天这种事情的先兆呢?是的。可惜自己当时竟没有留心。

Secretary of the branch of Sanmen Li Brigade of the CPC, Shen Chun, suddenly flushed as if he had been slapped hard by an invisible hand. He saw clearly that it was none other than the five Communists of the production team: the party group leader Wang Cai who was tall and over 50 years old; demobilized soldiers Rong Fengchun and Liu Qingzhou who were young and handsome; Wang Hanzhou, a native of Hebei and a prime-aged man, and his wife Wang Shumei who cut her hair short. By the way, it was the five of them who did not join a group. In confusion, Shen Chun remembered the re-election of production captain not long ago. People here insisted on replacing Rong Fengchun, the captain of the party members, with a non-party member. Was that a harbinger of such thing today? Of course. It was a pity that he didn't pay attention at that time.

沈春无奈,只好等脸红过ー阵以后,勉强把心稳一下,很委婉地说:“我刚オ看, 还有几户等着入组的,都是社员,总不能甩出去几家,那样也不好。看看哪组愿意吸收他们。”

Shen Chun had no idea. Therefore, it was not until his face stopped blushing and his heart barely stabilized that he said very tactfully: "I have noticed that there are still some people waiting to join the group. We are all commune members. It's not good to leave a few behind. Let me see which group is willing to absorb them."

沉默。 Silence.

沈春身上的不自在一分一秒地增长起来,好像浑身的血都在往外膨胀,再看自己那五个同志,脑袋越发垂得低了。 The unease in Shen Chun's body grew minute by minute, as if the blood all over his body was swelling outward. And looking at his five comrades, he found their heads drooping even lower.

“看看……哪组……”沈春的声音越发微弱,以致连他自己都怀疑自己是不是还在说话。 "Let me see...Which group..." Shen Chun's voice became weaker and weaker so that he himself wondered if he was still talking.

沉默,还是沉默。 Silence. Still silence.

屋子里这样静,连小孩子吃奶的声音都停止了。也不知道这样过去了多少时间。 The room was so quiet that even the sound of children sucking milk stopped. Nobody knew how much time had passed like this.

“我们组就这些人啦!”忽然有一个人说,声音很低,语气却很坚决,使得全屋的人都吃了一惊。所有的眼睛都转过去看,却是刚オ插旗的王占河。 Suddenly, someone said, "That’s all we have on the group!", the voice very low but the tone quite resolute. It surprised all the people present so that they turned around to find who had done this. It turned out to be Wang Zhanhe who had just planted the flag.

“我们组也够啦!”又一个红脸汉子跟着高声大嗓地嚷,“书记刚オ不是讲让自愿吗?我们就这些人自愿。” Another red-faced man followed and shouted loudly, "We’ve got enough members, too. Didn't the secretary just talk about volunteering? We volunteer for these people."

这是封口了。眼珠不叫眼珠,真眼仁（人）呀! It was not negotiable.

五个共产党员是哪组都不要!…… No group wanted to accept these five party members!...

当天夜里,这几个被抛弃的共产党员不约而同地聚集到了党小组长王オ的家里。王オ是这几个人中间的长者,有着近三十年的党龄,又当过二十来年的生产队长。这位从八岁起就当半拉子、扛大活的老同志,当年曾是村里的一等棒劳力,后来驰骋疆场受过伤,抗美援朝渡过江,在难忘的1967年,还戴着三尺长的“走资派”高帽子,在全大队被光荣游斗。如今,霜欺两鬓,英雄老矣! That night, all these left-behind party members gathered at the house of Wang Cai, the leader of the party group. Among them, with a party standing of nearly thirty years, Wang Cai was the eldest, and had been the captain of the production for more than twenty years. When he was only eight, he started to work and undertake high-intensity work. Once upon a time, he was the first-class labor force in the village. Later, he was injured in the frontier, and participated in the War to Resist US Aggression and Aid Korea. In 1967, it was unforgettable for him to wear a three-foot-long "capitalist roader" high hat and be criticized by the whole brigade. Nowadays, the hero was old and grey!

但他真的老了吗?今晚,王オ望着默默聚拢来的同志们,心里边ー阵酸楚。他ー个个地看着大家的脸,有的垂头丧气,有的愤愤不平。那个唯一的女党员、河北人王淑梅两眼红红的,呼吸之间还有抽咽声在。他想安慰他们几句,却又觉得无话可说。这时候,他们中间最年轻的ー个——27岁的荣凤春说话了:“这不是故意整人吗?咋的,ー个不要!真把我们党员ー碗凉水看到底了!上公社、上县,也得说道说道。” But was he really old? Tonight, looking at these comrades who gathered here, Wang Cai’s heart was sour. He saw everyone’s face one by one: some downcast, some indignant. The only female party member, Wang Shumei, a native of Hebei, had red eyes and sobs between breaths. Wang Cai wanted to comfort them, but had nothing to say. At that time, the 27-year-old Rong Fengchun, the youngest among them, said, "they are tricking all of us! Hmph! Don't want any of us! They are prejudiced against us. Let’s seek justice from the commune and the county. "

“不假!”王汉周接过来了,他在河北曾经当过大队团委书记,很有点理论功底,说话喜欢提到纲线上认识,这时就操着一口河北腔说,“共产党领导一切,分组不要党员,这就是阶级斗争!”另ー个年轻党员刘清洲听了,也就着高往上拔,大声说:“可不是咋的！这就是不要党的领导,不要‘四个坚持’！跟沈书记说说,他们自个儿成立的两个组不合法,得推倒重来!” Wang Hanzhou, former secretary of the Youth League Committee of the Hebei Brigade, had some theoretical background. When he spoke, he would raise to a higher plane of principle and two-line struggle. At this time, he followed with a Hebei accent," That's right! The Communist Party leads everything. That party members are excluded from this grouping means there is class struggle! Hearing that, another young party member shouted, “That’s right! This is not adhering to the party's leadership and abandoning the 'Four Cardinal Principles'! Go and negotiate with secretary Shen Chun. It’s illegal for them to set up two groups on their own. They should be torn down and start over!"

“我看倒不一定扯到阶级斗争上去。”还是女党员王淑梅实事求是些,“人家ー多半怕是嫌咱们干活不行。咱也别强求人家,自己成立个组吧,架不住早点起,晚点歇,能总落后?”刘清洲听了也说:“可也是！搞原子弹、人造卫星不行,真格的了,种大地,这么大个子,就干不了?” Wang Shumei, the women party member, said practically, “I think it isn't necessarily about class struggle. Maybe they are afraid that we aren’t capable to work. We shouldn't force them to accept us. Let’s set up a group ourselves. I believe that we won't always lag behind if we work harder by getting up early and going to bed late." Hearing this, Liu Qingzhou followed, “You’re right! Though we are not able to build atomic bombs and artificial satellites, we can cultivate the land."

七言八语,莫衷ー是。王オ听着这些议论,心里不住地翻腾。能扯到阶级斗争上去吗?当然是气话。真的是人熊,干活顶不上去吗?也不全对。他总觉得大伙没说到真正的原因上去。是没有看到?还是不肯那么认识?他想引导大家从自己身上找找原因,就说:“咱这五个人,除我过了 50岁,30上下的多,就是汉周也才46,正是庄稼人下カ气干活的好时候。可这些年咱们都咋干的呢?我是党小组长, 我清楚。你们也不傻,能不知道?不讲别人,就说我吧。自个儿觉得年纪大了,在村子里边,没有功劳还有苦劳,如今两个儿子在城里工作,活泛钱儿多,光自留地ー年就收四石粮。自家日子过好了,就想当老太爷享清福了,管大家的事少了,地也不下了,不像个共产党员。今天会上的事,我有责任,我对不起党……” Different people had different opinions. Their discussions churned Wang Cai's heart, making him hard to calm down. Could it be something about class struggle? Angry words, of course. Were we not capable to work? Not exactly. He always felt that everyone was not getting to the point. Didn't they see it? Or were they unwilling to think that way? To guide everyone to find reasons from themselves, Wang Cai said, “Except for me, who is over 50 years old, the other 4 are around 30. Hanzhou is only 46. We have strength. And It's a good time for us to work in the fields. But what have we done over the years? I am the leader of the party group. I know clearly about that. You are clever. You all know clearly, too. Just take myself as an example. In the village, I rely on my age. Thinking that even if I have no merit, I at least deserve credit for efforts. Now, my two sons are working in the city so that there is more disposable money. And I can earn 400 jins of grain from private plots every year. When my family is better off, I want to enjoy a happy life. Therefore, I rarely mind others' business, and don't cultivate in the fields, which is not like a communist any more. I'm responsible for what happened at today's meeting. I'm sorry for the party..."

老王オ这ー说,其他人都合拉下眼皮。荣凤春年轻,受不了这话,赶紧说:“你老上岁数了,要怪得怪我们年轻的。我复员回来,庄稼活生了,好当甩手队长,对人态度又不好,挺横的。我结婚以后那阵,听社员有反映,说我穿得溜光水滑,骑个小车,见天嘤儿嘤儿的,东跑ー趟,西颠ー趟,干拿补贴工分,当时我还有情绪。把我队长选掉了,也不是滋味。如今看,这不是给党抹了黑吗！”小伙子说着,流下了眼泪。 Hearing that, everyone lowered their eyelids. The young Rong Chunfeng couldn't stand this, and quickly said, "You're the elder. It’s us young people that are to blame. When I demobilized and came back, the crops were alive. As the captain of production, I made no contributions and was not friendly to people. After I got married, some commune member sneaked on me, saying that I dashed here and there, dressed well, rode a car and flattered others every day, but got work points as they did. It made me unhappy at that time. And I felt upset when someone took the place of me to be the captain of production. Now, I realized that I had discredited the party," said the young man with tears.

这ー来,大伙都检讨开了。有说因为嫌前勤太累,甘心当了保管员的;有说年纪轻轻却操起鞭杆子当小猪馆的;有说利手利脚却不爱再下田的。是啊,我们这几个党员,除去淑梅都当过兵,都当过生产队长,人人能说会道,可就是有一点,马列主义是专冲别人的,把“为中国人民和世界人民谋利益”变成为自己个人谋利益了。 In this case, people all began to examine themselves. Some said that he was willing to be a storekeeper because the front work was too tiring. Some said that he chose to be a swineherd at a young age. Some said he didn't like to cultivate in the fields though he was efficient with strong arms and legs. Well, except for Shumei, we had all served as soldiers and worked as the captain of production. Everyone had a glib tongue. However, there was one point: Marxism-Leninism was specifically beneficial to people. We had diverted from "seeking benefits for Chinese people and the people of the world" to "seeking benefits for ourselves".

“见椅子歇腿,见酒盅开胃,千里马也架不住恋栈。谁能拥护恋栈的千里马?” 见大家说得差不多了,王オ总结似的说,“我们党员啥时候变得这样了呢?”他在沉思中,想鼓励同志们几句话,但是找不到适当的词儿。他努力回想着当年在战场上遇到这种情况的时候,班长或连长是怎么鼓励自己的。他终于没有想起来。当年的共产党人似乎没经历过这种失败。当年的共产党人,在人民群众中,如鱼在水, 如鸟在林,从来没有听说过被人民群众抛弃不管的事。屡闻不鲜的,倒是老大娘或大嫂子、大伯和大哥们,有时甚至还有刚懂一点人们善恶的小嘎子和小闺女,为了保护ー个党员,宁可在敌人的皮鞭和棍棒下血肉横飞,宁可被烧了房子,填了水井, 有时甚至不惜满村老幼面对敌人喷火的机枪ロ,也绝不肯让党员同志受半点伤害。而我们的党员,也可以随时随地,为了人民的利益,极端自觉地献出自己的一切,乃至生命。党是人民的心,人民是党的命。 Seeing that everyone was almost finished, Wang Cai summed it up, "See a chair, and have a rest. See a wine cup, and start drinking. Even a winged steed will be reluctant to leave the post station where it rests. But who will sing the praises of such a winged steed? When did our party members degenerate like this? "In contemplation, Wang Cai wanted to encourage his comrades with a few words, but failed to find the right words. He tried to recall how his squad leader or company commander encouraged him when they encountered this situation on the battlefield. He finally failed. The Communists of those years hadn’t experienced this kind of failure. At that time, they were like a fish in the water and a bird in the forest among the masses. Never had anyone heard of the communists being abandoned by the masses. On the contrary, it was often heard that grannies, grandpas, brothers and even little children who had just learned a little knowledge about good and evil would rather suffer under the enemy's whips and sticks, lose their houses and wells, and sometimes even put the whole village, old and young, under the enemy's fire-breathing muzzle than let our party members suffer from any harms. At the same time, our party members would also extremely consciously give everything they had, even their lives, at any time and in any place for the benefits of the people. The party was the heart of the people, and the people were the life of the party.

但是现在,我们五个共产党员不受欢迎了。 But now, we five communists were not welcomed.

怨谁?怪谁?…… Who was to blame?...

在这寒冷的冬天的午夜里,在这间孤零零的小土房的暖烘烘的火炕上,中国共产党的ー个小组,以前所未有的郑重态度,讨论着这样ー个极其严肃的课题:我们共产党人在群众中间的位置。这是何等发人深思的课题呀!月挂中天,星汉灿烂, 大盐碱滩上闪耀着雪ー样的色彩。那是使人望而生厌的涩碱,还是月轮的明洁的光辉? With an unprecedented solemnity, one group of our Communist Party of CPC discussed such a topic of extreme seriousness-the position of our communists among the masses, on the warm heated-bed of this lonely small earthen house and in the midnight of this cold winter. What a thought-provoking topic! The moon had already hung in the middle of the sky. The stars were shining brightly, and the big salt beach was sprinkling with snow-like colors. Was it the light of the unpleasant astringent alkali, or the bright and pure brilliance of the moon?

三星歪了,夜已过半,中共三门李四队党小组的讨论得出了一个重要结论:不是群众冷落了我们,而是我们辜负了群众。不是人民不要我们这些共产党员了,而是我们不怎么像共产党员了。 It was halfway through the night. An important conclusion came to the 4th production team of Sanmen Li of the CPC, that is, it was not the masses who abandoned us, it was us who failed the masses. It was not that the people didn't want us communists, but that we weren't like communists any more.

我们怎么办?就此躺倒吗?沉沦下去吗?不,我们从哪里跌倒就还从哪里爬起来! What could we do? Should we keep lying down and sinking down? No, we should get up from wherever we fell!

我们共产党人要做什么样的榜样

What Kind of Example Should We Communists Set

分组第二天的黎明时分,ー个惊人的消息飞快地在村里传开了:党员们自己插旗建组了。 At dawn of the next day, an astonishing news quickly spread through the village: party members had planted their own flag and formed a group.

这个消息立即在村里引起了各种议论。ー些人点头称是:“这样好,谁也不沾谁的,谁也不拐谁的。”有人把这意思就说得刻薄些:“党员们也该自个儿劳动养活自个儿了。”ー些老年人却觉得过意不去了。他们想起了党员的种种好处,办事公道啊,爱帮助人啊,肯自己吃亏啊,对老年人有礼节啊。缺点是有,特别是这些年, 可谁没有缺点呢?再好的马也有失前蹄的时候,就一个也不要人家?他们便埋怨起那些分组的积极分子来了。 Discussions were immediately triggered in the village. Some nodded, "That's good. It's beneficial to everyone. "Some expressed this idea more harshly: "Party members should also work on their own to support themselves." While some elderly people felt apologetic. They remembered the merits of party members-they were fair in handling affairs, ready to help others, willing to suffer losses themselves and very polite to the elder. In recent years, they did have setbacks. But who could be perfect? Even the best horse might stumble. Should we abandon them all? Then, they complained about those who had been extremely active when grouping.

但也还有一个人很高兴。那是个老病号,本村的头等穷户,长得小身板像麻秆儿似的,小脸蛋像鸡蛋壳似的,只能放放猪,不能上趟子（下地）。他叫戴洪元。在那晚的分组会上,他曾经很兴奋地自报:“我参加王占河组。” To the dismay of some and the delight of others. One was very happy about that. He was Dai Hongyuan, a man who had been long on the sick list and classified as the first-class poor household in the village. With a small body and a smooth face, he could do nothing but herd pigs. At the group meeting that night, he once excitedly declared himself, "I join the Wang Zhanhe group."

“我们人够了。”王组的人赶紧说。 Hearing that, the man from Wang's group hurriedly said, "We've got enough people."

“那我报田富那组。”戴洪元有自知之明,因此很能将就,他的意思是有个组就行。 "Then I join the group of Tian Fu." With self-knowledge, Dai could make do with it. What he wanted was to join a group.

“我们再要就多了。”那组的人也赶紧声明。 "We don't want any more," the man from Tian's group also declared.

戴洪元干翻白眼说不出话来。现在ー听党员单独成立了作业组,他赶紧跑回家,让孩子从南大甸子喊回了正在搂毛柴的妻子,然后紧紧闩上门,夫妻两个紧张地商量起来了。他的妻子——跟他青梅竹马、安贫乐处的苦难伴侣——边从头发上往下摘草棍,边听他说话。很快地,ー个再庄严不过的家庭决议形成了:报名入党员这组。戴洪元飞起两条细腿,小脸兴奋得通红。他找党小组长王才了,他很有信心。 Dai Hongyuan couldn’t utter a word. Therefore, the moment Dai heard the news that the party members had set up a group themselves, he rushed home and sent his child to call back his mom who was collecting firewood in Nandadianzi. With the door tightly bolted, the couple had a nervous discussion. His wife, who grew up with him, was his companion in distress and happiness. As she listened to him, she plucked the straw stick from her hair. Soon, a solemn family resolution was formed: to sign up for the group of party members. Flushed with excitement and full of hope, Dai hongyuan dashed out to find Wang Cai, the leader of the party group.

这个戴洪元,3岁上被卖到戴家,如今47了,既不知道自己是从哪儿来的,也不知道父母往哪儿去了。他在贫困的境遇中挣扎着长大。25岁那年,他得了一次严重的肠梗阻病,在四平和长春住了三个月医院。有21天,滴水不进,全靠打葡萄糖活命。结账的时候,总共花掉了1600多元钱,都是集体给报销了。他总说:“我没有亲人,共产党就是我的亲人。我从小没娘,共产党就是我的亲娘。”划分作业组的会上,他寻思自己跟王家组是亲戚（他的养母姓王）,跟冷家组是儿女亲家,哪组还能不要?可就偏偏哪组也没要。“谁要他那个累赘!”有的人说。这回他来找共产党员王オ了,眼泪汪汪的,他喊:“三舅（他论的是屯亲,其实并非真的甥舅关系）,我要参加你们党员这组。别人不要我,我跟共产党,共产党不能把我扔了吧?” Dai Hongyuan, who was sold to the Dai family at the age of 3, was now 47. He knew neither where he came from nor where his parents were. In poverty, he managed to grow up. When he was 25, he suffered from a severe intestinal obstruction which forced him to stay in the hospital in Siping and Changchun for three months. For 21 days, he drank nothing and lived only by glucose. When it was time to check out, a total of more than 1,600 yuan was spent. It was the collective that reimbursed him for the expenses. Being grateful, he always said, "I have no relatives. The Communist Party is my relatives. I have been left motherless since I was a little child, and the Communist Party is my mother." At the meeting of grouping, he thought every group would accept him because he was the relative of the Wang family group (his adoptive mother's surname was Wang) and in laws with the Leng family group. However, the truth was that no group wanted him. Someone said, "He is a burden. Who wants him? " This time he came and sought help from Wang Cai, the member of the Communist Party. With tears in his eyes, he shouted: "Uncle (the relationship he is talking about is formed because they live in the same tun. They are not in a real relationship of nephew and uncle), I want to join your group of party members. Others abandoned me. I follow the leadership of the Communist Party. The Communist Party won't give me up, will it?"

虽然来的是一个半残疾人,王オ也很感动,他觉得这时候来找他入组,是ー种支持,是ー种鼓励,也是ー种信任,就赶紧说:“要是你不嫌乎,就来吧。我们吃干的,不能叫你喝稀的就是了。”戴洪元很自卑,他吭吭哧哧地说:“我顶不上个好半拉子,要了我,你们就得少打粮。”王オ说:“放心,一粒也不兴少打的,还要比他们那两个组打得多。往年,我们党员没把劲使到生产上,光练嘴皮子了,教训了别人, 自个儿不咋的,对不起乡亲了。今年,我们要把劲别过来。党员都下了决心,要在发展生产上起先锋作用,把我们作业组办成全公社第一等的。今年我们党员要出这个风头,哪怕先烂呢,也非当这个出头椽子不可。我们要拼命了,你不嫌累,就来吧。” Although Dai was semi-disabled, Wang Cai was moved, regarding his participation as a kind of support, encouragement and trust. Therefore, he hurriedly said, "Come if you don’t mind. You'll have whatever we have. " Dai’s self-abasement triggered him to say hesitatingly, " I'm not as capable as a minor. If you accept me, your group will produce less food. "Wang Cai replied, "Don’t worry. There will be no less grain, and we will produce more grains than the other two groups. In previous years, our party members did not focus on production, but only practiced our tongue twisters and taught others. We feel sorry because we didn’t set a good example. This year, we have totally changed. All of us have made up minds to play a pioneering role in the development of production and organize our work group into the first class of the entire commune. Our party members have determined to do this! We are going to try our best. Come if you don’t mind. "

这以后,他们还另外吸收了两户没人要的职工家属,正式组成了作业组。大队党支部批准了他们的组成,同时把这几个组按顺序划定为第一、二、三作业组。但是三门李的庄稼人自有他们独特的命名法。他们把以王姓为主的称作“王组”,把以冷姓为主的喊为“冷组”,而把以党员为主的这个组,别出心裁地叫作“党组”。 After that, they also recruited two other worker family members who hadn’t joined a group. The work group was formally set up and was admitted by the party branch of the brigade which named these three groups orderly as the first、second and third work group. However, Sanmen Li's farm people had their own way of naming. They referred to the group with the majority of members surnamed Wang as the "Wang Group". By the same token, the group with the majority of members surnamed Leng was named as the "Leng Group”. While the group dominated by party members was creatively called the "Party Group".

啊,“党组” !这是亲切的称呼,还是包含有某种揶揄? Well, was "Party Group" a kind address, or did it contain some kind of ridicule?

总之,“党组”的旗帜就这样打起来了,最年轻的党员荣凤春抖擞精神,就任了第一任组长。好心人替他们捏把汗。有人给算了一下,论人头,他们组能有十几个人干活,其中除了三个党员是中青年以外,还有一个病号、三个老头、ー个半拉子、六个小姑娘,忙的时候还可以动员起来五个家庭妇女（其中包括两个老太太）。年龄最大的74岁,最小的16岁。这样,他们就集中了全村的老弱残兵。而另外那两个组则全是一色棒劳力。怪不得有爱凑热闹的人给编出顺口溜来:“‘王组’ 强, ‘冷组’棒, ‘党组’ 真够呛!”另有好心人替他们发愁说:“到秋天, ‘党组’这台戏可咋唱?”戏是可以唱的,事实上,自从“党组”正式组成那一刻起,这台戏已经开唱了。他们不怕拖累,肯于吸收残疾人戴洪元和没有劳カ的职工家属入组,显示了共产党人克己为人的宽广胸怀,赢得了善良的庄稼人的敬佩。现在,他们又克服劳力不强的困难,送齐了粪,虽然是跟头把式,连跑带颠干的。 Anyway, the flag of "Party Group" was up. Rong Fengchun, the youngest party members, braced himself and took office to be the first leader. Some well-wisher felt anxious for them because the "Party Group" contained a dozen of people, but there were only a few who were able to work. Except for three party members who were young or middle-aged, there was a patient, three elderly men, one who wasn't as capable as a minor, and six little girls. In the midst of a busy time, five housewives (including two old ladies) could also be mobilized. Among them, the oldest was 74 years old，while the youngest was 16 years old. It could be said that they had gathered the weak people of the whole village. On the contrary, members in other two groups were all first-class labors. No wonder there were rubber neckers who made up a jingle,” ‘Wang Group' is powerful, ‘Leng Group' is great, while 'Party Group' is in trouble!” Another well-wisher worriedly said, "How can 'Party Group' put on a show when fall comes? " Actually, it could put on a good show. And the show had begun the moment the Party Group was formally formed. They were not afraid of dragging themselves down, and were willing to recruit Dai Hongyuan, a disabled person, and the worker family members who weren't able to work, showing their broad-mindedness of communists who denied themselves to serve others, and thus winning the admiration of kind farm people. Now, laboriously and hurriedly, they had solved the problem of labor shortage and manure deficiency.

“党组”真正经受考验是在春播时节。 It was the spring sowing season when the "Party Group “was really under test.

严冬过去了。春风在人们的期待中染绿了柳树的梢头。大盐碱滩也在这里和那里悄悄地冒出一点绿芽儿。绿芽儿渐渐连缀起来,颜色由浅而深,阳光一晃,好像是在大地上镶嵌着一片片翡翠叶子。东辽河的坚冰解冻了,大车路过这里,牲口也总要停下来喝几口清凉甘洌的水,然后昂首向天,唳唳地叫几声再走。在土屋里闷了一冬天的老人们也走出来了,扶着柳条栅子,干活舒活筋骨,眯起眼,长久地望着蓝天上的雁阵。春天来了,有的是希望,有的是时间。三门李人豪兴十足,他们要在80年代第一春里,大干一场了。 The harsh winter was over. Within everyone's expectations, spring breeze dyed the willow tree's tips. The large salt flats also witnessed little green buds quietly sprout here and there. As the buds grew, their leaves were gradually connected and colors changed from light to dark. When the sunlight flickered, the earth seemed to be inlaid with jade leaves. At the same time, the solid ice of the East Liaohe River thawed. When livestock passed here, it would always stop to drink some cool and sweet water, raise head to the sky, and bellow a few times before leaving. The old people, who had been stuffy in earthen houses for a winter, also came out. Holding the wicker fence, they worked to stretch their muscles. Sometimes, they squinted their eyes, gazing at the geese array in the blue sky for a long time. When spring came, there were hope and time. Sanmen Li’s people were excited, and ready to do a great job in the first spring of the 80s.

三个作业组撒开人马,进到芳香的田野里。就像有人预言“党组”一春天送不齐粪那样,现在又有人预言他们的地要种不上了。当此时机,党小组长王才挺着高大的身躯下地来了。他抓起一把湿土,使劲攥着,宣誓似的说:“我不当舒服老爷子了,豁上这把骨头,干吧!”他早年生活不安定,落下个胃痉挛的毛病,一犯就疼得打滚。这时候,他就带着药瓶子下地,病犯了就吞一片药。每天,他第一个在朦朦胧胧的曙色升起以前就起来,挨家叫醒自己组的同志,踩着早霜下地。往年种拉拉稀苞米,今年他提出种单株密。他拄个小棍,在前边踩格子,不用度量,不用计算,一步ー个脚印,步间恰好45厘米,好像他的脚上天然就带着ー个电动钢卷尺似的。整个播种期间,他就是这样在走,十五垧苞米地,都是这么样走出来的。每天平均要走两万多米。但这不是在平坦的大路上悠闲散步,而是在疏松的垄台上,深ー脚浅一脚,来来去去毫不变样地走。东辽河边上,既无山又无树,风沙很大,有时刮得人平地摔跟头,何况在一条窄窄的松土垄台上。风沙难撼志士身。共产党员王オ就这样ー步步向前走着。在他的身后,是“党组”的同志们。 Three work groups were spread into the fragrant fields. Just as it was predicted that the "Party Group" would not be able to deliver sufficient manure in the spring, it was now predicted that their land would not be well-planted. At this moment, Wang Cai, the leader of the party group, who was big and tall, went to the fields. He grabbed hard a handful of wet soil, and said as if under oath，"I will get out of my comfort zone, and try my best to do it!" He lived an unsettled life in early years, ending up with stomach cramps that made him sometimes roll around in pain. Therefore, he brought medicine with him in case his old disease recurred. Every day, he was the first to get up before the hazy dawn rose. And then he woke up his group members with whom he went to the fields in the morning frost. In previous years, sparse corns were planted. This year, he proposed that single plant should be densely planted. Leaning on a small stick, he stepped on the grid (an agricultural activity in northern China) in front of him. With no need of measurement or calculation, the distance between his footsteps was exactly 45 centimeters, which was as precise as an electric steel tape measure. By doing so ,15 hectares of cornfield were sowed in seedtime. And it took an average of more than 20,000 meters a day. But this was not a leisurely walk on the flat road, but a walk deep and shallow on the loose ridge, coming and going with no change. On the edge of the East Liaohe River, there were neither mountains nor trees, making it so windy and sandy that sometimes people would fall on the ground, let alone on a narrow ridge of loose soil. Even so, wind and sand couldn’t shake him at all. Wang Cai, the Communist Party member walked forward step by step. Behind him were the comrades of the "Party Group."

王汉周是负责滤粪的。他从河北迁来没有几年。河北不是这样干活的。一方风土,一方活计。到哪随哪。但这些年他没有好好学活计,如今不会使巧劲就只好使笨劲,汗流满面地苦干不歇。荣凤春一春天没穿他那身油光水滑的新郎官礼服了,他早换上了从部队带回来的草绿色军装。经过春风和汗水的漂白,军装很快地褪色了,ー张年轻英俊的脸也变得黧黑。他的媳妇心疼丈夫,偷着宰了一只老母鸡,炖上了她在娘家时候拣的油蘑。动筷子的时候,荣凤春对妻子说:“不用宰鸡, 我累不垮,力气在心里边呢,使也使不完。”那个本来还很年轻,却被称作“老倭瓜, 不起面了”的刘清洲,是除了王オ以外最能起大早的ー个了。他是怀德十八中的毕业生,说话好讲个遣词造句。“清洲哥,真早啊!”“这也叫物极必反了。”他笑一笑说,“以前我是上工没一天不迟到的,现在不早点就达不到新的平衡啦。” Wang Hanzhou, who moved here from Hebei only a few years ago, was responsible for filtering manure. Though farm people in Hebei province didn’t work like this, when in Rome do as the Romans do. The problem was that these years he hadn't acquired skills well, and now he had to work clumsily with sweats all over his face. It had been a spring that Rong Fengchun changed his greasy groom’s dress into the grass-green military uniform which he had brought back from the army. With the bleaching of spring breeze and sweat, the uniform soon faded and his face, which had been young and handsome, also became swarthy. His daughter-in-law was so distressed by him that she secretly slaughtered an old hen and stewed with the oil mushrooms which she had picked up at her mother's house. When they began to eat, Rong Fengchun said to his wife, "There is no need to kill the chicken in that I am full of strength and not exhausted. " Except for Wang Cai, Liu Qingzhou, who was very young but was called "Old boogeyman”, was the one who could get up early. As a graduate of Huaide 18th High School, Liu paid attention to the choice of words and building of sentences. When someone greeted him, " Brother Qingzhou, you got up so early. " He would smile a little and say, " A thing turns into its opposite if pushed too far. I used to be late for work every day. Now, only by getting up early every day can I reach a new balance."

在春耕的紧张时刻,“党组”成员的家属们也都来了。那可真是有人出人,有力出力,出不了力的也来站脚助威。其中有小媳妇,有小学生,还有一位须发如霜、矮小驼背、身子几乎弯成一个圆圈的老人,那是王汉周74岁的爹爹。这些家属,他们有儿子、父亲、丈夫或哥哥“在党”。这些“在党”的亲人今年面临着ー场严峻的考验。这场考验的成败似乎也和他们命运攸关。他们嘴上不说,但人人心里想的都是这个。“捧我们‘党组’！”这好像成了他们不言自明的行动ロ号。别组是ー个点种的和一人滤粪的,他们至少有两个点种的和两个滤粪的。ー副犁杖后边,常常跟着一大串人。他们好像不是在种地,而是在和他们的亲人ー起,从事一种神圣的事业。这事业绝不是单纯用工分和经济效益所能表示的。这使他们的精神变得异常专注,情绪变得分外高涨。而人在精神专注和情绪高涨的时候,往往能做出平时做不出的事情来。今年,他们的地就种得又快又好又精细,一点也不像我们北方习惯的大犁划沟、大把扬籽的粗拉拉的干法。 At the intense moment of spring planting, the families of "Party Group" were also present to help. Those with strength lent a helping hand, those without strength also came to cheer them up. Among them were young daughters-in-law, elementary school students, and an aged man with frosty hair and short stature, his body almost bent in a circle due to his hunchback. The man was exactly Wang Hanzhou’s father, who was already 74 years old. These families had sons, fathers, husbands or elder brothers "in the party". And their relatives who were "in the party" were facing a tough test this year. The result of this test seemed to be related to their fate. Though they didn’t say it, it was on everyone’s mind. "Support the Party Group" seemed to be their self-evident guidance of action. In other groups, one was responsible for dibbling, the other was in charge of manure-filtrating. While in the " Party Group", there were at least two spot seeders and two manure filters. It could often be seen that a large group of people followed the plough stick. As if they were not farming, but with their relatives, engaged in a sacred cause, which was by no means expressed simply by the division of labor and economic benefits. This made them extremely focused and emotionally high. In this event, they could often do something that they normally couldn’t. This year, their land was planted quickly, well and finely, not at all like the rough method of ploughing and seeding that we were accustomed to in the north.

这一年的春播,三门李四队的三个作业组上了劲,エ效大为提高。去年种地, 全队用了一个月工夫。今年分组,15天就干净利索地完成了。 This year, three work group of the 4th production team of Sanmen Li all made great contributions to the spring sowing, making work efficiency greatly improved. Last year, it took the whole production team a month to cultivate. Thanks to this year’s grouping, it was completed cleanly in 15 days.

好雨知时节。慈爱的大自然母亲也为自己的儿女们及时地助了一臂之カ。春播刚完,ー场春雨就落下来了。种子发芽,小苗拱土,田野一派绿色。沈春书记组织了一次全大队的苗情检查,有大队干部、生产队干部和各作业组长参加。他们沿着本大队的地面巡视,发现哪块地的苗齐苗全苗壮,哪里的苗色发绿发黑,那就一定是“党组”的。“你看人家‘党组’种那地,地头地尾扔,没ー埯缺苗的。”“王组” 和“冷组”的人说,有点佩服了。 Good rain knows the season. The loving mother nature also helped her children in a timely manner. Just after the spring sowing, a spring rain fell. The seeds sprouted, and the seedlings arched the soil, making the fields green all over. Joined by cadres of the brigade, cadres of the production team and leaders of various operation teams, Secretary Shen Chun organized a team-wide inspection to see the seedling of the whole brigade. They patrolled along the ground of the brigade, finding that the lands which were cultivated by the "Party Group" were flush with green and black seedlings. People from "Wang Group" and "Leng Group" said with a little admiration, " The whole land planted by the "Party Group" was not short of seedlings."

见苗三分喜。“党组”更来情绪了。“王组”和“冷组”不敢怠慢,赶紧补苗。 “‘党组’呛上了,向你们学习!”他们中的一些人诚恳地说。 Seeing the well-grown seedlings, the "Party Group" worked more vigorously. At the same time, "Wang Group" and "Leng Group" didn’t dare to slack, hurrying up to fill the gaps with seedlings. Some of them said sincerely, " the "Party Group" set a good example for us!"

“‘党组’的苗太密,以后怕不能结棒,要吃甜秆儿。”他们中的另一些人也是诚恳地说。 Some of them were also sincere in saying, "'Party Group' seedlings are too dense. I’m afraid that there will be no fruit but sweet stalks. "

果然,不几天以后,“党组”满地的青苗泛黄了。这是脱肥了。为今之计,就是要赶紧追肥。化肥最赶劲。荣凤春组长火急奔往公社求援。公社机关立刻紧张起来。他们一直在关注着“党组”的命运啊! “你们这几个人代表着全公社的党员。” 这是十屋公社党委书记的话。岂止全公社,就连县委的书记、地委的部长,心都被牵拽着啊!公社很想给“党组”吃一点偏食,可惜手头并没有化肥。十屋公社党委书记亲自出马,去友邻毛城子公社请求支援。毛城子ー听是三门李“党组”需要, 也紧张起来。“他们这个‘党组’也代表我们这些党员啊!”这是毛城子公社党委书记的话。他们立刻从自己手头分出了六吨硝氨。 Sure enough. A few days later, the seedlings of "Party Group" were defertilized and turned yellow. For now, the first thing they needed to do was to topdress. Fertilizers were the most urgent. Therefore, group leader Rong Fengchun rushed to the commune for help, which made the authorities immediately become nervous. They had been paying attention to the fate of the "Party Group”. “You guys represent the members of the entire commune." These were the words of the party secretary of the Shiwu Commune. Not only the entire commune, even the secretary of the county party committee and the minister of the prefectural party committee were very concerned about it! The commune really wanted to treat the "Party Group" favorably, but unfortunately did not have fertilizers. Therefore, the party secretary of the Shiwu Commune went to the neighboring Mao Chengzi Commune to ask for support. On hearing that Sanmen Li "Party Group" needed help, Mao Chengzi Commune also got nervous. "'The Party Group' also represents our party members!" These were what the party secretary of Mao Chengzi Commune had said. They immediately gave six tons of ammonium nitrate to the "Party Group".

硝氨拉回来了,“王组”和“冷组”眼巴巴地看着。这当ロ追化肥,可真追到点子上了。“到底是‘党组’有党撑腰。咱这没有党员的老百姓组,可成了后娘的孩子了。”他们这样想着。 The "Wang Group" and "Leng Group" looked blearily at the ammonium nitrate pulled back. Now was the time to replenish fertilizer. Members of other groups thought, "After all, it is the 'Party Group' that has the backing of the party. Our groups have no party members, and will not be treated fairly. "

与此同时,“党组”也在想:共产党员能吃独食吗?我们能做那种光顾自己、不管群众的事吗?好事都归我,见便宜就抢,这是我们共产党员的风格吗?不,不是。我们宁可少打点粮,多吃点亏,也不能把党的性质改了。三一三十一吧。六吨硝氨,ー组两吨,平均分下去了。这不是送化肥,是送成吨的粮食啊!这不是送粮食, 是送去了党的传统啊! “王组”和“冷组”大为震动。庄稼人心肠软,受一点好处就不得了,何况是紧关节的时候成吨的化肥,他们的心和党员的心往一块贴了。 At the same time, "Party Group" was also thinking: Can communists monopolize benefits? Can we do the kind of thing that patronizes ourselves but ignores the masses? Is this the style of our communists to take advantage of anything? Definitely not. We would rather grow less grain and suffer more losses than change the nature of the party. It’s better to divide it into three equal parts. And then six tons of ammonium nitrate were divided equally, two tons per group. It was not a delivery of fertilizer; it was a delivery of tons of grain! It was not sending food; it was sending the party's tradition! The "Wang Group" and the "Leng Group" were greatly shaken. The farm people were soft-hearted and would be very grateful for a little benefit, not to mention tons of fertilizer sent at critical times. Their hearts and the hearts of Party members were stuck together.

“嗯,三门李党小组,有点像那么个样子了。”十屋公社党委书记听到这件事, 点头说。 Hearing this, the party secretary of Shiwu Commune nodded and said, "the Sanmen Li 'Party Group' is kind of presentable. "

“党组”把追肥的活包给了妇女。王淑梅动员起了五个家庭妇女,其中包括王才的老伴和荣凤春的老妈。妇女们干活心细,又不糊弄,组里是放心的。往年追化肥是拿锄头,直着腰板刨坑,大把抓肥往下扔;今年,“党组”妇女们ー改常规,拿小木棍扎眼,用汤匙舀肥,弯下腰,一点一点往眼里放,就像给自个心疼的孩子喂奶。农村妇女生活条件艰苦,家务负担重,不少人都有难治的痼疾。荣凤春的妈妈年轻时生过ー对双胞胎,落下个病,俩肩膀总是酸疼酸疼的。王淑梅有肾炎,这些日子正犯病,两条腿浮肿,ー按ー个坑,半天不下去。可她们都坚持着干。在她们的丈夫和儿子面前,她们从来不说ー个累字、苦字、疼字,她们汗水淋漓的脸上总是挂着笑容——只有在劳作不息而又家庭和美的劳动妇女的脸上オ会有的那种笑容。到晚回到家里,男人们能蹲着或坐下抽支烟,揉揉腰腿,她们却还要趴在灶门脸前烧火,忙忙地淘米做饭。火光映着她们的脸膛,烟气熏着她们的眼睛,而她们粗心的丈夫和儿子总是很难发现她们的手和腿是在颤抖着的。这样ー干就是多少天,她们到底抢在雨前,追完了全组的地。 The "Party Group" contracted topdressing to women. Wang Shumei mobilized five housewives, including Wang Cai's wife and Rong Fengchun's mother. The women worked carefully and did not fool around so that the "Party Group" rested assured. In previous years, people top-dressed with their backs straight, digging holes with hoes, and then throwing down lots of fertilizer. This year, the women of the "Party Group" changed their routine. They used small wooden sticks to create holes, and spoons to scoop up the fertilizer. With their backs bent, they put fertilizer into the holes little by little, just like feeding their own beloved children. Rural women lived a tough life and were burdened with household chores, many of whom suffered from chronic illnesses that were difficult to treat. When Rong Fengchun's mother was young, she gave birth to twins. After that, her shoulders were always sore. Wang Shumei had nephritis. These days, she was suffering from it, with her both legs severely swollen. However, they all insisted on topdressing. They never complained in front of their husbands and sons. Their sweaty face always wore a smile that could only be found on the face of working women who worked tirelessly and had a beautiful family. When they returned home at night, men could squat or sit down to smoke a cigarette and rub their backs and legs. Women had to stay in front of the stove to burn the fire, busy panning rice and cooking. The fire shone in their faces, the smoke in their eyes, and their careless husbands and sons never noticed that their wives’ hands and legs were trembling. After many days of doing this, they finally rushed before the rain and top-dressed the whole group's ground.

转眼也就到了铲地的时候。三门李地方地多人少,铲地ー向是北大荒干法,大夹板锄,两条胳膊悠开了,粗干毛橹,形同赛跑,轰轰隆隆,眨眼之间一大片地就完了,铲下来多少草就算多少草。河北人王汉周初来这里干活时很不适应。他的老家就在万里长城脚下,离秦皇岛不到ー百里。那里铲地的方法有点奇怪,最大特点是往后边退着铲。而且铲得非常精细,因为土地少、人口多,绝不肯伤ー棵苗,就像大姑娘绣花ー样。王汉周来到三门李铲地,冷不丁由往后退改为向前进,觉得十分诧异,不仅干得很笨很慢,而且铲着铲着就又身不由己地往后边退了起来,引起人们ー阵阵哄笑。加上他的口音太特别,这里的庄稼人又太好奇,听他把“昨天”喊成“夜个”,把“肚子饿了”叫成“肚子卧了”,无论小闺女和老头子都得笑出眼泪来。有些淘气的小媳妇和大姑娘爱没深拉浅地闹,远远见了他,总要停下步子,尖起嗓子,ー齐大喊:“姐夫（谁知道从哪家宗亲论的）,夜个你肚子卧了没?”这样一来二去,王汉周就不爱上前勤去了。 Soon it was time for shoveling. Sanmen Li had more place but fewer people. Therefore, when shoveling, people used to take the method adopted in the Great Northern Wilderness (in northeast China). With Two arms quickly wielding the hoe, people soon shoveled the grass of a field. Wang Hanzhou, a native of Hebei, was like a fish out of water when he first came to work here. His hometown was at the foot of the Great Wall, less than a hundred miles away from Qinhuangdao. Their way of shoveling was a little bit strange, and the main feature was to shovel backwards. Considering that there were less land and more people, they finely shoveled the land just like a girl embroidering flowers, unwilling to hurt a seedling. In Sanmen Li, people shoveled the land forward instead of backwards, which surprised Wang Hanzhou. He worked slowly and clumsily. Sometimes, he would habitually retreat when shoveling, causing people to burst into laughter. In addition, his accent was too special, and the farm people here were too curious. Hearing him call "zuotian" as "zuoge", "duziele" as "duziwole", both the little girl and the old man burst into tears with laughter. Some naughty little daughters-in-law and big girls liked to make fun of him. When they saw him from afar, they would always stop and shout: "Brother-in-law (who knows how they are related), yegeniduziwolemei?"In this way, Wang Hanzhou didn’t like to do the front work.

但王汉周也有他的好处。今年“党组”铲地要求质量,就是要保全苗、锄净草, “种十成保十成”，“丰收年不收无苗田”呀。这正是河北铲地法的优势所在。王汉周有用武之地了。他下了地,除了仍对向前进感到有些别扭而外,他那种精细劲, 那种认真的态度,那种ー苗不伤的精神,都叫人打心眼里佩服。素来被人判为“不会铲地”的王汉周成为打头的了。ー帮年轻人都跟他学,铲得又细,搂得又深。三门李因此出现了新的铲地法。等到沈春书记又带人来检查夏锄情况的时候,看了 “党组”的地,他和检查组的人无不点头赞叹,说是这样的地铲一遍顶两遍了。 However, Wang Hanzhou had his benefits. This year, the "Party Group" required that the shoveling must ensure quality, preserve seedlings and hoe the grass clean. They promoted "to preserve all that have been planted “, and" to ensure harvest in harvest years. " This was precisely the advantage of the Hebei shoveling method. Therefore, Wang Hanzhou had chances to develop his strengths. When he went to the fields, his delicacy, earnestness, indomitable spirit, were all admirable, except that he still felt a little awkward about hoeing forward. Wang Hanzhou, who had always been judged to be "unable to shovel the ground", became the leader. A group of young people learnt from him to shovel finely and deeply. Thus, Sanmen Li emerged a new method of shoveling. When Secretary Shen Chun brought the inspection team to check the situation of summer- hoeing, the land hoed by "Party Group" won unanimous praise, saying that they shoveled the ground twice as efficiently as others.

我们共产党人好比种子

We Communists Are Like Seeds

满地庄稼比赛似的蓬蓬勃勃长起来了。大盐碱滩已经为一片壮观的青纱帐所覆盖。“党组”的庄稼继续拔尖,丰收已成定局。人们的态度也慢慢变过来了。但是“党组”仍旧战战兢兢,不敢有半点松懈。 Crops all over the ground were growing as if they were having a competition with each other. At this time, the large saline-alkali beach also had been covered by a spectacular green vegetation. The crops of "Party Group" continued to be top-notch, and a bumper harvest was a foregone conclusion, which contributed to the shift of people’s attitudes towards them. Ins this case, the "Party Group" still worked hard and didn’t not dare to relax at all.

“人家小看咱们,咱们可不兴小看人家。”还在“党组”处境艰难的时候,党小组长王才就常这样对同志们说。大家一个屯子住着,哪能总是针尖对麦芒的!分组不分心,共产党员还要讲究风格。” When the "Party Group" was in a difficult situation, Wang Cai, the leader of the party group, often said to his comrades, "They look down on us, we can't look down on others. We all live in the same village. How can we always be tit-for-tat? Though we are in different groups, we communists should keep our style. "

他们也真是这么做的。夏天,冬小麦黄熟时节,劳力很紧张。“种在冰上,收在火上”，“麦收三晌”,火似的太阳ー照,眨眼间麦子就勾头了,不及时收上来,就要掉粒。偏赶上天气预报说要有大雨。抢秋抢秋,真是和天老爷抢收成啊! “党组” 劳力虽不硬实,但是能动员起来的人手多,干劲又大。人家一头晌歇两气,他们只歇ー气,中午也不休息,忙忙地扒拉ー口饭,就又下地了。他们很快就拔完了麦子, 运回去了。这时候急坏了那两个组,特别是“冷组”。大片麦子在地里挺着,眼看就要颓秧了。三门李地方粗杂粮多,种一点麦子金贵得要命。来人去客,擀个面条,新年春节,包个饺子,全指靠着这点出产。“冷组”的人急得火上了房,不吃不喝不歇气,拼命干,越着急那麦子还越难拔了。抬头看看天边,黑云彩正由小变大, 风也带出凉味了。正当这个时候,一群人轰一声拥进了麦地,立刻烟尘风扬,干起来了。“冷组”人抬头看,正是“党组”派人来了。他们很是激动,ー迭声地感谢。 “党组”却说:“这也是互相支援呗!”人们的心越发贴近了。 That was exactly what they did. When winter wheat was ripe in summer, labor was very tight. "The winter wheat was planted in winter, and harvested in summer. " "It took three days to harvest wheat. " With fiery sunshine, the wheat drooped its head in the blink of an eye. At this time, if it was not timely collected, the grain would fall off. Unfortunately, the weather forecast said that a heavy rain was coming. To catch up with a bumper harvest before the autumn rain was to compete with God for the harvest! Though there were not many laborers in the "Party Group", there were many people who were full of enthusiasm to mobilize. Members of the other two groups took a break twice in two hours, while the" Party Group" only took a break and neglected rest at noon. Usually, they ate a meal in a hurry and then went to the fields again. By doing so, they soon collected the wheat and shipped it back. At the same time, the other two groups, especially the "Leng Group", were extremely anxious. Their large areas of wheat were still standing in the fields and about to fall off. In Sanmen Li, there were abundant coarse grains, but wheat was very precious. People needed it to cook noodles for visitors, and make dumplings during the Spring Festive. So anxious was the "Leng Group" that they forgot about food, drink and rest. The more anxious they were, the harder it was to harvest the wheat. Looking up at the sky, the black clouds were growing from small to large, and the wind contained a hint of coolness. Just then, a group of people burst into the wheat field and immediately started to work in a hurry. Members of "Leng Group" looked up to see, and found it was the "Party Group" that came to help them. Members of the "Leng Group" were so excited that they thanked them repeatedly. However, the "Party Group" said, "This is also mutual support!" People's hearts were getting closer and closer.

分组以后,农具什么的也照样分了三份,但他们仍共同使用ー个仓库,一家占了一个角,从来没发生过什么纠纷。不像有的地方,分了组,就在仓库里垒起高墙, 开出几个大门,各走各的,如同路人,邻组相望,鸡犬之声相闻,老死不相往来。 After grouping, agricultural tools and other items were divided into three equal parts, but they still shared a warehouse, with each occupying a corner. There were no disputes. In some other places, high walls were built and several gates were opened in the warehouse. Different groups of people went their own way and didn’t communicate with each other, just like passers-by.

柳枝泛红,北雁南飞,转眼间壮丽的秋天来到了。小杂粮上场以后,“党组”的领先局面以具体的物质成果显示出来了。无论是小麦、糜子、小豆和葵花子,“党组”的人均所得都超过了另外两组,其中有的超出了差不多一倍。四大作物（高粱、谷子、苞米、黄豆）的产量,“党组”也大大领先。全作业组产量高达五十五吨。 “王组”和“冷组”也不错。全队三个组加在ー起比去年多产粮四十多吨。 The willow branches turned red, and the north geese flew south. In the blink of an eye, the magnificent autumn had arrived. After harvesting coarse grains, the leading situation of the "Party Group" was shown with concrete material achievements. Whether it was wheat, millet, adzuki bean or sunflower seed, the per capita income of the "Party Group" exceeded that of the other two groups, and some of them almost double. As for the output of the four major crops (sorghum, millet, corn and soybean), the "Party Group" also played a leading role. The output of the whole operation group was as high as 55 tons. Meanwhile, the "Leng Group" and the "Wang Group" also did a great job, making the whole output of the three groups 40 tons more than that of last year.

这是ー个生产上的重大胜利。但引人注目的东西还不止这些。前不久,三门李重新选举了生产队班子,党员刘清洲被三个组一致推为生产队长,“王组”和“冷组”还称他为“总组长”,意思是刘清洲也是他们的组长。在沈春书记看来,这种情况很自然地又成了一个预兆,说明三门李三个作业组的构成将要有所变化了。“王组”，，和“冷组”已经放出口风,要求向‘党组’靠拢”。有人还在私下里活动,对某个党员说:“过年你得上我们组来。没有党领导哪行?!”对此事反映最为强烈的是那两组中的ー帮小伙子和大姑娘。青年人喜欢用自己的眼睛看生活,他们有自己的追求,不像上岁数人那样注重经济观点,他们更着眼于精神生活的需要。他们很不满意地说:“三门李的分组法大有问题。把党员都给分走了,我们入党、进步的事咋办?谁培养?未必你们这些长翅膀的（非党员）当得了介绍人吧?”对这样的埋怨, 他们的父兄是难以作答的。就这样,经过近一年的艰苦奋斗,卧薪尝胆,三门李四队的共产党员们,同乡亲们一道,共同迎来了一个大丰收年。他们在我们国家960万平方公里地面上的这ー个小小村落里（在500000: 1的地图上都查不到的）,以党的ー个最基本的细胞,重新恢复了党的威信,重新获得了人民群众的信赖。 This was a major victory in production. However, there were more striking things. Not long ago, Sanmen Li re-elected leader of the production team. Party member Liu Qingzhou was unanimously promoted by the three groups as the production team leader. The "Leng Group" and the "Wang Group" also called him the "general team leader", meaning that they also accepted the leadership of Liu. Seeing this, Shen Chun knew the composition of Sanmen Li’s three operation groups were about to change. The "Wang Group" and the "Leng Group" had expressed their desire to be closer to the "Party Group". People also privately said to some party member: "Next year, you must join our group. How can we do without the leadership of Party?!" In this matter, a gang of young men and girls in the other two groups reacted the most strongly. Young people view life with their own eyes. They have their own pursuits. Therefore, they focus more on the needs of spirituality instead of on the economy like the older people. They said with dissatisfaction: "The grouping method adopted by Sanmen Li is very problematic. If all party members are grouped together, how can we make progress and join the party? Who will train us? You non-Party members can’t be the men who recommend us for Party membership, can you?" It was difficult for their fathers and brothers to respond to such complaints. In this way, after nearly a year of hard work, the Communist Party members of the 4th production team of Sanmen Li, together with fellow villagers, ushered in a bumper year. As the most basic cell of the Party, they had restored the Party's prestige and regained the trust of the people in this small village on the ground of 9.6 million square kilometers in our country (which could not be found on the 500000: 1 map).

这威信是怎样失去,又怎样重新获得的呢?三门李大队党支部书记ー边谈着, ー边陷入了深深的思索。以前不是没有发现过党员们的问题,也不是没有采取措施解决。批评啊,个别谈话啊,办学习班啊,学习十二条准则啊,可就是不起多少作用。这回用了什么办法呢?没有。没用什么办法。大队支部和公社党委甚至没有批评一声,指责一句,可党员们竟ー个个奋起改正了缺点,这是什么巨大的权威力量做出的奇迹呢?是生活,是人民群众,是ー种极严峻又极公正的社会现实。“我们共产党人好比种子,人民好比土地”,我们党的领袖老早就这样说过了。种子是不能离开土地而生存的,就像巨人安泰离开大地母亲就会被敌人击毙ー样。这些年来,我们的教训有一千条一万条,归根到底,其实恰恰是这一条:我们作为种子脱离了人民这块土地。 How was this prestige lost, and how was it regained? When talking, the secretary of the party branch of Sanmen Li Brigade fell into deep thinking. We had also discovered problems among party members before, and had taken measures such as criticism, individual talks, holding study classes, and studying the twelve principles. However, they just didn’t work. What method did we use this time? Nothing. Neither criticism nor accuse was given by the branch of the brigade and the Party Committee of the commune, but Party members all strived to correct their shortcomings. What great authority made this miracle happen? It was life, the people and a very severe and just social reality. The leader of our party had long said, "we Communists are like seeds, and the people are like land". Seeds cannot survive without land, just as giant Antai will be killed by the enemy if he leaves Mother Earth. Over the years, we have learnt numerous lessons. To sum up, it is precisely this one: as seeds, we separated from the land of people.

当我们勇敢地正视这种现实,挺起胸来,不是靠宣言,而是靠行动,不是靠旁人,而是靠自己,去克服缺点错误,去发扬党的传统,去以我们自己的手,恢复我们自己的形象,则我们就必定能够重新开花结果,达到我们的目标,就像在三门李这块丰饶而又贫瘠、富裕而又荒凉的大盐碱滩上,我们五个普通党员所获得的成功那样。

When we face up to this reality bravely with upright stature, we will overcome our shortcomings and mistakes, carry forward the Party's tradition and restore our own image with our own hands, what we rely on is not declaration, but action; not others, but ourselves, then we will surely be able to blossom again and bear fruit and achieve our goals, just like the success achieved by our five ordinary party members  in the rich and barren salt flats in Sanmen Li.

（原载《春风》1981年第6期） (Originally published in Spring Breeze, Issue 6, 1981)

胡杨泪

Tears of Populus Euphratica

孟晓云 Meng Xiaoyun

在世界上,胡杨——最古老的杨树品种已罕见。 Populus euphratica, the oldest populus species in the world, has been rare.

我在塔克拉玛干大沙漠的边缘,见到了这珍奇的树。它高大,树干弯曲,像弓着背的老人。其貌不扬,却有着很强的生命力,耐干旱,耐盐碱,抗风沙,能在夏季酷热、冬季严寒、年降水量只有十几毫米的恶劣自然条件下生长。维吾尔族农民说,胡杨三千年,长着不死一千年,死后不倒一千年,倒地不烂ー千年。 It was on the edge of Taklimakan Desert that I saw this rare tree. It is tall, trunk-bending, like a man with a hunched back. Though it is homely, it has a strong vitality, which helps resist drought, saline and alkali. It can grow under harsh conditions of summer heat, winter cold, and annual precipitation of only ten millimeters. Uygur farmers say that Populus euphratica lasts for three thousand years, immortal for one thousand years, standing for one thousand years, and unrotten for one thousand years.

当地人称胡杨是“会流泪的树”。这是因为,生活的环境越干旱,它体内贮存的水分也越多。如果用锯子将树干锯断,就会从伐根处喷射出ー米多高的黄水。如果有什么东西划破了树皮,体内的水分会从“伤口”渗出,看上去就像伤心地流泪ー样。千百年来,这自生自灭的天然胡杨,总是默默地为人们提供各种财富:它的树干是优良的建筑材料;它的嫩枝和树叶是牛羊爱食的饲料;就是它流出的“泪”,很快变成一种结晶体,叫胡杨碱,也可以食用、制肥皂……哦,这会流泪的树!我抚摸着胡杨粗糙的树干,被它可贵的品格深深感动了。 Locals call Populus euphratica a "weeping tree." That’s because the more arid its living environment is, the more water it stores in the trunks. If the trunk is cut with a saw, yellow water will be ejected from the stump to a height of more than one meter. If its bark is scratched, the moisture inside will seep from the "wound", as if it is crying sadly. For thousands of years, this natural Populus euphratica has always silently provided humans with various wealth-its trunks are excellent building material; its twigs and leaves are the fodder that cattle and sheep love to eat; the tears it shed will soon become a crystal, also named Populus euphratica alkali, which is edible and used to produce soap…Oh, the "weeping tree"! I stroked the rough trunk of Populus euphratica and was deeply moved by its precious character.

蓦地,我想到了一位在塔里木结识的农垦大学教师钱宗仁。任何ー个陌生人,握住他那粗糙的手,看到他黝黑多皱的脸,绝不会认为他只有39岁,也不会想到他是ー个知识分子。 All of a sudden, I thought of Qian Zongren, a teacher of Agricultural University, whom I met in Tarim Basin. Any stranger who held his rough hand and saw his dark, wrinkled face would never think that he was only 39 years old, nor would he think that the man was an intellectual.

整整四个下午、四个夜晚,钱宗仁向我讲述了二十年坎坷自学的经历。他并非ー个成功者,甚至可以说是ー个失败者。他的一句句话,仿佛是胡杨树上流出的ー滴滴泪珠。 For four afternoons and four nights, Qian Zongren told me about his 20 years of rough self-study. He is not a winner, and can even be said to be a loser. What he said seemed like the tears flowing out of the Populus euphratica.

离乡歌

Ode of Leaving Home

1964年8月,从兰州开往吐鲁番的慢车上,坐着ー个约莫20岁的青年,瘦高个儿,看上去很老实,也很忧郁。他没有行李,没有提包,甚至买了火车票后,已身无分文,既不是走亲戚,也不是做买卖,但他出远门了。这青年叫钱宗仁,湖南湘乡县市州大队人。 In August 1964, a nearly 20-year-old young man, tall and thin, took the slow train from Lanzhou to Turpan. He looked honest but melancholy, and had no luggage. He even ran run of money after buying the train ticket. The reason why he traveled so far away was neither to visit relatives nor to do business. The man was Qian Zongren, from Xiangxiang, Hunan province.

火车哐当哐当地响着,沉重的车轮从钢轨上碾过去,碾过去,像是碾碎了他童年的梦幻;窗外一晃而过荒凉的戈壁,像是他流逝的学生时代。也许是命里注定, 20岁就要流落异乡。他是ー个本分、勤奋、纯洁的青年,自懂事起,就有一块石头压得他喘不过气来,有一个影子总伴随着他——他是“富农”的儿子。为此,他入不了团,三次失去上大学的机会,甚至连在家乡都无法生活下去。 When the heavy wheels were rolling over the rail, the train clanged, crushing the dreams of his childhood. The desolate desert flashed across the window just like his past schooldays. Perhaps it was predestined that he would live in a foreign land at the age of 20. He was a dutiful, hard-working, pure youth. Since he was sensible, there was a stone in his heart that made him breathless -he was the son of a "rich farmer". For this reason, he couldn't join the Communist Youth League, lost the opportunity to go to college three times. He couldn't even live in his hometown.

公平地说,土改时,钱宗仁家的成分第一次被划为贫农,这在情理之中。可是由于一点家庭纠纷得罪了当时的农会主席,他把钱家划为“佃富农”。在急风暴雨式的南方土改运动中,某ー点点差错并不妨碍这场运动的伟大,然而就是这一点点差错,竟酿成了钱宗仁前半生的悲剧。 To be fair, it was reasonable that Qian Zongren’s family were classified as "poor farmers" for the first time during the land reform. However, because of family disputes, they offended the chairman of the Farmers’ Association, who therefore classified them as "tenant rich farmers". In the torrential rain of southern land reform movement, even if there was a little mistake, it would not affect its greatness. However, that was exactly the thing that led to the tragedy of Qian Zongren in the first half of his life.

“同志们请注意,我们这趟车比较拥挤,为了维护好车厢内的秩序和卫生,请各车厢推选一名愿为大家热心服务的旅客代表……”列车的广播响了。“就选这个小伙子吧。”ー个老头指着钱宗仁。“中,我看行,老实巴交的……”ー个抱孩子的妇女搭讪着。车厢里的气氛热烈起来,大家向钱宗仁投去热情和信任的目光。 The train broadcast rang, "Attention, please. To maintain good order and health in this crowded train, please select a passenger representative willing to serve everyone enthusiastically in each carriage…" Hearing this, an old man pointed to Qian Zongren, "How about this man? " A woman with a baby in her arms accosted him, "Well, I think so. He looks honest." In the carriage, the atmosphere warmed up. Everyone casted warm and trusting eyes on Qian Zongren.

世界上还有什么比信任更可贵呢?钱宗仁不愿意辜负人们的信任。他不吝惜カ气,也有的是力气。在老家,为了挣学费,他挑过红砖,担过水,推过车,眼下这点活算什么呢?扫地、擦地、整理行李,漫长的旅途中,钱宗仁一刻不停地为大伙做事。小娃要拉屎了,他用痰盂接着;老大娘不舒服了,他跑遍了其他车厢找大夫。旅客写了表扬稿,为这,炊事员还在他的饭盒里多添了一勺子菜呢。 What was more valuable than trust in the world? Qian Zongren was unwilling to betray others’ trust. He didn’t spare strength, and had lots of strength. In his hometown, he once bore bricks, carried water, and pushed carts to earn tuition fees. Now, it was just a small thing for him. In this long journey, Qian Zongren constantly did somethings for others, such as sweeping and wiping the floor, tidying up luggage… When the baby was about to shit, he dealt it with a spittoon. When the old woman was not feeling well, he ran all over the carriages for a doctor. For what he had done, he was awarded with a commendation draft. The cook also added a spoonful of food to his lunch box.

ー棵长期被压在石板下受冷落、被忽略的小草,居然在这群素不相识的人中,受到了关注、信赖和拥戴。他们并不了解钱宗仁的出身和经历,那些都是无关紧要的。他们看到的是ー个活生生的人——一个有着热心肠的小伙儿。 The grass, which had been neglected under the stone slab for a long time, should receive attention, trust and support from this group of people who had never met each other before. They knew nothing about Qian Zongren’s background, which was irrelevant of course. What they saw was a living man, a friendly young man.

此情此景,令钱宗仁回想起一次特殊的旅行。一年前,华北遇到洪水,郑州不通车了, 一群拿着哈尔滨エ业大学录取通知书的学生,只好绕道济南,转烟台,再从烟台乘船到大连。哈尔滨工业大学在济南组织了一个返校委员会,一个年轻人跳到广场的台子上,举着大喇叭说:“同学们,在这种特殊困难情况下,大家都不要心急,我们要发扬互助友爱的精神。有个新同学姓钱,他主动帮助别的同学托运行李,把旅店里的床位让出来,自己却露宿街头,我们应该向他学习……”他说的就是钱宗仁,那也是ー种像此刻在列车上选他为旅客代表同样的信任。 This scene reminded Qian Zongren of a special trip. One year ago, Zhengzhou was closed to traffic because of a flood in North China. Therefore, students who received the acceptance letters from Harbin Institute of Technology had to make a detour to Jinan, transfer to Yantai, and then take a boat to Dalian. In this case, Harbin Institute of Technology organized a back-to-school committee in Jinan where a young man jumped to the platform of the square, and said with a loudspeaker, "Dear students, we should calm down and carry forward the spirit of mutual assistance and friendship under such special and difficult circumstances. There is a new classmate surnamed Qian. He took the initiative to help others check luggage and gave his own bed in the hotel to others. While he himself slept on the street. We should learn something from him…" The man he mentioned was exactly Qian Zongren. That kind of trust was just like the trust when people selected him as the passenger representative on the train.

当时,有谁能理解钱宗仁复杂的心情呢?新生们虽然要延误报到的日期,他们的心情毕竟是快活的——对未来大学生活充满着憧憬。而钱宗仁,手中没有户ロ迁移手续,他考上了哈尔滨工业大学,但能不能就读,就读多长时间,尚不可知,前途莫测啊! At that time, who could understand Qing Zongren’s feelings? Though the school registration date had been postponed, freshmen were cheerful, longing for future university life. While Qian Zongren was different. With no household transfer procedures, even if he got admitted to university, it was uncertain whether he could attend and how long he could study. His future was uncertain!

命运总在捉弄着他。1962年第一次考大学,钱宗仁的成绩优异,进入全湖南省前十名。清华大学招生小组准备录取他。湘乡二中党支部副书记,利用ー个学生干部的嫉妒之心,盗走钱宗仁的日记本,断章取义,将其政审结论改为“出身不好,思想反动,不宜录取”。就这样,钱宗仁落榜了。但他不甘心,第二年又以优异的成绩被哈尔滨工业大学精密仪器系录取。他欣喜若狂,一宿没合眼。 Fate was always playing tricks on him. In 1962, when Qian Zongren took the college entrance examination for the first time, he achieved excellent grades, which was among the top ten in Hunan province. The Tsinghua University admissions team was ready to admit him. However, taking advantage of a jealous student cadre, the deputy secretary of the Party branch of Xiangxiang No.2 Middle school stole Qian Zongren’s diary and took it out of context. He changed Qian’s political review conclusion into "The student was born from a bad background and reactionary in thought, unsuitable for admission. " In this way, Qian Zongren fell out of the list. However, he was not reconciled to his fate. In the second year, he once again admitted by the Department of Precision Instruments of Harbin Institute of Technology with excellent grades. He was so overjoyed that he couldn’t sleep all night.

那时长丰公社刚开始搞“四清”试点,公社S书记任浒州大队工作组组长,他们正在摸底组织阶级队伍时,传来钱宗仁被录取上大学的消息。当天晚上,村上召开群众大会,S书记报告,有一段话让钱宗仁毛骨悚然:“我们这里有没有阶级斗争动向啊?解放二十多年了,这个大队只有一个师范专科大学生,现在有一个富农的儿钱宗仁考上了大学,还是什么秘密专业（他不懂‘精密’二字）。为什么这么多贫下中农子女不上大学,却叫他去上这么好的大学?还有人批准,你们说这是不是阶级斗争?我们能叫他上大学吗?我宣布,他上大学谁批准谁负责,谁给办手续谁负责!” At that time, Changfeng commune had just begun to engage in "the four cleans movement" pilot project，and secretary S was the leader of the working group of Huzhou Brigade. When they were mapping out the class team, news came that Qian Zongren was admitted to college. That night, the mass meeting was held in the village, and secretary S made a report, in which there was a passage that made Qian Zongren’s hair stand on end, " Is there any trend of class struggle here? It has been 20 years since liberation, but the brigade has only one normal college student. Now, Qian Zongren, the son of a tenant rich farmer, has been admitted to university to major in secret (he knew nothing about the word "precision"). Why do so many children of poor and lower-middle farmers not go to university, but he can attend such a good university? Some even gave him approval. Is it class struggle? Can we send him to college? I declare that whoever approves him to go to college will be responsible, and whoever goes through the formalities for him will be blamed! "

钱宗仁又气又急,散了会就去找S书记了。S打着官腔:“这是大是大非的原则问题,你不能理解……”难道年轻人的前途又要被儿戏般毁掉?钱宗仁痛哭流涕,但是,眼泪是感动不了 S这号人的,他怎么能知道钱宗仁为取得深造机会苦苦奋斗的日日夜夜!怎能理解他朝思暮想迈进大学门槛的心情! Qian Zongren was angry and anxious, so he went to secretary S as soon as the meeting was over. Secretary S spoke in a bureaucratic tone, " This is a cardinal question of right or wrong. You cannot understand it…"Was the future of young people going to be ruined like a child’s play? Qian Zongren wept bitterly, but tears could not move a person like secretary S who didn’t know how hard Qian had worked to obtain the opportunity for future study, and thus couldn’t understand his longing to go to college!

19岁的年纪,无法接受这冷酷的现实,钱宗仁回到家里,哭啊、哭啊,又是一夜没睡。大队干部拒绝给他办理迁移户ロ的手续,恰好这时湘乡二中毕业的十几个大学生回乡度假,听到此消息,气愤地找公社干部理论,又联名写信向教育部反映情况。钱宗仁怀着对党的政策的信任,身带ー份报告书,空手登上了赴哈尔滨的旅程。 The cold reality overwhelmed 19-year-old Qian Zongren. He went home and cried, staying up all night. Just then, a dozen college students who graduated from Xiangxiang No.2 Middle School returned home for vocation. Hearing that the brigade cadres refused to handle the household transfer procedures for Qian, they angrily found the cadres to seek justice, and jointly wrote a letter to the Ministry of Education. With trust in the Party's policies, Qian Zongren took only one report with him and embarked on a journey to Harbin.

他的命运操在S书记等人的手中。恼羞成怒的S书记发函给哈工大,要求取消钱宗仁的入学资格。哈工大党委又派孙景略同志去湘乡市进行调查协商,到长丰公社宣传党的“有成分论、不唯成分论、重在政治表现”的政策,请“四清”工作队允许宗仁上学。那位S书记立即组织人马,写了十几页材料,说明钱“政治表现不好”。当孙景略了解此材料纯属编造,据理力争时,S书记在事实面前蛮不讲理,居然说:“要是我们公社ー级党领导机关还搞不过ー个地富子女,这会产生什么影响? 你们哈工大是共产党的学校还是国民党的学校?为什么不支持贫下中农,却支持地主富农!”最后竟耍起无赖,“你们硬要钱宗仁上学,我们立即撤走工作队,这里的“四清”由你们派人搞就是了。” His fate was in the hands of secretary S and others. With anger and shame, secretary S sent a letter to Harbin Institute of Technology, demanding that Qian Zongren’s admission qualification be cancelled. Therefore, comrade Sun Jinglue was sent by the Party committee of Harbin Institute of Technology to Xiangxiang city for investigation and consultation. He publicized the policy of "Though class origin is important, the theory of the unique importance of class origin is wrong. Political performance should also be emphasized " in Changfeng commune, hoping that the working group of "the four cleans movement" would allow Zongren to go to college. In response, secretary S immediately organized troops to write a dozen pages of material, illustrating that Qian was "bad in political performance." After Sun Jinglue knew that this material was purely fabricated, he argued strongly on just grounds. In the face of facts, secretary S unreasonably said, "If our commune-level party leading organs are still unable to engage in a child of rich farmer, what impact will this have? Is Harbin University of Technology a Communist Party school or a Kuomintang school? " In the end, he even acted shamelessly. "If you insist that Qian Zongren should be admitted, we will immediately withdraw the working group. It’s your duty to finish the work of "the four cleans movement" here. "

协商无效。哈工大无奈,只有劝钱宗仁退学。 Negotiation was futile. Harbin University of Technology had no choice but to persuade Qian Zongren to drop out of school.

如烟的往事啊…… Past events faded like a puff of smoke…

告别,告别,这一次不是告别家乡,而是与同窗三个月的好友分手。他所在的班全体同学到哈尔滨火车站送行。钱宗仁流泪了,大家都流泪了。“宗仁,我们等着你归来。”“宗仁,如果你此行回不来,可以在家乡从事文学创作,照样有出息。” “怎么会回不来?学校领导亲口说的,我们是希望你上学的,但有些问题需要你回去对证。”天真的宗仁,你哪里知道,这不过是同学们的ー种愿望,哪里会想到从此一去不复返,从此不能再登哈工大的门槛了呢? Farewell. This time, he bid farewell not to his hometown, but to his classmates of three months. All the students in his class saw him off at Harbin Railway Station. Everyone shed tears. "Zongren, we are waiting for you." "If you can’t come back, you can engage in literary creation in your hometown. I think you will be successful." "He will be back. The school leader said that they want him to attend school, but there are still some issues to be verified. " Naive Zongren didn’t realize that these were just wishes of his classmates. He would never return, or enter the threshold of Harbin University of Technology.

告别,又是告别,这回是向考场告别。为了求学,钱宗仁付出了多少代价,可他依然没有绝望。就在前一年被劝退学的那次谈话中,他流着泪还在问:“以后我要再考大学,还让不让我考呢?”哈工大送他回家乡的同志热诚地说:“希望你明年考大学,继续报哈工大,我们欢迎你。”在场的公社干部也一口应承:“没问题,让你考。”钱宗仁轻信了。第二年,他一切准备就绪,去报名时,“四清”工作队从中作梗,他跑了公社九次,九次被拒之门外,报名工作截止了。钱宗仁茶不思,饭不想, 沮丧、绝望和忧愁笼罩在心头,他第一次感到了自己的软弱。那年的7月15日,高三学生们纷纷走进考场,魂系考场的钱宗仁也情不自禁地向那走去。他只能远远地望着。年轻人在专注地答题,多么熟悉又多么亲切的考场,永别了!钱宗仁深情地向考场投了最后一瞥,跑到小河边,抱着苦楝树,ー个人长久地哭着,然后写下了两句诗:“理想崇高志永恒,常将寸步比长征……”告别,又是告别。这一次他真的告别了家乡,谁知道这是不是永别。他要到那最荒凉、最荒凉的戈壁滩去。不能上学,他还有一颗心、一双手,可以参加祖国的建设呢。不知为什么,钱宗仁对未来产生一种神秘感,又夹着热烈的向往。他奋笔疾书,在西行的列车上写了一首《离乡歌》:“凝眸回首意难详,去地归期两渺茫。汽笛声催家恋淡,车轮响报路行长。但须后事争前事,也或他乡胜故乡。寻觅英雄用武地,好花无处不芬芳。” Farewell again. This time he said goodbye to the examination room. In order to study, Qian Zongren paid much price, but he still did not despair. When he was persuaded to withdraw from school the year before, he asked with tears in his eyes: "If I want to go to college again in the future, will I be allowed to take the exam?" The comrade of Harbin University of Technology, who sent him back to his hometown, said enthusiastically, "I hope you will apply to Harbin University of Technology next year. We welcome you. "The commune cadre present also promised, "No problem. We’ll let you take the exam. "Qian Zongren believed. The next year, when he was ready to sign up for the college entrance examination, the working group of "the four cleans movement" got in his way. Qian Zongren went to the commune nine times, but was rejected. Finally, the registration was closed. For this, Qian forgot about food and drink. Frustration, despair and sadness hung over him. He felt his weakness for the first time. On July 15 of that year, when senior high school students were entering the examination room one after another, Qian Zongren couldn’t help but walk there, but he could only watch from afar-young people were answering questions attentively. What a familiar and cordial examination room. Farewell! Qian Zongren affectionately cast a last glance at it, and ran to the river. Holding the bead tree, he cried for a long time, and then wrote two lines of verse " The ideal is lofty and the ambition is eternal, and the inch is often compared to the long march..."Farewell again. This time he really bid farewell to his hometown. Nobody knew whether it was a farewell forever or not. He wanted to go to the most desolate Gobi Desert. Although he could not go to school, he still had a heart and a pair of hands with which could take part in the construction of his motherland. For some reason, Qian Zongren had a mysterious sense of the future, mixed with a warm yearning. In this circumstance, he wrote "Ode of Leaving Home" on the westbound train: "It’s difficult to look backwards, and the return date is uncertain. Whistles urge people not to be so homesick, and the wheels inform us of the traveled road. The future might be brighter and better in another land. Heroes always have their places, and flowers are fragrant everywhere. "

好花无处不芬芳

Flowers Are Fragrant Everywhere

新疆阿克苏市图书馆阅览室增添了一个年轻人的身影,瘦瘦高高的个子,皮肤被风沙吹打得很粗糙,这青年就是钱宗仁。他在实验林场当工人,月工资33元,没有钱买书,他自有办法:每逢星期日,天蒙蒙亮,他就上路了,从林场到阿克苏市有 30里呢,他疾走如飞到县城,是最早一个等阅览室开门的人。女图书管理员都认识这个小伙子了,你看他,中午啃着苞米面悖悖还在看书呢。《百炼成钢》《林海雪原》《子夜》《静静的顿河》《走向新岸》《悲惨世界》……一些古今中外的名著几乎都是那时候读完的。 A young man often appeared in the reading room of Xinjiang Aksu City Library. He was thin and tall, and his skin had been roughened by the wind-blown sand. The man was exactly Qian Zongren. He worked as a laborer in the forest experiment station with a monthly salary of 33 yuan. He had no money to buy books, but he had his own way. It was 30 miles from the forest to Aksu City. Every Sunday morning, he hit the road before dawn, and walked fast to the county town like a flying bird. He was always the first one to wait for the opening of the reading room. The women librarian had already known him. Look, he was still reading while eating corn bread at noon. Almost all the famous works at home and abroad, such as Be Steeled in Repeated Struggles, Tracks in the Snowy Forest, Midnight, And Quiet Flows the Don, Go to the new shore and Les Misérables were read at that time.

“傻瓜,真是个呆子,星期天也不知喘口气。”同睡在ー个土炕上的工人,大多是全国各地来的“盲流”,他们没有文化,当然无法理解钱宗仁求知的欲望,收エ后,他们多数打牌、睡觉,哪里会感到书中有无穷的乐趣? "Fool. What a fool. He even didn’t have a rest on Sunday. " The workers who slept on the same adobe kang were mostly 'migrant laborer' from all over the country. With no education, they of course couldn’t understand Qian Zongren's desire for knowledge. After work, most of them played cards and slept. How could they feel the infinite pleasure of books?

从来林场的那天起,钱宗仁就被人们称为“傻瓜” 了。 Since the day Qian Zongren arrived at the forest experiment station, he had been called "fool" by people.

钱宗仁本来可以找ー个更理想的工作岗位。他的一个老乡李金云和劳动局常局长相熟,小李说他有个弟弟想来新疆找个工作,老常一ロ应承。就这样,钱宗仁代替李金云的弟弟来阿克苏了。 Qian Zongren could have found a more ideal job. One of his fellow villagers, Li Jinyun, was acquainted with Director Chang of the Labor Bureau. Li said that his younger brother wanted to find a job in Xinjiang, and Director Chang readily agreed. In this way, Qian Zongren came to Aksu as Li Jinyun’s younger brother.

临到安排工作了,ー个干事问道:“你怎么认识常局长的?你和他什么关系?” 钱宗仁不会撒谎,一五ー十地讲了。干事的脸立刻拉长了:“工作不好安排哟,你有户口吗?能否办来?”“没有户ロ。恐怕一时也办不来。”“你有什么特长?”“没有。只会劳动。”“那么你去林场开荒种树行不行?”“行。” When it was time to arrange work, a clerk asked, "How do you know Director Chang? What is your relationship with him?" Qian Zongren was not good at telling lies, and told him the truth. All of a sudden, the clerk was unhappy, " The work is not easy to arrange. Do you have a household registration? Can you get one? ""I have no household. I'm afraid I won't be able to get one for a while. ""What are your strengths? ""No. I only know how to work. ""Well. Are you willing to open up land and plant trees in the forests? ""Sure. "

钱宗仁来到实验林场后,向同宿舍的工人学舌一番,大家都嘲笑他是个笨蛋: “你不会说你是常局长的亲戚吗?那样马上可以安排到地区工厂或者机关,户ロ以后慢慢办嘛,你也太傻了。”钱宗仁或许这辈子也学不会说谎,他已经很满足了,只要政治上不再受歧视,他就是由地狱进了天堂,再吃苦受累也心甘情愿。 After Qian Zongren arrived at the forest experiment station, he recounted it to the workers in the same dormitory. Everyone mocked him as a fool, "Why don’t you say you’re a relative of Director Chang? By doing so, you will be immediately arranged to work in a regional factory or agency. The household registration can be handled slowly. You’re so silly. " Qian Zongren may never learn to lie in his life, but he was already very satisfied. As long as he was no longer discriminated against politically, he felt like he had entered heaven from hell, and was willing to endure hardships and sufferings.

他没有足够的过冬的衣服,没有被褥,这些小伙子都不放在心上;要紧的是找ー个墨水瓶做油灯,他要学习,要写作。钱宗仁在阿克苏报上发表的散文,在《新疆文学》上发表的短篇小说《开荒队的姑娘》《认识》,都是在这小油灯下写出来的。 Though he didn’t have enough clothes for the winter, no bedding, the young man didn’t care about these. The most important thing for him was to find an ink bottle so that he could make a lamp for studying and writing. The prose published in Aksu Daily, and the short novels The girl of the Pioneering Team and Knowing issued in Xinjiang Literature, were all written by Qian Zongren under this little oil lamp.

钱宗仁的才干开始被林场的领导看重,林场成立了一个业余文艺宣传队,钱宗仁写了不少相声、快板、小话剧;之后,他又当上了保管员,生活得挺有意思。时间, 像ー个无声的医生,它能使心灵的伤口愈合,使绝望的痛楚消失。阿克苏的土地够肥沃的,不信长不出红花绿草。钱宗仁在这块土地上落脚了,扎根了。 Qian Zongren's talent began to be valued by the leaders of the forest experiment station, and an amateur literature and art propaganda team was established. He wrote many cross-talks, allegros, and small dramas; after that, he became a curator, and lived a very interesting life. Time, just like a silent doctor, could heal the wounds of the soul, and make the pain of despair disappear. The land of Aksu was so fertile that red flowers and green grass were sure to grow. Qian Zongren had settled down and taken root on this land.

大约是1965年吧,不少工人嫌林场工资低,生活又艰苦,跑掉了。帐篷里只剩下钱宗仁和另ー个工人。专区“四清”工作队的何组长到林场检查工作,发现钱宗仁床头上贴着这样一首词:“谁言塞外不荒凉,风沙帐,尘土床。中华儿女,有志此中央。想到江南风景好,挥汗水,改新装。亲人岂可不思量,话心肠,寄爹娘。扎得根深,此地是家乡。望我成材如树木,宜红柳,宜白杨。” It was around 1965 when many workers resigned from the forest experiment station because of their low wages and harsh living conditions. There were only Qian Zongren and another worker left in the tent. When leader He of "the four cleans movement" inspected the work in the forest experiment station, he found a poem posted on Qian Zongren’s bedside, "who says the outside of the Great Wall is not desolate? The wind blows the tent, and the dust covers the bed. Chinese people have aspirations here. Thinking of the beautiful scenery in Jiangnan (the regions south of the Yangtze River.), I work hard, wanting to dress it in green. How can I not miss my beloved ones? I wrote letters to express my heart and sent it to my parents. I hope I can be useful as trees .And the place where I root deeply is my hometown, and it’s suitable for the growth of rose willow and white poplar. "

老何连声称好。他在大会上表扬了钱宗仁。信任,又使钱宗仁那颗备受磨难的心受不住了。人与人之间的间隙在缩短,他向老何全盘托出一家庭的历史、个人的遭遇。老何深表同情,建议钱宗仁趁“四清”运动全面展开,到原籍甄别家庭成分。宗仁当时无钱回家,写了一份很长的报告,寄到湖南省委“四清”工作队总部,没想到,这在动乱岁月中竟成了他为家庭成分翻案的ー个罪名。这是一根十分敏感的神经。湘乡长丰公社连续九次发函阿克苏实验林场,要求把钱宗仁送回原籍劳动改造。 Lao He thought it was a great poem, and praised Qian Zongren in the meeting. It was trust that made Qian’s long-suffering heart unbearable again. With the gap between them narrowing, Qian fully disclosed the history of his family and personal experiences to Lao He who expressed sympathy and made a suggestion that Qian take advantage of the full-scale " four cleans movement" to examine the class status of his family in his native place. At that time, Zongren had no money to go home, so he wrote a long report and sent it to the Head Office of the "' Four Cleans Movement " working group of Hunan Provincial Committee. Unexpectedly, during the turbulent years, this became a charge for overturning the case for his family composition. This was a very sensitive issue. Changfeng Commune in Xiangxiang city had sent nine consecutive letters to the Aksu forest experiment station, requesting that Qian Zongren be sent back to his hometown for labor reform.

还是别提那动乱的岁月吧,偌大的中国,几乎每ー个家庭、每ー个善良的人都有自己一段难以言传的痛苦遭遇。钱宗仁不容置疑地是“黑七类”,有这么几条就够了: ー、混进大学,被开除;二、坚持反动立场,为家庭翻案;三、书写反动诗词,发表毒草作品;四、骗取“走资派”的信任,妄图钻进革命队伍。往事不堪回首,反省、揪斗、绑打、苦役、逃亡、到处流浪…… Let’s not mention the turbulent years. In China, almost every family and every kind-hearted person had their own unspeakable painful experience. Qian Zongren was undeniably one of the "seven black categories"-firstly, he got into college and was expelled; secondly, he adhered to his reactionary stand and tried to reverse the case for his family; thirdly, he wrote reactionary poetry, and issued works that were in line with the mainstream political values; fourthly, he deceived the trust of the 'capitalist roaders' and attempted to infiltrate the revolutionary ranks. The past was unbearable to look back on-reflecting, struggling, binding, hard labor, fleeing, wandering everywhere...

日夜吊起来轮流拷打,拖着沉重的脚镣被关进土牢,有人把他当马骑,用鞭子抽着他去撞墙,用香烟烫他的脸部,钱宗仁难以忍受这种非人的生活。有一天,趁看守打瞌睡时,他把土牢的窗户撬开,逃跑了,逃到乌鲁木齐、喀什流浪,曾在沙漠的废墟中度过那漫长的冬天…… Day and night, he was hung up and tortured in turn. When he was put into a dungeon with heavy shackles, some rode him like a horse, whipped him to hit the wall, and burned his face with cigarettes. Qian Zongren could not bear this inhuman life. One day, while the guard was dozing off, he pried open the window of the dungeon and escaped to Urumqi and Kashgar. He once spent that long winter in the ruins of the desert...

生活把什么都夺走了,剥去了,把钱宗仁从正常人的圈子里开除出来了,入了另册,但是他心里还有一把火没有熄灭。他要学习。坐牢的时候,他默诵古文和诗词,推演数学公式;办“学习班”的时候,他利用写检查之机,学语法修辞。他指望有那么一天,把自己的智慧献给祖国,把积累的知识献给人民。好一个在逆境中自强不息的生命!好一个在苦旱沙漠中倔强的灵魂! Life took everything away. Qian Zongren had been expelled from the circle of ordinary people, and put into another category. However, there was still a fire burning in his heart-he wanted to study. When he was in prison, he silently recited ancient prose and poems, and deduced mathematical formulas; When "study classes" were hold, he used the opportunity of writing inspections to learn grammar and rhetoric. He hoped that one day he could dedicate his wisdom to the motherland and his accumulated knowledge to the people. What a life of self-improvement in the face of adversity! What a unbending soul in the arid desert!

在那漫长的岁月中,人与人之间的间隙开始无限度地扩大,扩大到林场不容钱宗仁立脚,将他遣送原籍;扩大到钱宗仁不得不含泪和他的未婚妻分手,可那钟情的女子,是为了心上的人,不远万里来到新疆落脚的。钱宗仁不得不告别了生活六年的阿克苏。 During those long years, the gap among people began to expand infinitely, expanding to the point where the forest experiment station could not tolerate Qian Zongren's presence and sent him back to his hometown; to the point that Qian Zongren had to part with his unmarried fiancée with tears in his eyes, but that devoted woman came to Xinjiang from afar for the sake of her beloved. Qian Zongren had to bid farewell to Aksu where he had lived for six years.

他在县城里的青石板路上踽踽独行,ー个苗条秀气的女子向他走来,是中学同班同学文化南。他想躲开,自从回老家后,他不敢去看自己的同学和老师。“这不是宗仁吗?到我家来坐坐。”善良的文化南听了宗仁的遭遇,同情地说,“你不是学得一手木匠好手艺吗?到二中修门窗来吧,我是管理员。”一番热情的话语,使寂寞中的宗仁感到丝丝温暖。 When he was walking alone on the bluestone slab road in the county town, a slender and pretty lady came to him. She was Wen Huanan, Qian’s classmate in middle school. He wanted to escape. Since returning to his hometown, he dared not visit his classmates and teachers. "Zongren? Come and sit for a while at my house. "After kind-hearted Wen Huanan heard about Zongren's experience, she sympathetically said, "Aren't you skilled in carpentry? Come to Xiangxiang No.2 Middle school to repair doors and windows, I am the administrator. " These words warmed Qian Zongren in his loneliness.

钱宗仁在二中干了六七天活,被ー个老师发现而赶了出来,连文化南也受了一顿好批,说他是危险人物。多伤心哪,连劳动的权利都被剥夺了。钱宗仁挑着木匠担子,拖着沉重的脚步,心灵的负荷使他透不过气来。1974年的腊月廿九,他又离开了家乡,漂泊去了。向何处去?怎样生活? 30岁的钱宗仁感到ー种惆怅和茫然。 After working at No.2 Middle School for six or seven days, Qian Zongren was found out by a teacher and kicked him out. Even Wen Huanan was criticized, saying that he was a dangerous person. How sad he was! Even his right to work had been deprived. With the carpenter's burden and a heavy heart, he was overwhelmed by the load of his heart. On the 29th day of the twelfth lunar month in 1974, he left his hometown again and went wandering. Thirty-year-old Qian Zongren felt melancholy and at a loss. Where to go? How to live?

在武汉,他有幸认识了一个小漆匠,给他的生命注入了一种新的力量。这小漆匠姓杜,看上去二十六七岁,是个插过队的待业青年。在武汉钢铁公司三矿,钱宗仁为别人做木工活,小杜涂油漆。有一天,钱宗仁在工厂里看批林批孔的大字报, 小杜拍了拍他的肩膀:“钱师傅,你还挺关心政治的嘛,走,到我那儿坐坐。” In Wuhan, it was fortunate for him to know a lacquer worker, who injected a new force into his life. Surnamed Du, the young lacquerer looked twenty-six or seventeen years old, and was an unemployed youth who had worked in a production brigade. At Three Minerals Company, a Wuhan iron and steel company, Qian Zongren did carpentry, while Du painted for others. One day, when Qian Zongren was reading the big-character poster criticizing Lin Biao and Confucius in the factory, Du patted his shoulder and said, " Master Qian, you still care about politics. Come and have a seat with me. "

钱宗仁来到小漆匠的住处,那是一座用废板子钉的棚子,屋里有两张床,是用木板拼起来的,上面铺的稻草。给他印象最深的是满床满地的书,书上用钢笔画得圈圈点点,全部是哲学和历史方面的书籍,没有一本小说。这小漆匠正在读《反杜林论》和《美国内战》。 Qian Zongren came to the residence of the lacquerer, which was a shed made of waste boards. Inside were two beds made of wooden boards, covering with straw. What impressed him most was that there were books on philosophy and history everywhere, with pen marks. Even a novel was invisible. The lacquerer was reading Anti-Duhring and American Civil War.

“你看这些书有什么用?”钱宗仁问。 "what's the use of reading these books?" Qian Zongren asked.

“你知道中国为什么这样动乱?”小漆匠反问道,“我在找寻答案。批林批孔你知道矛头是对着谁吗?是周总理……” The lacquerer asked, "Do you know why China is in such turmoil?" I'm looking for answers. Do you know who the spearhead is directed at? It's Premier Zhou..."

小漆匠从中国革命的历史讲起,解释中国社会当时的政治形势。钱宗仁也述说着自己的经历,然后感慨地说:“我有一条抹不掉的影子!” Starting from the history of the Chinese revolution, the lacquerer explained the political situation of Chinese society at that time. Then, Qian Zongren also recounted his own experience, and exclaimed, " I have an indelible shadow! "

“唯成分论是唯心论。你背上沉重的包袱是人为的。既然是人加上去的,人还可以去掉……” " The theory of the unique importance of class origin is idealism. It is man-made for you to carry a heavy burden. Since it is caused by people, we can still get rid of it… "

这番谈话深深地震动了钱宗仁。他感到自己的贫乏和狭隘。他第一次意识到,应该向自己的“影子”告别,尽管它是那么难以摆脱。影子是虚幻的,而钱宗仁,是实实在在的。 This conversation deeply shook Qian Zongren, and made him feel his own indigence and narrowness. For the first time, he realized that he should say goodbye to his "shadow", which was hard to get rid of. Since the shadow was illusory, while Qian Zongren was a living man.

仅仅超过两岁

Just Over Two Years Old

1981年的冬天,钱宗仁跳上南去的列车——从乌鲁木齐到西安。他的心情是复杂的。 In the winter of 1981, Qian Zongren boarded the southbound train from Urumqi to Xi'an with mixed feelings.

自1978年7月开始到1981年春,钱宗仁在繁忙工作和沉重家务的间隙中,学完了八门大学课程,写了四十多本笔记,做了二十册练习题,以几乎全是满分的成绩取得新疆广播师范大学毕业证书。1981年9月,他考取西北大学数学系刘书琴教授的研究生,成绩在二十六名考生中名列第一。左等右等,通知书却没有寄来。这究竟是为什么呢?他已经37岁了,这或许是最后一次入学深造的机会了,钱宗仁怎能错过?他要去西安问个究竟。 From July 1978 to the spring of 1981, Qian Zongren completed eight university courses, wrote more than 40 notebooks, did 20 practice exercises between busy work and heavy household chores. He obtained the graduation certificate of Xinjiang Broadcasting Normal University with almost all full marks. In September 1981, he was admitted as a graduate student by Professor Liu Shuqin in the Department of Mathematics at Northwest University, ranking first among 26 candidates. He waited for a period of time, but the admission notice never arrived. What was the reason for this? He had been already 37 years old, and this might be his last chance to further his education. How could Qian miss the chance? He was going to Xi'an to find out the reason.

难道我又有什么过错吗?钱宗仁在飞驰的列车中沉思默想。数学中有这样ー个名词,叫“条件极值”。某ー个量在固定的条件下可变动内在因素,取得最大的值。人,只能在不可改变的条件下,尽量开足马力,争取最大的值。重返阿克苏后的八年,钱宗仁正是以这种积极态度,争取着人生最大的“值”。 Did I have any fault again? Qian Zongren was lost in thought on the speeding train. In mathematics, there is a term called 'conditional extremum'. That is, a certain quantity can achieve its maximum value by varying its internal factors under fixed conditions. People can only try their best to maximize their value under unchangeable conditions. In the eight years since his return to Aksu, it was with this positive attitude that Qian Zongren strived for the greatest "value" in his life.

与小漆匠分手,钱宗仁回到实验林场筑路队,以往加给他的一切罪名都一风吹了,他又重新当了一名工人。筑路工地远离居民点,在戈壁上搭起帐篷,喝的是浑黄泥沙水,吃的是咸菜玉米馍。扫冰雪,挖冻土,顶着风沙铲石头,这一切苦都不在话下,钱宗仁庆幸从此再没有折磨人的政治运动的折腾,生活安定了,又可以自学了。 After parting with the lacquerer, Qian Zongren returned to the road construction team of the forest experiment station. All the charges previously imposed on him were swept away. Again, he became a worker. The construction site was far away from residential areas. Therefore, he set up a tent on the Gobi Desert, drank muddy yellow water, and ate pickled corn bun. The sufferings, such as sweeping ice and snow, digging frozen soil, and shoveling stones against the wind and sand, were nothing difficult for him. To Qian Zongren’s delight, there was no more torturous political movement. Life was stable, and he could learn on his own again.

他在筑路工地上,在戈壁滩的帐篷里,靠几本字典和一些废纸,开始研究汉字结构。经过无数个不眠之夜,他将所有的汉字ー笔ー画地进行反复推敲、归类排列,到1975年底,编成一种“汉字笔顺号码排字法”。 With several dictionaries and some waste paper, he began to study the structure of Chinese characters on road construction sites and in his tent in the Gobi Desert. After innumerable sleepless nights, he repeatedly reviewed and categorized every stroke of the Chinese characters. By the end of 1975, he had compiled a method called 'Chinese Character Stroke Order Numbering System'.

可巧,《参考消息》有一篇报道,讲ー个美籍华人发明了“丙字检字法”,方法竟与钱宗仁的排字法基本相同。钱宗仁鼓起勇气把自己的排字法和检字表寄给《人民日报》,请他们代为推荐。《人民日报》寄给了商务印书馆。事隔两年,商务印书馆在清理资料中清出退还给钱宗仁,说该馆没有这方面的研究机构,要他改寄其他部门或请有关专家审阅。当年全国科学大会期间已报道有人发明类似的笔顺号码检字法,其后又陆续报道了更先进的方法,钱宗仁望尘莫及。他身居僻地,既无人指导,又缺乏图书资料,与任何科技部门、教育机构都无联系,有谁指引?有谁支持?即使是学到了一定程度,达到了相当的水平,又有谁发现?有谁推荐?有谁承认?有谁录用? Coincidentally, according to Reference News, a Chinese-American had invented the "C-character Indexing Methods", which was basically the same as that of Qian Zongren. Qian Zongren plucked up the courage to send his method and index of Chinese characters to the People’s Daily, hoping that it could make a recommendation for him. Therefore, it sent these materials to the Commercial Press. Two years later, the Commercial Press cleared and returned these materials to Qian Zongren, stating that the library did not have any research institutions in this area, and requesting him to send them to other departments or invite relevant experts for review. During the National Science Conference that year, it was reported that someone had invented a similar stroke order numbering system. Later, more advanced methods were established. Qian Zongren could not catch up with them. He lived in a remote area where he had no guidance, books or materials, and had no connection with any technology department or educational institution. Who would provide guidance for him? Who would support him? Even if he had learned to a certain degree and reached a considerable level, who would discover him? Who would recommend him? Who would admit him? Who would hire him?

但是,钱宗仁毕竟从中发现了自己的潜カ,他决心自学大学课程,报考研究生。 However, Qian Zongren eventually discovered his own potential. He was determined to study university courses on his own and apply for graduate school.

每走ー步都要付出心血和代价。钱宗仁无法选择专业——没有任何书籍,有什么书就决定他学什么专业。他在近处寻到一本残缺不全的《高等数学》上册,他向北京、上海、天津等地新华书店发出七十多封信邮购,都是无货。他向内地的亲友联系,都爱莫能助;他向哈尔滨工业大学写信,请求购买原来所学专业的教科书, 杳无音信。费尽心机,最后只弄到了几本数学书和一本英汉辞典。 Every step required painstaking effort and price. With no books, Qian Zongren couldn’t choose his major. What books he had determined what major he would study. He found a partial volume 1 of Advanced Mathematics nearby, and he sent more than 70 letters to Xinhua Bookstore in Beijing, Shanghai, Tianjin and other places for mail order, but all were out of stock. Therefore, he contacted his relatives and friends in the mainland, but they were unable to help; he wrote to Harbin Institute of Technology requesting to purchase textbooks related to his original major, but received no response. Finally, he only got a few math books and an English-Chinese dictionary.

时间是这样安排的:白天,钱宗仁坚持搞好本职工作,尽量挑重担子,公务活动绝不缺席——防止在所难免的非难;正常休息时间,他非干体力劳动（打家具挣钱）不可,不然他无法维持家庭的基本生活——エ资低微,上有老人,下有妻小,都要靠他养活。除了五小时的睡眠外,剩下的每一分钟都要抓紧,吃饭、洗脸、走路、上厕所都算作学习时间。三年之间,他从ABC学起,牢记了五千个单词,演算了上万道算术题,身体一天天消瘦,体重一天天减轻,可是顾不上了——这是ー个抢时间的特定时期。 Here was his time schedule. During the day, Qian Zongren insisted on doing his job well-he took on as much responsibility as possible, and was never absent from official activities-to avoid inevitable criticism. When it was time for him to have a rest, he had to do physical work (making furniture to earn money), otherwise he wasn’t able to maintain the basic livelihood of his family-with low income, he still had family members to support who relied on him. Except for five hours of sleep, every minute of the rest must be seized., and activities such as eating, washing face, walking, and going to the bathroom were all considered as study time. Within three years, he started learning from ABC to five thousand words, and solved tens of thousands of arithmetic problems. As his weight decreased day by day, he was visibly getting thinner, but he didn’t care so much - this was a certain period of time rush.

他终于考上了,但至今没有得到入学通知书。 Finally, he passed the exam, but had not yet received the admission notice.

沉重的钢铁车身,吭哧吭哧地发出巨大的声响。命运,你为什么对我这样无情?难道我毕生的梦想又要被碾得粉碎?我有什么过错?有什么过错? The heavy steel body made a loud noise. Fate, why are you so merciless to me? Is my lifelong dream going to be crushed again? What have I done wrong?

钱宗仁终于在记忆深处搜寻出ー个错误,他少报了两岁年龄,可只有这样才能取得考试资格呀。1978年报考研究生年限是40岁,1979年和1980年是38岁, 1981年减至35岁,而钱宗仁已37岁。他早早地撑出他生命的船到远处漂泊,时光却在岸边挨延消磨了 ,这能怪他吗?钱宗仁给西北大学研究生办公室写了报告,述说了自己特殊的经历和求学的心情。他希望得到同情和谅解。 Qian Zongren finally found a mistake deep in his memory-he underreported his age by two years, but only in this way could he qualify for the exam! In 1978, the age limit for graduate school entrance exam was 40 years old. In 1979 and 1980, it was 38 years old. In 1981, it was reduced to 35 years old, but Qian Zongren was already 37 years old. He sailed his lifeboat faraway early, but time was wasted on the shore. Could this be his fault? Qian Zongren wrote a report to the Graduate Office of Northwest University, describing his special experience and desire for study. He wanted to receive sympathy and understanding.

此刻,钱宗仁在火车上,正在默读着这个报告: At this moment, Qian Zongren was on the train, silently reading this report:

“我一生梦寐以求能有进高等学校的机会,哪怕是ー个很短的时间。我不是为了什么名声,这对我的经济状况也无所改善;我一生只要求一个基本的生活条件, 却渴求一个较好的求知环境。我想实践一下,当国家能满足她的ー个儿女渴求学习的心愿时,他的年华能否放出光芒。我愿以两年时间学三年课程,提前结业,以消除年龄矛盾。若在任何时候发现我赶不上其他年轻优秀学生,立即退学……” " I have dreamed all my life to have the opportunity to attend a higher education institution, even if it is only for a short period of time. I am not seeking fame, which does not improve my financial situation; I only require basic living conditions in my life, but I yearn for a better learning environment. I want to practice and see if the youth of her children can shine brightly when the country can satisfy their thirst for learning. I would like to study a three-year course in two years and finish the course early to eliminate age conflicts. At any time, if I was found being unable to keep up with other young and outstanding students, I will drop out immediately... "

回想起到西安复试和与刘书琴教授的接触,这位74岁高龄的学者了解了钱宗仁的经历,同情他,喜欢他,认为年龄不是原则问题,历年也有超龄录取的先例,建议学校予以破格录取。陈述的理由是:ー、该生考试成绩好,指导教师实测后认为, 由于该生是在全无指导下自学应试,其实际水平还高于考试分数所反映的水平,确有培养前途;二、从该生的经历看,其年龄是被错误路线所耽误,本人尽了最大的努力补救,纵然超龄,其情可谅;三、该生生活环境和学习条件都相当差,能如此长期坚持自学,其志可嘉;四、数学系研究生没有招满,既然有培养能力,而国家人才需求紧迫,不应错过机会。这个建议经数学系讨论书面送交学校。 Qian Zongren recalled the contact with Professor Liu Shuqin when taking the re-examination in Xi’an. Knowing about Qian’s experience, the 74-year-old scholar sympathized with him and liked him. He believed that age was not a matter of principle, and there had been precedents for over-age admissions over the years. Therefore, he made a suggestion that the school make an exception for his admission. The reasons were as follows. Firstly, the student performed well. After the actual test, the instructor believes that the actual level of the student is still higher than the level reflected in the test scores, because he is self-study and takes the test without guidance. He has a promising future. Secondly, judging from the student's experience, his age is delayed by the wrong path. He has tried his best to make up for it. Even if he is over age, it is understandable. Thirdly, the living environment and learning conditions of the student are quite poor. It is commendable that he can persist in self-study for such a long time. Fourthly, the mathematics graduate students have not been fully enrolled. Since we have the ability to cultivate talents and our country is urgent for qualified personnel, we can’t miss this chance. This suggestion was discussed by the Department of Mathematics and submitted to the school in writing.

难道我的请求报告及数学系的建议都未获准吗?当钱宗仁来到西北大学,见到研究生办公室负责人那张毫无表情的脸时,他心冷了。 Could it be that my requested report and the suggestions of the Department of Mathematics were not approved? When Qian Zongren came to Northwest University and saw the expressionless face of the head of the graduate office, his heart was cold.

“我代表学校向你宣布,由于超过录取年龄,不予录取。” "On behalf of the school, I announce to you that you will not be admitted because you are over the admission age."

真是劈头盖脸的打击。“你们就这么仓促地决定了吗?”钱宗仁讷讷地问。 It was really a blow for him. Qian Zongren asked dully, "Have you made a decision so hastily?"

回答依然是那么冰冷,摆出ー副公事公办的架势:“年龄是死的,我们没有什么商量的余地。” The answer was still so cold, with a posture of official business: " Age is a fact. Therefore, there is no room for negotiation. "

年龄是死的,可人是活的,招生制度是人制定的,难道人不能做ー些小的更改吗?钱宗仁的心不死,依然存在着ー线希望。 Age couldn’t be changed, but people were flexible. The enrollment system was created by people. Couldn’t they make some small changes? Qian Zongren's heart was not dead, and there was still a glimmer of hope.

他去看望刘书琴教授,刘老听了很气愤:“我招的研究生,怎么不与我商量一下就不要了?年龄超过了就超过了,35岁能当,37岁也能当嘛。你到北京去找教育部,看看年龄问题是否还有活动的余地。我给你带封信,先找一下数学研究所的张广厚,他会帮你的忙的。”刘老从皮夹里拿出三十元钱,让孩子给钱宗仁买了一张去北京的快车票。 He went to visit Professor Liu Shuqin. Hearing it, Professor Liu was very angry, " You’re the graduate I recruited. How can the school give up you without consulting with me? Age shouldn’t be a problem. Whether you are 35 or 37 years old, you should have the chance to be a graduate student. Go to Beijing and find the Ministry of Education to see if there is still room for negotiation on the age issue. I’ll bring you a letter, first look for Zhang Guanghou from the Mathematics Research Institute. He will help you. " Professor Liu took out 30 yuan from his wallet and let Qian Zongren buy a fast train ticket to Beijing.

张广厚在百忙中接待了钱宗仁。钱宗仁说:“世界上有成就的人,他们的黄金时代在25岁ー30岁,40岁前出成果的占90%,我是快40岁的人了,但我想可以算到10%里去。”张广厚连声称赞:“好,你这个人看来很有志气,每个人都有权利争取进入10%的行列,40岁以后出成果的也大有人在。我们与教育部很少打交道, 《光明日报》和《中国青年报》有两个记者我很熟,他们很懂政策,你去找他们试试看。” Zhang Guanghou received Qian Zongren in the midst of his busy schedule. Qian Zongren said: “Successful people in the world have their golden age between 25 and 30, and 90% of them make progress before the age of 40. I am almost 40 years old, but I think I can be counted among the 10%. Zhang Guanghou praised him repeatedly, "Well, you seem to be very ambitious. Everyone has the right to strive into the top 10%, and many people make progress after the age of 40. We rarely deal with the Ministry of Education. But I am familiar with two reporters from Guangming Daily and China Youth Daily. They know policies well. You can find them and have a try. "

钱宗仁带着张广厚写的信找到《光明日报》,记者老林十分热心,当即与教育部研究生处联系,并递上钱宗仁请求当研究生的报告。教育部研究生处批给陕西省高教局:“钱宗仁情况确有特殊之处,望陕西省高教局协助西北大学考虑,是否作为特殊情况处理。” Qian Zongren brought a letter written by Zhang Guanghou to Guangming Daily. The journalist Lao Lin was very warm-hearted and immediately contacted the Graduate Division of the Ministry of Education, and submitted Qian Zongren's request to become a graduate student. The Graduate Division of the Ministry of Education has granted approval to the Shaanxi Provincial Bureau of Higher Education: "Qian Zongren's situation is indeed special. It is hoped that the Shaanxi Provincial Bureau of Higher Education will assist Northwest University in considering whether to handle it as a special case. "

钱宗仁满怀希望,回到西安,再次去见西北大学研究生办公室的那位负责同志,回答是冰冷而圆滑的:“教育部让我们考虑,没有说一定录取。我校中文系有一个应届毕业生也是超龄报考,考试成绩过了分数线,本拟录取,却因中文系过分数线的学生人数多于录取名额,这个超龄生没有被录取。为了一视同仁,我们不能录取你。你没有上成大学,’文革’中又受种种磨难,对此我们表示同情,但这与我们无关。自学成オ不一定都要当研究生,在新疆也是大有可为的。” Hope flamed in Qian Zongren. He met the comrade in charge of the graduate office of Northwest University, only to get a cold and tactful reply-"The Ministry of Education asked us to consider, but it doesn't mean you will be admitted. There was a recent graduate in our Chinese Department who also applied beyond the age limit. With his exam scores passing the line, he was supposed to be admitted, but not. This was because the number of students who passed the admission line in the Chinese Department was more than the number of places. Therefore, this overage student was not admitted. In order to be fair, we cannot accept you. We feel sympathy for your failure to go to university and your sufferings during the "Cultural Revolution", but it has nothing to do with us. Self-taught talent does not always have to be a graduate student, there are also great opportunities in Xinjiang. "

刘书琴教授又一次震怒了 : “太无道理了,你再去一次北京去找蒋南翔、华罗庚……”又掏出三十元钱让钱宗仁赴京。钱宗仁虽然已感到希望渺茫,但为了不辜负刘老的一片心意,第二次来到北京。 Professor Liu Shuqin was furious again: " It's unreasonable. Go to Beijing again and find Jiang Nanxiang, Hua Luogeng... " and gave Qian Zongren thirty yuan assisting his trip to Beijing. Although Qian Zongren felt hopeless, he came to Beijing for the second time in order not to abuse Liu’s kindness.

教育部研究生处回答,招研究生的主权在学校,如果学校一定不肯录取,教育部也无能为カ。钱宗仁无法在京久留,一天两元钱的住宿费使他几乎囊空如洗。他向热心的记者老林辞行,没想到老林告诉他ー个消息,使他大有“柳暗花明又一村”之感——陕西省高教局已打电话给哈工大,西大不录取钱宗仁,哈工大表示可以考虑。 The Graduate Division of the Ministry of Education replied that the authority to recruit graduate students lies with the school. If the school definitely refused to accept the student, the Ministry of Education could do nothing about it. Qian Zongren could not stay in Beijing for a long time because the accommodation fee of two yuan per day almost left him penniless. He bid farewell to the warm-hearted journalist Lao Lin, who told him a piece of news that made him feel like "there is always light at the end of the tunnel". Shaanxi Provincial Bureau of Higher Education had called Harbin Institute of Technology ，which said, " if Northwestern University doesn’t admit Qian Zongren, Harbin Institute of Technology is willing to consider it. "

钱宗仁在北京耐心地等待了几天,哈工大研究生办公室的回音来了:我校已尽最大的力量,但我们是工科,钱宗仁同志报的是理科,很难找到适合他的指导教师。 Qian Zongren patiently waited in Beijing for several days, and the response from the Harbin Institute of Technology graduate office came: Our school has done its best. We are a school specialized in engineering courses, but Comrade Qian Zongren applied for science departments. Therefore, it is difficult to find a suitable tutor for him.

多少次燃起希望,又有多少次希望的破灭,钱宗仁的心沉下去了。仅仅因为超过两岁,他奔波行程几万里,历时近百天,破费数百元,倘若能有条件利用这段时间学习,恐怕也越过了一年研究生课程。 How many times hope was ignited and then shattered, Qian Zongren's heart sank. He traveled tens of thousands of miles, and spent nearly a hundred days and hundreds of yuan just because he was two years over the limit age. If he had been able to use this time to study, he would probably have completed a year of graduate courses.

人们为钱宗仁惋惜的同时,也发出了这样的慨叹:人的价值在人的本身,两岁, 这在人生的长河中算得了什么?我们的ー些部门却把这微不足道的外在因素看得那么郑重,神圣不可侵犯,而忽视有オ华的人本身。多少人才因僵死的人事制度被压抑、被搁置、被埋没,这种束缚人的制度难道不应改革吗? As people felt sympathy for Qian Zongren, they also expressed their thoughts: the value of people lies in themselves. The fact is that two years is not important at all in the long river of life. However, some of our departments treat these trivial external factors so seriously and sacredly, while neglecting the essence of a person. How many talented people have been suppressed, shelved, and buried because of the rigid personnel system? Shouldn't this system that restricts people be reformed?

“伯乐”,到处都有

"Bole" Could Be Found Everywhere

钱宗仁,这棵从石板缝中钻出来的小草,并非只遇到冰冷而圆滑的石头,他也感受过春风的温暖和爱抚。他遇到了不少“伯乐”,西北大学的刘书琴教授不就是ー个吗?刘老给教育部写的一封信,一直珍藏在宗仁的身边:“我认为钱宗仁实际水平很高,各种基础具备,如能使其有一个较好的条件加以深造,定能见效,很有可能做出成绩。……对这种人才仅因超龄而拒之门外,实为浪费埋没人才,我深感不安,似与当前所倡精神有违。……我有信心,敢尽有生之年,在其他同志帮助下,悉心培养之。……我年事已高,难得几回为国家‘四化’出力,因此特修书陈请……” 每逢读到这里,钱宗仁心中都会涌出ー股热流。尽管处处有路障,但到底有人理解他,有人发现和承认了他呀! Qian Zongren, this little grass that drilled out of the cracks in the stone slabs, had not only encountered cold and smooth stones, but also felt the warmth and caress of the spring breeze. He had met many "Bole" (good judges of talents), and Professor Liu Shuqin from Northwest University was one of them. The letter written by Mr. Liu to the Ministry of Education had been cherished by Zongren, "I think Qian Zongren has a high practical level and various basic skills. If he can be given better conditions for further study, he will definitely make progress and achieve results…I am deeply disturbed by the fact that such a talent should be rejected only because he is over-aged. It is a waste of talent and seems to be against the spirit of the current advocacy…With the help of other comrades, I have the confidence and courage to cultivate him carefully for the rest of my life…I am already old. There are not many opportunities for me to contribute to the country's " four modernizations". Therefore, I hereby request…" Every time Qian Zongren read here, his heart was filled with a warm current. Although there were obstacles everywhere, there were people who could understand him. He was discovered and recognized!

还有那位未曾见过面的北京工业学院基础部的杨维奇教授,在青岛ー次会议中,遇到张广厚和刘书琴,他为钱宗仁未被录取之事愤愤不平,又深为钱宗仁在逆境中自强不息的精神感动。他决定破格在1982年招钱宗仁当研究生,并征得教育部的同意。虽然,由于种种原因此愿未遂,但杨维奇这番心意,钱宗仁领了,至今, 他还与这位素不相识的教授保持通信联系,当他的“校外研究生”。“伯乐”,到处都有,相识的,素不相识的,那些热情的学者、专家、记者,在关键时刻都向钱宗仁伸出了声援的手。二十年过去,钱宗仁遇到了不少坎坷,但也得到了不少人的理解, 他没有被畸形的生活所带来的痛苦湮没,反而造就出另一种性格。 Professor Yang Weiqi from the basic Department of Beijing Institute of Technology was his another "Bole"(a good judge of talent). At a meeting in Qingdao, he met Zhang Guanghou and Liu Shuqin, from who he knew Qian Zongren’s not being admitted. Though Professor Yang had never met Qian before, he was indignant for it and deeply moved by his spirit of self-improvement in adversity. Therefore, he decided to admit Qian Zongren as a graduate student in 1982, and obtained the approval of the Ministry of Education. Though Yang’s wish was not fulfilled due to various reasons, Qian Zongren appreciated it so much. Up to now, he had kept in correspondence with this unknown professor as his "off-campus graduate student". 'Bole'(a good judge of talent) could be found everywhere-acquaintances and strangers, and those enthusiastic scholars, experts, and journalists had all extended their helping hands to Qian Zongren at the critical moment. Over the past 20 years, Qian Zongren had encountered many ups and downs, but also been understood by many people. The abnormal life didn’t crush him, but helped him develop another personality.

考研究生落榜,钱宗仁再次回到新疆。在阿克苏,钱宗仁又遇到了一个“伯乐”——阿克苏地区宣传部长宣惠良,这真是钱宗仁不幸中的大幸。宣惠良读了钱宗仁的自述材料后,深为感动。这个青年人对理想的追求那样执着,没有虚假的夸张和自我炫耀,字里行间跳动着ー颗真诚的心。他亲自到实验林场调查了解钱宗仁的情况。他听到ー些非议,比如钱宗仁对人冷漠、孤僻,有名利思想,不务正业; 但就是对他有意见的同志也承认他经过百般磨难,坚持自学的毅カ令人佩服。宣惠良理解钱宗仁,喜欢钱宗仁——他看到了这小伙子的品质和潜在的能力。他走进了这个小伙子的住处个破烂的小屋。钱宗仁上下打量了来客,个头不高, 戴着黑边眼镜,风度潇洒,没想到这位素不相识的宣传部长竟成了他今后生活道路上的良师益友。 After failing the postgraduate entrance examination, Qian Zongren returned to Xinjiang again. In Aksu, Qian Zongren met another "bole"—Xuan Huiliang, Minister of Propaganda of Aksu District. Xuan Huiliang was deeply moved after reading Qian Zongren's self-report. Without false exaggeration or self-show off, this young man was so persistent in his pursuit of ideals, and there was sincerity in between his words. He personally went to the forest experiment station to investigate Qian Zongren. In the meanwhile, he heard some criticisms- Qian Zongren was indifferent to others, thirsty for personal fame and gain, and derelict in duty. However, even the comrades who had opinions on him also admitted that he had gone through various hardships, and his perseverance in self-study was admirable. Xuan Huiliang understood and liked him - he saw the young man's qualities and potential. When he walked into the shabby hut where the young man lived, Qian looked up and down at the visitor who was not tall and wore black rimmed glasses, with a graceful demeanor. It was not expected that the Minister of Propaganda, who he had never met before, would become a good mentor and helpful friend in his future life.

宣惠良是ー个值得大书特书的人,自1982年5月初识钱宗仁,半年中帮助他办了三件事。第一步是工人转干部。宣惠良打算把钱宗仁调到阿克苏地区的中学教书,这里图书资料、学习条件都比林场强。先联系二中,二中推托他有湖南口音, 不宜教学而未接收;又联系四中,四中说必须把钱宗仁由工人转干部才能算作正式教师。宣惠良跑了文教处、农林处都还顺利,到了地区人事处卡了壳,一个干事说, エ转干要9月份统ー审批,还要等ー个月。 Xuan Huiliang was the person worthy of great praise. It was him who had helped Qian Zongren with three things in half a year since he met Qian in early May 1982. The first thing was to transfer him from a worker into a cadre. Xuan Huiliang had planned to transfer Qian Zongren to teach at a middle school in Aksu, where the library resources and learning conditions were better than those in the forest experiment station. Therefore, he first contacted No.2 Middle School, but was refused for the excuse that Qian Zongren had Hunan accent, which was not suitable for teaching. Then, he contacted No.4 Middle School, saying that Qian Zongren must be transferred from a worker to a cadre before he could be considered as a formal teacher. Things in the Department of Culture and Education and the Department of Agriculture and Forestry were going smoothly. However, he was stuck in the Regional Personnel Department. An official said that the transfer approval would not be processed until September, and there was still a month.

谁知在此期间,钱宗仁收到北京工业学院杨维奇教授的来电,让他速寄档案, 北エ院要破格录取他为1982年的数学系研究生。机不可失。偏巧钱宗仁的档案又找不到了。1980年新疆石油管理局南疆石油指挥部刚刚上马,需要师资和翻译人才,欢迎钱宗仁去,因此钱宗仁的档案寄到了石油部门,谁知到第二年此单位属于关停并转企业,又不需要人了,钱宗仁的档案就这样遗失了。 It was during this period that Qian Zongren received a call from Yang Weiqi from the Beijing Institute of Technology, asking him to send the archive quickly. Beijing Institute of Technology made an exception to admit him as a graduate student in the Department of Mathematics in 1982. It was an opportunity not to be missed. Coincidentally, Qian Zongren's archive could not be found again. In 1980, the Southern Xinjiang Oil Command of the Xinjiang Petroleum Administration was just established and needed teaching staff and translators. Qian Zongren was invited. Therefore, he sent his archive to the oil unit. Unexpectedly, it was closed down and transferred into an enterprise in the second year. No more people were needed, and Qian Zongren's archive was lost.

北京工业学院二次来电催促,宣惠良的心情和钱宗仁一样焦急。他跑到人事部门去游说,讲述钱宗仁的遭遇,希望得到他们的同情,补办ー份档案材料,请他们提前批准钱宗仁エ转干,然后将工转干的一套手续作为他的新档案寄发北京エ业学院。然而那些干事竟毫不动心,拒绝了老宣的请求。 When the second call came, Xuan Huiliang was as anxious as Qian Zongren. He went to the Ministry of Personnel, and told them about Qian Zongren’s experience. By doing so, he wanted to evoke their sympathy so that they might reissue the archival materials and approve his transfer in advance. If things went well, Qian could send a set of transfer procedures as his new archive to Beijing Institute of Technology. However, those officials were unmoved and refused Xuan's request.

宣传部长不掌人事权、财权,却有着正义感。尽管处处碰壁,他仍要成全钱宗仁。宣惠良只好超越他的职权范围（这不大合乎中国办事情的手续）,将钱宗仁的转干报表、自传、鉴定ーー复制,盖上宣传部的大印,寄到北京去了。 Though the Minister of Propaganda was not in charge of personnel and finance, he possessed a sense of justice. Regardless of the obstacles, he still wanted to help Qian Zongren to achieve his goals. Therefore, Xuan Huiliang had to exceed his authority (which is not in line with Chinese procedures)-he copied Qian 's transfer report, autobiography, and identification, stamped them with the seal of the Propaganda Department, and sent them to Beijing.

但毕竟晚了一步,延误了时机,使钱宗仁到北京工业学院当研究生一事又告吹。宣惠良很伤感,对某些机构的衙门作风以及对人オ的难以容忍的冷漠感到义愤,同时为钱宗仁这样的人才被埋没而痛惜。多少良机,钱宗仁ーー丧失了。他对宣惠良说:“我已被逼上梁山,义无反顾,不管成败如何,我要背水ー战,不管采取什么方式,要继续深造,决不容许自己退下来。”那心境很有些悲壮。 However, it was too late. Qian Zongren again lost the chance to become a graduate student at Beijing Institute of Technology. On the one hand, Xuan Huiliang was upset, feeling indignant about the bureaucratic style of certain institutions and angry with the intolerable indifference towards people; on the other hand, he lamented that talents like Qian Zongren were undiscovered. Many opportunities had faded away before him. He said to Xuan Huiliang with a tragic state of mind, " I have burned my bridges and have no choice. No matter what method I take, I will continue my studies and will never allow myself to retreat. "

一波未平,一波又起。《光明日报》驻新疆记者站的同志给钱宗仁来了一封信,告诉他自治区常委富文同志对钱宗仁的使用有一个批件,大意是应就近调塔里木农垦大学试用后任教。这自然使钱宗仁心中浮起了新的希望,他找到阿克苏地区组织部,这份批件竟被压在抽屉里两个月无人过问。组织部的回答是:我们管区以上的干部,包括教授、讲师及工程师;像你这样的人不归我们管,即使归我们管, 塔里木农大是农牧渔业部和建设兵团合办的学校,我们也管不着。于是,这份批件从组织部转到了文教处,文教处又将此件压下无人过问。宣惠良出面追问,从ー堆杂乱的文件中找出批件后,再次做说客,带着批件,乘车赶到距阿克苏100多公里的阿拉尔,找到塔里木农大的领导,又跑到实验林场和地区人事处,苦口婆心,终于使钱宗仁在1983年初来到塔里木农垦大学报到。 Misfortunes never come singly. A comrade from the Xinjiang News Station of Guangming Daily sent a letter to Qian Zongren, informing him that Comrade Fuwen, the standing committee of autonomous region, had a document of approval for the use of Qian Zongren, to the effect that he should be transferred to Tarim University to teach on a trial basis. This naturally raised new hope in Qian Zongren's heart. He visited the Organization Department in Aksu, only to find that the document was actually left untouched in a drawer for two months. The response from the department was that " We manage cadres above the district level, including professors, lecturers, and engineers. People like you are not in our charge. Even if you are under our control, Tarim University is a school jointly run by the Ministry of Agriculture, Forestry, and Fisheries, and the Xinjiang Production and Construction Corps, which is not our responsibility. "As a result, the document was transferred from the Organization Department to the Culture and Education Division, where it was left unattended. After inquiring, Xuan Huiliang found the approval document from the cluttered pile of files. Once again, he acted as a lobbyist. With the document, he drove to Alaer, which is more than 100 kilometers away from Aksu, to find the leader of Tarim University and go to the forest experiment station and regional personnel department. Finally, with painstaking efforts, Qian Zongren was able to enroll in Tarim University in early 1983.

钱宗仁感叹地说:“中国,要是多一些宣部长这样的干部就好了。”是啊,如果我们的人事部门的干部,都能像宣惠良一样常给自己的心加加温,中国的事情将会好办得多。 Qian Zongren sighed, "If there were more cadres like Minister Xuan in China, it would be great. " That’s true. If the cadres in our personnel department could always warm people’s hearts like Xuan Huiliang, things in China would be much easier to handle. "

钱宗仁到塔里木农垦大学任教,终于结束了二十年的坎坷生涯,但愿他在今后的生活中不再扮演悲剧的角色,但愿他能成功。但愿! Qian Zongren's teaching at Tarim University marked the end of his 20-year bumpy life. I hope he will not live a miserable life in the future. I hope he can succeed!

“过去的都已过去了。我今后二十年能为人民做些事,得到人们的理解,我的心就得以满足,它将证明我前二十年的努力没有白费。我想通过自己的努力得到社会的承认,使ー些刚开始发奋自学又遇到挫折的青年产生信心,也让那些曾打击和阻拦我前进的人看看,小草要破土而出,任什么人也压不下去。我对生活充满着信心,相信命运是可以抗争的。奇迹多是在厄运中出现的。最后,我希望我们现行的政策稳定,哪怕是半个世纪也好。” "Past should be the past. If I can do something for the people in the next 20 years and gain their understanding, I will be satisfied. It will prove that my efforts in the first 20 years were not in vain. I want to gain recognition from society through my own efforts so that some young people who have just started self-study and encounter setbacks can have confidence, and those who have hit and got in my way will see that even the grass will break out of the earth, and no one can press it down. I am full of confidence in life and believe that fate can be changed. Miracles often happen in times of adversity. Finally, I hope that our current policies remain stable, even if it only lasts for half a century. "

我相信,钱宗仁讲述这一切时,他的心是淌着泪的。一定。 I believe that when Qian Zongren recounted all this, his heart must be sore. Definitely.

人生,这就是人生。这里,有辛酸,有劳苦,也有人的创造和热カ,有污浊,更多的却是人的光彩;这里有痛苦,也有克制、忍耐,更多的是自我牺牲中所获得的创造的快乐。 This is life where there is not only bitterness, toil, impurity, but also human creativity, passion and the brilliance of man; there is pain, restraint, endurance, and the joy obtained from self-sacrifice.

钱宗仁身上印着过去的痕迹,也埋藏着未来的种子,他脸上的表情,他的姿态, 都表现出思想、热情和生命的波动,你甚至能听见他汹涌的内心的呼声。他的经历,他的性格,他的人品,他的精神,都使我想起塔里木河畔的胡杨,那会流泪的树。 Qian Zongren is imprinted with traces of the past, but also buried with the seeds of the future. The expression on his face, his posture, show the fluctuation of thought, enthusiasm and life. You can even hear his surging inner voice. His experience, personality, character, and spirit-all remind me of the weeping willows by the Tarim River.

钱宗仁就是ー棵扎根在阿拉尔的胡杨,ー个曾被忽略的倔强的灵魂。在沙漠旱风的席卷和盐碱的吞噬中,那被压抑、被扭曲的生命终究要伸直它的躯干。他不抱怨,不灰心,因为,他知道以往个人的悲剧,也是整个社会的不幸。生活前进了, 他正和人民和国家一道共享春天的温馨。 Qian Zongren is just like a Populus euphratica rooted in Alaer, a stubborn soul that has been neglected. In the sweeping desert wind and the swallowing of salt and alkali, the suppressed and distorted life will straighten its trunk after all. He doesn't complain or lose heart, because he knows that the personal tragedy in the past is also the misfortune of the whole society. Life is moving forward, and he is sharing the warmth of spring with the people and the country.

哦,胡杨树,壮美的树! Oh, Populus euphratica, what a magnificent tree!

哦,胡杨泪,悲壮的泪! Oh, Populus euphratica tears, what tragic tears!

（原载《文汇月刊》1984年第4期） (Originally published in Wen Hui Monthly in the fourth issue of 1984)

神圣忧思录

A Deliberation on the Divine

——中小学教育危境纪实 - A record of the critical situation of primary and middle education

张敏 Zhang Min

我们从来都有前人递过来的ー个肩膀可以踩上去的,忽然,那肩膀闪开了,叫我们险些儿踩个空。 ——作者题记 We have always stood on the shoulders of our predecessors. Suddenly, the shoulders dodged, causing us to almost step on the air. -The author’s inscription

鲁哀公十六年,孔子要死了。 In the 16th year of Lu Aigong, Confucius was dying.

他拄着拐杖倚门而唱:“太山坏乎!梁柱摧乎!哲人萎乎!” 唱着唱着就抽噎起来。七天后,他死了。 Leaning against the door on crutches, he sang and sobbed, "Mount Tai crumbles！The great beam breaks! The wise man withers away!" Seven days later, he passed away.

他ー生到处备受冷眼,累累若丧家之犬,明知不可为而为之,到头来还是凄凉而死。然而奇怪的是,那原已衰微的古老文明竟靠着他猛カ地ー推,又滚滚碾过了两千年！ Given the cold shoulder, he was as tired as a stray dog all his life. He attempted the impossible, but died miserably in the end. However, what is strange is that the ancient civilization, which was already declining, was pushed hard by him and rolled over for another two thousand years!

我们评价不了孔子这一推的功罪,却朦胧地感觉到,ー个巨大文明的延续竟如此依赖于传递者的伟カ,实在是ー种很神秘的历史现象。 We cannot evaluate the merit and sin of Confucius's push, but we can feel vaguely that it is a very mysterious historical phenomenon that the continuation of a great civilization should depend so much on the power of the transmitter.

这运载、传递文明的伟力,应该是极神圣的。我们是仰仗这神圣的传递カオ成为这个星球上拥有最悠久历史的民族的。 This great power carrying and transmitting civilization should be extremely sacred. It is through this divine transmission that we have become the nation with the longest history on the planet.

曾几何时,历史已成重荷,文明也显古老,我们欲求自强不息,屹立于世界民族之林,而那文明传递的神圣伟力,那如孔子作为教育家的“不怨天、不尤人”的执着精神而今是否仍然存在? Once upon a time, history had become a heavy load, and civilization was also ancient. We desired to strive for self-improvement, and stood standing erect on the world. However, do the holy power of the civilization transmission, and the persistent spirit such as Confucius’s “not complaining about heaven, and others," still exist today?

ー、文明的断裂

Chapter One Rupture of Civilization

望子成龙众生相 All Living Creatures Look Forward to Their Children's Success

儿子六岁了。想到这只知贪玩的小子从此就要背上书包这副“枷锁”,我不免心头有些黯然。是人都得经过这座文明的“炼狱”,我是懂的。然而,出去跑了一阵入学的门路才知道,我对如今北京城里上小学的艰难,竟同傻乎乎的儿子ー样浑然不知。 My son was already six years old. I couldn't help but feel a bit dejected at the thought that this playful boy would be carrying the "shackles" of his backpack from now on. I understood that all people had to go through the “purgatory” of this civilization. However, it was only when I went out to find a way to enroll that I realized my ignorance about the difficulties of going to primary school in Beijing today, just like my silly son.

煥热的七八月呵,不仅对高考生来说是“黑色的”残酷,对于那些从“十月怀胎”起就一往情深地进行各种名堂的胎教的年轻父母们来说,也是焦灼甚而可怕的。 The scorching July and August were not only "black" and cruel for college entrance examination candidates, but also anxious and even scary for young parents who had devoted themselves to all kinds of prenatal education since the beginning of "ten months' pregnancy".

年年每逢此刻,在教育神殿的门槛前,匍匐着数不清的颤悸的心。 Every year at this moment, in front of the temple of education pilgrimaged countless pious and worried people.

似乎只在这一刻,这殿堂的神圣才是无与伦比的。 It seemed that the sanctity of this temple was unparalleled only at this moment.

我也到了该领儿子朝它跪去的时候啦! It was time for me to lead my son into the temple of education.

恍惚间,当年父亲牵我第一次上学的情景朦胧浮现,记得我蹦蹦跳跳地蹿进校园,那校门好像平常极了。 In a trance, I remembered the scene when my father led me to school for the first time-I went into the campus with a cheerful air, and the school gate seemed to be very ordinary.

如今轮到我们这一代领儿子去进哪家校门,就非同寻常了。它不仅将决定孩子今后的命运,而且仿佛还关系着家长的荣辱。学校是分重点非重点的,这区别似乎是宿命地把往后的前程、等级、贵贱都在这一次选择中基本敲定了。每一位年轻的家长都深信,给孩子挑一所“重点”就像他们自己重新选择ー次人生。但恼人的是,决定命运的关键,偏又不像高考生那样可以硬碰硬凭成绩分优劣,而是由户口决定的——学龄儿童按户口所在地划片就近入学。于是早在每年一二月间,北京城里便有一场转户ロ的风潮悄然开始了。 Nowadays, it was crucial of which school we led our sons to attend, which would not only determine the future fate of our children, but also seem to have a bearing on the honor of the parents. Schools were divided into two types- key schools and non-key schools. The choice between them seemed to basically finalize children’s future, rank and status. Therefore, every young parent was convinced that choosing a "key school" for the child was like choosing a second life for themselves. Annoyingly, the key point that determined their children’s fate was not good grades, with which college entrance examinees were admitted into school, but the household registration- school-age children were assigned to the nearest school according to their household registration. As a result, as early as January and February every year, a wave of household transfers quietly started in Beijing.

这真是一幕充满机智、狡黠乃至谎言伎俩的滑稽戏。偶闻其中一鳞半爪,便叫我为之恻然。 This was really a funny scene full of wit, cunning and even lies. Occasionally, I felt sad when hearing something about it.

有“先见之明”者,早在腹中成胎之际,便把户口落进亲友家中,待孩子生下便拥有了“片内”户口,于是就像前清吃“铁秆庄稼”的旗人似的无忧无虑了。 Parents with "foresight" tended to settle down their children’s household registrations at the homes of relatives or friends as early as pregnancy. When their children were born, they had a household registration "within the area", which made them as carefree as the banner people (qi ren) who ate "iron straw crops" in the Qing Dynasty.

“片内”有亲戚的主儿其实不必这等性急。待孩子长成,再同亲戚去换房站办理户口和住房证的交换手续,但并不搬家,“片内”户口照样唾手可得。 Those who had relatives "within the area" actually didn’t need to be so anxious. When their children grew up, they could go to the exchange station with their relatives to apply for household registration and housing certificate exchange procedures. There was no need to move, and the household registration "within the area" was extremely easy to obtain.

只苦了“片内”无亲无友的了,那就得付出些代价。“片外”某君以四十平方米住房换了“片内”二十七平方米,在寸土寸金的北京城牺牲十三平方米的住房去换个孩子的“重点户口”,虽说亏得狠了些,也是情愿的。 Those who had no relatives "within the area" were in trouble, and had to pay a high price. Someone living "outside the area" exchanged his 40 square meters of housing for a 27-square-meter house "within the area". Although it was a great loss to exchange the 13 square meters of housing in Beijing, where every inch of land was precious, for a "key household registration ". He was willing to do so.

还有更惨的。黄城根南东路口有个售货员,为挤进“片内”,百般换房,不料换了一家住私房的,他把公房让出,那边却不准他再进私房,最后竟落得在“片内”一个门洞里栖身。可怜天下父母心呵! It could be worse. There was a salesperson living at the Huangchenggen South East Intersection. In order to squeeze into a house "within the area", he tried every means to change houses. Unexpectedly, he gave up his public house for a private house where he was not allowed to enter, ending up living in a doorway "within the area". Every parent was admirable!

真换房的、假换房的、认干亲的、假离婚假结婚的,北京人什么招数想不出来? 一位母亲领着孩子到某重点小学哭诉,孩子他爹惨遭车祸身亡,只好寄养姨家,虽无“片内”户口,学校怎忍推出?入得学来,那孩子才说:“我爸活得好好的。” People in Beijing had their own ways-real house swapping, fake house swapping, relatives recognizing, fake divorce, fake marriage…A mother led her child to a key primary school and cried, saying that her husband had been killed in a car accident. She had no choice but to foster the child at aunt’s house. Although there was no household registration "within the area", the school accepted her child. After the child get into school, he said, "My father is alive and well."

自然,这些都还是平民的招数,有的人是不必耍这些雕虫小技的。可户口对老百姓来说,却非同小可,乃至某单位因施工将大门改在另一条街上,引起轩然大波——门牌的移动,立即发生划片归属的变异。 Naturally, these were tracks of civilians, while some people didn't have to play these tricks. For people, the household registration was so important that it would cause an uproar if a certain unit changed a gate to another street due to construction- the movement of the doorplate would immediately cause a variation in the ownership of the region.

也自然,重点小学的教师们是深知其中奥妙的。每年二月后,需得挨户核实户口和人头,近年来也不得不学点福尔摩斯的本事。每当招生季节随着酷夏来临,重点学校门前便车水马龙,水泄不通。教师们都做好充分准备来迎接这一年一度的灾难和“战争”。家长们围着他们央求哀告,哭的、吵的、闹的、作揖的、要下跪的、摔户口本的、赖着不走的。人们把ー颗颗滚烫的爱子之心蘸着辛酸的泪水捧给他们;也用各种精心编制的甜言蜜语、许愿承诺、捶胸顿足、瞎话谎言来浸泡他们、软化他们、激怒他们;右邻左舍的各种关系户、菜店、房管所、派出所、煤气站、副食店、居委会等等,也都蜂拥而至,来索还对他们预先支付的种种人情、照顾和恩惠…… It was also natural that teachers of key primary schools knew it as well. Every year after February, they had to go door to door to verify the household registration and headcount. Therefore, they also learned something from Sherlock Holmes in recent years. The enrollment season was in the depths of summer when key schools were often packed with traffic, and teachers were well prepared for this annual disaster and " war ". Parents around them were pleading, crying, bowing, ready to kneel, smashing the household registration, lingering on…Some presented them their love for children with bitter tears; some soaked, softened, and infuriated them with all kinds of elaborate sweet words, promises, infuriation and lies; connections from vegetable shops, housing offices, police stations, gas stations, grocery stores, neighborhood committees… all flocked in to demand repayment of the various favors and care paid to them in advance…

断不清的官司又移交到区教育局。家长们便又一拨儿接ー拨儿朝那里拥去。局长像个见不得人的“通缉犯”,出出进进戴一副墨镜,就怕被人盘问:“您是某局长吗?”一旦被人认出,立即陷入重围。人们把他堵在办公室里,不让他做事,不放他回家,有的索性把孩子往他怀里一推就走。孩子在院里撒欢儿,饿了渴了也来闹他。教育局成了幼儿园…… The unresolved lawsuits were transferred to the district education bureau, and thus parents also flocked there one after another. When coming in and out, the director wore sunglasses like an invisible 'wanted criminal'. What he feared most was that someone would ask him if he was the director. Once recognized, he would immediately fall into a tight siege. People stuck him in the office, without allowing him to work or go home. Some even pushed their children into his arms and left. These children had fun in the yard, and made troubles for him when they were hungry or thirsty. The education bureau had become a kindergarten…

教师和局长就是浑身长嘴也说服不了家长不要迷信“重点”,因为办“重点”的事实是路人皆知的。只是痴心的父母们并不知道,“重点”的承受力不是无限的, 如此倾盆大雨地灌将进去,“重点”的优势便立即化为乌有。倘若大都市里那种在商店、地铁、公园、车站等等到处叫人头皮发麻的拥挤状态一旦侵入宁静的校园,那么小学生上课这件极要紧的事,也只好像大街上挤车和胡同里排队上厕所ー样讲究不得斯文了,这么ー来,倒真的把重点非重点全抹平了。 No matter how eloquent the teachers and the director were, they couldn’t persuade the infatuated parents not to blindly believe in "key schools" because everyone had known it. What they didn’t know was that there was a limitation on bearing capacity, and this overwhelming influx would obliterate the advantages of "key schools". If the mind-numbing congestion of shops, subways, parks, stations, which happened in big cities, intruded on the quiet campus, then the extremely important thing for elementary school students to attend classes was just like squeezing cars on the street and queuing up in alleys to go to the restroom, which was not polite anymore. To this point, there would be no difference between "key schools" and "non-key schools".

其实,就在望子成龙的家长们正使出浑身解数拼命奔“重点”的今天,北京市各区教育局却都在那里为绝迹多年的小学二部制终不可避免地要大面积卷土重来而ー筹莫展呢。计划生育部门已经发出警报:从今年开始,中华人民共和国成立后第二次生育高峰人口开始进入小学。也许,它就像ー场陡然涌来的洪峰,会将大地上所有的河道、沟渠、洼地全都涨满、挤裂、弥平…… As a matter of fact, while parents who had been looking forward to their children's success were now trying all means to send them to "key schools", the education bureaus of various districts in Beijing were struggling to find a solution for the inevitable resurgence of the long extinct two-shift system. The family planning department had issued an alert-starting from this year, the population of the second baby boom after the founding of the People's Republic of China began to enter primary schools. Perhaps, it would be like a sudden flood peak coming to fill, squeeze and flatten all the rivers, ditches and marshes on the earth…

西城区目前在校生四万五千余名,未来三年内将以每年一万名的幅度递增,到1990年预计要猛增到七万名。眼下提前开始扩建校舍的学校已经借用别处教室实行了二部制。而对大多数学校来说,无论新建扩建,还都既无资金又没地皮。 Xicheng District currently had more than 45000 students, which would increase at an annual rate of 10, 000 in the next three years. By 1990, the number was expected to soar to 70, 000. Schools that were now expanding their school buildings ahead of time had borrowed classrooms elsewhere to implement the two-shift system. For most schools, no matter they were newly built or expanded, they had neither funds nor land.

宣武区目前小学九百个班,到1990年将增加到ー千四百多个班。那里教育局的同志惊呼:“我们是在毫无准备的条件下遭遇这个人口高峰的,校舍奇缺,师资来源枯竭,这学还咋能办好?” 专家们也把人口压迫教育的危急状况,列为中国未来教育十大危机之首。 At present, there were 900 classes in primary schools in Xicheng District, which would increase to more than 1,400 by 1990. The comrades of that education bureau exclaimed, "We encountered this population peak under unprepared conditions-there are no enough school buildings and teachers. How can the schools run well?" Experts also listed the critical situation of population pressure on education as the top ten future education crises in China.

每ー个盘算着自己那个“小皇帝”的锦绣前程的家长,或许就像洪峰尚未到达前的江河两岸的一木一石,对快要降临的灾难是漠然置之的。中国人自古以来就虔诚地笃信着学堂神圣的教化功能和“师哉!桐子之命也”的信条,他们深信孩子只有送进去オ会出息,他们把对未来的希望像赌注ー样全都押在上面,绝不去理会那些危言耸听之谈的。 Parents who were contemplating the bright future for their "little emperors" might be like the trees and stones on both sides of the river, which were indifferent to the impending disaster before the peak of the flood arrived. Since ancient times, Chinese people had been devoutly believing in the sacred educational function of schools and the creed of " Teachers are who decide the fate of children! " Therefore, parents were convinced that only by sending their children to "key schools" could they be successful. They bet all their hopes for the future like making a bet, and never paid attention to that scaremongering.

我想,悲哀也正在这里! I think this is also a kind of sorrow!

麻木中的预警声

Early Warning Sound in Numbness

每年七八月间,当翘首以待却又胆战心惊的人们穿梭往来于各大、中、小学的时候,有一个与他们密切相关的信息偏偏很少引人注意。那是ー个很微弱的声音, 但却年年必定夹杂在招生热潮的呼吁声中—— Every year in July and August, when people who were eagerly awaited but apprehensive shuttled back and forth among universities, middle schools and primary schools, a message closely related to them received little attention. That was a very faint voice, but it must be mixed with the appeal of the enrollment boom every year-

1986年8月14日《光明日报》的ー则消息透露:“今年师院的生源比往年更困难……北京的优秀中学毕业生不报师范,不选择教师职业的问题日趋严重。 On August 14,1986, a message from the Guangming Daily revealed, "It’s more difficult for normal schools to recruit students this year than ever before…In Beijing, the problem of excellent middle school graduates not applying for normal education and not choosing to be teachers was becoming increasingly severe.

同年9月9日《中国青年报》也以《师范院校为何依然门庭冷落》为题发表ー篇调查:“‘帮我们呼吁一下吧,师范院校招生太惨了。长此以往,教育事业将不堪设想！’教师节即将到来之际,作为培养教师的摇篮之一——北京师范学院的同志却对记者发出了这样的呼声。” On September 9th of the same year, the China Youth Daily also published a survey entitled Why are normal colleges still left out in the cold? As Teachers’ Day was approaching, a comrade from Beijing Normal University-one of the cradles for training teachers，had made such a call to reporters, " Please help us make an appeal! It’s very difficult for normal schools to recruit students. In the long run, the education industry will collapse sooner or later! "

当中小学的大门几乎要被滚滚而来的学生挤破的同时,师范学院这边却门庭冷落、一派凄清。在这冷热、盛衰之间仿佛公然宣称着一个荒诞的逻辑:越是希望子女受到良好教育的人们偏偏越是看不起教育这个行当。在这逻辑后面似乎还暗伏着ー个不祥的怪圈:社会的教育功能恰恰在生产着非教育的社会力量,继而形成ー种自我窒息的反作用力,结果是人才创造得越多教育反而越萎缩。长此以往,望子成龙之辈还会有什么指望? At the same time, when middle and primary schools were highly favored by people, with a stable source of students, the normal colleges were left out in the cold. There seemed to be an absurd logic openly proclaimed between these enthusiasm and indifference, ups and downs. That was, the more people hoped for their children to receive a good education, the more they tended to look down on the profession of education. Behind this logic, there also seemed to be an ominous circle lurking- the educational function of society was precisely producing non-educational social forces, which in turn formed a self-suffocating reaction force. As a result, the more talents were created, the more education would shrink. In the long run, what hope would there be for those who aspired to their children’s success?

我常常被眼下中国的各种怪圈弄得迷惑不解,诸如离婚越难反而离婚的越多,盖房越多城市里人的生存空间越窄,等等,叫人摸不清船究竟是湾在哪里?但我相信,社会机制的紊乱,总有它合乎规律的根源。这怪圈,说到底是规律对人类的报复。荒诞的逻辑一旦公然行世,恰恰证明了某种社会机制的荒诞,而这荒诞说不定正是真理的二律背反。 Nowadays, I had often been puzzled by various strange circles in China. For example, the more difficult it was to divorce, the more divorces there would be: the more houses were built, the narrower city life space was. These circles were very confusing. But I did believe that the disordered social mechanism always had its regular roots. In the final analysis, it turned out to be the revenge of the law on humanity. Once this absurd logic came into being openly, it just proved the absurdity of a certain social mechanism, and this absurdity might be the opposite of truth.

他叫田畅,父母都是教师。高中毕业时,他却以“这辈子不吃教师这碗饭”的不容商量的坚决态度,向我们显示了一颗早熟、隐痛、凉透了的心—— He was Tian Chang, and his parents were teachers. When he graduated from senior high school, his non-negotiable resolute attitude of "not being a teacher" indicated that he was a premature boy with an arching, cold heart-

他太清楚中学教师这种职业在社会上的档次了。用不着别人向他宣传、动员。十六年之久的酸甜苦辣、耳濡目染,使一个教师的儿子在高考志愿表“是否服从分配”ー栏里,毫不迟疑地写道:“除师范院校外,其他院校都服从。” He knew all too well the rank of the middle school teacher in society. There was no need for others to publicize or mobilize him. After sixteen years of osmosis, the teachers' son wrote without hesitation the content "Except for normal colleges and universities, I will obey all distributions of other colleges and universities " in the blank "whether or not to obey distribution" when filling in the college entrance examination volunteer form.

他像躲瘟疫ー样竭カ躲开父母所从事的职业,这在有着子继父业的深厚传统的中国人看来,是否有些“叛逆”之嫌? He dodged his parents' profession like hiding from the plague. Was this suspected of "rebellion" in the eyes of Chinese people who had a deep tradition of succeeding to father's chairmanship?

其实,世上没有比父亲更叫他敬重的人了。每当夜间,在那十二平方米的斗室里,父亲怕影响他和弟弟做功课,总是独自躲在角落里、戴着耳机、几乎是贴着荧光屏默默看电视。父亲总是等他们的功课做完了,オ使用那张饭桌批改作业。这时他躺在行军床上瞅着父亲的背影,心里有股说不出的酸楚。 In fact, his father was the man he respected most in the world. Every night, in the 12-square-meter small room, his father was afraid of affecting him and his younger brother who were doing homework, and always hid alone in a corner, wearing headphones, almost silently watching TV on the screen. After they had finished their homework, his father began to use the table for homework correction. Whenever this time, he lay on the camp bed and gazed at his father's back, with unspeakable sadness in his heart.

他的父亲,ー个当年上海复兴中学的高オ生、1957年北大地质地理系的本科毕业生、二十多年来出版过多本著作和译著的知识分子,竟落到连ー张书桌都不能独自占有的境地,这让他这个80年代的中学生是无论如何也想不通的。父亲所经历的是一段叫他不能理解的历史:学地理专业的大学生被分配到通州农校教书,农校解散后,又转到顺义ー个公社的戴帽中学,整天领着学生深翻土地、夏收秋种、大办沼气;自己学的专业丝毫用不上,却是数学、物理、化学、英语、俄语什么都教过。后来妈妈在北京幼师毕业,也到了顺义。直到父亲在那里任教满二十五年オ回到城里,等待全家的却是ー间十二平方米的小屋。 His father was a high school student from Shanghai Fuxing Middle School. In 1957, he graduated from the Department of Geology and Geography of Peking University. The intellectual who had published multiple books and translations over the past 20 years should fall into such a situation where he couldn't even own a desk himself. This made him, a high school student in the 1980s, unable to imagine it. What his father experienced was a history that he could not understand. Majoring in geography, he was assigned to teach at Tongzhou Agricultural School. After the school was dissolved, he then transferred to a hooded middle school in a commune in Shunyi, where he led his students to dig deep into the land, harvest and plant crops in summer and autumn, and produce large-scale biogas; except his major, he had taught many other subjects such as mathematics, physics, chemistry, English, and Russian. Later, his mother graduated from Beijing Preschool Teachers College and went to Shunyi. When his father returned to the city after 25 years of teaching there, he was greeted by a small house of 12 square meters.

他和弟弟就在那大人与小孩轮流分享饭桌、每晚拆桌支床的岁月里渐渐长大了。当他们哥俩终于都熬过十三岁时,那条难以企及的分房标准线居然也渐渐在望了——按照规定:中学教师人均面积三点五平方米以下、子女十三岁以上,且夫妇双方都在教育部门工作者具有分房资格。但就在这时,妈妈得癌症死了。小屋里剩下三个男人,人均面积平方米数重新突破三点五…… He and his younger brother had grown up in those years when adults and children took turns to share the table and dismantled it to support the bed every night. When the two brothers finally passed the age of thirteen, they actually reached the standard line of housing distribution that was originally difficult to reach. According to the regulations, those middle school teachers who met the following three conditions were qualified for housing allocation. Firstly, the per capita area of middle school teachers’ families was less than 3.5 square meters. Secondly, their children should be over 13 years old. Lastly, the couples should all work in the education department. But at that moment, his mother died of cancer. Three men were left in the small house, with per capita square meter again exceeding 3.5 square meter…

诚然,他是无カ改变父辈的命运的。但如果给他选择的权利,他当然拒绝承袭父辈的命运。父亲在给他以知识遗产的同时,无形中也给了他另ー种悲剧性的遗产:他不能走父亲的路。 It was true that he was unable to change the fate of his parents. But if he was given the right to choose, he would certainly refuse to inherit the fate of them. While his father gave him an intellectual legacy, he also gave him another tragic legacy. That was, he could not follow his father's path.

高考成绩出来了。老师找他谈话:“以你的分数,报考清华师资班和师院比较合适,不然,你就只能读大专了。” After the college entrance examination results came out, his teacher talked to him, "With your score, it is more appropriate for you to apply for the Tsinghua teacher class and normal schools, otherwise you will have to study in a junior college."

他摇摇头,没有犹豫就选择了北京建工学院工业与民用建筑系。那是ー个两年制的走读的大专,可同盖房子有关。呵,ー个孩子的房子梦! He shook his head and unhesitatingly chose the Department of Industrial and Civil Architecture of Beijing Institute of Construction Engineering. It was a two-year, non-residential junior college related to house construction. Ah! It was a child’s dream of house!

我们能责备他的选择吗? Could we blame him for his choice?

他姓罗,做中学教员到70岁オ退休。此刻,我同这位饱经沧桑已入耄耋之年的老人,坐在静静的一隅,听他像是从极远处对我说—— He, whose surname was Luo, retired as a middle school teacher at the age of 70. At this moment, I was sitting in a quiet corner with this old man, who had experienced the vicissitudes of life and been in his eighties, and listening to him as if he had said to me from a very far distance.

如今教书先生没人干了,大伙儿都挺纳闷。其实要说缘故,也明明白白。人活着总得有个盼头,盼国家好,世道好,自个儿和家里人也好,活得不费劲,再长点能耐,做点正经事。有这么个盼头让他奔着,他活着就带劲儿了。 Nowadays, everyone was puzzled that no one wanted to be a teacher. In fact, the reason was very clear. People had to have something to look forward to in their lives- hoping for a prosperous country, a good world; families' living a happy life without efforts; learning more skills and doing something meaningful. With these hopes, people were alive with something to look forward to.

我是1912年生人。父亲ー辈子做小职员,月薪二十ー块大洋,一家人生活还算过得去,我还能读私学,十九岁小学毕业。成人了,总想独立,就去考中等师范,吃住都有着落了。毕业后做小学教员,挣四十五块钱。那时不兴涨エ资,终身就这四十五块。当时警察月薪是八块,去官府里办事也就二十多块,科长也没小学教员挣得多。中学教员的薪水还要高呢。 I was born in 1912. My father worked as a clerk all his life, earning a monthly salary of 20 silver dollars. My family lived a decent life and I was able to attend private school. When I was 19 years old, I graduated from primary school. As an adult, I always wanted to be independent, so I took the entrance examination for a middle normal school which provided food and accommodation. After graduation, I worked as a primary school teacher and earned forty-five yuan every month. At that time, there was no wage increase, and it was only 45 yuan for a lifetime. By contrast, the monthly salary of police officers was eight yuan. When they went to work in the government, they only earned over twenty yuan. The section chief did not earn as much as a primary school teacher. The salary of middle school teachers was even higher.

那天我和老友们聊起当年,人家都说知识分子清高。倒不是我们故意总瞧不起谁,教书的人讲究洁身自好,不愿去钻营,也没那份能耐,只觉着凭知识吃饭挺如意、挺干净。浑身的穿着打扮,就那么回事儿,倒给了别人ー种清高的印象。如今啊,你想清高还清高不起来呢! That day, when I talked with my old friends about the past, they all said that intellectuals were self-contained. In fact, we didn’t look down upon anyone intentionally. As teachers, we valued integrity, and were unwilling to curry favor with someone in authority for personal gain. We also didn’t have the ability. What we thought was that making a living with knowledge was very satisfactory and clean. We didn’t expect that our ordinary dress would give others a lofty impression. Nowadays, it was not so easy to be lofty!

我在小学教了七年后考上北京大学农学系。ー边上大学,ー边还教小学,自己供自己念书。读大学就是为了奔那个中学教员的职位。那会儿教员的身份可不像现在,多少人梦寐以求啊。当时考师范很难,一千多人去考,只取九十个,还能不优秀?你想干还未必有那个福气哩! After teaching in a primary school for seven years, I was admitted to the Department of Agronomy of Peking University. When I was learning at school, I also taught primary school to earn my bread and butter. The reason why I went to college was to be a middle school teacher. At that time, the status of teachers was very high, which was quite different from today. It was difficult to take the normal school entrance examination with over a thousand people taking the exam and only 90 admitted. Those who were able to pass the exam were all excellent. You might not have the blessing to be a teacher!

这辈子经历了不少事,人生也算看得清楚。1940年以后,苦得很,正抗战,吃混合面,挣的钱只能够自个儿ー张嘴。世道一艰难,教书的人就倒霉了。

I had experienced many things all my life, and known life clearly. After 1940, people lived a hard life. At that time, we were suffering from wars, and ate inferior flour. The money we earned could only support ourselves. When times were hard, the teachers were out of luck.

新中国成立后到这个学校,一口气又教了十年,教不动了オ回家。刚解放时, 心气儿是向上的,待遇也不低于30年代。1957年“反右”以后,知识分子就瘪了, 后来赶上“文革”,教师受的罪比谁都多,从此地位一落千丈。后来拨乱反正了,世道清明了,是不幸中之大幸,可是教师的地位,恕我直言,名曰升,实则降。其他行业的待遇上去了,教师上得慢。到现在,中小学教师究竟算不算知识分子,好像还是悬案。就是中教一、二级的老教师,月薪也不过百十块,还不抵大宾馆里的服务员。这到底是怎么个事? Since the foundation of People's Republic of China, I went to this school and had taught for ten years. I didn’t go home until I was unable to teach any more. In the early days of liberation, the overall environment was going in a good direction, and the treatment of teachers was as good as that in the 1930s. However, after the "anti-rightist" campaign, intellectuals were in an embarrassment. During the "Cultural Revolution", teachers were under a harsher criticism than others, making their status plummet since then. Later, it was fortunate that the society was brought out of chaos, and became stable. However, to tell you the truth, the status of teachers seemed to be higher, but it was actually lower than before. With the treatment of other professions going up, the status of teachers had improved slowly. Up to now, it was still uncertain that if primary and middle school teachers were considered to be intellectuals. Even senior teachers at the first and second levels of middle school education earned just over a hundred yuan per month, which was not comparable to the waiters in large hotels. What the hell was going on?

反正我就知道一个理儿,教师的身份跌得太低了,这个国家就麻烦了。各行各业要是都比教书有利可图,那谁还肯教书呢?人人都看着当官油水大,都眼红权力,这事儿就歲泥了。你可别小看这股劲,一成风气,扳过来就难了。社会上有各式各样的歪门邪道,可教师不能歪。不歪是对的,不是错的。可你顶得住吗?像我们当年,社会那么污浊,自个儿还能清高,有那份高薪水撑着哩。如今你撑撑试试? 拎着菜篮到自由市场ー转,你自个儿就跌份儿了。话说回来,这副穷酸相,别人也不正眼看咱,也不待敬咱,整个社会都不正眼看教育。这么ー来倒好,章程拧倒个儿了,学校办点子事得四处求爷爷告奶奶,求人给点施舍,给盖点房,像要饭似的, 这怎么行呢? Anyway, I knew that once the status of teachers had fallen too low, the country would be in trouble. If all walks of life were more profitable than teaching, who would teach? If everyone wanted to be an official because of benefits and power, no one would teach. It was the strength that should not be underestimated. Once it had become a common practice, it would be difficult to redress. In the society, there were all kinds of dishonest practices, but teachers should be righteous. Keeping ourselves was the right approach, not the wrong one. However, could you keep yourselves? In those days when society was so dark, we could still maintain dignity because of our high income. Nowadays, how could you keep yourself? Just take a vegetable basket to the free market, and you would lose your share. With this impoverished image, others wouldn’t take us seriously, let alone treat us with respect. Even the whole society didn’t take education seriously. In this case, the procedures were reversed. When schools wanted to do something, it had to seek help, ask for charity and house-building, just like begging for food. How could this be done?

亏待了教书的,要受报应的。人才中的上流甭想吸引过来。老北京有几所办出名气来的中学,像一中、惠文、贝满等等,当初都是靠待遇好把各中学棒的老师收罗去了。人同此心,情同此理。两种工作一个样儿的干,ー个待遇高,ー个待遇低,上哪儿?哪儿苦上哪儿?那是有条件的,得做出评价。自愿报名,给你戴朵大红花,之后就不理你了,行吗? Those who treated teachers badly would be punished, and couldn’t attract the upper class of talents. In Beijing, there were several famous middle schools, such as No.1 Middle School, Huiwen Middle School, Beiman Middle School, etc. They all relied on good treatment to collect the excellent teachers of each middle school at the beginning. People shared the same feelings. If there were two kinds of jobs, one with high salary and the other with low salary, which one would you choose? Would you choose the one that required more backbreaking efforts? Of course, it was conditional, and you had to make an evaluation. Furthermore, imagining that you signed up voluntarily, and were given a big red flower. Then, was it ok to ignore you?

人要不怕苦,不能老苦。 People should not be afraid of suffering, but they should not suffer all the time.

据悉,鉴于往年师范院校招生难的情况,今年北京市采取了一项特殊政策,即试行师范院校及师资班提前单独招生的办法。此项政策规定:志愿可以文理兼报,考试提前在5月初进行,凡是已被各师范院校录取的考生不得再报考其他院校,未被录取的还有资格参加7月份的全国高校统考。 As it was reported, in view of the difficulties in recruiting students in normal colleges and universities in previous years, Beijing had adopted a special policy this year. That was, to try out the method of recruiting students separately in advance for normal colleges and teacher classes. This policy stipulated that volunteers could apply for both liberal arts and sciences and the examination would be conducted in early May. Candidates who had been admitted to normal colleges and universities were not allowed to apply for other colleges and universities. While those who had not been admitted were also eligible to participate in the national college examination in July.

显然,这是ー项对于考生来说既有诱惑又不带风险的明智的政策,它起码可以在全国统考之前把ー批对高考没有把握的高中毕业生吸引到师范院校来。据《光明日报》今年4月19日的ー篇报道披露,往年冷寂的北京师范学院门庭若市,前往咨询的人们络绎不绝,达万人之多。 Obviously, it was a wise policy that had temptation but no risk for candidates. At least, it could attract a group of high school graduates, who were uncertain about the college entrance examination, to normal colleges and universities before the national unified examination. According to a report in Guangming Daily on April 19th this year, Beijing Normal University, which was cold and quiet in previous years, was crowded with people who went to consult in an endless stream, reaching as many as 10,000 people.

如今的高中生不那么简单,他们的狡黠有时是颇令人头痛的。招生部门已经发现某些不正常的端倪:不少考生表面上积极报了名,暗地里却做好准备到时漏考最后ー科,这样即使他考得再好,也注定不会被录取。他们竟然把这次师范提前单独招生变成了大考前碰碰运气、适应考场气氛、练练竞技状态的一次预演! Nowadays, high school students were not that simple, and their cunning could sometimes be quite troublesome. The admissions department had discovered some abnormal signs. Many candidates appeared to have actively registered, but secretly prepared to miss the final subject. Therefore, even if they had done well in the exam, they were destined not to be accepted. They turned this early enrollment of normal school students into a rehearsal to take chances, adapt to the atmosphere of the exam room, and practice their competitive state before the big exam!

呜呼!各家自有各家的高招。中国有句老话:酒香不怕巷子深。究竟是什么让他们对此退避三舍,这オ是值得我们深思的。 Alas! Each family had its own tricks. There was an old saying in China “Good wine needs no brush. "What made them retreat from it was worth pondering.

望而却步

Flinching

师范院校的生源枯竭已急煞当局,殊不知,已经拢进大门来的一批师范生,还更叫人焦心呢！ The authorities were in a state of emergency due to the depletion of student resources in normal universities. Little did they know that the group of normal students who had already been admitted was even more worrying!

师范生的分配去向理所当然是到中小学做教师,然而,如今这在他们中几乎已被视为畏途。年年分配关头,师范生们都各“逃遁”有术,这情形我们在后文还有详笔。这里我们不妨先来看一看,昔日师道的光彩,是何以在当代青年心目中暗淡下去的。师范生们绝不讳言这ー点。他们最可爱之处就是永远也学不会掩饰他们对一切的率真评价。 Naturally, normal students would be assigned to teach at primary and middle schools. However, it was now seen as a daunting path for them. Every year, when it was time for distribution, they always had their skills in "escaping", which we would narrate in detail later. Here we might as well take a look at how the glory of teachers had faded in the minds of contemporary youth. It was the point that normal students would never deny. The most adorable feature of them was that they would never conceal their frank evaluation of everything.

今年春天,我们在ー些中学采访时,碰巧遇到了一批正在那里实习的师范生, 有北师大的,也有师院的。他们同我们在毫无戒备心和虚伪应酬的气氛中讨论了他们将要从事的职业。自然,需隐去姓名,以免麻烦。 This spring, when we were interviewing at some middle schools, we happened to encounter a group of normal school students who were interning there, including those from Beijing Normal University and teachers' colleges. They discussed the profession they were going to engage in with us in an atmosphere of no vigilance or hypocritical socializing. Naturally, their names were hidden to avoid trouble.

女生A— Girl A-

“高考时我没报师范,接到录取通知书我哭了。爸爸妈妈都在大学里教书,劝我,说女孩子当教师也算合适的。有机会再跳出来嘛。从他们身上,我多少知道ー点当老师的辛苦。现在自己站到课堂上来,ー站四十五分钟,好漫长呵!课上一席话,课下不知要反复磨多少遍。辛苦不说,有病也没法请假。来这里实习,就看到不少老师兜里揣着病假条上课。这工作就像躺在ー张橡皮筋编的网上,越坠越沉, 似乎下面是个没底的窟窿。我真不愿多想它。反正拿通知书哭了一次,毕业后我更会大哭ー场的。” "I didn't apply for normal school during the college entrance examination, so I cried when I received the admission notice. My parents are teaching in the university. Therefore, they advised that it is also suitable for girls to become teachers and that I can change my career in the future. To some extent, I know the hardships of becoming a teacher from them. Now I become a teacher and stand for 45 minutes every time, which is so long! What is taught in class needs to be repeated many times before class. The work is hard and I cannot take leave even if I am sick. When I came here for an internship, I saw many teachers carrying sick leave notes in their pockets during class. Being a teacher is like lying on a net made of rubber bands. You will sink deeper and deeper, as if there was a bottomless hole below. I really don't want to think about it. Anyway, I cried once with the notice, and I will cry even more after graduation."

男生В—— Boy B-

“我中学成绩一直很好,高考没考好。校长建议我第二年再考,后来不知道哪个老师替我填报了师范。我被录取,完全不是自己的选择。这次来实习,大家都提不起劲来,还生怕干得卖カ,被指名留下。不过,中学教师的甘苦,这回真算领教了,工作哪有上下班之分?连走路都得琢磨学生怎么管、课怎么讲。干这活儿你还没法瞎对付,往学生跟前ー站,好歹是个师长,稍微讲点脸面的人,总想干好。那你就受累去吧,有多大精力都得熬干!就这么辛苦,到头来还没人念你这点儿好。所以同学们都说,要没这趟实习,不到中学来瞧瞧,明儿分配了,兴许糊里糊涂还能去干;这么ー瞧,说什么也不能去呀。” "I have always done well in high school, but I performed poorly in the college entrance examination. My headmaster suggested that I take an examination again the next year. Later, some teacher filled in the normal school application for me and I was accepted, which was not my choice at all. In this internship, everyone is not motivated for fear that if they work hard, they will be named to stay. However, I really know the joys and sorrows of middle school teachers this time. There is no distinction between going to work and going off work. When walking, we are even thinking about how to manage students and how to teach. You can't be perfunctory in this job. After all, when standing in front of students, our identities are teachers. Those who want to save their face always want to do a good job. No matter how energetic you are before, you will be exhausted. Chillingly, no one will remember what you have done in the end. Therefore, my classmates all said but for this internship in the middle school, they might accept the distribution to be teachers. Now, they all refuse to do it. "

男生С— Boy C-

“社会上只有一天重视教师,那就是教师节。什么好听的话都让教师在这一天听个够,过了这时辰您就捎ー边待着去吧。当然也不光是说点好听的,还优待些其他商品,不过据说有的也是乘机推销积压物资。人心是杆秤,教师当真值几个钱,大伙儿心里都明晰。难怪这回我来中学实习在资料室看书,听ー旁有位老师问另一位:‘你怎么让那个学生报师范呀,他学习不是挺好的吗?’有回一个中学生还对我说: ‘我哥哥学习不怎么样,想报你们学校试试。’你们听听,这种话叫我们师范生听了,能不难受吗?不过冷静想想,人家说的都是实话,咱也别气不顺儿,靠自己哄自己过日子！” "There is only one day in the society to pay attention to teachers, and that is Teacher's Day. In this day, teachers will receive all kinds of compliments. After that, they tend to be ignored. Of course, there are not only compliments, but also discounts on buying things. It is also said that some people take the opportunity to sell overstocked goods. People are all clear about the weight of teachers. No wonder when I was reading books in the reference room of the middle school where I interne, one teacher asked another,‘That student is good at study. Why did you advise him to apply for normal school?’Once a middle school student said to me, ‘My brother is not doing well in his studies and he wants to apply to your school. Listen, how can we normal school students not feel upset? Thinking calmly, what they said is true. Therefore, we needn’t be sad and just adjust our mood. "

女生D— Girl D-

“今年师范提前招生,倒是挺新鲜。不过我看靠这办法想招优秀生,也难。要是师范都招些低分生,那非恶性循环不可。你越掉价儿人家越瞧不起,越招不来好的还真越掉价儿。如今弄得我们这些读师范的也自觉矮人ー截,好像比那些函大、夜大、电大还不如。老师真像ー支蜡烛,把自个儿烧没了去照亮别人,对这种必定要做出牺牲的特殊职业不采取特殊政策,谁还肯干?!不知道上面为啥算不过这笔账来。” "This year, normal universities start enrollment in advance, which is quite new. However, in my point of view, it’s hard to attract some excellent graduates. If the students they recruit are all low-scoring, there will be a vicious circle. The more you degrade, the more people look down on you. The more you can't attract excellent students, the more you degrade. It seems that we are not as good as those studying in Correspondence College, Evening University, and TV University. Teacher is really like a candle, burning himself up to illuminate others. Without special policies, who will be willing to do this special profession that must make sacrifices? I don't know why those in power can't understand this. "

实习带队教师—— Internship leading teacher-

“我是81级师范毕业生,因此我很能理解他们此刻的心情。我毕业实习那会儿也经历过这种幻灭的痛苦。在中学见到一位女教师,四十几岁的人看上去就像六十多岁ー样苍老,她那满脸的皱纹好像告诉我,这是ー种多么销蚀生命的职业, 而且是在极其平凡琐碎的过程中被悄悄吞噬掉的。我常想,对于今天这一代人来说,教师的辛苦和清贫也许并不是最难以接受的,最可怕的是在默默无闻的消耗之后仍然得不到心灵的慰藉。许多师范生并不惧怕这职业,怕的是中学里那种狭窄的、停滞的和窒息的环境和气氛,对个性特色及创造性的可容度太小,他们很想有所作为但施展的天地很有限,幻灭之后就想走,又走不脱。这就使后来者望而却步。” "I graduated from normal university in 1981, so I can understand their feelings at the moment. I also experienced the pain of disillusionment during my graduation internship. In the middle school, I met a female teacher in her forties, but she looked as if she had been over 60. The wrinkles on her face seemed to tell me that teaching was very life-consuming. Life was quietly consumed in the extremely ordinary and trivial process. For today’s generation, I often think that they can actually accept the hardship and poverty. The most terrible thing for them is that they can’t receive spiritual comfort after being consumed in obscurity. In fact, many normal school students are not afraid of the profession. What they are more afraid of is the narrow, stagnant, and suffocating environment and atmosphere where the tolerance for personality traits and creativity is too low. They want to make a difference, but the world is very limited. After disillusionment, they want to leave, but can’t. This intimidates the latecomers."

今天的教育事业,面对的就是这样ー批继承者。他们自私吗?觉悟低素质差吗?缺乏责任感和牺牲精神吗?人们尽可以这样评价或责备他们。但是,你有力量改变他们吗?你的力量表现在哪里呢?难道就表现在师范招生时那慷慨激昂的动员和大张旗鼓的宣传吗? Nowadays, education would be passed down by such successors. Were they selfish? Were they poor in consciousness and quality? Did they lack sense of responsibility and sacrifice? People could always evaluate or blame them in this way. However, did you have power to make a change? Where was your strength manifested? Was it manifested in the passionate mobilization and vigorous promotion during the enrollment of normal universities?

是的,我们也很惊异。党的号召,思想动员,政治鼓动,都曾经是很有效的。它造就过一代良师,神话般地孕育过奇迹;但何以今天它会变得如此不中用,而至今仍被奉为唯一的灵丹妙药?我们甚至辨不清:究竟是时代在愚弄人,还是人仍要固执地愚弄时代? Well, we were also very surprised. In the past, the Party's call, ideological mobilization, and political agitation were all very effective, which had nurtured a generation of excellent teachers and mythically bred miracles. However, why was it so useless today and still regarded as the only panacea? We couldn't even distinguish- was the times fooling people, or were people still stubbornly fooling the times?

二、蓦然回首灯火阑珊处

"Suddenly I Turn My Back, He Gleams in Sparse and Obscure of Lights. "

——教书的工作为什么叫你那么醉心,醉心得连我们也想流泪?你真的不知道什么叫苦吗?学校天地之小、学生管教之难、教师待遇之低,你乐的是什么呢? -Why are you so obsessed with teaching that we even want to cry? You really don't know what to complain about? The school is small, the students are difficult to discipline, and the treatment of teachers is so low. What are you happy about?

——是啊,乐的什么呢?天知道。可是,凭谁问,廉颇老矣,尚能饭否? -Yeah, what am I happy about? Who knows? However, who would ask a question like this, “Lian Po is getting old, does he still have a good appetite?"

历史还记得他吗?

Did History Remember Him?

郑怀杰还会等待那十年一次的聚会吗?倘若真有这聚会,他会流泪的。只不知这泪是欣慰还是伤感。 Would Zheng Huaijie still wait for the once-in-a-decade gathering? If there were such a gathering, he would shed tears. It was unknown that his tears were out of relief or sadness.

是的,也许只有这种聚会,才能叫人想起那段早被遗忘了的历史。三十年前,北京市教育局长孙国梁在ー个欢送应届高中毕业生的会上说:“解放后,大批エ农子女入学,教师不够,你们的弟弟妹妹没人教。党希望你们留校教书,帮我们拉扯他们一把,凡是考上大学的,保留学籍两年。两年后,你们再去读大学,好吗?”全市三千名毕业生自愿留下了五分之一,这六百多个都是优秀生,大多已被大学录取。郑怀杰也留下了。他几乎是不假思索地就把北京钢铁学院的录取通知书塞进了抽屉,绝没有想到这是ー个终生的诀别。两年后,各大学都来函催促留校生快去报到,他又放弃了。三年后,他亲手把ー个毕业班送进了大学,自己还舍不得走。这一年他入了党。十年后,在庆祝他们这些留校生任教十周年的宴会上,孙局长又来了,他说以后每十年都要聚会一次。那一次,郑怀杰觉得一切都得到了补偿,虽然那时并不高谈“奉献”。很奇怪,在社会上并不高喊奉献的年代里,偏偏人们奉献得极为心甘情愿。 Yes. Perhaps only this kind of gathering could people be reminded of that long-forgotten history. Thirty years ago, Sun Guoliang, director of the Beijing Education Bureau, said at a meeting to send off new high school graduates, "After the liberation, a large number of farmers’ children have gone to school. However, there are no enough teachers. Your younger brothers and sisters have no one to teach. Therefore, the Party hopes that you can stay in school and help us to teach them. Those who have been admitted to universities will retain their student status for two years. You go to college in two years, is it okay? " One fifth of the 3000 graduates in the city volunteered to stay, and over 600 of them were outstanding students, most of whom had been admitted to universities. Zheng Huaijie also stayed. He almost put the admission notice of Beijing Iron and Steel Institute into the drawer without thinking, and never thought it would be a lifelong farewell. Two years later, when all universities sent letters urging the students to report to them, he gave up again. Three years later, he personally sent a graduating class to college, but he was still reluctant to leave. This year, he joined the Party. Ten years later, a banquet was held to celebrate the tenth anniversary of their stay in school, and Director Sun also came. He said that the banquet should be held every ten years in the future. At that time, Zheng Huaijie felt that everything had been compensated, although people did not talk much about "dedication". It was strange that in an era when society didn’t eulogize dedication, people tended to give very willingly.

别以为50年代的人都是“傻帽儿”,不懂上大学的要紧。起码,对于郑怀杰的父亲——留美博士、中国科学院学部委员、我国著名的鸟类学家郑作新先生来说, 儿子天经地义是该享受高等教育的。为这,他同金陵女子大学毕业的妻子千方百计给了儿女们ー个金色的童年和最优越的初级教育。他绝没有想到,竟是他最钟爱的长子郑怀杰,此生偏与大学无缘。ー个博士家的长子甘愿做了孩子王,这事无论在当时多么平常,今天也会变得不可思议了。倘若人生再让郑怀杰选择ー次,他会怎样呢? Generally speaking, people living in the 1950s were not "idiots". They knew the importance of going to college. Zheng Huaijie's father, Zheng Zuoxin, was a doctor studying in the United States, an academician of Chinese Academy of Sciences, and a famous ornithologist in China. At least, for Zheng Zuoxin, his son should enjoy higher education. For this, he along with his wife, who graduated from Ginling College, did everything possible to give their children a golden childhood and the most excellent primary education. It never occurred to him that Zheng Huaijie, his favorite eldest son, had nothing to do with college in his life. The eldest son of a doctor's family was willing to be the "king of children”! No matter how common it was at that time, it would become incredible today. What would happen to Zheng Huaijie if he was allowed to choose his life again?

这问题提得荒唐吗?不。你再听听郑怀杰后来的命运,便知道什么叫荒唐了。 Was this a ridiculous question? No. If you knew the later fate of Zheng Huaijie, you would know what was ridiculous.

他终于没能盼来第二次聚会。 He finally missed the second gathering.

来的却是整整十五年的苦难。1964年“四清”ー开始,他就被开除了党籍。罪名同1957年他被打成“右派”的罪名如出ー辙。他无意中曾对学生说,西方人主要吃肉蛋奶,揭发者给他加了个下联:中国人主要吃草茎籽。于是,他忽然发现愚昧是那样强大、冷酷、翻脸不认人。他原本就是为了清除愚昧オ放弃了上大学的啊, 结果愚昧反而收拾了他。他按月把党费装进ー个信封,塞在枕头下面。“文革”一来,他陷入了更深的地狱。一个星期要挨六十场批斗,真真是体无完肤了。当初让他拉扯上把的“弟弟妹妹们”,如今像牵牲ロー样拉他去游街、用三角皮带抽他跳牛鬼蛇神舞。他跳着,心里却在想:我为什么要留下来送你们上大学呢…… It was fifteen years of suffering waiting for him. In 1964, he was expelled from the Party at the beginning of the " four cleans movement". The charge was the same as that of 1957 when he was labeled as a "rightist". He inadvertently told his students that westerners mainly ate meat, eggs and milk, and the whistleblower added a second line for him- Chinese people mainly ate grass, stems and seeds. Suddenly, he found that ignorance was so powerful and cold. He originally gave up the chance of going to college to eliminate ignorance, but ignorance taught him instead. He put the Party dues into an envelope every month and stuffed it under his pillow. During the "Cultural Revolution", he fell into a deeper hell. He was really torn to pieces by sixty criticisms a week. The "younger brothers and sisters" who he was invited to teach at the beginning were now dragging him to the streets and compelling him to perform the dance of monsters and freaks. As he danced, he thought," Why did I stay and send you to college? "

然而,灾难ー过去,他还得拼命送他们上大学。他当了校长,得抓升学率。他把教师、学生、家长都请来,亲自作示范讲公开课。他摸索出ー套入学教育的新办法,给初一、高ー学生注入强大的“第一推动カ”。他还得到处去张罗钱,为了能给教师每月发点奖金、加班费,给负责学生早读的教师供应ー碗豆浆、两个油饼…… 可是,有人突然对他说:你的文凭呢?没文凭你能算知识分子吗?怎么有资格当校长呢?于是,他在五十二岁的年纪还得去奔ー张大专文凭。他当年那样轻易奉献出去的东西,如今也板着不容通融的面孔来报复他了。他原来早该是高级工程师或教授了,如今却同儿女ー辈为伍去上夜大、函授什么的。 However, as soon as the disaster ended, he desperately sent them to college again. When he became the headmaster, he had to improve the enrollment rate. Therefore, he invited teachers, students and parents and gave them a demonstration of open class in person. He also explored a new method of entrance education, which injected a strong "first push" into junior school students high school students. Meanwhile, he also went everywhere to raise money, in order to give teachers some monthly bonuses and overtime pay, and to supply bowls of soya-bean milk and two seedcakes to the teachers in charge of students' morning reading. However, someone suddenly asked him:" Where is your diploma? How can you be considered an intellectual if you don’t have a diploma? How do you qualify to become a principal?" Therefore, he had to get an associate degree at the age of 52. What he had so easily given away was now avenged on him with an uncompromising face. He was supposed to be a senior engineer or a professor, but now he went to Evening University or Correspondence College with his children.

他还保存着那张录取通知书,只是纸已发黄,那“钢铁”两个繁体字,对于现在已经习惯写简化字的大学生而言也写不倒囹了。 He still kept the admission notice, but the paper had turned yellow. The two traditional Chinese characters “gangtie” on the notice were unknown to college students who were used to writing simplified characters now.

百叶箱的梦

The Dream of Thermometer Screen

睡去了,又醒来了。她眼前总是晃动着那个小百叶箱洁白、亭亭玉立的轮廓。脚下是绿茵,身后是蓝天,红领巾像火苗儿在四周蹿动…… She fell asleep and woke up again. In front of her eyes was always wobbling a white, graceful outline of that little thermometer screen. Under her feet was the green grass, behind her was the blue sky, and the red scarf was moving around like a flame…

人老了,偏多梦。半个世纪的往事纷至沓来,人影离乱。华北大平原的夜空。偎在妈妈膝头数星星。“跑鬼子”。西北联大黑板上那幅中国地图,犹如雄鸡唱晓。镰刀斧头下的宣誓。炼铁炉里的火苗儿。书记大喊:“同学们快出来看苏联的人造卫星!” “书记,那不是卫星,是气象台放的高空探测仪。”“你行啊,你内行,你大学毕业!”1957年的酷夏。“朱聪颖,你和右派性质差不多,你的党籍被取消了。” “朱聪颖同志,委屈你了。不过你没正式戴过’右派’帽子,也谈不上改正了。”…… 这都是些什么呀?她厌恶地晃晃头,把它们都驱走。她只想梦见那眨巴着无穷好奇的一双双大眼睛。那些小手从后面一拽她的衣襟:“朱老师,我想参加气象组。” 她的心就酥了。她这辈子仿佛只为此而活着。 As people grew older, they dreamed more. Half a century of past events poured in, and many people appeared there one by one-the night sky of the North China Plain, snuggling up on mother's knee and counting the stars,＂The Japanese invaders! Run!＂,the map of China on the blackboard of Northwest Associated University that looked like a rooster singing the dawn, the oath under sickle and axe, flames in the steel-making furnace…The secretary shouted: "Students, come out and see the Soviet satellite!" "Secretary, that is not a satellite. It is a high-altitude detector put by the Meteorological Observatory." "Great! You know it clearly! A knowledgeable college student! " It was the scorching summer of 1957. ""Zhu Congying, you are similar in nature to the rightists, and your party membership has been cancelled." "Comrade Zhu Congying, I feel so sorry to you. Considering that you have not officially worn the hat of " rightist ", you needn’t make a correction." …What were these? She shook her head in disgust and drove them all away. She only wanted to dream of those big eyes blinking with infinite curiosity, and children whose little hands tugged at her lapel from behind, saying, "Teacher Zhu, I want to join the meteorological team." Her heart melted. She seemed to have lived only for this in her life.

ー只挂着锈锁的百叶箱,封满尘埃。二十年前它曾是那样出名。谁不知道北京128中学的气象站?虽然很少有人知道朱聪颖这个名字。团市委总结过她的典型材料。四个城区和郊区许多地理教师听过她的讲授;儿童艺术剧院还派演员来体验过生活,回去排了话剧《小雁齐飞》。这些,人们早都忘记了。有谁还能体会得出ー个两鬓银丝的中学女教师面对ー只百叶箱时的心情呢? The thermometer Screen with rusty locks was covered with dust. It was so famous twenty years ago. Everyone was familiar with the weather station of Beijing No.128 Middle School, though few people knew the name Zhu Congying. The Communist Youth League Committee summarized her typical materials. Many geography teachers in four urban areas and suburbs heard her lectures. The Children's Art Theatre also sent actors to experience life and went back to rehearse the play Wild Goose Flying Together. People had long forgotten these things. Who else could understand the feelings of a silver-haired high school female teacher when she was facing a thermometer screen?

她ー看到它,眼就湿润了。1957年她失去党籍之后,开始有了它。她能把大陆和海洋召唤到教室里讲给学生听,也能编歌谣让他们唱唱笑笑就记住了名山大川、城市铁路,可枯燥的气象知识学生不爱学。她想了一个妙主意,去找市少年科技馆的刘金贵老师。她俩在128中学办起了气象站。那百叶箱在草坪上ー立,孩子们全着迷了。ー百多人天天跟着她写观测日记,每个人都成了家里的气象预报员。有个叫沈人德的女孩,是沈钧儒老人的孙女,某一期的气象站长。后来她读了农大气象系。朱聪颖从此开始编织ー个金色的梦:假若在全市各中学有规划地建立一批正规的气象哨,为国家的ー项科研课题——研究“城市热岛”而长期提供数据资料,中学生和地理教师就有了一件大事可做了……但是,如今她在ー个展览会的角落里找到了气象组的展品,仿佛是一堆破烂的古董。她把它抱回家去,就像抱着ー个夭折的婴儿,ー个梦的残骸…… Every time she saw it, her eyes became wet. Since she lost her party membership in 1957, she had owned it. She could not only summon continents and oceans into the classroom to teach students, but also compose songs for them to happily remember famous mountains, rivers, and urban railways. However, students didn’t like to learn boring meteorological knowledge. Therefore, she came up with a good idea. She found Liu Jingui, a teacher from the Municipal Youth Science and Technology Museum, and set up a weather station with her in No.128 Middle School. With the thermometer screen standing on the lawn, all children were fascinated. Every day, more than a hundred students followed her to write observation diaries, and everyone became the weathermen at home. A girl named Shen Rende was the granddaughter of Shen Junru. She was the weather stationmaster of a certain period, and later studied in the Department of Meteorology of China Agricultural University. From then on, Zhu Congying began to weave a golden dream-if a group of formal meteorological posts were established in a planned manner in various middle schools throughout the city to provide long-term data and information for a national scientific research project, the study of "urban heat islands", middle school students and geography teachers would have a big thing to do…But now, she found the exhibits of the meteorological group in the corner of the exhibition, as if they were a pile of tattered antiques. She carried it home, like a dead baby, the remains of a dream…

马卡连柯女弟子

A Great Female Educator

“同学们,咱们这个班还叫初二,不叫初一。干吗非让你们留级呢!回家邻居ー问,脸往哪儿搁?不就是有些课没学会吗?咱们补上它。大伙儿别伤心,挺起胸膛来!” "Students, we are students of grade two, not grade one. Why should you repeat your grade? How humiliating you will be if the neighbors ask you about this. Aren't there just some lessons you haven't mastered? Let's make it up. Don't be sad, everybody! Cheer up!"

刘云莲温情地看着眼前这三十六个学生。他们都是从那六个班里刷下来的, 如今全套拉着脑袋。凭她三十年的经验,她知道一次留级弄不好就会把孩子们的上进心通通摧毁。此刻他们全都站在人生的悬崖上,不拽一把就跌下去了。拽ー把呢,说不定会有奇迹。因此,她接了这个留级班后的第一件事,就是宣布它叫初二(4)班。 Liu Yunlian looked affectionately at the 36 students in front of her. All of them had been eliminated from these six classes, and now dejectedly drooped their heads. With her thirty years of teaching experience, she knew that a failure to repeat a grade would destroy the children's urge for improvement. At the moment, they were all standing on the cliff of life. If no one gave them a hand, they would fall. But if there was, there might be miracles. Therefore, the first thing she did after taking over this repetition class was to announce that it was Class 4, Grade 2.

但这毕竟只是ー个心理安慰。要命的是你想教,他还不想学呢。 After all, it was just a psychological comfort. The trouble was that you wanted to teach, but the students didn't want to learn.

“刘老师,我不想读书了。” "Teacher Liu, I don't want study anymore."

“为什么?” "Why not?"

“不为什么。我爹妈都同意了,您还管?” "No why. My parents have agreed. Please leave me alone."

“他们怎么跟你说的?” "What did they tell you?"

“嗨,这还用问?如今还念什么书呀,挣钱去吧！念出来也没做买卖赚得多。” "Well. Obviously, they asked me to give up study and make money! They told me that I can earn more in business than in books."

现在的教师,求学生念书不算,还得求家长让孩子念书。社会上如今赚钱都发了狂,来钱也容易,ー个穷教书匠哪有力量同这时尚争夺孩子?但刘云莲不肯撒手。她去找家长:“你们可不能搅乱他的心思,孩子挺聪明,把他交给我,会学出息的。今后过了晚上七点不回来,准定在我家,你们就放心,我管饭,书得念!”这孩子毕业后考上了热门的北京饭店服务学校学西餐。他父亲乐得合不拢嘴,可刘云莲还惋惜地说,他直到最后还有潜力没全挖出来。

Nowadays, teachers not only required to teacher students, but also guided parents to let their children study. In today's society, people were crazy about making money, and it was easy to get money. How could a poor educator have the strength to change this trend for children? However, Liu Yunlian refused to let go. She went to his parents, “you cannot disturb his mind. Your child is very smart. Let me teach him and he will be successful. From now on, if he doesn’t go home after 7 p.m., he must be at my home. Therefore, you can rest assured. I'll take care of his meals and study. He must go to school!" After graduation, the child was admitted to the popular Beijing Hotel Service School to learn how to cook western food. His father was very happy, but Liu Yunlian felt sorry, saying that his potential wasn't fully explored in the end.

男孩子心野,她得哄着劝着擔着他们头皮念书。王俭是全班的灾星,从小就有多动症,注意力保持不了十分钟,过了就得吃药镇静。刘云莲把他领回家调教了整整一个寒假,开学后,他终于坐稳了。男生T腿有残疾,同学奚落他,爹妈嫌他累赘,他自己也没了自尊心,整日价浑闹,弄不好就被爹妈扒了衣服撵到大街上罚站。刘云莲有回真急了,赶去找家长评理:“这孩子要让你们给毁了的厂’“刘老师,您说他还有救吗?我不求别的,只求毕业拿张证书,能混个饭碗,那我就给您磕头啦!” “我也只求你们别再打他,这孩子的前程我包了!”他毕业时考得很好,虽有残疾, 终于被一家医院录用为会计…… Boys couldn’t concentrate themselves on study, so she had to supervise them. Wang Jian was the bane of the whole class. Having suffered from hyperactivity since childhood, he wasn't able to maintain his attention for ten minutes. After ten minutes, he had to take medicine to calm down. Noticing this, Liu Yunlian took him home and trained for a whole winter vacation. When school started, he was finally able to sit still. Boy T's leg was disabled. Because of this, his classmate taunted him; his parents disregarded him as a burden; he himself also lost self-esteem, dawdling around all day. Sometimes, his parents would strip of his clothes and forced him to stand in the street. Once upon a time, Liu Yunlian was so infuriated that she rushed to his parents to reason，"the child is going to be ruined by you." "Teacher Liu, do you think he can turn over a new leaf? I don't ask for anything else. I just want him to graduate with a certificate and get a job. Then, I'll appreciate it so much." " You shouldn't beat him again. I'll take care of the boy's future!" He did well in the graduation exam. Despite of his disability, he was finally hired as an accountant in a hospital…

三年后,在全区统考中,这个班总平均分达82分,及格率百分之百,居全校第一,绝大多数学生考入高中或中技。这难道不是奇迹吗?只是创造这奇迹的人,已经一身都是病了:高血压、冠心病、淋巴结核、眼底硬化。家里还有一个总得她扶着走路的半瞎的丈夫…… Three years later, in the district's unified examination, the average score of this class reached 82 points, and the passing rate was 100%, ranking first in the whole school. The vast majority of students were admitted to high schools or middle technical schools. Wasn't this a miracle? However, the person who created the miracle had been beset by illnesses-high blood pressure, coronary heart disease, lymphatic tuberculosis and fundus sclerosis. In her family, she still had a half-blind husband who she had to support to walk…

三十六个孩子的命运是靠ー颗菩萨心肠改变的。然而,这改变需让这颗心挤出她全部的血。这也是ー种交换。一旦成交,那心便枯萎了、衰竭了,几乎都转化到那些新的生命里去了…… It was a kind heart that changed thirty-six children’s fate. However, to make a difference, Liu Yunlian had made painstaking efforts. To some extent, it was also a kind of exchange. Once the deal was made, her heart would wither, almost transforming into those new lives…

蹬三轮的“普希金”

Pushkin on the Tricycle “老黄牛”——这个不知究竟是尊崇还是戏谑的雅号,这个凡奖赏时又要顺便朝你屁股上抽ー鞭子的挥名,名副其实地落到了他身上。领导和群众都这样喊他, 叫他哭笑不得。他就该仅仅是条“牛”吗?他的价值到底是蹬三轮的カ气还是满肚子的俄文单词呢?不错,他蹬三轮跑在公路上时真能成大段地背诵普希金的《驿站长》。 The nickname of "old cattle" was uncertain to be respectful or playful. It was like reward and punishment, which truly fell on him. That the leaders and the masses called him "old cattle" made him laugh and cry. Was he just a＂cattle＂? Did his value lie in his strength to ride tricycles or in his proficiency in Russian words? Well, he could really recite Pushkin's Postmaster at length while pedaling a tricycle on the road.

可是,俄语教师孙景珍的确在北京177中学蹬了十几年三轮。当别人都夹着讲义走向教室时,他蹬上三轮往城外去了。跑通州、跑石景山,满处去找金锑合金硅片,拉回校办エ厂来提炼黄金。黄金是真提炼出来了,可他却埋在土里没人来提炼。谁还记得他是ー个1964年大学毕业、俄语呱呱叫的中学教师?人们只知道他是总务处的孙保管、食堂里的孙采购、校办厂的“老黄牛”。十几年来,他默默承受着这命运,上面叫他干啥他就干啥,他没有想过自己个人的价值。哪里知道,妻子竟头ー个嫌起他来了。她是冲着“文化人”オ嫁给他的,怎么到头来他居然成了学校里一个打杂的エ友?再说她腰有病,发作起来疼得在床上打滚,他却没法请假。待到天黑回家,他已一身臭汗,倒头便睡,想不起来给她端杯喝药的水。她走了,给他扔下两个孩子……牛也是会哭的,哭自己在无边的土地上耕作,却没有收获的权利。 However, Sun Jingzhen, a Russian teacher, did ride a tricycle in Beijing 177 Middle School for more than ten years. When everyone else went to the classroom with their handouts, he rode on his tricycle and went out of the city. He went to Tongzhou and Shijingshan to find gold-antimony alloy silicon wafers, and pulled them back to the school-run factory for gold refinement. The gold was really refined, but he was buried in the earth with no one to find him. Who would remember that he was a college student graduated in 1964? Who would remember that he was proficient in Russian? He was known only as the custodian Sun of general affairs office, buyer Sun of the canteen and "old cattle" of the school-run factory. For more than a decade, he silently suffered from his fate. He did whatever he was told and never thought of his personal value. To his surprise, his wife should be the first to dislike him. She married him because he was a "cultural man". However, he turned out to be a handyman at school. Furthermore, she had a waist problem. Every time she got sick, rolling on the bed in pain, he couldn't ask for leave. When he returned home in the dark, he was already sweating profusely and fell asleep, unable to remember bringing her a glass of water for her medicine. In the end, she went away, and left him two children... The cattle also cried. He cried that he was farming on the boundless land, but had no right to harvest.

更可怜他忘不了普希金和契诃夫。每个星期天他都到书店的架子上寻找他们。俄语教学的书他照旧见一本买一本,即使进ロ图书展览会上的俄文原版教科书他也不放过,只是那六千多个单词,就像他十几年洒在公路上的汗水,一滴滴快流完了,而书店里那本四十多块钱的大辞典他摸了又摸,至今没勇气去搬它。家里还有两张嘴呢…… More pitifully, he could not forget Pushkin and Chekhov. Every Sunday, he went to the bookstore shelves looking for them. Every time he saw books for Russian language teaching, he would buy them. He even wouldn't miss the original Russian textbooks at the import book exhibition! However, the over 6000 Russian words were slowly dripping away just like the sweats he had sprinkled on the road for more than ten years. Though he really liked the big dictionary for over forty dollars, he still didn't have the courage to own it. The reason was that he still had two children to support...

他到人才交流中心去过。“中小学教师除外”几个大字赫然在目。人家告诉他:有规定,中教五级、小教三级以上不准“出口”。他的嘴嚅动了几下张开了,却哑然失声:他说不清,他究竟还算不算一个教师? He had been to the talent exchange center, where the big words "except for primary and middle school teachers" were conspicuous. He was told it was stipulated that teachers of level-5 in middle schools and teachers above level-3 in primary schools were not allowed to "export." He opened his mouth several times, but lost his voice: he didn't know whether he was a teacher or not.

十字架下的幽会

The Tryst Under the Cross

他站在北京图书馆社科阅览室门外等座号的长蛇阵里。寒酸衣着掩饰不住的学究气使他同周围的青春和时髦颇不和谐,以至让管理员动了恻隐之心,过来要他的工作证,谁知竟是ー场尴尬:“对不起,老同志。我还以为……按规定讲师以上オ给照顾的。” He stood in the long snake array waiting for the seat number outside the social science reading room of the Beijing Library. With shabby clothes and undisguised pedantry, he was so out of harmony with the youth and fashion around him that the administrator became compassionate and asked him for his employee's card. It turned out to be embarrassing: "I'm sorry, old comrade. I thought…According to the regulations, only lecturers or above will be given preferential treatment."

刘彦成只有苦笑。虽然图书馆书架上有他的著作,他却没有领借书证的资格。布告上分明写着:“下列人员可以办证——有工程师、讲师以上职称者,市劳动模范,三八红旗手……”中学教员永远摊不上这等恩宠。他多么想和哪位好心的劳模、红旗手通融通融,若有对线装的善本古籍不感兴趣者,是否将那令他垂涎的“殊遇”临时转让ー下…… Liu Yancheng only wore a wry smile. Although his books were on the library shelves, he was not eligible for a library card. The notice clearly read: "The following personnel can apply for certificates-engineer, lecturer or above, city model worker, the Women's Day red flag bearer…" Middle school teachers would never be able to share such favors. How he wished that some kind-hearted model worker or red flag bearer who was not interested in thread-bound rare books would temporarily transfer his "privilege" to him…

他命里注定同一切幸运无缘。出身像烙在他额头的ー个罪恶的十字架,无论在部队还是大学里都受歧视。只是书香门第的熏陶,叫他即使当了教书匠也苦苦恋着古典文学,ー辈子放不下。但他必须把书教得无可挑剔之后オ敢忙里偷“闲” 去同“情人”幽会。他只好每周一碗炸酱、二十ー顿面条,星期天和寒暑假就都花在案头和“北图”的阅览室里。 He was destined to be out of luck. His birth was like a sinful cross engraved on his forehead, causing him to face discrimination in both the military and university. Even if he became a teacher, the influence of his scholarly background made him obsessed with classical literature, which he would never let go of his life. As usual, he always taught impeccably before he dared to steal "free time" from his busy schedule to have a tryst with his "lover". A bowl of fried sauce and 20 meals of noodles were his weekly food. And his time was all spent on the desk and in the reading room of "North Map" during Sundays, winter and summer vacations.

他还惦着千里之外的妻儿。每每在暮色中走出图书馆,还要到电线杆上去细看“对调启事”,去那千百张字条中寻寻觅觅…… He also missed his wife and children who were thousands of miles away. Every time he walked out of the library in the twilight, he would look for the "exchange notice" in the thousands of notes on the telephone pole...

琉璃厂来了《全唐诗》,他疯了一样天不亮就去排队。总共四套,让他抢了一套,却花去月工资的大半。汗牛充栋的中国古籍他能都买吗?于是不得不抄书。上百万字的《十三经注疏》和《唐宋八大家文选》他竟都抄了几十万字。他又偏不会做省力的文章,只仗着功底深厚,专做古籍的校勘、注释和训诂。每每三五语,默默百日功,而他的名字常常只在书的序言中被提及。《〈文则〉注释》ー书,他花了两年时间查对五百条引文,有时为了一个用典的出处,得把百多卷的书搬来从头翻起,只有这时,ー个中学教员的名字オ被允许厕身于专职研究人员之列。他与人合作的《南社》ー书,1964年就付排了,却压了十六年后オ出版。他从来不奢望,他只有苦恋……

When azure stone factory had The Complete Tang Poetry, he went to line up before dawn. There were four sets, and he secured one, which cost him more than half of the monthly salary. Could he buy all the ancient Chinese books? Of course not. Therefore, he had to copy books. Thirteen Classics Explanatory Notes and Commentaries and Selected Works of the Eight Great Writers of the Tang and Song Dynasties all had tens of thousands of words, of which he copied hundreds of thousands of words each. He was unwilling to work on labor-saving articles. Relying on his deep foundation, he was specialized in the collation, annotation and exegesis of ancient books. A small step might lead to a thousand miles. Then his name was often mentioned in the preface of the book. It took him two years to check 500 quotations from Annotations to Guide Line for Prose. Sometimes, in order to find the source of an allusion, he had to read more than 100 volumes from the beginning to the end. Only by this chance could his name of a middle school teacher be allowed to be among the list of full-time researchers. The book Nan She that he collaborated with others was finished in 1964, but it was only published sixteen years later. He never had extravagant hopes. What he had was only bitter love...

忽一日,学生家长跑来:“刘老师,电线杆子……”十八年的两地分居オ结束了。又忽一日,北京大学中文系邮来ー纸公文:“贵校刘彦成同志原是我系1955级文学专业毕业生,学习成绩优良,有较强科研著述能力,按其实际水平本应分配至高等院校或科研单位,但由于他家庭成分不好,父亲被镇压（现证明无大问题,已在为其甄别）,又加上对反右斗争及大炼钢铁等有看法,被视为右倾,当时对他的分配不够公正……” One day, the parents of students ran over and told him, "Teacher Liu, telegraph pole…" Then the family reunited with each other after 18 years' separation. Another day, an official document came from the Chinese Department of Peking University, "Comrade Liu Yancheng, who is teaching in your school, was graduated from our school' s literature major of the Chinese Department in 1955. Having excellent academic performance and strong scientific research writing ability, he should have been assigned to higher education institutions or research units based on their actual level. However, due to his poor family composition, his father was suppressed (it has been proven that there were no major issues and we are screening for him). Besides, his views on anti-rightist struggle and steel smelting were also considered rightist. We admitted that his distribution was not fair enough at that time…"

十字架倒了。他也老了。 The sinful cross had fallen, but he also got old.

当年部队里的战友,如今已有军、师级的了;当年大学里的同窗,大多也是教授、副教授了。 The comrades in the army were now at the military and division levels. Most of the classmates in university back then were also professors and associate professors.

他算哪ー级?他还是ー个中学教员,而且是注定改变不了的。他只能默默把退休前最后几年时日熬完。那时他就解脱了。 What rank was he? He was still a middle school teacher, which was destined to remain unchanged. He could only silently endure the last few years before retirement. At that time, he would be liberated.

历史嘲弄了真诚

——一位父母官对一代“殉道者”的思考 History Mocked Sincerity - A Parental Official's Thoughts on a Generation of "Martyrs"

我是教员出身,很熟悉这ー代人。50年代一部分人考上大学没去,还有一部分人是自愿不考留下的,后来还有从大学里分配来的ー批,都是百分之百的骨干。他们在“文革”中普遍受冲击,如今头发都白了,仍然清贫。过去是磨难,他们忍辱负重;如今又眼见物欲横流,他们仍不为所动。而今中国有幸,就因这批人还在死心塌地干事业。可是,以后这种人没有了。历史不再造就他们。为什么?这是ー个巨大的苦恼。我和他们常在ー起讨论,但没结果。找不到答案的思索是最痛苦的。 Having been a teacher before, I was very familiar with this generation. In the 1950s, some gave up the chance to go to college, while others voluntarily left without taking the exam. Later, a group of people who were assigned from the university were all 100% backbones. These people were generally affected during the "Cultural Revolution", and were left old and poor now. In the past, they endured humiliation in the face of tribulations. Nowadays, they were still unmoved in the face of material desires. China was fortunate in that these people were still committed to their careers. However, there would be no such people in the future. History would no longer create them. Why? This was a great affliction. I often had discussions with others, but to no avail. In my point of view, thinking without an answer was the most painful.

现状对我们是ー个严峻的警告。中小学教师队伍不稳定、老化、后继乏人。而我们动员高中生考师范也软弱无カ,优秀的肯献身的凤毛麟角。如此恶性循环下去怎么得了? The status quo was a stern warning to us-the unstable members of primary and middle school teachers, aging, lack of successors…And it was difficult for us to mobilize high school students to take the normal college entrance examination. Few excellent students were willing to devote themselves. What could we do in such a vicious circle?

没人再肯献身,你怪谁呢?问题就出在已经献了身的落了个什么样的结局。教师职业是神圣的,这神圣就在于甘愿吃亏。可是如果社会蔑视这种吃亏的人,神圣就消失了。做教师的许多人并不怕累和苦,也不眼红钱财。但唯有一条,他们死活摆脱不了,那就是对学生的爱。除了学生,四大皆空。他们甚至回到家里对自己的孩子都没有耐心,不愿再扮演教师这个社会角色。但无论心情多坏,ー上讲台就什么都扔掉了,就入境了。这种心态,社会上有多少人了解?需要他们的时候,都来了:有权的、有钱的、作揖的、奉承的。一旦达到目的,就不理睬了。如果社会把他们遗忘了,他们能不伤心吗?他们还剩下什么呢? Who was to blame if no one was willing to devote themselves? The issue lay in the outcome of those who had already devoted themselves. Teachers were sacred in that they were willing to suffer losses. However, if our society despised them, sanctity would disappear. In fact, many teachers were not afraid of fatigue and hardship, nor were they jealous of money. But there was only one thing that they couldn't get rid of, that was, love for students. Except for students, they cared about nothing. When they came home, they were even impatient with their children, unwilling to play the social role of teachers. No matter how unhappy they were, they would be cheerful on standing on the podium. How many people in society understood this mentality? When they were needed, various people came, such as those with power, those with money, those who bowed, and those who flattered. Once their goals were achieved, they were ignored. How could they not be sad if they were forgotten by the society? What were they left with?

有件事叫我很感慨。北京人都知道八中有个超智儿童班,不少孩子得了华罗庚金杯奖什么的。那天开表彰大会,各级都来捧场,许多领导、专家去了,我也去了。神童们坐中间,家长和教师分坐两侧。鼓号声中,讲话者ー个接ー个,都是夸孩子们的,就是没人谈到教师。我就来了条件反射了。轮到我讲,我就几句话:“提议为右边在座的老师和今天没在座的小学教师鼓掌,最值得感谢的是他们。忘了给他们鼓掌,就是无情无义”下面掌声果然比先头响亮。现在体育界在国际比赛中得了金牌,奖励一直追踪到运动员的母校教师,这是明智的政策,其他战线没有这一条,许多成功者早就忘了他的启蒙人。遗忘和蔑视便引来了惩罚:神圣被亵渎了。我们将为此付出代价! There was one thing that made me feel very sad. Beijing people all knew that there was a Super Intelligent Children's Class at No. 8 Middle School, whose students had won the Hua Luogeng Gold Cup Award or something. On the day of the commendation meeting, people at all levels-leaders, experts, and I, came to pay tribute. With prodigies sitting in the middle, parents and teachers on both sides, the speakers praised children one after another amidst the sound of drums and trumpets. When it was my turn to have a speech, I said spontaneously, "I propose to applaud for the teachers on the right and the elementary school teachers who are not present today. They are the most grateful people. If we forget about them, we are heartless." This time, the applause was much louder than before. Nowadays, in the sports industry, if a sportsman won a gold medal in an international competition, the reward would be traced back to the athlete's alma mater teacher, which was a wise policy. Other fronts didn’t have this policy, and many successful men had long forgotten their enlighteners. Oblivion and contempt brought punishment-sanctity had been violated. We were going to pay a price for it!

三、师道的陨落

Chapter Three The Fall of Teachers’ Principles

灵魂工程师的生存空间

Living Space for＂Soul Engineers＂

丹心一颗蚕丝吐尽育出满园桃李陋室两间蜡烛燃竭照亮几代新人 ——挽特级教师张思恭北京八中师生 A loyal heart fully devoted to education and had students all over the world Two candles burn out in the humble room to illuminate the new generations -Remembering the special-grade teacher Zhang Sigong Teachers and students of Beijing No.8 Middle School

赞颂?挽唱?悲歌?还是愤词? Praise? Elegy? Dirge? Or angry words?

两间斗室,总共十八平方米住着六口人。那样低矮,伸手摸得着天花板;那样阴冷,终日不见阳光,地面渗得出水;那么简陋,冬天透风,夏天漏雨…… Two small rooms, which were totally 18 square meters, lived six people. It was so low that the ceiling could be reached as long as you stretched your hand. Without sunshine all day, it was so cold that water might seep from the ground. In winter, wind went through it. In summer, it would leak when raining…

这就是一位教龄长达四十年的特级教师的生存空间。他在这里生活了三十三个寒暑,终日伴随他的,是嘈杂、拥挤,是夏日的窒闷和冬夜的寒冷,以及那烟熏油呛的空气。恶劣的环境一天天损害着他的健康。他被肺气肿折磨多年,讲课时常常剧咳不止。越到晚年这折磨越凶。到死他都没能走出这破屋。 This was the living space of a special-grade teacher who had been teaching for 40 years. He lived here for 33 years. accompanied by noise and jam, the stuffiness of summer and the cold of winter nights, as well as the smoky and oily air. With the harsh environment damaging his health day by day. He had suffered from emphysema for many years, and often coughed profusely during lectures. The older he became, the more severe the torture was. In the end, he failed to leave this dilapidated house.

四年前他走了,死于肺癌。人们说:像张老师这样的特级教师,ー辈子没能住上新房子,让活着的人永远不好受! He died of lung cancer four years ago. As it was said, people felt sorry that a special teacher like Zhang had never been able to live in a new house all his time!

他走了。身后留下了那道可怕的不等式。 He passed away, and the terrifying inequality was left behind.

那不等号连接着两个霄壤之别的值。一端是他的付出,一个硕大而辉煌的数字,所谓“桃李满天下”;另一端则是他所得到的,一个干瘪苍白的字码,抑或是ー摊灰烬的蜡泪? That inequality connected two vastly different values. One was his efforts of a large and brilliant number, the so-called＂having pupils everywhere＂. The other was what he had gotten. Maybe it was a string of pale words or just a poor of wax tears?

直到今天,人们还在精心编织各种五彩缤纷的花环,敬献到这令人战悸的不等式的祭坛上,为它不断涂抹着新的灵光…… To this day, people were still carefully weaving all kinds of colorful garlands and offering them to the altar of this frightening inequality, painting it with new spiritual light…

连张思恭的死也不能使这灵光稍许暗淡ー些。它果真还能照亮几代人吗?令人忧心! Even Zhang Sigong's death could not dim the light a bit. Could it really illuminate generations? It was worrying!

无独有偶。 Coincidentally.

南方某大都市中,一位三十多年教龄的老教师,一家八口,居住面积只有二十ー平方米。他在患肝癌住院期间,昏迷中还不断哀叫“房子”。弥留之际,家人谎称已分到ー套“三室ー厅”,他オ闭上眼睛,撒手归西…… In a large city in the south, there was a veteran teacher with over 30 years of teaching experience. He lived with his 7 family members in a house of only 20 square meters. When he was hospitalized with liver cancer, he kept crying for "house" in a coma. On his deathbed, his family falsely claimed that they had been allocated to a house of "three rooms and one living room". He closed his eyes and passed away.

呵,空间。ー个人的肉体能需要多少空间呢?但倘若他不只是ー只肉鸡或ー条沙丁鱼,你就不能只给他ー个只能容纳躯体的空间,把他们堆着擂着。人除了肉体还有精神。精神也是需要空间,而且是比肉体更大的空间オ能成活。居移气,养移体。没有精神的空间,人的心首先被挤压。心被窒息了只剩那ー躯肉体占着空间还有何用? Oh, space! How much space did a person's body need? But if he was more than a chicken or a sardine, you couldn't just give him room for his body, making everyone stacked together. We human beings had not only body, but also spirit. Our spirit also needed space, which was much larger than that of body. Only in this case could it be alive. Furthermore, without spiritual space, man’s heart would be the first to be squeezed. If the heart was suffocated, what was the use of leaving only the body to occupy the space?

教师不是“人类灵魂的工程师”吗?怎么偏偏他们自个儿的灵魂横竖没个搁置的空当儿? Weren't teachers " soul engineers “? How come there was no room for their own souls to be shelved?

同样是人,为什么有的就能活得那样宽绰自如,而有的偏这般尴尬、窘迫、苦涩呢? As human beings, why could some live so comfortably, while others were so awkward, embarrassed, and bitter?

无限的空间呵,你既这样吝啬,让这些人的灵魂备受挤压,怎又同时幻想他们在这挤压中还亮出ー个博大的无私的宽厚的胸襟呢? Oh, infinite space! You were so stingy to squeeze those people’s soul. How could you fantasize about their broad, selfless and generous mind in this squeeze at the same time?

在北京市西城区教育局基建科分房办公室,负责同志对我说:“国家和上级都很重视解决中小学教师的住房困难。但毕竟是僧多粥少。我区是全市文化密集区,学校多,教师也就多。ー百七十多所中学小学幼儿园,教职员工ー万三千六百人,住房困难户共有六千七百多家,其中人均住房面积不足三平方米的两千五百户,而去年区教育局系统第二轮分房连新带旧只解决了二百多户。困难主要是两大项:资金和地皮。教育口比不得企业, ,穷家底,国家财力又有限,拨给多少是多少。地皮就更要命了,光安置拆迁户就得赔进百分之六十多的新建房。这两年郊区地皮宽裕些,盖好了房吸引城里教师去,可城里不能放他们走呀。如今是一个萝トー个坑,都走了城里孩子谁教?因此,教师们的困难咱解决不了,有能解决的地方,又不让他们去,真是把他们活活儿憋在这里啦!” In the infrastructure department of the housing allotment system in Xicheng District Education Bureau, Beijing, the responsible comrade said, "Both the state and superiors attach great importance to solving the housing difficulties of primary and middle school teachers. After all, there are more people and fewer houses. Our district is a cultural intensive area in the city, with many schools and teachers. There are over 170 middle schools, primary schools and kindergartens, and 13600 faculties, among which over 6700 households have housing difficulties, including 2500 households with an average per capita housing area of less than 3 square meters. Last year, the second round of housing allotment in the district education bureau system only solved more than 200 old and new households. The difficulties mainly come from two issues-funds and land. Compared to enterprises, education is a section that makes no profits, with a poor background and limited national financial resources. The amount allocated is determined by the government. The land is even more tense, the resettlement of relocated households alone will result in compensation of over 60% for newly built houses. In the past two years, the suburban land has been more spacious and houses have been built to attract teachers from the city, but the city cannot let them go. Nowadays, each has his own task, and there is nobody to spare. If they all leave, who will teach the children in the city? Therefore, we cannot solve the difficulties of teachers. If there are areas where their difficulties can be solved, but we don’t let them go, it is really suffocating for them! "

走出办公室,我在这院里站了很久没有离去。这里正是我小学母校的旧址,如今早已面目全非。在那“大跃进”时期,我们上的都是二部制的小学,老师们仅用了相当于全日制四年的学时教会了我们六年的功课。 Walking out of the office, I stood in this courtyard for a long time without leaving. This was exactly the former site of my alma mater, which had changed beyond recognition. During the period of The Great Leap Forward Movement, we all attended two-shift primary schools, and teachers taught us six years of lessons in only the equivalent of four full-time years.

就在这里,我认识了远古的“有巢氏”…… It was here that I knew the ancient "Youchao"(a legendary Chinese ancestor who lived in a tree).

也就在这里,我第一次读到了《茅屋为秋风所破歌》…… It was here that I first read My Cottage Unroofed by Autumn Gales…

这些都让我想起了张老师、傅老师、吕老师…… All these reminded me of Mr. Zhang, Mr. Fu and Mr. Lu…

只是不知道,他们的名字如今是否也排在那六千七百多家困难户的长长名单里? I just didn’t know if their names were now on the long list of over 6700 households in need?

蜡炬成灰的一代中坚

A Generation of Selfless Dedication

我从你亲人的手中接过这帔遗像,把它立在案头,就这样,在你的目光里,我向人们讲述你的故事—— I took the portrait from your relatives and set it up on the desk. In this way, I told people your story.

马爱媛老师,我在采访中就从教育局听说你被送进医院了。他们说,你是许多接连倒下去的人当中的ー个。我很想找你谈谈,谁知竟去迟了。此刻,你从这张彩照上望着我,笑吟吟的,手里还拿着三支粉笔,可我们已经阴阳隔世。你オ四十多岁,你的最后ー张照片,看上去还那样充满活力,这是在第一个教师节那天照的,三年还没过完,怎么会呢? Mrs. Ma Aiyuan, I heard from the Education Bureau in an interview that you were sent to the hospital. They said, you were one of many people who had fallen one after another. I really wanted to visit you, but I was still late. At the moment, you were looking at me from this color photo with a brilliant smile and three pieces of chalk in hand, but we were in two different worlds. You were only 40 years old, and you looked vigorous in your last photo, which was taken on the first Teacher's Day. Three years had not yet passed. How could it be?

听说一年前,你突然胃疼难忍。去找大夫,说是慢性胆囊炎和浅表性胃炎,可吃了药还是疼,剧痛像放射波直刺后背,逼得你要弯腰走路オ行。两个班的几何课,ー班在本校,ー班在分校,往返两三里路,挪每ー步都那么艰难。 It was said that you suffered from a sudden stomachache a year ago. When you went to the hospital, the doctor diagnosed it as chronic cholecystitis and superficial gastritis. However, it was not relieved after taking the medicine. The sharp pain was like a wave of radiation into your back, forcing you to bend over and walk. You taught two classes geometry. One class was in the main campus, the other was in the branch school. Between them, there was a two- or three-miles round trip, and every step you moved was so difficult.

你不是蒋筑英、罗健夫。你太普通了。你拼命想快点治好这病,ー趟趟地去哀求大夫: You were not Jiang Zhuying or Luo Jianfu. You were too ordinary. You desperately tried to cure this disease, and begged the doctor repeatedly,

“再给我检查检查行吗?疼得厉害呵……” ＂Can you give me another examination? I feel so painful…＂

“疼也没办法。能查的都查过了。” ＂I can't do nothing about it. I have checked all that I can for you.＂

你还能说什么呢?仿佛你故意泡病号似的,而这,让你在校长和同事们关切的目光下很尴尬。又是ー节几何课,虚汗渗出衬衫,你疼得哭起来。学生们也哭:“马老师,您别讲了!”他们搬了张椅子来,让你坐着讲。你没法不服从大夫的“判决”。你无权证明自己有病。 What else could you say? Seemingly, you were pretending to be ill so that you could be absent from work. And this made you very embarrassed under the concerned eyes of the principal and colleagues. It was another geometry lesson. With the sweat seeping out of your shirt, you cried with pain. The students also cried, ＂Mrs. Ma, please stop teaching! ＂They then brought a chair, and invited her to sit and teach. You couldn't disobey the doctor's＂judgment＂. You even had no right to prove that you were sick.

站在四楼窗前,你真想纵身跳下去。跳吧,只需一刹那,就永远解脱了……你偏又往好处想:不是刚刚给教师作过体检?几百人拥进医院,一天工夫全都过了 “筛”,报纸上多了一条消息,大伙儿也都自觉平安。也许大夫是对的,忍ー忍就过去了。你没权利死。两个孩子还小,爱人又在重点中学,你不能撒手……可深夜疼醒了,你看着他的脸,总说:“要不是为了你们……” Standing in the window on the fourth floor, you really wanted to jump from upstairs. Go ahead, and you would be free forever… At that time, you looked on the bright side. The teachers had just had a physical examination. Hundreds of people crowded into the hospital, and all were "sifted" in one day. When there was an extra piece of news in the newspaper, everyone felt relaxed. Maybe the doctor was right. Only by putting up with it could you be well. After all, you had no rights to die because your two children were too young and your husband was busy in the key middle school…When you woke up in pain in the middle of the night, you always looked at his face and said, "if it were not for you …"

也是当大夫的姐姐来了:“你去查查CT吧。” Your elder sister was a doctor. She said, " Go and check the CT. "

姐姐告诉你,CT能诊断癌症,但费用昂贵。 Your sister told you that CT could diagnose cancer, but it was expensive.

“做CT?不行。也没必要!”依然是冰冷的声音。 Still the cold voice, "CT? No! There is no need! "

你只好自己拿钱,到姐姐的医院去做。两周后,检查结果出来:肝癌后期,已扩散,无法手术。CT成了死亡宣判者。 In this case, you had to spend your own money and do it at your sister’s hospital. Two weeks later, the examination results showed that liver cancer was in its later stage and had spread, making it inoperable. CT became the adjudicator of death.

校长赶来了,你欠起身子说: When the principal arrived, you leaned up and said,

“您看,我是有病。这下好了。查出来就好治了。等治好了,您再给我加点课。” "You see. I’m indeed sick. Now, since the physical problem has been identified, it will be easy to cure. When I’m well, please add some extra classes to me."

你终于可以心安理得地躺下来了,只是并不知道是在生命的余光照耀下。 Finally, you could lie down with peace of mind, but you didn't know that your life was coming to an end.

你说,我实在太累了,我已经把一生的劲儿都使完了。二十五年里,有十八个春秋你是在远郊区农村中学度过的。ー个星期的巴望和四五个小时的颠簸,是你回城看看孩子的代价。真的回城来,教师和主妇两副担子又把你压得喘不过气。长期的奔波劳碌、长期的睡眠不足、长期的营养欠佳、长期的负重过度…… You said you were so tired that you had used up all your energy in life. In 25 years, you spent 18 years in rural middle school of the far suburbs. Every time you went back to the city to look after the children, you had to wait for a week and took a ride of four or five hours. Upon arriving at home, you would be overwhelmed by the burdens of being a teacher and a housewife. Long-term hard work, long-term lack of sleep, long-term poor nutrition, long-term overload…

爱人带着多少人的牵挂来看你了:他大学里的七十个同学凑了七百元,做教研员的同事们凑了三百元。不就是几个钱曾经把你挡在医院门外?他们把这一切同病相怜之慨、惋惜悲悯之情、急切希冀之愿都堆到你的床前。他们从你身上看到了自己。他们不能接受你在四十六岁的诀别。他们害怕你这么早就被推入阴曹地府。他们想拉住你…… Your husband came to see you with the concern of many people. Seventy of his classmates in the university raised 700 yuan, and his colleagues, who were teachers and researchers, raised 300 yuan. Wasn't it money that once kept you out of the hospital? They heaped all these feelings of compassion, pity, and eagerness to you because they saw themselves in you. Therefore, they couldn’t accept your farewell at the age of 46. They were afraid that you would be pushed into the underworld so early. They wanted to hold you.

你却终于走进去了。 But you finally walked into the gate of hell.

那洞开的鬼门关,仿佛还在等待下ー个。 The open door seemed to be waiting for the next one.

下ー个该轮到谁了呢?阳间的人都在恐惧。 Who would be the next one? Everyone alive was terrified.

他们有的老了。有的同你ー样,正届壮年却已心力交瘁,健康水平很差。西城区四千多名中学教师里,因病全休者二百三十三人,半休者二百七十二人,带病工作者二百零五人。就在最近的一次体检中,展览路ー小四十九名教师中竟查出四十六人有病,其中二十二人生了肿瘤…… Some of them were old. Some was exhausted and in poor health in their prime of life, which was the same as you. Among the over 4, 000 middle school teachers in Xicheng District, 233 were on full rest due to illness, 272 were on half-rest, and 205 were sick workers. In a recent physical examination, 46 of the 49 teachers in the exhibition road were found to be sick, of whom 22 had tumors…

15中学校长说:“我们ー百个教师中,就有六十五个病号,大多都是中年。他们长期带病教课,弄不好就晕在讲坛上,病误久了再治也难以挽回。” The headmaster of the 15th Middle School said, "Among our 100 teachers, there are 65 patients, most of whom are middle-aged. They have been teaching with illness for a long time. If things don’t go well, they may faint on the pulpit, and it will be difficult for them to recover from the long delay in treatment. "

有研究认为,人类寿命可望达到二百岁。 Some studies believed that in 1986 human life expectancy was expected to reach 200 years.

据悉,1986年北京市人口平均寿命已超过七十岁。 It was reported that in 1986 the average life expectancy of the population in Beijing had exceeded 70 years.

我从西城区教育局人事科那本厚厚的死亡教师名册上却看到:1985、1986两年该区死亡教师（包括已退休者）的平均寿命为五十几岁,其中未到退休年龄即死亡者占将近一半。 From the thick roster of deceased teachers in the Personnel Department of the Xicheng District Education Bureau, I saw that the average lifespan of deceased teachers (including retirees) in the area in 1985 and 1986 was in their fifties, with nearly half of them dying before the retirement age.

你,马老师,并未死于非命,也不是死于误诊。与其说你死于病魔,倒不如说你死于某种堂而皇之的不公平——因了你的死,我才知道了世人大约很少注意的ー样蹊跷:公费医疗的三联单是有区别的。 Mrs. Ma, you did not die unexpectedly, nor did you die from misdiagnosis. It was not so much that you died of illness as of some kind of blatant injustice. Because of your death, I knew something that people rarely paid attention to- there was a difference between the triple bill for public medical expenses.

企业单位的,医生见了属于放胆开出大方子以求妙手回春之效。企业向国家提供利润,还利于民,天公地道。 When enterprises came to see a doctor, the doctor would prescribe expensive prescriptions in order to find a cure. It was fair for enterprises to provide profits to the state and benefits to the people.

事业单位的,若是中小学,加盖了学校医务用章,一次方子价格不得超过三元钱,医生也是无奈,他越有良心就越怕给教师看病。怪谁呢?学校不能提供利润,它只是向孩子们注入知识,孩子们把知识带走了。孩子们是它的产品,而且还只是半成品。社会似乎不肯为这些半成品付款。这桩交换在半腰里中断了。在知识的殿堂里兑现常常是不等值的。 For those in public institutions, especially in primary and middle schools, their prescription with a school's medical seal shall not exceed three yuan at a time. The doctor had no choice. The more conscientious he was, the more afraid he was of treating a teacher. Who was to blame? The school didn't provide profit. What it did was to inject knowledge into children, and they took it away. Children were its products, but they were semi-finished products. Seemingly, our society was unwilling to pay for these semi-finished products. In this case, the exchange broke off in the middle. Cashing in the temple of knowledge was often not equivalent.

谁又能说这差别不公平呢? Who could say that the difference was unfair?

或许只有你这样的死オ足以把不公平显示给世人,也未可知。 Perhaps only a death like yours was enough to show injustice to the world, and it was unknown.

他,ー个北京市凤毛麟角的小学特级教师、区人大代表候选人,竟在今年 4月22日凌晨,突然挥刀砍伤妻子和女儿,然后坠楼身亡。这桩惨祸在民间不胫而走,四处流传,不久也刮到我们耳朵里,于是我们立即搁笔前去探访。从某些不愿透露姓名的知情者口中,我们虽然只了解到ー些扑朔迷离的现象, 却也能够大致勾勒出一代蜡炬成灰者难逃苦境的极端的一例—— To everyone’s surprise, the man, a rare primary school teacher in Beijing and a candidate for the district people's congress, suddenly cut his wife and daughter with a knife and then fell to his death. This tragedy spread widely among people and soon caught our ears, so we immediately stopped writing and went to interview. According to some anonymous insiders, we only learnt some complicated and confusing phenomena, but we could roughly outline an extreme example of a selfless generation who was unable to escape the hardships-

Z老师,你躺在太平间里,已经五十多天了。你的死讯,像晴天里一个炸雷,叫人们惊骇得至今魂魄不定,至今难以置信:像你这样精明强干、通情达理的人,正在事业一帆风顺不可限量的旺火头上,怎么会突然如此惨烈地自己毁灭自己呢? Mr. Z, you had been lying in the mortuary for more than 50 days. The news of your death, like a thunder on a sunny day, frightened people so much that they were still badly shaken, unwilling to believe it. You were so competent and reasonable, and had unlimited career. How could you suddenly destroy yourself so tragically?

你为什么要这样做? Why did you do that?

同事们说,你是ー个从来不肯认输的人。为了探索一条培养学生能力的办学路子,你敞开教室大门,欢迎大家都来听你讲课,任人评价。你要向人们证明,小学教师可以不靠演戏作假也能把课讲活。那时候,有几个人敢这样大胆?那分明是把自己暴露到大庭广众之下,直面各种挑剔和诘难,弄不好就会身败名裂的。听课的人从区里扩展到市里,又从市里扩展到全国,常常教室里挤不下,窗外都站满了人。你把门向全国敞开了。你越讲越自由,如入无人之境。你成功了。各地慕名拥来的人把校园变成了熙攘闹市,人们记录你的教案,整理你的课堂教学纪实,给你录像,叫你带徒弟,ー带就是十七个。你一切都不能拒绝,包括上面给你的那些荣誉——特级教师、市教育工会委员、区人大代表候选人等等。你从来没有说过这一切你已经承受不了了。在盛名和荣誉的背后,你必须靠超负荷的辛劳和比辛劳更费カ的周旋、平衡、应酬来支撑。你得恭敬地承认所有上司都是你的伯乐。你用教书博得的声望,要用处理人事关系的八面玲珑来维持。一方面是无数人来求你传经,另一方面你又得向无数人作揖。你在“两条战线”上挣扎。终于,你的精神承受不了了。 Colleagues said that you were a person who would never give up. In order to explore a way to cultivate students' abilities, you opened the door of the classroom and welcomed everyone to listen to your lectures and be evaluated by others. You wanted to prove that elementary school teachers could give their lectures alive without relying on acting and cheating. At that time, how many people dared to be so bold? You were exposing yourself to various criticisms in public. Every mistake would leave your reputation in ruins. Fortunately, the audience expanded from the district to the city, and then from the city to the whole country. Often the classroom was so crowded that people had to stand outside the window. Therefore, you opened the door to the whole country. The more you taught, the freer you were, as if you were in no man's land. You did it! The crowds of people from all over the country turned the campus into a bustling market. People recorded your lesson plans, organized your classroom teaching records and videoed you. They also asked you to train 17 apprentices! You couldn’t refuse anything, including the honors given to you by the leaders – the special-grade teacher, a member of the municipal education union, a candidate for district people's congress representatives, and so on. Behind the fame and honor, you must rely on overwork and even more arduous maneuvers, balance, and socializing to support it. You must respectfully admit that all superiors were your boles. The reputation you gained through teaching should be maintained through your skillful handling of personnel relations. On the one hand, countless people came to learn from you. On the other hand, you had to bow to countless people. You were struggling on these two fronts. Finally, your spirit couldn’t bear it anymore.

你的同事们已经说不清楚,你的精神是何时出毛病的。他们说,今年元旦后你跌了一跤就开始反常了。妻子回忆说,你常常从梦里惊醒。你告诉她,近来你好几次瞧见已经去世的姥姥和妈妈来看你。人们都把这看作玩笑。后来,你在夜里又总觉得阳台上有个人影。可周围没人意识到这是ー个可怕的征兆。你在惊恐之余照样还得天天开门讲课。生活和工作的节奏绝不会因为你的意愿而有丝毫改变。我想,你当时一定会在心底里哀求它停一下,可那是办不到的。你开始出现头疼, 做了一次CT检查,发现前额里面有瘀血,区里和学校的领导都很着急,让你休息治病。可过完寒假你又要上班,误了几天课你就像犯了多大错误似的内疚。不出ー个星期,你便越发地反常起来,以致终于无可挽回地疾速走向崩溃…… Your colleagues couldn’t tell when your mental state went wrong. According to them, after New Year’s Day this year, you fell and started to be abnormal. Your wife recalled that you often woke up from dreams, and told her that you had seen your deceased grandma and mother visiting you several times recently. All took it as a joke. Later, you always felt that there was a figure on the balcony. No one around you realized that this was a dire omen. When you were terrified, you still opened the door and lectured every day. The rhythm of life and work would never change in the slightest because of your wishes. I thought you must have begged in the bottom of your heart, wishing life to stop for a while. However, that was impossible. You started to have a headache, and was examined to have blood bruises on your forehead. The leaders of the district and the school were very anxious and asked you to rest and have a treatment. However, after the winter vacation, you asked to go to work again. You felt extremely guilty for missing a few days’ classes. Within a week, you became increasingly abnormal, and finally collapsed irreparably and quickly...

人们多么不愿意向我描述你最后的惨状呵! How reluctant people were to describe your last misery to me!

你先是怀疑十几年来和你相濡以沫的妻子要谋害你,你不肯吃她给你做的饭, 不喝家里的开水。继而你又怀疑姑姑、姐姐和全家人都要谋害你。最后,你把共事多年的校长也打进了“谋害集团”。我一直想去请教精神科医生:ー个获得很多荣誉的人如此疑心被人迫害,应当怎样解释?你在家里到处搜索窃听器。你把壶里的水碱、墙上的烟油、草根、花瓣都当成“谋害证据”装进ー只书包整天背着。你还背着ー口铝锅来学校煮水喝,否则就喝自来水。你形容枯槁、神情恍惚,两手抖个不停。明白的人说你精神已经趋向分裂了,某些压根不懂得世上有精神病而只知道世人有思想问题的人,诲人不倦地天天跟你谈话做“思想工作”。你便在这样的 “治疗”下注定在劫难逃了。可怜的是,从ー开始就没有人懂得怎样救你。人们会培养你、使用你、抬举你,享受你挣来的荣誉和当你伯乐的愉悦,却不知道你被疯魔攫住后如何把你抢出来。于是,你便在疯魔使出的巫术支配下,演了一出人间悲剧…… At first, you had a suspicion that your wife who had been with you for over a decade was going to murder you. With this thought, you refused to eat the food she cooked or drink the boiled water at home. Then, you suspected that your aunt, sister, and entire family were all plotting against you. At last, you joined the principal with whom you had worked for many years into the "conspiracy group". I always wanted to consult a psychiatrist- how should a person who had won so many honors be so suspicious of being persecuted? You searched for eavesdropping devices everywhere in your home. You put the water alkali from the pot, the tobacco oil on the wall, the roots of grass, and the petals of flowers as "evidence of murder" in a backpack and carried it all day long. You also went to school with an aluminum pot to boil drinking water, otherwise you would drink tap water. You looked haggard and dazed, with your hands keeping shaking. Some who knew you well were clear that you were getting schizophrenic. Those who knew nothing about mental illness believed that you had a problem with your thoughts. Therefore, they kept talking to you to do your "ideological work". It was under such "treatment" that you were doomed. Unfortunately, no one knew how to save you in the first place. They knew how to cultivate you, use you and elevate you, thus enjoying the honors you had earned and the pleasure of being your boles, but they didn't know how to snatch you out after you were going crazy. So you acted out a tragedy under the madness…

你留给这个世界让人们去分析、总结、讨论乃至反思的东西太多了。记得加缪曾说过:“清醒的自杀,乃是承认生活是不值得的。”你临死前是疯狂的,不清醒的。但你是怎样从理智和清醒走到最后这一步来的呢?虽然这个问题如今大约是很难弄清,也很少有人愿意去弄清它了。你在活着的时候,没法把这一切痛苦向人们解释得清,最后就只有把痛苦以最强烈的方式留给人们去品味和咀嚼了。 You left so much for the world to analyze, summarize, discuss and reflect upon. Albert Camus once said, "The conscious suicide is an admission that life is not worth it." While you were insane unconscious before you passed away. How did you get from sanity and sobriety to this final step? This problem was probably difficult to figure out now, and few people were willing to do it. When you were alive, you couldn’t explain all these pains to people. And you ended up leaving them for people to taste and chew in the most intense way possible.

我们依然愿意对你说一声:安息吧,Z老师。这个世界没有权カ责备你,虽然它不会隆重地安葬你,评价你。但每ー个体验到你的痛苦的人,都会把你安葬在心底的。 We were still willing to talk to you, "Rest in peace, Teacher Z. The world has no right to blame you, although it will not ceremoniously bury you or evaluate you. Everyone who has experienced your pain will bury you deep in their hearts."

他从小就深信自己是一块教书的材料,却偏偏在任教二十五年后,以年过半百之身跳出了中学。他痛苦地向我诉说着一种人生的失败感—— Since childhood，he had been convinced that he was born to be a teacher. However, after teaching for 25 years, he left the middle school at the age of over 50. He painfully confided in me a sense of failure in his life.

跳出来了,再回头看一眼,恍然如梦。下这决心很难,但有比这更难受的事,心也就横了。我自己都奇怪,干了大半辈子,临老了,竟终于忍受不了。我同教育的缘分真的就尽了吗? When I got out of it and looked back, it was just like a dream. It was difficult for me to make this decision, but the thought of something even more painful made my heart firm. To my own surprise, after teaching for so many years, I finally couldn’t bear it at an old age. Was my fate with education really over?

我从小念私塾,读“人之初,性本善”。别人家拿钱来读,我家境苦,给先生捉鸟虫、上小市买菜,才换得书读。那时只迷着跟先生学东西,最佩服先生,觉得当教书先生最神气。 When I was a child, I attended a private school where I learned “Man’s nature at birth is good." Those who were rich went to school with money. While I lived a hard life, so I caught birds and insects for my teacher to earn the chance of study. At that time, I was only obsessed with learning from my teachers, and admired them most. In my point of view, being a teacher was the greatest thing in the world.

新中国成立后オ进小学。读四年级就得做小先生,帮助老师教低年级的同学。我干得可上劲了,觉得自己就是同教书有缘分,要不,中学里怎么就爱给《辅导员》杂志写稿,大学又读了师范?可是,后来真的当了教师,而且足足干了二十五年才明白,我原不该是这教书的命。 After the establishment of the People's Republic of China, I attended primary school. When I was in the fourth grade, everyone needed to" a little teacher" and help teachers teach students in the lower grades. I worked so hard that I had a feeling that I was destined to teach. Otherwise, why did I keep writing for Counselor magazine in my middle school, and attend a normal college? I really became a teacher later. It was after teaching for twenty-five years that I realized that I was not supposed to be a teacher.

教师做人太难了。凡是要求学生做到的,教师都得身体力行。我不是什么优秀教师,但我也得按最严格的做人标准要求自己,我没体罚过学生,没托学生办过一件私事,没图过学生半点好处,年年教高三,把心都掏给他们了。可到头来我落着什么了呢?学生考上大学了,家长夸孩子聪明;考不上就怨老师教得不好。你都得默默忍着。近两年,连学生也常常瞧不起老师,看到有的学生那股傲劲儿,我真受不了。可受不了又怎么着?人家毕业出去甭管干啥,都比你挣得多、比你活得舒坦、比你神气,你穷教书匠有什么了不起? It was hard to be a teacher. Teachers had to put into practice what students were required to do. I was not an excellent teacher, but I also had to adhere to the strictest standards of conduct. I had never physically punished my students, entrusted them with any personal matters, or got any benefit from them. Every year, I taught the third year of high school, and gave all I had to them. But what did I get in the end? When the students were admitted to university, their parents praised them for their intelligence. While if they failed the exam, they blamed teachers for not teaching well. You had to endure this in silence. In the past two years, even students often looked down on teachers. Sometimes, it was unbearable for me to see their arrogant face. What if I couldn’t bear it? No matter what they did after graduation, they earned more, lived a more comfortable and decent life than you. What was so great about being a poor teacher?

我有位邻居,过去耽误了学业,想参加自学考试拿文凭,来求我。我想咱就是教书的,诲人不倦是本分,哪能推?凡是她需要的材料我都给她找来,还把教案给她看;后来她女儿考高中、亲戚考大学,也找我,我都ーー尽心去办,不敢马虎半分。我们当教师的,在如今“学历卡死人”的时候,就怕耽误人家的前程,恨不得替他们去挣ー个。可结果呢?由于一点锅碗瓢勺之间也难免有的碰撞,她就翻脸不认人,冷言冷语说:“你不就是个中学教师吗?有什么了不起?!” A neighbor of mine, who had delayed her studies in the past, wanted to take a self-study exam to get a diploma and came for my help. As a teacher, we should be never be tired of teaching others. Therefore, I accepted her request. I found all the materials she needed and showed her my lesson plans. Later, when her daughter took the high school entrance exam and her relatives took the college entrance exam, she also came to me. I fully devoted myself and dared not to be careless. Nowadays, we teachers were afraid of getting in the way of students and wanted to earn a brilliant future for them when education background was very important. But what happened? Due to some trivial affairs, she completely turned against me and said, "Aren’t you just a high school teacher? What’s so great about you?"

是啊,我们是没什么了不起。可我们也不都是窝囊废,好像甭管多苦多累都是该着的、都不值得尊重。这ロ气说什么我也吞不下去。我要向他们证明,教师这ー行里是藏龙卧虎的!如果干别的,照样呱呱叫。小时候同我ー块儿练字的伙伴有的已经成名,我教了二十五年书,长进不大。一生气我就重操旧业,居然也在书法比赛中获了奖,人家就把我调出去了。 Well. Though we were very ordinary, we weren’t losers. Seemingly, we deserved all these hardships and tiredness, and were not worth respecting, which made me quite upset. Therefore, I wanted to prove that there were many undiscovered talents in this profession. If we were not teachers, we could do well in other things as well. Some friends who practiced calligraphy with me when I was a child had become famous. Since I had been teaching for 25 years, I hadn’t made much progress in this field. To my surprise, When I returned to my old job angrily, I won a prize in the calligraphy competition. In this way, people transferred me out.

最后我就想说一句,韩愈在《马说》中曾经讲过,世之良马若被当作一般马对待,它会连一般的马都不如。它受不了。 Finally, I would like to quote what Han Yu once said in On Horses. If a good horse was treated as an ordinary horse, it would not be as good as an ordinary horse. It couldn't bear it.

第二次跳龙门的人

The Person Who Jumped over the Dragon Gate for the Second Time

跟在蜡炬成灰的一代背后的,是怎样的一代呢? What kind of generation was behind this selfless generation?

他们之中有些人,跨进中学任教之前,曾在那扇大铁门外犹豫彷徨;进来后,面对重重无法解决的困难,他们果然灰心,他们便另谋出路,决定想尽办法跳出这扇大铁门。如果说考大学时他们跳过一次龙门的话,那么如今又得咬紧牙关再跳它一回! Some of them hesitated outside the big iron gate before stepping into the middle school to teach. After entering, when they were faced with the difficulties that couldn't be solved, they were indeed discouraged. Thus, they decided to seek another way out of this big iron gate. If they had jumped a dragon gate when taking the college entrance exam, they now had to try their best and jump over it again!

奇怪吗?难以置信吗?绝对错了吗?倘若你知道他们当初是怎样进来的,便会觉得挺顺理成章的了。 Was it peculiar? Unimaginable? Completely erroneous? If you were aware of how they got into school, you would understand them.

这得从师范院校的毕业分配说起。 This should begin with graduation distribution of normal schools.

四载虽非寒窗,却也晨读暮诵、春耕秋耘、爽言豪气、秘情私语。待ー日日挨近 “大限”,分手在即,竟纷争蜂起,乌眼鸡似的厮斗起来。同窗四年,一朝反目,争的什么?躲的什么?我在采访中偶得某师院82级ー个毕业生追记当年情景的ー篇文字,题为《生死搏斗般的毕业分配》,他说这不过是写来解闷儿的,现在让我们拣来,用在这里—— Although their learning environment was not that harsh, they worked very hard for four years. In this period, they had not only free talks but also secret whispers. However, when the "the time" of separation was approaching, they had a dispute and fought with each other like black chickens. Having been classmates for four years, they once turned against each other. What were they fighting for? What did they hide from? In an interview, I came across the article Graduation Distribution as Life and Death Struggle, which was written by a student who graduated from normal college in 1982. He said he wrote it just to relieve boredom. Now let's pick it up and use it here.

那些日子,至今想起来肝儿颤！ Those days still frightened me the moment I thought of them!

大伙儿全都眼红了。过去烟酒不分的铁哥们儿掰啦,卿卿我我热乎了几年的相好吹啦,平日里最革命最含蓄的主儿也赤膊上阵啦,老实疙瘩榆木脑袋三脚踹不出个屁来的也都鬼了精了伶牙俐齿啦!全系ー百来人有一百多个肚子,ー百多个肚子里有一千多条蛔虫,但九九归一都打着ー个主意:想法把别人踹到中学去,自个儿逃出来。 Everyone was green with envy. The brothers who used to drink and smoke indiscriminately broke up. The lovers who had fallen in love for several years split up. Even the most revolutionary and introverted people joined the competition. Also, those who were usually honest and straightforward became shrewd and articulate. In our department, there were nearly one hundred people. They all possessed their own ideas, but had one thing in common. That was, to kick others into high school and escape on their own.

其实能逃出去几个? “暗度陈仓”只有两条栈道:考研究生和留校。前ー条道,崎岖小径,蹦不过几个去,绝大多数只有望其项背的分儿。留校属于第ー轮争夺战,全系经过一番厮杀,十几个获胜者几乎清一色是党员,败阵众辈愤愤然呼之为“分配先锋队”。 Actually, how many people could escape from it? There were only two ways out. One was to take the postgraduate entrance exam. The other was to stay in school. Between them, the first one was a rugged path that few could pass through. While the vast majority was unable to achieve it. Staying in school was the first round of competition. After a series of battles, almost all winners were party members. Therefore, those who were defeated angrily called them "the vanguard of distribution".

第二轮争夺更加较劲儿。大鱼跑了捞虾米。掐不着头茬嫩尖掐二茬。横竖是当孩子王,留城总比到农村教书强百倍。老蔦儿这小子早就算计到这ー着。自打入学第一天起,就宣布爹妈双双有病,身边离不了端茶倒水的,天天骑车从西到东横跨北京城回家去住。四年过去了,他没沾过宿舍的床。到这节骨眼儿上,他乐了。ー米八的大小伙子成了全班无可争议的“困难户”,第ー个确定留城。 The second round of competition was even more intense. Unable to secure the best, they settled for second best. Anyway, if they had to be teachers, it was better to teach in the city than in the countryside. Lao Niao’er had long been calculating this. Since the first day of school, he announced that his parents were sick and he needed to take care of them. Every day, from west to east across Beijing, he rode his bike home. Four years had passed, and he had never slept in the dormitory. At this critical moment, he was very happy. The young boy of 1.8 meters height had become the undisputed "needy family" in the class, and the first one to stay in the city.

蝴蝴儿和黑蹦筋上下铺睡了四年,吃饭都不分饭票,也算得上“肝胆洞,毛发耸,立谈中,死生同,ー语千金重”。冷不丁传出ー个信儿,他俩得有一个分到郊区,顿时像劈过来ー斧子。黑蹦筋跺脚搬出去了。蝴蝴儿不吭不哈,悄悄往班主任那儿递上ー张证明:本人从小跟姥姥过,最近姥姥遭了车祸,需要留城照顾。黑蹦筋傻了,又蹦又骂。 Huhuer and Hei Bengjin slept in the same bunk bed for four years. They were good brothers who didn't even split their meal tickets. All of a sudden, it was said that one of them had to be assigned to the suburbs. The news was like an axe, cutting off their friendship. Being angry, Hei Bengjin moved out. Meanwhile, Huhuer quietly handed over a certificate to the class teacher, saying, "I have been living with my grandmother since childhood. Recently, she was in a car accident and needs to be taken care of in the city. " Hearing this, Hei Bengjin went crazy and jumped around while cursing.

老蔦儿和蝴蝴儿的招数,令大伙儿叫悔不迭。ー时间,父亲病危、母亲癌症、奶奶骨折、爷爷半瘫,纷纷“报警”。俗话说:锣鼓长了没好戏,戳破了影戏人儿这层纸。大伙儿全都瞎忙——班主任锁上家门走亲戚去了。 The tricks of Huhuer and Hei Bengjin made everyone feel regretful. In a short period of time, there were critically ill fathers, mothers with cancer, grandmas with a broken bone, and half-paralyzed grandpas. However, as the old saying went, "if the drums and gongs play for too long, the performance will not be good; if the illusion is exposed, the true nature of a person will be revealed. " Everyone was busy for nothing. The class teacher locked the door to do home visits.

架不住还有更绝的。大菊子突然宣布爹妈离婚,她和弟弟各归一方,成了独生子女,轻而易举便把本来有条件留城的胖妞挤到郊区。胖妞哭成泪人儿。女生私下议论:不知离婚是真是假? There were even more extreme ones. Da Juzi suddenly announced that her parents got divorced. She and her younger brother each belonged to their parents and became only children. In this case, the chubby girl who was originally able to stay in the city was easily squeezed into the suburbs. She was very sad. Other girls talked privately, " I wonder if the divorce is true or false? "

反正已经是鸡毛韭菜难辨,大伙儿都哄吧。忽传出婚配者也可照顾,于是学校旁边的街道办事处热闹非凡,大伙儿饥不择食地拽ー个挎着胳膊就去排队登记。独生子歪猴儿趁火打劫,把垂涎已久的假西施从秀才手里抢了过来。假西施全校闻名的美人儿,此刻也泪洒相思地,扔下颇有オ气定情多年的秀才去了。谁让他爹妈在郊区呢! Anyway, it was in a mess. Suddenly, it was said that partners could also receive preferential treatment. Therefore, the street office next to the school was bustling with activity. Everyone eagerly grabbed someone’s arm and lined up to register for marriage. As an only son, Wei Hou’er took this advantage and married Jia Xishi that he had long coveted from Xiu Cai. Jia Xishi, the famous beauty of the whole school, was now shedding tears of lovesickness. She broke up with the talented Jia Xiucai with whom she had pledged love for many years. Who made his parents live in the suburbs!

乱哄哄半年过去了。每个人学到的东西都比书本上多。末了作鸟兽散。 Half a year had passed in chaos. Everyone learnt more than what was in books. Finally, everyone scattered.

据西城区教育局对高考改革后四年内分来的大学生的情况调查,来自二十所大专院校的三百八十多人中,不安心工作的占百分之十三,调出教育口的已达四分之一。西城区五年里分来的大学生已走了近三分之一,东城区也走了近四分之一。这些弃教而去者二次跳龙门一般都是四部曲:先是好好十,争考研究生;不让考就泡病号、磨洋工;泡不过就到课堂上瞎讲乱吹,跟学生逗闷子玩;再不行就干脆不辞而别了。 According to a survey by the Education Bureau of Xicheng District on the situation of college students admitted within four years after the reform of the college entrance examination, among more than 380 people from 20 junior colleges, 13% were uneasy about their work, and a quarter had been transferred out of education industry. In Xicheng District, nearly a third of the students had left in the past five years. In Dongcheng District, nearly a quarter had left. Those who gave up teaching and jumped a second dragon gate usually went through the following four stages. They first strived to be postgraduates. If they failed, they would pretend to be ill to avoid teaching. If it didn’t work, they just talked nonsense and played with students in class. If it still didn’t work, they would just leave without saying goodbye.

有一位我们的同行,在某专业报做副刊部主任,就是一年多前从丰台某中学不辞而别的。谈起此事,他便感慨万端: One of our colleagues, who now worked as the director of the supplement department in a professional newspaper, left a Fengtai Middle School without saying goodbye more than a year ago. When it came to this topic, he was filled with emotions.

“我是通过考试招聘到这里来的,没走后门。别人考取了都能录取,就因为我是中学教师,学校卡住不放,只好不辞而别。我是在期末走的,没耽误学生的功课。和我ー块儿分来的大学生,已经有四个人这样做了,都被学校除了名。 " I was recruited here through an exam, without taking any shortcuts. Others who passed the exam were all admitted. I was a middle school teacher, and the school won’t let me go. Therefore, I had to leave without saying goodbye. I left at the end of term, without delaying students’ lessons. Four college students who were assigned here with me had already done so and all been expelled from school.

“刚分到中学时,心里窝火,但并不厌恶。这个学校生源素质差,能考上大学的很少。教师也是颠来倒去折腾一本教材,给自己和学生的发挥余地都不大,因此做教师混日子并不难。我教过语文、历史,也教过外语,让我教啥都能对付。可干了两年多,我就觉得好像站在工厂的流水线上,过来个零件车它一刀就行,都能及格就算完成任务。一有这感觉,就干不下去了。想着ー辈子要耗在这上头,非常害怕,于是拼命想跳出来,可又走不脱。 When I was first assigned to middle school, I felt frustrated, but I didn't hate it. In this school, the quality of students was poor, and very few could be admitted to universities. Teachers also repeatedly taught a textbook, giving themselves and their students little room for creativity. In this case, it was not difficult to become a teacher and muddle along. I had taught Chinese, history, and also foreign languages, so I could teach everything. After working here for more than two years, I felt like I was standing on a factory assembly line. When a parts car came by, I could easily complete the task with just one cut. Once I had this feeling, I couldn't continue working. Thinking that I would spend my whole life on this, I felt very scared and desperately wanted to get out of it, but failed.

“最初没意识到会被除名的。知道了,心里挺难受,但想想人ー生能干事的岁月就那么二十年,也值得。我为了找到自己喜爱的新闻工作,付出了很高的代价, 档案至今还在街道上。” At first, I didn't realize I would be expelled. After knowing it, I felt quite uncomfortable. But considering that there are only 20 years in life to do something, it's worthy. I paid a high price to find a news job that I love, and my archives are still on the street. "

那些分到郊区去的师范生,是这一代里境遇最差因而也折腾得最厉害的。我有一个朋友,是他们中的幸运者。他在城里不断接到那班同学的新消息,听说我写教师,每每当作谈资来同我消遣一番: Those normal students who were sent to the suburbs were the ones with the worst situation and therefore suffered the most in this generation. I had a friend who was the lucky one among them. He kept receiving news from those classmates in the city that I wrote articles about teachers，and made it a point to engage with me on the subject.

“今儿见老程那小子了,他说他前一段接连考了中国青年报社、北京青年报社、中央人民广播电台、北京日报社等好几家新闻单位,屡考屡中,学校愣是不放。他说他都快急疯了。 "Today, I ran into Lao Cheng once more. He told me that he had taken exams for various news agencies like China Youth Daily, Beijing Youth Daily, China National Radio, and Beijing Daily, and had passed them all. Nevertheless, However, the school still won't let him go. He said he was going crazy with impatience.

“听他说,王毅这家伙敢干,干脆辞职啦。回城里到处给人代课去;找不到代课的,他就上火车站扛大个儿,赚了钱满处旅游去,真滋润。前阵子风靡漂流,他还上长江漂流队报名去,人家嫌他是散兵游勇,不要。 According to him, Wang Yi resigned without hesitation. He went everywhere in the city to be a substitute teacher for others; if he couldn't find any substitution, he would carry a big bag to the train station and earn money to travel around, which was really comfortable. Recently, drifting has been popular. He even signed up for the Yangtze River drifting team, but was rejected because he was alone.

“刘海那两口子回不来,天天在家里打架。今天男的找书记,明天女的找校长。头头儿们受不了轮番折腾,让刘海立张字据,放他老婆回城了。女的前脚刚走,刘海就四处活动,据说花了不少钱,也回来啦! The couple of Liu Hai couldn’t come back to city, and fought at home every day. Today, the man was seeking the secretary. While tomorrow, the woman was searching for the principal. The leaders couldn't stand their constant harassment, so they let Liu Hai set up written evidence and sent his wife back to the city. As soon as his wife left, Liu Hai moved around. It was said that he also came back to city after spending a lot of money!

“李维那小子更绝。别人就敢弄张医院证明:粉尘过敏、慢性咽炎、站立性骨关节炎等等去磨缠领导。他不。他四处游说,八方活动,也不知使的什么迷魂阵,让学校党支部闹起矛盾来。这倒好,不用他费劲,人家作揖请他走。怕别处不肯接收,还给他鉴定上天花乱坠一通美言,好歹把他撵回城来了。 Li Wei was more unique. To pester the leaders, others dared to get a hospital certificate for allergies to dust, chronic pharyngitis, standing osteoarthritis, etc. He didn’t. He lobbied around, engaged in activities from all directions. Nobody knew what kind of confusing tactics he used, causing conflicts within the school's Communist Party branch. In this case, there was no need for him to bother. The leaders bowed and asked him to leave. They were afraid that Li would not be accepted elsewhere, so they gave him a brilliant compliment on his appraisal and finally drove him back to the city.

“剩下就苦了那些没路子不会折腾的主儿,在那里苦熬。心里窝火没处泄,备不住出事。分到矿区中学的老周,平时就好摆弄拳脚,有回在长途汽车上遇上几个流氓滋事,看不过去,ー时性起用水果刀捅死了一个,判了死缓,发配新疆,最近听说他去那儿给劳改犯教书呢。 It's tough for those who have no way out and don't know how to struggle, they have to endure the hardship there. If there is no place to vent anger, accidents are likely to happen. Lao Zhou, who was assigned to the middle school in the mining area, was good at fighting. One day, while on a long-distance bus, he encountered a group of hooligans causing a disturbance. Unable to tolerate their behavior, he used a fruit knife to stab one of the hooligans, resulting in the individual's death. As a consequence, Lao Zhou was given a suspended death sentence and relocated to Xinjiang. It has been reported that he is now teaching reformed prisoners in the region.

“也有逼急了搞曲线回城的,壮胆支援西北,两年后重返北京。我们班女生方玲玩儿更悬的,凭着一嘴日语,不知怎么挂上个日本留学生,要他领出去留学。那日本人八成是‘正想瞌睡塞过来ー个枕头’,满嘴答应。谁知一回国就杳无音信了,倒给她撇下了一个混血儿。 Among the girls in our class, Fang Ling was the most adventurous. With her fluent Japanese, she somehow managed to attract a Japanese exchange student and asked him to take her abroad for further studies. This was highly probable what the Japanese wanted, so he merely mouthed agreement without genuine intent. Unexpectedly, as soon as he returned to Japan, there was no news, leaving her with a half-breed.

“反正呀,跳出来的哪个都比过去混得好。有当处长的、报社副主编的;有做经理常去香港溜溜的;也有成万元户的;还有写小说的、搞书法的、大学教书的、出国留学的,等等。我们那会儿ー共毕业ー百七十多人,掐指算算,如今还留在中学的, 也就只剩七八十人了。” Anyway, whoever jumps out will do better than before. There are some who work as directors, deputy editors of newspapers, some who often go to Hong Kong for a stroll, some who have become households with an annual income of 10,000 yuan, and some who write novels, engage in calligraphy, teach at universities, study abroad…At that time when we graduated, there were more than 170 people. There are only seventy or eighty people left in high school today. "

不下“金蛋”的母鸡及其饥饿

The Hen Who Didn't Lay the ＂Golden Egg ＂and Its Hunger

1984年6月2日《人民日报》刊登了一封题为《值得忧虑的ー个现象》的读者来信,作者是山东益都二中教师刘沂生。信中写道: On June 2,1984, the People's Daily published a letter from a reader entitled A Worrisome Phenomenon. It was from Liu Yisheng, a teacher of Yidu No.2 Middle School in Shandong Province.

“这几年来,最艰巨的任务是动员学生报考农、林、水、矿及师范院校。说实在的,学生的志愿是衡量广大群众好恶以及哪些行业得到人们尊重的ー杆秤,而且是ー杆相当灵敏、相当准确的秤……师范院校的招生名额,几乎占总招生名额的ー半,而第一志愿报考的人数却是零。这个现象能不使人感到忧虑吗?它说明,教师在人们心目中的地位并没有真正提高。” "In recent years, the most arduous task is to mobilize students to apply for agriculture, forestry, water, mining and normal colleges. To tell the truth, the student’s aspiration is just like a quite sensitive accurate steelyard which can measure the likes and dislikes of the broad massed. It can also tell which industries are respected by people…The enrollment quota of normal universities accounts for almost half of the total, while the number of people who volunteer for the examination in the first place is zero. Can this phenomenon not trigger concern? It indicates that the status of teachers in people's minds has not truly improved. "

这封信竟立刻产生了意想不到的重大反响。几乎就在第三天,9月4日,中央领导做了重要批示。 The letter was immediately produced unexpected significant repercussions. Almost on the third day, September 4, the central leadership gave an important instruction.

三个多月后,新华通讯社发出通稿—— Over three months later, Xinhua News Agency issued a press release.

“教育部部长何东昌在接受本社记者访问的时候非常高兴地指出:'党中央和国务院一直在关怀和研究教师的问题,教师工作将逐步成为社会最使人羡慕的职业之一!’” " He Dongchang, Minister of Education, was very pleased to point out during an interview with our reporter, ‘The Party Central Committee and the State Council have been caring and studying the issue of teachers, and teacher will gradually become one of the most enviable occupations in society’! "

这则新闻第一次向全国披露了中央领导9月4日批示后三个多月里有关部门研究提出的落实措施,其主要内容,《人民日报》以醒目的黑体字赫然标在题头: For the first time, the news disclosed to the whole country the implementation measures which were proposed by relevant departments over the past three months after the central leadership's approval on September 4th. Its main content was prominently marked in bold font in the title of the People's Daily.

工资:明年元旦开始给中小学教师以较大增加住房:地方为主国家补助筹集中小学住房资金地位:尊重知识尊重人才尊敬教师风尚在形成＂Salary-there will be a significant increase in salary of primary and middle school teachers. Housing-to raise housing funds for primary and middle school teachers by giving priority to locality and receiving state assistance. Status-the trend of respecting knowledge, talents, and teachers is forming＂

这,可以说是自1957年知识分子逐步沦入“臭老九”境地以来,也是拨乱反正以来令中小学教师最兴奋也最具有实质性的一次福音。他们等了它已经快三十年了。 This could be said to be the most exciting and substantial gospel for primary and middle school teachers since the intellectuals had gradually fallen into the category of "choulaojiu” (undesirable people during the ' Cultural Revolution' (1966-1976) along with landlords, rich farmers, counter-revolutionaries, bad elements, rightists, traitors, spies and capitalist-roaders) in 1957 and since ＂bringing order out of chaos＂.They had been waiting for it for nearly 30 years.

这福音自然带来希望,带来鼓舞。然而,他们很快就发现:这福音的真正实现谈何容易!国家财政困难,急需用钱的地方很多,还有一个照顾左邻右舍的平衡问题……他们当然也都知道。 This gospel would naturally bring hope and inspiration. However, they soon realized that it was uneasy to achieve this gospel! Now, China was in financial difficulties, and in urgent need of money. It also had to keep the balance with neighbors…Of course, they all knew this.

“眼下呀,中小学教师究竟算不算知识分子,还悬哪!”她带着ー丝苦笑对我们说。她是某师范大学专门研究教育科学的专家。她自己在五十年代为普通教育而牺牲了上大学的机会。＂At the moment, whether primary and middle school teachers are intellectuals or not is still uncertain! "，she said to us with a bitter smile. She herself was an expert in education science at a normal university. In the 1950s, she sacrificed the opportunity to attend university for general education.

“理论上是非常尊重的,但一具体到现实里,中学教师中无大学学历者,不承认你是知识分子;小学教师就更有争议了。这对他们是ー个很大的打击。全国人代会对此呼吁也很强烈。现在要我们搞《教师法（草案）》,就碰到ー个怎么计算和估量教师劳动价值的问题。它究竟是简单的重复性劳动,还是复杂的创造性劳动? 从一方面看,教师翻来覆去老教一本书,久而久之就成了教书匠;但从另一方面看, 教无定法,再好的教材没有教师也白费,全靠教师的教学艺术才能转化为学生的能力。教师的劳动凝结、物化在学生的能力当中,长期处于ー种潜在形态;而当这些学生一批又一批成为工人、农民、医生、工程师、作家、科学家以后并大量创造财富时,教师的劳动同这些具有社会现实价值的成果已经离得很远,隔了一层。有人计算,ー个工程师和科学家一生所用的知识总量中,在学校教育中获得的仅占百分之二十五左右。教师只有借助他人的成果才能实现其价值。那么,教师劳动的这种特殊性,社会是否应当承认?教师应不应该特殊ー些?我们认为应该特殊,应该理直气壮地呼吁特殊政策,比如工资高ー级、实行补贴、给予特殊评价和称号等等。可是,这样ー来,社会其他职业就有意见,医生、清道夫、售货员,谁不特殊?谁不艰苦?谁贡献不大?社会就害怕失去平衡,于是只好牺牲教师的利益。而这样ー来, 势必又会导致教师的积极性受挫伤。为了维持局面,学校就得向社会搞‘利益均沾’,一手抓分、一手抓钱,甚至利用家长的关系谋点好处,把教育这崇高的东西亵渎了。教师难以维持自己的职业道德,是ー个很深刻的悲剧。他们说: ‘班主任津贴只有八块钱,日均一个学生七厘,管ー个学生还不如去看ー辆自行车,我情愿每月倒找你八块钱也不当这个孩子王’! ” ＂In theory, teachers are highly respected. While in reality, those middle school teachers who have no university degrees are not considered as intellectuals. In this regard, elementary school teachers are even more controversial. This a huge blow to them. The National People's Congress also strongly calls for this. Now, when we are working on the Teachers 'Law (Draft), we are confronted with the problem of how to calculate and estimate the value of teachers' labor. Is it simple repetitive labor or complex creative labor? On the one hand, if a teacher keeps teaching a book over and over again, he will become a "Jiaoshu Jiang". On the other hand, there is no fixed way of teaching. No matter how good the teaching material is, it will be in vain without teachers. It depends on the teaching art of teachers to transform it into students' abilities. Teachers 'labor is condensed and materialized in students' ability, which has been in a potential form for a long time. And when these students become workers, farmers, doctors, engineers, writers, scientists one after another and create a lot of wealth, the labor of teachers is far from these achievements with social reality value, separated by a layer. Some people calculate that only about 25 percent of the total knowledge used by an engineer or scientist in his or her lifetime is acquired through school education. Only by relying on the achievements of students can teachers realize their value. Therefore, should the society recognize the particularity of teachers 'labor? Should teachers be special? We believe that special policies should be adopted, and we should call for such policies in a straightforward manner, such as higher wages, subsidies, and special evaluations and titles. However, in this way, there are opinions from other professions in society. How about doctors, scavengers and salesmen? Who's not special? Who is not difficult? Who contributed less? Society is afraid of losing balance, so it has to sacrifice the interests of teachers. In this way, it is bound to dampen teachers' enthusiasm. In order to maintain the situation, schools have to engage in a 'sharing of interests' with society. They focus on both points and money, and even use parental relationships to seek benefits, desecrating the noble thing of education. It is a profound tragedy that teachers have difficulty maintaining their professional ethics. They said, 'The class teacher's allowance is only eight yuan, with an average of seven percent per student per day. It's better to watch a bicycle than to manage a student. I would rather give you eight yuan than be the children’s king '. ＂

教育是只母鸡。这个概念似乎来自日本。那岛国在二次大战后的绝境中仍未忽视中小学普通教育,这在后来的经济起飞中产生了他们称之为“金蛋作用”的奇迹。 The concept of ＂education is a hen＂seemed to come from Japan. In the desperate situation after World War II, the island country still did not ignore general education in primary and middle schools, which produced what they called the "golden egg effect" in the later economic takeoff.

母鸡出毛病了便下不了金蛋。 A hen couldn’t lay a golden egg when something was wrong with it.

中国的母鸡究竟得了什么病?我们说不清。不过有一点是明显的,缸里米不多,人还不够吃,舍不得喂它,只弄些谷糠对付它,自然没蛋。 We couldn't tell exactly what ailed Chinese hens. However, it was obvious that there was not much rich in the jar, and people had not enough food to eat. Therefore, they were reluctant to feed it rice, only fed it some bran. In this case, it naturally had no eggs.

关于教育落后与财政困难这对两难命题,太复杂,我们无カ探究,只是从ー些公开发表的材料中,仿佛意会到这只母鸡原本是能多吃到几粒米的。 When it came to the dilemma between backward education and financial difficulties, it was too complicated for us to explore. It was only from some published materials that we realized that the hen could have eaten more rice.

有位权威人士几年前曾发表过这样的谈话:由于我们过去三十年来教育和经济比例关系严重失调,欠账太多,越穷办教育越少,教育办得越少就越穷。只有全党和全社会重视和支持教育,才能把这种恶性循环逐步转为良性循环。欠账欠多少?现在中央对教育和经济的关系这些规律认识比较明确。小平同志讲,实现“四化”,科学是关键,教育是基础。但这个精神并没有被人们普遍认识、理解、接受。往往安排计划,总是先考虑工程,剩下多少钱,再给教育;往往一遇到灾荒和困难, 首先拿教育经费来救灾。本人说:现在的教育,就是十年后的エ业。我们是倒过来。我们还没有真正把教育摆在优先地位。教师特别是小学教师エ资太低,斯文扫地啊!世界银行派代表团来考察对中国的贷款,他们不能理解:你们这么低的エ资怎么能办好教育?可是我们同人家谈判时,最初提的各个项目,没有教育方面的。人家说:你们怎么不提教育?人的资源开发是最重要的。后来人家把教育摆在优先援助地位,列为第一个项目。我们要等人家来给我们上课。 A few years ago, an authoritative figure made such a statement, ＂Because of the serious imbalance between education and the economy over the past three decades, we owed too much. The poorer we are, the less we spend on education. The less we spend on education, the poorer we will be. Only when the whole party and the whole society attach importance to and support education can this vicious circle be gradually turned into a virtuous circle. How much debt did we owe? Now the central government has a clear understanding of these laws on the relationship between education and economy. Comrade Deng Xiaoping said that science is the key, and education is the foundation to realize the "four modernizations". However, this spirit has not been widely recognized, understood or accepted by people. As usual, when it comes to the scheme of arrangement, projects will be first considered. Then the remaining money will be given to education. In the event of famine and difficulties, education funds are first expropriated for disaster relief. I believe that today’s education is the industry ten years later, but we have been backwards. We haven't really made education a priority. Teachers, especially primary school teachers, have little money. Gentle sweeping! When the World Bank sent a delegation to examine the loan to China, they could not understand how we can do a good job in education with such low capital. However, when we were negotiating with families, the various projects we initially proposed did not involve education. They said, ‘ Why didn't you mention education? ’ Later, they made education a priority and listed it as the first project. Now, we have to wait for them to teach us. ＂

其实,母鸡早就饿得等不及了。 In fact, the hen had long been hungry and couldn't wait any more.

它自己到处啄米,也不管谁高兴不高兴。 It pecked rice everywhere, regardless of others’ feelings.

我们忽然联想到ー个久违的名词:曲线。 We suddenly thought of a long-lost noun-curve.

“曲线救国”,自是早已臭名昭著。＂Curve to save the country＂ had long been notorious.

如今,教育却在“曲线”救自己。竟有效益。 Nowadays, education was rescuing itself on a 'curve', which was very beneficial.

北京第八中学里升起一群耀眼的童星: A group of dazzling child stars rose in Beijing No.8 Middle School-

杨植滨,从80年代起开始观测、收集哈雷彗星资料,写成一篇颇得天文学家好评的论文; Yang Zhibin, who began observing and collecting data on Halley's Comet in the 1980 's, wrote a paper that won a lot of praise from astronomers.

徐菁,这女孩独自翻译了四万字的《三十九级台阶》; Xu Jing alone translated The Thirty-Nine Steps, which was the forty thousand words.

马跃,设计绘制了二十三张名为“希望之星”的奥运村系列设计图； Ma Yue made 23 design drawings for the Olympic Village series called "Star of Hope".

蔡轶春,初一女生,1986年全国青少年华罗庚金杯赛北京市一等奖获得者; Cai Yichun, a first-year female student, won the first prize in the 1986 National Youth Hua Luogeng Gold Cup in Beijing.

李兵,小伙子在市化学协会上宣读了两篇化学论文并进行了答辩； Li Bing read out two chemical papers and defended them at the Municipal Chemical Association.

严谨,绘画作品在国际上获中国奥林匹克奖； Yan Jin’s painting works won the China Olympic Award in the world.

李昊,这个少儿班的小男孩夺走了 1986年计算机竞赛一等奖…… Li Hao, the little boy in the children's class, won the first prize in the computer competition in 1986.

可谁能相信,这些“神童”居然都产生在同一所中学里呢? Who would believe that these "child prodigies" were actually from the same middle school?

但,这是事实。 However, this was the truth.

究其原因,很重要的一条便是校长陶祖伟有个“财神爷”。这“财神爷”并不是哪位财政局长,而是他那个年利润达四十七万元（学校实得二十万元）的校办エ厂。靠这笔钱,他可以给班主任十八元津贴,陪早读的再加七八元早点费;任课教师另有课时补贴、教案补贴、超工作量补贴、实验或作业补贴,等等;他还用这笔钱促使教师多办各种课外小组,每带ー个小组活动ー次,他付给二至五元报酬。于是,这所中学竟有八门选修课:生物医学、形式逻辑、美学基础、古诗词选讲、自然科学方法论、高级英语、初级日语、近代生物学概论,还有管理学、电子琴、京剧昆曲、书法、图画等五十多个活动小组。 One of the most important reasons was that Principal Tao Zuwei had a "God of Wealth." This "God of Wealth" was not a financial director, but his school-run factory with an annual profit of 470,000 yuan (the school actually earned 200,000 yuan). With this money, he could give class teachers an allowance of 18 yuan. For those who accompanied students’ early reading, he would give an additional breakfast fee of 7 or 8 yuan. Teachers also received class hour subsidies, lesson plan subsidies, over workload subsidies, experimental or homework subsidies, and so on. He also used the money to urge teachers to set up various extracurricular groups, and he paid two to five yuan for each group activity. Therefore, there were eight elective courses in this middle school, including biomedicine, formal logic, aesthetic foundation, selected lectures on ancient poetry, methodology of natural science, advanced English, junior Japanese and introduction to modern biology. More than 50 activity groups were set up, which included management, electronic organ, Beijing opera and Kunqu opera, calligraphy, and painting.

兴旺如此,陶校长仍有神通不逮之处:住房。他们几个领导常揣些钱,到“拥挤户”家里去转转,退出门来,当场核计,塞几张“大团结”给寒舍中的教师,虽不济事,也是一点安慰,每每令老师热泪盈眶。他还忍痛把学校操场割让出ー半,给教育局盖周转房,盼着分点房子。 Though his school was prosperous, there was still something that he couldn’t deal with. That was the issue of housing. The school leaders often carried some money to the 'crowded households'. When they came out their houses, they would make a registration on the spot. Though it might not solve the actual issue of housing by giving dozens of yuan to teachers living in humble houses, it comforted them. Every time, teachers would be moved to tears. Principal Tao also reluctantly ceded half of the school playground to the Education Bureau to build turnover houses, looking forward to the house division.

别人都很羡慕八中,可陶校长对我们说: Others were envious of Beijing No.8 Middle School, but Principal Tao said to us，

“我不过是在自己力所能及的范围内挣扎。” ＂I am just struggling within my own capabilities＂.

三里河小学校长邢佩芸1977年来这个学校当家时,差点儿没落到武训的境地,她四处化缘磕头,算她交上好运,从科学院弄来ー批本钱,办了一所工厂,每年也有十五万元的进项。老师们第一回领到大把票子,竟全校都扯儿带女奔百货大楼去了,她看着差点儿哭出来。有个老教师得了癌症,注射ー种外国进ロ的针还能维持,但要一百多元一支,过去想都不敢想,她叫医院尽管用,让他多活了一个礼拜,オ算觉得没有愧对他。为了这,她又想到活着的,花八万块搞了一个食堂,中午包伙,一人两个菜。她还给退休了的每人订了半斤奶。邢佩芸赚到了一点钱,就仿佛拼命要用这钱向老师们赎回什么来。她是替谁去赎呢? When Xing Peiyun, principal of Sanlihe Primary School, was in charge of the school in 1977, she almost fell into the situation of Wu Xun (a beggar). She went around seeking help, and was lucky enough to get the approval capital from the Academy of Sciences and set up a factory with an annual income of 150000 yuan. When teachers received a large amount of money for the first time, they all led their children to the department store. Seeing this, she almost cried. There was an old teacher who had cancer. His life could only be sustained by injecting a foreign imported medicine, but it cost over a hundred yuan per dose, which was a large sum of money in the past. Principal Xing asked the doctors to treat him as much as possible, making him live for an extra week. Only by doing this could she not be ashamed. For this, she thought of the living ones. Therefore, she spent 80000 yuan to build a dining room, which provided two free dishes to teachers at noon. She also ordered half a catty of milk for each retired person. Once she earned some money, she tried desperately to compensate teachers. Who was she going to redeem for?

五年级语文课里,讲到宜兴ー处名胜,又触痛了邢佩芸那根筋:老师整天给学生讲名山大川,自己却ー辈子没见过,没见过大海,没见过地平线上升起的太阳。于是,年年暑假里她领着老师们去青岛、承德、北戴河。她还跟校办エ厂厂长王英伟商量:要让老师们坐一回飞机。 In a Chinese class in the fifth grade, when it came to the place of interest in Yixing, it hurt Xing Peiyun. Teachers told their students about famous mountains and great rivers, but they had never seen the sea, or the sun rising on the horizon. Therefore, Xing led teachers to Qingdao, Chengde and Beidaihe every summer vacation. She also discussed with Wang Yingwei, the director of the school-run factory, hoping that the teachers could take a plane.

末了,她激动地向我们喊道: Finally, she excitedly declaimed,

“‘四化’需要教师,教师需要什么?如果我们不仅在口头上高喊教师光荣,而且在对教师队伍的思想业务素质实行高要求的同时,在生活福利上也能给予切实保证,高工资、高报酬,那谁还能瞧不起这一行!” ＂‘The Four modernizations’need teachers, but what do teachers need? We should not only speak highly of teachers’ glory, but also put high requirements on the ideological and professional quality of teachers. At the same time, we should provide them practical guarantees in terms of living benefits with high wages and high remuneration. By doing so, no one can look down on this career! "

丰台。北京12中。五层实验大楼。 It was in the five-story lab building of Beijing No.12 Middle School in Fengtai.

门厅正中是ー个微型喷水池。几盆黄洋和天冬草,伴着一池澄澈的清水。满壁淡黄色的暖调子,纤尘不染,恬静安谧。头三层全部为物理、化学和生物教学配置的多种实验室、仪器室、准备室、供应室和标本室。四层里是外语视听室、语音室和一个演播控制室。五楼里是美术馆、电脑馆、阅览室和图书资料库,拥有五百种杂志和ー百张座位。顶楼平台还有一座天文馆…… In the middle of the hall was a miniature fountain. There were a few pots of buxus sinica and asparagus cochinchinensis, accompanied by a pool of clear water. The walls were filled with warm tones of light yellow, spotless and peaceful. The first three floors were all equipped with a variety of laboratories, instrument rooms, preparation rooms, supply rooms and specimen rooms for physics, chemistry and biology teaching. On the fourth floor, there was a foreign language audio-visual room, a language lab and a broadcast control room. On the fifth floor, there was the gallery, the computer library, the reading room and the library, with 500 magazines and 100 seats. There was also a planetarium on the top floor platform.

80年代了,一座五层楼有何稀罕?可也许我们看熟了中学那种破桌旧椅、四壁斑驳的景况,竟觉得这楼犹如宫殿一般辉煌。能考上这所中学的孩子,多有福气!如今它的高考升学率虽也是全市数得着的,但谁能相信它1978年以前还是一所非重点里中等偏下的“收底儿”中学? In the 1980s, what was rare about a five-story building? Perhaps we had been used to the broken tables, old chairs and the mottled walls of the middle school. Therefore, when seeing this, we had a feeling that it was as brilliant as a palace. How lucky the children were to be admitted to this middle school! Nowadays, its college entrance examination enrollment rate was among the highest in the city. Who could believe that it was among the "bottom" of non-key middle schools before 1978?

它的发迹,最初也是靠同教育风马牛不相及的塑料制品和参茸药材加工,经历了任何一所校办エ厂都走过的产、供、销的磨难历程,最后竟有每年纯利百万元以上的赚头,像人参鹿茸似的源源灌进往昔干瘪羸弱的肌体,没几年便丰腴红润、容光焕发了。再加上社会的资助,它几乎一年盖一座楼,五层学生宿舍楼、三层生活服务楼、实验楼,又为教师买了几十套单元宿舍,每年还拿得出千儿八百奖学金,颇有点财大气粗哩。 Its success was initially achieved through the processing of plastic products and ginseng antler medicinal materials, which had nothing to do with education. To be successful, it had gone through the hardships of production, supply, and sales that any school-run factory had gone through. Finally, it earned an annual net profit of over a million yuan, which was like ginseng and deer antler continuously infusing into the once dry and weak body-the school. Within a few years, it became plump, rosy, and radiant. Coupled with social assistance, it built almost one building a year. So far, a five-story student dormitory, a three-story life service building, and an experimental building were established. It also bought dozens of unit dormitories for teachers, and even provided students a thousand or eight hundred scholarships every year, which was very generous.

“我还要盖个体育馆呢,ー层是游泳池,二层是健身房,投资三百五十万元。”管行政的副校长赵新华对我们透露说,“这些年我昏天黑地地跑产供销,一个个钢働儿往里挣;又抓基建、跑材料,同施工队磨嘴皮子,ー个个钢働儿往回抠,仗着还年轻,一天只睡几个小时。不过,我是师范出身,大学里学中文的。如今干的全是同教书不沾边儿的营生。再过若干年,如果教育走上正轨了,我大概就得失业啦。” ＂We are going to build a gym, with a swimming pool on the first floor and a gym on the second floor. The investment will reach 3.5 million yuan.＂Zhao Xinhua, the vice president for administration, revealed to us,＂Over the years, I have devoted myself to production, supply, and sales, and earned money bit by bit. I also focus on infrastructure and materials. Sometimes, to save money, I kept bargaining with construction teams. Considering that I am still young, I only sleep a few hours a day. However, I used to major in Chinese at a normal school. What I am now engage in is unrelated to education. In a few years, if education is on the right track, I'll probably lose my job. ＂

他忽然有点黯然神伤。 All of a sudden, he felt a little dejected.

我们却还沉浸在他的事业的耀眼光彩中,仿佛看到了教育自救的一缕微明的希望之光…… While we were still immersed in the dazzling brilliance of his career, as if seeing a glimmer of hope for educational self-rescue.

然而,这希望之光并不能普照天下,而且对ー些学校来说,也许只不过是海市蜃楼罢了。 However, this light of hope couldn’t shine throughout the world. For some schools, it might just be a mirage.

有关教育领导部门郑重向我们阐明:校办工厂虽然解决问题,但终非长策。学校的社会职能毕竟不能同时兼顾教育和生产两项,社会也不能要求它这样做。ー手抓分,一手抓钱是出于无奈,它怎能不影响教学?况且,并不是所有中小学都能抓得来钱的。成功的只是少数。现在已经有政策规定,不允许占用教学设施办其他事情了。 The relevant education leading departments solemnly made it clear to us that although the school-run factory could solve problem, it was not a long-term policy. After all, schools couldn’t simultaneously balance the social functions of education and production, and society couldn’t require it to do so. It was out of frustration that schools had to simultaneously improve students’ performance and earn money. In this case, how could teaching not be affected? Not all primary and secondary schools could earn money. Only a few had succeeded. Besides, there were now policy regulations that prohibited the occupation of teaching facilities for other purposes.

这也很有道理。It also made sense.

然而,母鸡的饲料问题究竟何以解决? However, how to deal with the feedstuff issue of hens?

尾声报复将在何时?

When Would Be the End of Revenge?

1957年,苏联第一颗人造卫星上天,美国朝野震惊,由此引发了一场教育大改革。国会组织的以哈佛大学校长康南特为首的委员会在对美国教育质量进行调查后发现,美国中学生的数理化和外语水平低于苏联。委员会提出的报告说:如果掉以轻心,美国跟苏联军备竞赛的成败,将不取决于洲际导弹的多少,而取决于中小学教师和实验室的多少。第二年,美国国会即通过了一项国防教育法案,用联邦政府拨款的形式促进教育改革。 In 1957, when the first artificial satellite of the Soviet Union was launched into the sky, American government and the public were shocked, which triggered a great educational reform. After investigating the quality of American education, a congressional committee headed by Connant, president of Harvard University, found that the math, chemistry and foreign language proficiency of American middle school students were lower than those of the Soviet Union. The report submitted by the committee said: if taken lightly, the success or failure of the arms race between the United States and the Soviet Union would not depend on the number of intercontinental missiles, but on the number of primary and secondary school teachers and laboratories. The following year, the United States Congress passed a national defense education bill to promote education reform in the form of federal funding.

1962年的日本文部省发表的教育白皮书声称:1905年到1960年间,日本用于人的资源开发投资,比物的开发投资多十六倍。这使得他们在战后只用了大约六十亿美元引进上万种新的技术,经过消化吸收,很快便超过了美国和西欧。然而在国内,科学技术的发展也导致工业部门同教育争夺人才,教师出现“外流”。于是在1979年,日本国会第27届会议通过了著名的《确保人オ法》,以法律形式确定: 中小学教师的工资待遇要高于一般国家公务人员。 In 1962, the Japanese Ministry of Education published an education white paper stating that between 1905 and 1960, Japan invested sixteen times more in human resource development than in material development. This allowed them to introduce tens of thousands of new technologies with only about six billion US dollars after the war. After digestion and absorption, they soon surpassed the United States and Western Europe. However, at home, the development of science and technology had also led to talent competition between industry and education, resulting in a "outflow" of teachers. Therefore, in 1979, the 27th session of the Japanese parliament passed the famous Law to Ensure Talents, which established in legal form that the salaries and benefits of primary and secondary school teachers shall be higher than those of general public servants.

世界的此强彼弱,武力的消长,贸易的角逐,科学技术的较量,最终都归结为ー个教育的竞争——这是历史的结论。 The strength of the world, the rise and fall of force, the competition in trade, and in science and technology were all ultimately attributed to the competition in education, which was the conclusion of history.

近二百年来,富国越富,穷国越穷。而在穷国,以珍贵的有限财カ,无论是用于发展エ业,还是用于教育;是用在培养少数英才人物上,还是用在扫盲和普通教育上,在今天都是ー个难以抉择的问题。 In the past 200 years, the rich countries had become richer and the poor countries had become poorer. In poor countries, with precious limited resources, it was still difficult to tell if money should be spent on industry or education; on a small number of talented people or in literacy and general education.

中国还背着ー个比任何国家都要沉重的包袱:人口压カ。它可能将导致文盲大军波及几代人。就在今天,全国每四个人中就有一个文盲或半文盲,而美国每四个人就有一个大学毕业生。 China was also carrying a burden heavier than any other country: population pressure. It could lead to an army of illiterate people spreading across generations. Today, one in four people in China was illiterate or semi-illiterate, while in the United States, there was one college graduate in four people.

这且不论,新的技术革命浪潮还正在无情地把一大批人重新变成文盲或半文盲。 Not to mention that the new wave of technological revolution was relentlessly turning a large number of people back into illiterate or semi-illiterate.

今天,当我们还必须同历史遗留给我们的愚昧做斗争的时候,教育在全世界的发展趋势,已经走向在历史上第一次为ー个尚未存在的社会培养新人了。 Today, while we must fight against the ignorance left by history, the development trend of education in the world had moved towards training new people for a society that had not yet existed for the first time in history.

历史仿佛遗忘了我们。 History seemed to have forgotten us.

可这个星球无法遗忘我们。 But this planet couldn't forget us.

“那些正在走向知识和力量的顶峰的国家,怎能不对这个行星上还有愚昧的ー大片区域感到担心,甚至苦恼呢?” ＂How can those countries that are moving towards the pinnacle of knowledge and power not worry about the vast expanse of ignorance on the planet?＂

在地球这艘被悲观的西方人称为“拥挤、危险的宇航船”上,再过几十年、几百年,我们民族将是一个怎样的境遇呢? What would be the situation for our nation in the next few decades or hundreds of years on earth, which the pessimistic westerners called a "crowded and dangerous spaceship"?

无论我们的忧虑还是人家的忧虑都在折磨整个人类。 Our worries and others’ worries were afflicting the whole human race.

我们曾经是优秀的,因为我们曾经很神圣。 We used to be excellent, because we used to be holy.

呵,古老的神圣,你还能再传递我们ー程吗? Oh, ancient holiness, could you still travel with us again?

（原载《天津文学》1987年第9期） (Originally published in Tianjin Literature, 1987, Issue 9)

原野在呼唤

The Fields Were Calling

王兆军 Wang Zhaojun

历史和现实撞击出电火,原野上滚过这样的雷声: “请放下古城前那高高的吊桥……” History and reality collided to create an electric fire, and the field rolled with thunder like this: ＂Please put down the high suspension bridge in front of the ancient city…＂

历史,曾经显示过这样的画面—— In history, there was a picture like this-

萧瑟秋风里,荒野古道上,起义军的马蹄正扬起漫天的灰尘。可以看得见,在那沙风土雾中,每一面大旗上都写着“分田地,均贫富”!揭竿而起的农民为了得到土地,正纵横沙场,逐鹿中原,多少将士,在凄迷冷寂的荒原上留下了血肉模糊的尸体和征袍!天阴雨湿,似有无数的幽灵仍然不肯离去,腥风中低吟着热恋土地的挽歌…… In the bleak autumn wind and on the ancient wilderness road, the insurgents' horseshoes were raising dust all over the sky. It could be seen that every flag standing in the sand, wind, soil and fog said, ＂Divide the land, and be equal! ＂Those farmers who rose up for land were fighting valiantly, many of whom left bloody corpses and robes on the desolate fields! It was cloudy and rainy, which seemed that countless ghosts still refused to leave, and were crooning an elegy of passionate love for the land in the fishy wind.

近代。中国乡村,黑夜如磐。 In modern times, the night in rural China was quiet and dark.

一位偿还不起高利贷的农民,在要么坐牢、卖女,要么变卖那仅有的ー小片田地的严酷事实面前,在地契上痛苦地留下殷红的指印。当天,也许是第二天拂晓, 他便领着全家上路了。那片拴着心的小小的土地,昨天还是属于他的,而今天…… 他跪倒在它的上面,匍匐身躯,拨开厚厚的积雪,一双青筋暴突的大手拼命地扒呀, 扒呀,终于扒出ー块泥土。他把这泥土揣进怀里。最后,望了一眼那片依依难舍的土地,含着满目泪水,踏上了背井离乡的风雪小道……

Faced with the harsh facts of either being imprisoned, selling his daughter, or selling off that small piece of land, a farmer who couldn't afford to repay a high interest loan left a painful red fingerprint on the land deed. On the same day, perhaps at dawn the next day, he led the family on the road. That small land which tied his heart still belonged to him yesterday, but today…He knelt down on top of it, crawled his body and cleared the thick snow. His large hands with bulging veins were desperately scraping, and finally scraping out a piece of soil. He carried it into his arms. Finally, he reluctantly glanced at the land, with tears in his eyes, and stepped onto a windy and snowy path away from home…

这,就是中国人对于土地的深挚的感情;这,就是我们祖祖辈辈将所有的汗水、所有的智慧、所有的希望,都倾注其中的那片热土,那片原野啊！只有在生命和土地之间择其ー时,他们才可能舍弃后者;有的,甚至宁肯以身殉地！于是,长久的炽热的情感形成了牢不可破的传统——土地被神化了。五行,土为中;诸侯三宝,地为上。在茫茫中国,几乎每一个村庄都有社庙,即土地庙。人们用自己的感情塑造了这么ー个神灵,让它统治着乡村的一切。敬畏、膜拜,祭以牺牲,祀以香火,不敢有些微的逆忤。立春（秋）以后的第五个戊日,无论是耕耘之前的祈祷还是收获之后的庆贺, 都在那个小小的土地庙前进行。ー碗碗绿豆黄豆,ー盘盘小麦蜀黍,ー盅盅新米佳酿,陈年的柿饼和新摘的枣子,附以面条、鸡蛋,纸钱与香烛,全献给社神了。人们希望在那欢乐的氤氤中,让社神用绳索将他们牢牢地拴在土地上,永远也不离开。 This was the deep affection of Chinese people towards land. This was the land we loved where all our sweat, wisdom, and hope had been poured into for generations! It was only when they chose between life and land that they might abandon the latter. Some even preferred to sacrifice themselves to it! Therefore, the long passionate emotions formed an unbreakable tradition - the land was deified. In the five elements, earth is the most important. Among the three treasures of the princes, land was crucial. In China, almost every village had a temple, that was, the earth temple. People had shaped such a deity with their own emotions, allowing it to rule everything in the countryside. Reverence, worships, sacrifice and incense were devotedly given to it, without slight disobedience. When it came to the fifth day after the beginning of spring (autumn), both prayers before ploughing and celebrations after harvest were held in front of it. Bowls of green beans and soybeans, plates of wheat and corn, cups of new rice wine, aged dried persimmons and freshly picked dates, accompanied by noodles, eggs, paper money and incense, were all dedicated to the kitchen god. By doing so, people hoped that in the midst of joy, the kitchen god could firmly tie them to the land with ropes, and never let them leave.

今天,这是在什么地方? Today, where was it?

夕阳西下,火红的晚霞正在变成深紫色。出脱了货物的汉子们点完了一沓沓钞票,喜上眉梢。他们弄来烧酒和啤酒、红肠、烧鸡、花生米,便在农贸市场的台面上坐了,兴高采烈地品赏起城市的黄昏来,没有一点忧郁和哀愁,背井离乡似乎成为ー种享受。他们好像已经成为这里的主人了! As the sun set, the fiery red sunset was turning deep purple. The men who had sold out goods counted piles of money and were overjoyed. They got liquor, beer, sausage, roast chicken, and peanuts, and sat on the counter of the farmer's market, enjoying the evening of the city happily, without any melancholy or sorrow. It seemed that being away from home was a kind of enjoyment for them. They had already been the masters here!

看,经过训练的几百名乡村姑娘,从大客车上下来了。大的20来岁,小的只有十六七岁。她们衣着鲜艳,不无时髦。她们是来大城市当保姆的。眼前,ー幢幢大楼,ー排排树木,车水马龙的大街和琳琅满目的商场,正吸引着她们好奇的目光。乡村狭小而又广漠的世界,已经容不下她们的心和她们的憧憬。她们从原野上走出来,高高兴兴地走出来,那么心甘,那么欢畅……奇怪吗?奇怪!即使是对于社会变化比较淡漠的人也会有疑问:农民对于土地的感情哪里去了?他们为什么舍得离开那温暖的赖以生存的家园,离开那金黄的稻田和绿油油的菜畦?这种变化是怎样发生的,并将对中国社会有哪些启示和影响?在回答我的问题时,请不要囿于某些落套的文章、夸张的报道和枯涩的理论吧,在新的变化面前,朋友,你一定要丢弃往昔的经验,因为潮流已经涌到眼前,几乎每ー个人都分明地感觉到了它那严肃的冲击。历史与现实的电火撞击着,在大地上滚过阵阵惊雷。原野在如此殷勤地呼唤我们:“放下古城门前那高高的吊桥,认识我们这里的流水、芳草,这里的阳光大道!” Look, hundreds of trained country girls were getting off the bus. Among them, the elder ones were in their twenties, while the younger ones were only sixteen or seventeen years old. With bright fashionable clothes, they came to big cities to work as nannies. Their eyes were caught by buildings, trees, busy streets and dazzling shopping malls in front of them. The narrow and vast world of rural areas no longer allowed for their hearts and aspirations. They came out of the field happily…Was it strange? Exactly! Even those who were relatively indifferent to social changes might have the question: Where had the farmer's affection for the land gone? Why were they willing to leave the warm home they relied on for survival, the golden rice fields and the green vegetable beds? How did this change happen, and what enlightenment and influence would it have on Chinese society? When answering my question, please do not be limited to certain outdated articles, exaggerated reports, or dull theories. In the face of new changes, my friend, you must discard past experiences, because the trend had already surged in front of you, and almost everyone clearly felt its serious impact. History and reality collided to create an electric fire, and the field rolled with thunder. The fields were calling us so earnestly: " Please put down the high suspension bridge in front of the ancient city, and learn something about the flowing water and fragrant grass here, the sunny avenue here! "

人们吃饱了,但并不满足。列车震破了桃源旧梦。

他们来不及拍打裤脚上的尘土,便从原野上出发,

走向另ー个世界 People were full, but not satisfied. The train shattered the old dream of "the Peach Garden". They didn't have time to pat the dust on their pants, and set out from the fields. Moving towards another world

应着那旷野的呼唤,我来到了河南。 In response to the call of the fields, I came to Henan.

这是一片多么古老、多么辽阔、多么肥沃的土地啊！厚厚的黄土,埋藏着一部中华民族的历史;滔滔的黄河,诉说着这历史的源远流长。千百万年过去了,但历史的字典里依然写着“以农为本” “缺衣少食”这样荒唐的成语,在我们这片稼穡为上的土地上,却依然没有消除愚昧和饥饿,就像龙门的石佛依然板着那千古不变的似笑非笑的面孔ー样。 What an ancient, vast, and fertile land it was! Beneath the thick loess lay the history of the Chinese nation. The surging Yellow River told the story of its long history. Millions of years had passed, but the dictionary of history still contained absurd idioms such as "agriculture as the foundation" and "lack of clothing and food". In our land of farming, ignorance and hunger had not been eradicated, just like the stone Buddha in Longmen still held the same flickering smile that had remained unchanged for generations.

直到今天,党的十一届三中全会以后,安徽和四川的暖风吹到了中州,河南才开始苏醒。可是责任制刚刚实行,便有人担心分田会重受二遍苦。于是,黄河、伊洛河在东张西望中度过了 1979年。然而,一年以后的事实证明,河南人民不仅没有重受二茬罪,反而迅速解决了吃饭问题。对于一个人口数量占全国第二位的省份来说,一年解决了上千年没有解决的问题,这难道不是一个奇迹吗? Until today, after the Third Plenary Session of the Eleventh Central Committee of the Communist Party of China, the warm winds of Anhui and Sichuan reached Zhongzhou, and Henan has begun to wake up. However, as soon as the responsibility system was implemented, some people worried that they would suffer again as a result of land division. In 1979, people living near the Yellow River and Yiluo river were unease. A year later, the fact was that Henan people didn’t suffer again, but quickly solved food problem. Wasn't it a miracle that a province with the country's second largest population had solved a problem that had not been solved for thousands of years in one year?

从南阳、洛阳、濮阳,到虞城、项城、商城,到处都可以看到:黄土古道上是售棉卖粮的大车小车,庄稼人面上的菜色正在消逝,荒原获得了绿色的生命,每一寸田园都找到了知冷知热的爹娘,红薯正在变为饲料,白瓷碗里盛上了热气腾腾的面条。 From Nanyang, Luoyang and Puyang to Yucheng, Xiangcheng and Shangcheng County, we could see the following scenes. On the ancient loess road were carts and carts selling cotton and grain. Farmers no longer wore bluish yellow faces because of hunger. The fields had gained green life, and every inch of the countryside had been carefully taken care of. Sweet potatoes were turning into feed, and white porcelain bowls were filled with steaming noodles.

无数的报道早已将这些事实变为匆匆层叠更替的历史,而我所要追寻的是:解决了温饱问题的人们将怎样开拓新的生活。他们吸着古老的烟袋蹲在墙根晒太阳了吗?他们守着古训“不知有汉、何论魏晋”了吗?我担心,因为我们这个民族是容易满足的。 Countless reports had turned these facts into a history of hasty succession. What I wanted to pursue was how people who had solved the problems of food and clothing would open up a new life. Did they sit by the wall in the sun, smoking old pipes? Did they adhere to the ancient saying ＂They had not even heard of the Han Dynasty (two centuries before to two centuries after Christ), not to speak of the Wei (third century A.D.) and the Chin (third and fourth centuries)＂? I was worried in that our nation was easily satisfied.

陇海线上东来西去的列车,昼夜不息地从中原驰过。多少年来,人们只知道那里有黑色的铁轨,看见过列车喷出的团团白气,至于铁道和他们的生活有什么关系,却很少想过,他们坚信自己永远是靠土地生活的,土地能提供他们所需要的一切。 Trains from east to west on the Longhai line passed through the Central Plains day and night. For many years, people only knew that there were black railway tracks and saw the white gas emitted by trains. As for the relationship between railways and their lives, they rarely thought about it. They firmly believed that they would always live on the land, which could provide everything they need.

但是,今天的列车却唤醒了这里的村庄,这里的阡陌和这里的人们。 However, today's train had awakened the villages, the paths and the people here.

祭城乡白庄村的干部们坐在田垄上,心事重重地望着风驰电掣的列车从他们的土地上经过。高亢的汽笛声震不开他们紧锁的眉心,喷吐的白雾在他们心头立刻变为可怕的黑云。铁路复线工程占去了他们的100多亩好地,这对于ー个只有400多亩土地的小村庄,该是多么大的损失啊!原先每人占地6分4厘,现在倒过来成为4分6厘了。他们掰着指头算着:即使亩产2000斤粮食（这是很不容易的）,每人也占不到1000斤。按产值计,不过百把块钱,扣除生产成本,只剩几十块钱了。这就是说:辛辛苦苦在田里折腾一年,弄得好也只不过是吃饱肚皮而已。 The cadres of Baizhuang village, Jicheng town，sat on the ridges of the fields, watching with great concern as the speeding train passes through their land. The high-pitched whistle could not shake their furrowed brows, and the white gas spewed out immediately turning into a terrifying black cloud in their hearts. The double-track railway project had taken up more than 100 mu of good land, which was a great loss to a small village with only 400 mu of land. Originally, each person occupied an area 0.64 mu, but now it had been reduced to 0.46 mu. They counted with their fingers. Even if they could produce 2000 kilograms of grain per mu (which was not an easy thing), each person would still account for less than 1000 kilograms. According to the output value, it would generate only a hundred dollars. After deducting the production cost, there were only dozens of yuan left. That was to say, if you worked hard in the fields for a year, you could only get rid of hunger.

列车吞去了他们的土地,天地变得如此狭小,像飞鸟发现自己在ー个笼子里一样,他们感到了某种恐慌。望着列车,他们忽然在冥思苦索中微妙地感到,这个社会在发生变化,ー股强大的潮流正像列车这样冲击到他们的村边来了。啊,铁道为什么要改为复线?运东西,越来越多的东西,煤、机器、生猪、水泥、蔬菜……可是列车上有我们的东西吗?没有,既没有卖出的,也没有买进的。他们感到自己被潮流抛弃得很远很远。为什么咱就不能加入这个潮流呢?我们也有手,难道不能生产出什么东西,加入那个潮流并且从中得到新的利益,从而不再像祖辈先人那样困守一隅地生活吗?列车没有白占去土地,它给乡村的人们以新的启示,在新的奥秘被发现之后,他们欣喜得不能自已。 With the train swallowing up their land, their world became so small that they felt some kind of panic like birds finding themselves in a cage. Looking at the train, they suddenly felt subtly that the society was undergoing changes, and a powerful trend was impacting their village like the train. Ah, why did the railway change to a double track? It transported more and more things, such as coal, machinery, pigs, cement, vegetables…Was there anything for us on the train? No. Neither did we sell or buy anything. They had a feeling that they had been abandoned by the trend far away. Why couldn't we just join the trend? We also had hands. Couldn't we produce something to join the trend and get new benefits? By doing so, could we no longer live in a corner like our ancestors? The train did not occupy the land in vain, it gave new revelations to the people in the countryside. After the new mysteries were discovered, they were overjoyed.

“对,不能老憋在这几分地上!”支部书记白西川说,“咱们也得想办法挣钱。” Bai Xichuan, secretary of the branch, said＂Right! We cannot always be confined to the land! We have to find a way to make money!＂

副书记白玉河、白明顺也一股劲地说:“得另找门道,不然,这日子越过越涩。” Deputy secretaries Bai Yuhe and Bai Mingshun also said vigorously: "We have to find a way. Otherwise, our life will become more and more difficult."

对于几千年来以土地为生的中国农民来说,这种离开土地寻找更宽阔的道路, 积极加入现代社会的潮流的要求,不能不说是自然而又伟大的觉醒。

For Chinese farmers who had lived on the land for thousands of years, this kind of request to leave the land to find a broader road and actively join the trend of modern society was a natural and great awakening.

开始,他们失败了,他们光想到赚钱,先加工生产履带轴销,但是卖不了多少, 后来搞电焊气焊,活也不多。有人说做糕点利大,他们就改做月饼、糖块,还种过银耳、蘑菇。忙活了一年,算ー算,没赚到什么钱。 At first, they failed. To make money, they processed and produced track shaft pins, and didn’t sell well. Later, they engaged in electric welding and gas welding, but the business was not good. It was said that it was profitable to make cakes. Therefore, they began to make moon cakes and sugar cubes, and grow tremella and mushrooms. With a year’s hard work, they didn’t earn much.

失败提供了教训。白西川和干部、社员们意识到做生意赚钱和种地不是一回事,商业有商业的门道,要看清这个行当,不能老用农民的眼光。社员们提醒他,这些年来,唯有豆腐坊生意旺盛,本地大豆多,豆腐也销得快,豆渣可以扩大饲养业, 饲养业可以提供更多的肥料,粮食产量也能上去。 Failure offered them lessons. Bai Xichuan and his cadres and members realized that there were differences between making money from business and farming. To understand the rules of business, they should give up the thinking of farmers. The members reminded them that in recent years, only tofu shops had been doing brisk business. There were many local soybeans, and tofu sold fast. What’s more, soybean residue could expand the breeding industry, which could provide more fertilizer and increase grain production.

他们决定发展豆制品生产,特别是向干菜方面努力,多做腐竹。 They decided to produce bean products, especially dried vegetables and dried beancurd sticks

开始做腐竹,完全是土办法。22口小铁锅,豆浆锅坐在开水锅里,温度达不到,做出的腐竹黑乎乎的,价格上不去。白西川感到这样不行,得想办法改进,首先要向别人学习。 When they first started making dried beancurd sticks, the method they used was completely local. With 22 small iron pots, they put soybean milk pots inside the boiling water pots. However, the temperature was too low, and the dried beancurd sticks were dark, making the price low. Bai Xichuan believed that they must find ways to improve and learn from others.

白西川带着几个人,到工艺先进的桂林腐竹厂学习。好事多磨,到了那里,好话说了几夢筐,人家就是不让看。白西川急得吃不下饭,睡不好觉。美丽的山水对他们一行没有半点吸引力,白西川恨不得白给人家当两个月短工,只要让他学习。人家说这是卫生条例的原因,白西川恨不得拿酒精给全身消消毒,换ー身新煮烫的衣服,只要叫参观ー下就行。他们在冷遇中渐渐感觉到ー种商业社会的气味。这种竞争的气息强烈地刺激着白西川那传统农民的朴实憨厚的心。社会已经变化得这么快了,难怪乡村总是那么落后。他决心要赶上这个潮流,加入这个潮流,并且一定要走到前面去。他们求助于党组织和当地政府,好说歹说,终于获得了“粗看一遍”的允诺。那真是粗看一遍啊,按人家指定的路线走,关键地方不让看,问ー些技术上的问题,人家又不愿解答。他们贪婪地看着。可惜时间给得太少,只粗略地记得锅炉、磨汁、造浆、蒸盘和烘房等几处主要设施和大概的工作情形。 Therefore, Bai Xichuan led several people to study in the advanced factory of dried beancurd sticks in Guilin. Good things were hard to come by. They said many good words, but were not allowed to watch the production process. Bai Xichuan was too anxious to eat and sleep well. For them, the beautiful scenery had lost its appeal. As long as he was allowed to study, Bai Xichuan was willing to work as a short-term laborer for two months for free. It was said that visitors were not allowed because of the health regulations. Hearing this, Bai Xichun was willing to disinfect his whole body with alcohol, and change into new boiled clothes in order to go for a visit. They gradually felt the smell of a commercial society in the cold reception. The smell of this competition strongly stimulated the simple and honest heart of the traditional farmers in Bai Xichuan. Society had changed so quickly, no wonder the countryside was always so backward. He was determined to catch up with this trend, join it, and definitely go ahead. They turned to the party organization and local government for help, and finally received a promise to "take a rough look". That was really a rough look. According to the route designated by others, they were not allowed to see the key places. When they asked them some technical questions, others were not willing to answer. They watched greedily. Unfortunately, time was too limited. They only had a rough memory of some major facilities, such as the boiler, grinding juice, pulping, steaming plate and drying room, and their general working conditions.

回到家,凭几个人的印象,便开始建造腐竹厂。买设备、建厂房,依靠本村人的努力,只用了两个月时间,腐竹厂就建成了。4月10日试验,居然一次成功。当第ー批腐竹做出来,白西川感慨万千。他为这种快速的成功而高兴。时代的压逼得人们变得勇敢而又精明。他想起在桂林受到的冷遇,想到全村人付出的艰苦的劳动,感到追赶这个时代是多么不容易啊! According to their memory, they went back and began to build a factory of dried bean curd sticks. With the efforts of the village people, it took only two months to buy equipment and build the factory. On April 10th, their test was successful at one time. When the first batch of dried bean curd sticks was made, Bai Xichuan was filled with emotions. He rejoiced at the rapid success. It was the pressure of the times that had forced people to be brave and shrewd. When he thought of the cold reception in Guilin and the hard work of the whole village, he felt how difficult it was to catch up with this era.

这个不愁原料、不愁生产、销路也好的腐竹厂建成以后,很快使白庄的劳动结构发生了巨大变化。大量的豆渣,促使他们办ー个相当规模的养殖场。养殖场的粪肥要运到田里,必须扩大机械队伍。牛奶和生猪要有专人销售。腐竹厂连续生产,各种工序需要许多劳力参加。豆腐坊和调料厂也在扩大。新生活要求新的住房,必须扩大建筑队伍……这些劳动,占去了全村94. 4%的劳力,只有5. 6%的劳力从事农业劳动了。这就逼得他们拿出最懂农业技术的人去承包土地,并且大力加快农业机械化进度。那种以为责任制以后无法使用机械的担忧已经被事实击败。白庄的商品经济发展,已经使绝大多数人离开了土地,变为工人了。1983年, 他们的日工值已经达到4元,而这个村的社员用水、用电、住房、蔬菜、教育和医疗也全由大队包下来了。 After the completion of this factory of dried bean curd sticks, which did not worry about raw materials, production and sales, great changes had taken place in the labor structure of Bai Zhuang. A large amount of soybean residue had prompted them to establish a considerable scale aquaculture farm. To transport manure from breeding farms to the fields, it was necessary to expand the mechanical team. Milk and live pigs should be sold by specially-assigned person. The continuous production of dried bean curd sticks factory required a lot of labor to participate in various processes. Tofu workshops and seasoning factories were also expanding. The new life required new housing, and the construction team must be expanded ... These labors accounted for 94. 4% of the labor force in the village, and only 5. 6% of the labor force was engaged in agricultural labor. This forced them to contract the land to the people with the best agricultural skills and to accelerate the mechanization of agriculture. The fear that accountability would make machinery impossible had been defeated by fact. The development of commodity economy in Bai Zhuang had made the vast majority of people leave the land and become workers. In 1983, their daily labor value had reached 4 yuan, and the village members 'water, electricity, housing, vegetables, education and medical care were all contracted by the brigade.

农民学会许多原先不懂的东西。无论工副业还是农业,白庄都实行了严格的承包责任制。合同就是法律,谁违背合同就按章处罚,处罚的办法之一是不让劳动这是最重的惩罚。 Farmers learnt many things they didn't originally understand. Whether in industry or agriculture, Baizhuang had implemented strict contract responsibility systems. The contract was the law. Anyone who violated it would be punished according to the regulations. One of the punishments was not to allow labor, which was the heaviest punishment.

白西川说:“按以前的老办法不行了,我们找到了一个新办法,叫作不打自叫唤。” Bai Xichuan said, ＂The old method we used to use is no longer feasible. We have found a new method called 'consciously work hard'＂.

当欲望自然地被尊重时,历史前进了。

人们从土地上走出来了,并迅速学会了原来不懂的东西 When desire was naturally respected, history made a progress. People came out of the land and quickly learned what they did not understand.

这是ー个多么炎热的夏天,从虎牢关到邙岭这片丘陵地已经好多天没下雨了。 What a hot summer it was. It hadn't rained for many days from Hulao Pass to Mangling.

巩义贺尧大队支部书记牛新安从来没有这样焦躁不安。他在为大队综合厂的问题发愁。农业包下去,生机勃勃,不用操多少心了。可是这个小厂却越办越赖, 几乎到了不可收拾的地步。支部决定搞承包投标,可是意见分歧很大,有人投标很高,有人投标较低,有人反对投标。在纷杂的争论中,他注意到一位青年人的意见, 这个人叫李自忠。他尖锐地指出那些高标的盲目性,并且批评了某些人妄图用拼设备的办法获取利润,塞满腰包,然后扔掉工厂的做法。青年人的敏锐和忠诚强烈地震动了牛新安。无疑,李自忠是为全村利益长远打算的。 Niu Xinan, the branch secretary of Gongyi Heyao brigade, had never been so restless. What he was worried about was the issue of the comprehensive factory of the brigade. The contracted agriculture was full of vitality, and there was no need to worry much. However, this small factory had become increasingly dependent and almost out of control. The branch decided to make a contract bidding, but the opinions were very different. Some bid high, some bid low, and some even opposed the bidding. In distracting debate, he noticed the opinions of a young man. The man was Li Zizhong. He sharply pointed out the blindness of those high bids and criticized some people who tried to make profits by assembling equipment, filling their pockets, and then throwing away the factory. Niu Xinan was shocked by the young man's sensitivity and loyalty. Undoubtedly, Li Zizhong was planning for the long-term interests of the entire village.

但是,这个青年所要求的条件是多么难以应允啊!他要厂长责任制,要招聘工人和解雇工人的权力,要升降工人工资的权カ,要奖惩的权力,要增添和更换设备的权力,要购销权力……一句话,这个厂交给他,他就要全部说了算。 However, how difficult it was to agree to his requests! He wanted to implement the factory director responsibility system. He also wanted the power to recruit or fire workers, to raise or lower wages, to reward or punish, to add or replace equipment, to purchase or sell goods…In a word, the factory should be handed over to him, and he should have the final say.

当过教师、当过队长、当过县接待室的接待员、当过酒厂厂长的李自忠,无疑是ー个能干的有头脑的人物。但是,不让大队插手,他自己独揽大权,这能行吗?能给他这种“便宜行事”的杏黄旗吗? Li Zizhong, who had been a teacher, a captain, a receptionist in the county reception room, and a factory director of the winery, was undoubtedly a capable and intelligent person. However, would it be possible for him to take control of the power without the intervention of the brigade? Could he be given the right of "deciding on appropriate measures or methods by himself"?

牛新安陷入难以排遣的烦闷之中。他近来出去看了一些地方,深深感到自己这一代人快要落伍了。ー没文化,什么都弄不懂;ニ是农业搞惯了,思想牢牢拴在土地上,小麦上,红薯上,经商盈利就没本事了;三来许多人从内心就对这种商业经济有看法;再就,精力也不行了。无论如何要起用青年人,能干的青年就在眼前,为什么不用?他要权,就给他权,订个合同,让他干! Niu Xinan was caught in a difficult boredom. He had recently been out to see some places, and deeply felt that his generation was about to fall behind. Firstly, they knew nothing without knowledge. Secondly, they were used to engaging in agriculture, and their thinking was firmly tied to the land, wheat and sweet potatoes. In terms of business, it was impossible for them to make a profit. Thirdly, many people were critical of this commercial economy from the bottom of their hearts. Next, they were old and not energetic any more. Considering this, he thought that young people should be hired. Now, there was a capable young man. Why couldn’t he be used? If he wanted power, give him power. Let’s sign a contract, and let him do it!

就这样,李自忠接手了这个破烂不堪的小厂——陈旧的机器;工人懒懒散散; 欠外债36万元,40多家债主轮番索债。李自忠不慌不忙,凭三寸不烂之舌,反复说明困难,真不行就先给人家5块钱搪塞搪塞,或者去菜园里摘几个西红柿招待一下愠怒的债主。然后,他运用权力,先把几个上班看电视、放风筝,又经常拿钢管换酒喝换烟抽的干部子女辞掉,又招聘了几位熟练的技工,重订了厂规厂法,然后开始制造砖机。 In this way, Li Zizhong took over the shabby small factory whose machine was outdated and workers were sluggish. It owed 360000 yuan, and over 40 creditors took turns to claim debts. Li Zizhong was not in a hurry. With a glib tongue, he repeatedly explained the difficulties to them. If it didn’t work well, he would first pay back 5 yuan, or pick some tomatoes for curators who were sulky. Then, using his power, he first fired several cadres’ children who were watching TV, flying kites at work. He also fired those who often exchanged steel pipes for wine and cigarettes. At the same time, he recruited several skilled technicians, revised the factory regulations and laws, and then began manufacturing brick machines.

他已经对此深思熟虑过了:农民生活正在飞速改善,建房是农民的第一大事, 砖瓦都是紧俏货,砖机自然就是畅销品。当他把工作安排就绪以后,向大队提出: “我要拿1000块钱做广告。” He had thought about this carefully. As farmers’ life was improving rapidly, the most important thing for them was to build houses. Therefore, bricks and tiles were tight goods, and brick machines were naturally best-sellers. After he arranged his work, he said to the bridge, "I want to use 1000 yuan for advertising＂.

他的这ー举动使许多人莫明其妙,花1000块钱在报纸上登那么几行字,ー张图画,这不是疯了吗?牛新安却应允了,他说:“自忠,你只管按你的计谋办,赔了大队兜着!” His behavior puzzled many people. Wasn't it crazy to spend 1000 yuan on a few lines and a picture in the newspaper? To their surprise, Niu Xinan agreed. He said, "Zizhong, just follow your plan, and the brigade will always behind you!"

广告发出去了。李自忠摇着扇子,悠悠然等待喜事降临。其实他心里并不安静,他想试用一下现代社会的新手段,他知道社会已经前进了,凭老一代那种老鹅下蛋不叫唤的办法是不行了,既然要参加到这个社会中去,便要使用一切允许使用的新武器。他干得对。不久本省来了十几封信,定购这个厂的砖机。 The advertisement was sent out. Shaking his fan, Li Zizhong leisurely waited for the auspicious events. In fact, he was not quiet in his heart. He wanted to try out the new tricks of modern society. Since the society had already advanced, it was not feasible to rely on the old method any more. If they were going to participate in this society, they must use all new weapons that were allowed to be used. He was right. Soon, over a dozen letters came from the province, ordering brick machines from their factory.

实际上,这时的厂子还没有那么充足的生产能力。这么ー来,弄得大家手忙脚乱。李自忠仍然“无忧无虑”地看报纸、听广播、喝茶、抽烟,但是,只有夜空的繁星知道,李自忠半夜里还常常冥思苦索,翻来覆去不能入睡。不几天,他想出了新招。他把一些本厂难以加工的部件委托国营大厂代做。当时这些大厂都在调整,工人没活干。他们和洛阳拖拉机厂铸造分厂、三门峡仪表机械厂、洛阳407厂订了合同,大部件镂孔、大齿轮加工都由他们包了,双方都很高兴。 In fact, the factory did not have sufficient production capacity at this time. Everyone was in a hurry. While Li Zizhong was still leisurely reading newspapers, listening to the radio, drinking tea, and smoking. Only the stars in the night sky knew that Li Zizhong was often brooding and couldn't fall asleep in the middle of the night. A few days later, he came up with a new trick. He entrusted state-owned large factories to manufacture some parts that were difficult to process in his own factory. At that time, these large factories were adjusting and their workers had no work to do. Therefore, they signed contracts with Luoyang tractor factory foundry branch, Sanmenxia instrument machinery factory, and Luoyang 407 factory, contracting the big gear processing to them. Both sides were very happy.

第一批生意就这样成交了。 The first batch of business was clinched.

小厂有了大本钱。工人的劲头也上来了。 When the small factory had gained a lot of money, its workers would also be enthusiastic.

本省的生意还没有到头,李自忠又给《安徽日报》发了信,请教能不能推销些砖机,《安徽日报》很快刊登了他们的信。贺尧大队砖机厂一下子收到80多封订货信。有些人要来厂取货,被李自忠挡了驾。李自忠明白:如果来了人,看见他们的工厂这么小,会淡了兴趣的。于是,他在滁州、芜湖、安庆、阜阳、合肥等5处设了推销点,把货送到安徽去。这样,他们1月份收入10万元,2月份收入20万元,3月份收入30万元,4月份收入40万元。有了这100万元的资金,他们扩建厂房,更新配套设备,增聘技工,自己生产所有的零部件,腰杆子壮起来了。直到9月份,他们的砖机都是脱销的,有的采购员来厂,把零部件都号上,不让别人动。 The business in this province had not been completed yet. Li Zizhong sent a letter to the Anhui Daily, asking if it could help him promote some brick machines. The Anhui Daily soon published his letter. At once, the brick machine factory of Heyao brigade received over 80 order letters. Some people came to the factory to pick up goods but were blocked by Li Zizhong. He understood that if someone came and saw their factory so small, they would lose interest. Therefore, he set up sales points in five locations, including Chuzhou, Wuhu, Anqing, Fuyang, and Hefei, to deliver the goods to Anhui. In this way, they earned 100000 yuan in January, 200000 yuan in February, 300000 yuan in March, and 400000 yuan in April. With this 1-million-yuan fund, they expanded their factory buildings, updated supporting equipment, hired more technicians, and produced all the components themselves, which made them confident and happy. Until September, their brick machines were out of stock. If some purchasers came to the factory, they would number all the parts to prevent others from stealing them.

“现代社会的特点是新东西层出不穷,但很快就被别人学会了。”李自忠已经明白这一点了。他们发广告,别人也发广告。李自忠就亲自把样机弄到展销会和推销点上去现场操作给人家看;别人也会这样做了,他们又实行包安装、包维修、定期征求用户意见的方法,深得用户好评,用户还替他们宣传。别人又学会了这ー套,他们就另换ー个地方。当许多砖机厂去安徽时,贺尧大队的推销员又去山东了。1982年在山东只花了900元广告费,就卖出去砖机200多台,收入130多万元。别处也四下里推销,他们就在降低价格、提高质量上下功夫,对手老是竞争不过他们。李自忠每天都在绞尽脑汁思索着战略战术。他明白,只要在一个环节上失败了,生意就会垮下来。＂One of the characteristic of modern society is that new things keep emerging endlessly, but they are quickly learned by others. "Li Zizhong already understood this. They advertised their products, and others followed suit. Then Li Zizhong personally took the prototype to trade fairs and sales points to operate it on the spot for others. Others also did the same thing. Therefore, they implemented the methods of package installation, package maintenance and soliciting users' opinions on a regular basis, which won favorable comments from users and users also publicized them. When others had already learnt this, they just switched places. As many brick machine factories went to Anhui, the salesmen of He Yao brigade went to Shandong again. In 1982, they only spent 900 yuan's advertising fee there, and sold more than 200 brick machines, earning more than 1.3 million yuan. While others were also promoting goods everywhere, they were working hard to reduce prices and improve quality. The opponents were always unable to compete with them. To be creative, Li Zizhong was racking his brains to think about strategy and tactics every day. He knew that if he failed in one link, the business would collapse.

“商业不等于骗人,现在做买卖,要实在。”李自忠把新的生意经背得烂熟,“用户是王,质量是命,时间是钱。” Li Zizhong memorized his new business experience by heart, ＂Business is not equal to cheating. Nowadays, to do business, we must be honest. The user our is god, quality is life, and time is money.＂

一次,辽宁来了一个跛子。他在巩义转了好几个砖机厂,最后来到贺尧大队。李自忠知道这是ー个精明的人,便对他说:“巩县的砖机有好有坏,我们的也不是十全十美。你仔细看看,不买也不要紧,提点意见也是宝贵的。” Once, a cripple came to Liaoning. He visited several brick machine factories in Gongyi and finally arrived at the He Yao brigade. Having known that he was shrewd, Li Zizhong said to him, ＂There are good and bad brick machines in Gongyi county, and ours is also not perfect. You can take a closer look. It doesn’t matter if you don’t want to buy it. If possible, please provide us some valuable advice.＂

那人反复看了,还是不买。李自忠留他吃饭,他不吃。走时,李自忠见他走路不方便,就派车把他送到火车站,帮他买了车票。跛子临上车前忽然退了票,拿出ー张ー万一千多元的支票,毅然买了280型砖机和搅拌机各一台。 The person looked at it repeatedly, but still didn't buy it. Li Zizhong kept him for dinner, but he refused. When the cripple was about to leave, Li Zizhong saw that it was not convenient for him to walk, so he sent a car to take him to the train station and helped him buy a ticket. To everyone’s surprise, the cripple suddenly refunded the ticket before getting on the train. He took out a check worth over 110000 yuan, and resolutely bought one 280 brick machine and one mixer.

送走跛子,李自忠说:“现在的生意,要开诚布公,哄哥哥骗姐姐,那是小家子气。急功近利,见了人就想掏人家的钱包,常常办不成事。同时也要注意看人,像这样精明的人只有以诚相待,他才信人信机器。”李自忠没有说他是怎样研究人的心理的,他知道,现代的企业家不能像某些老农那样——总想以狡黠取胜反而常常因浅薄吃亏。 After he saw off the cripple, he said, ＂Nowadays, we should be open and honest when doing business. It’s petty to cheat others. If we are eager for quick success and instant benefits when we meet others, we often cannot achieve anything. At the same time, attention should be given to people. Only by being honest with such a shrewd person can he trust us and our machines＂Li Zizhong did not say how he studied human psychology. He knew that modern entrepreneurs couldn’t be like some old farmers, who always wanted to win with cunning but often suffered losses due to shallowness.

1982年,这个大队小厂总产值达420万元,刚接手的那一年这个厂的产值12万元,3年增长35倍。 In 1982, the total output value of the small factory of this brigade reached 4.2 million yuan, and the output value of this factory was 120,000 yuan in the year when it just took over, which increased 35 times in three years.

探索就是一种冒险,但冒险比平庸伟大一万倍。

人们离开了土地,走向工业,并且迅速学会了工业管理 Exploration Is an Adventure, but Adventure Is Ten Thousand Times Greater than Mediocrity. People left the land to industry, and quickly learned industrial management.

丰田小汽车在乡间那满是尘土的小道上飞驰,扬起一股尘烟。 As the Toyota car sped along the dusty country road, it raised a cloud of dust.

常建国,禹县方山铝矾土矿矿长,参加代表团,踏上了去联邦德国参观访问、洽谈生意的旅途。 Chang Jianguo, the mine manager of Fangshan bauxite mine in Yu County, joined a delegation and embarked on a journey to visit and negotiate business in the Federal Republic of Germany.

他望着车窗外的原野,心潮起伏不平。 Looking the fields outside the car window, his heart was surging unevenly.

一切都是从这里出发的。生命从这里出发,上学从这里出发,挖野菜从这里出发,下坡种庄稼从这里出发,这里是根。10年前当他意识到单靠这荒山薄地无法过好日子时,便毅然决然地带着17个人,来到这人烟稀少的秃岭上。没有树,谈不上木材;没有土,想种ー棵草都不可能;只有石头,而且是既不能砌房又不能烧石灰的乱石片。但是,常建国坚信大自然赏赐给他们的山野必定是能够挖掘出有用的东西的。他去巩义看过,那里的铝矾土就很像这里的土石。他和他的伙伴们挖啊, 掏啊,无论是夹着雪花的北风还是掺着霰粒的细雨,也无论是烈日酷暑还是深秋严霜,都没能使他们退却。他们为了甩掉贫穷这个魔鬼,像疯魔ー样奋斗着。终于, 他们找到了希望找到的东西,盘了一个窑,烧出第一窑铝矾土。但是,能不能卖出去还是问题呢!他忽然想到这真有点冒险,如果找不到销路,或者这货根本就不合格,18个人的辛劳不就付诸东流了吗? Everything started from here. It was from here that life, school, digging wild vegetables, planting crops on the downhill started. This was the root. Ten years ago, when he realized that he wasn’t able to live a good life merely on this barren land, he resolutely brought 17 people to this sparsely populated bald mountain. There were no trees, let alone wood. Without soil, it was impossible to plant grass. There were only stones, which were debris that couldn’t be used for building houses or burning lime. However, Chang Jianguo firmly believed that the mountains bestowed upon them by nature must be able to dig out useful things. He had been to Gongyi, where the bauxite was very similar to the soil and stones here. Therefore, they never retreated whether it was in the north wind with snow, in the drizzle with graupel, in the scorching sun or in the frost of late autumn. They were fighting crazily to get rid of the devil of poverty. Finally, they found what they were looking for, and made a kiln to burn the first batch of bauxite. However, whether it could be sold was still a problem! He suddenly realized that this was really a bit risky. If he couldn't find a market or if this product was simply not suitable, the hard work of 18 people would be wasted.

车过三岔路口,前面就是方山。常建国拉开窗玻璃,把头探出窗外。他贪婪地看着这座家乡的山。方山,名不虚传,它不同于任何一座别处的山,没有连绵嵯峨的雄姿,没有幽秀的回峰迭峦,没有黄山那样的松和云,也没有峨眉那样的泉和寺, 它只是突兀在这原野上的一座孤立的山,没有圆滑的舒缓的线条,四条棱支在大地上,像一座削去了顶部的金字塔。这是多么具有个性的山啊!那时,他就想:人也是这样,要具有自己的名字,要走出自己的路,就要有独自的特点。他决心给第一窑货找到顾主。 As the car passed a fork in the road, Fangshan mountains could be seen. Chang Jianguo pulled open the window and stuck his head out. He greedily looked at the mountains of his hometown. Fangshan mountain was really worthy of its reputation. Unlike any other mountain, it had no magnificent appearance, no secluded and picturesque peaks, no pine and cloud like Mount Huang, no spring and temple like Mount Emei. It was just an isolated mountain standing out on this field. Without smooth or soothing lines, his four edges stood on the ground, like a pyramid with the top cut off. What a unique mountain! At that time, he thought that people were the same, they must have their own names, walk their own paths, and have their own characteristics. He was determined to find a buyer for the first kiln goods.

时间多么紧促,贫困的乡亲们多么希望有钱花。他必须尽快地使这些货得到鉴定。原先,他只想到国内市场,而国内的钢铁生产发展不快,接着又调整,耐火材料滞销；国外的钢铁业也不景气。但在这暂时的不景气之后肯定还有一个复苏,一些商人不正在为几年后的发展囤积着铝矾土吗?常建国忽然由此萌生出ー个大胆的念头:到海关去鉴定,争取出口。 How tight time was! How poor villagers wished they had money to spend! He must get these goods appraised as soon as possible. At first, he only thought about the domestic market, but the development of domestic steel production was slow. The adjustments were made, and refractory materials were unsalable. The foreign steel industry was also sluggish. After this temporary downturn, there would definitely be a recovery. Were some businessmen not hoarding bauxite for development in a few years? A bold idea suddenly came to Chang Jianguo-let’s go to the customs for appraisal and strive for export.

到现在,常建国也不知道为什么忽然那样异想天开。贫穷中产生的欲望,奋斗中萌发的胆量,把ー个农民的心一下子扩展到了整个世界。这个世界如此丰富多彩,而我们只要有其中的一点点就够了。过去竟然没有想到这个世界,就像祖祖辈辈没有想到方山上的铝矾土ー样!反过来说,世界上有这么多人,每一点财富都被许多眼睛注视着,谁先抢到手,谁就是英雄,这里没有施舍,任何守株待兔式的梦想都不应当存在。 Until now, Chang Jianguo still didn't know why he suddenly had such a wild idea. The desire born out of poverty and the courage from struggle instantly expanded a farmer's heart to the whole world. This world was so rich and colorful, and we only needed a little bit of it. In the past, we never thought of this world, just like generations had never thought of the bauxite on Fangshan mountains! On the other hand, with so many people in the world, every bit of wealth was watched by many eyes. Whoever got it first was the hero. There was no charity here, and no waiting dream should exist.

于是,也是从这里出发,常建国背上了一袋烧制的料样,匆匆向青岛海关而去。到那里,通过化验鉴定,质量很好,外贸部门答应优先给他们接洽生意,销路是不用发愁的。常建国一下子高兴得浑身轻了20斤!这时,他オ注意到那美丽的大海。多么辽阔的海啊!烟波浩渺,一望无际,水天一色。隅居山乡的人虽然曾经为陆地的旷远深沉而自豪过,但是当看见大海的时候,就不得不惊叹海的伟大气魄和幽深的底蕴了。当风浪在他脚下拍打时,他产生了这样ー个念头:这海的那一边,还有更大的世界,要敢于冒险,跨过海去! It was also from here that Chang Jianguo carried a bag of burned material samples and hurried to Qingdao Customs. The laboratory tests there proved that its quality was very good, so the foreign trade department promised to prioritize business with them. There was no need to worry about sales. All of a sudden, Chang Jianguo felt happy and relaxed as if he had unloaded a burden of 20 pounds. Only at this time did he notice that beautiful sea. What a vast sea! There was a wide expanse of misty, boundless waves, and water and sky of the same color. Though those who were living in remote mountainous areas had once been proud of the vastness and depth of the land, they couldn’t help but marvel at its great spirit and profound heritage when they saw the sea. As the waves were beating under his feet, he thought that there was a bigger world on the other side of the sea. He should take risks and cross the sea!

就这样,18个人的矿,只有2000元资金,却和世界的很远的地方联系在ー起了。十分艰难,十分艰难啊！不仅是物质生活,思想也总是不得宁静。为了违心地批判自己的“重商轻农”思想,他必须每年向上级写一大摞检讨书,农忙时,他不得不“解散”工人去参加麦收,但夜晚,他们还是去守候自己的窑火。疲倦啊,ー躺下就浑身酸疼,一点也不想爬起来,但是,还要干,还要拼命。人们都在注视着这个比卖鸡蛋换钱更多的地方。 In this way, a mine with 18 people and 2000 yuan had been connected to distant parts of the world. How difficult and hard it was! He was always restless in material life and thought. In order to criticize his ideology of "valuing commerce over agriculture" against his will, he must write a large pile of review letters to his superiors every year. During the busy farming season, he had to 'dismiss' workers to participate in the wheat harvest. While at night, they still went to tend their own kiln fires. How tiring it was! When they lay down on their beds, their bodies were aching. Though they were unwilling to get up, they still had to get up and work hard. People were looking at this place where they could earn more money than selling eggs.

从山乡走到海边,又从海边飞向天空,整整用了10年。这离开土地的10年啊！从18个人发展到1800人,从2000资金发展到2000万元资产,人增加了 100 倍,资产增加了1万倍。为国家挣得1700万美元外汇。这当然有点像奇迹。但这奇迹是用胆量、用汗水、用坚韧不拔的精神换来的。常建国说不出有多么感谢他的伙伴、他的工友和支持他的父老乡亲。只要这些人说好,就齐了,因为这是目的。至于别人表扬与否,那无关紧要,那是和另外一些别的利益纠缠在ー起的事情。因此,当养鸡户进省城当劳模而无人敢表扬方山铝矾土矿时,常建国仍然和他的伙伴们在那深山沟里默默地开掘着自己的希望、热情和幸福。 It took 10 years to walk from the mountain to the sea and fly from the sea to the sky. They had been away from the land for 10 years! During this period, the number of people had increased from 18 to 1800, which increased by 100 times. At the same time, the capital had increased from 20 million to 20 million yuan, increased by 10000 times. Totally, they earned $17million in foreign exchange for the country, which was certainly like a miracle. And this miracle was achieved through courage, sweat, and unwavering spirit. Chang Jianguo couldn’t express how grateful he was to his partners, colleagues, and the supportive fellow villagers. As long as these people agreed, that was ok. Others’ opinion was irrelevant because that was something intertwined with other interests. Therefore, when the chicken farmer became a model worker in the provincial capital and no one dared to praise Fangshan Bauxite Mine, Chang Jianguo and his partners were still silently digging their own hopes, enthusiasm, and happiness in the deep mountain valley.

飞机起飞了,从舷窗俯视大地,大地上的一切都是那么井井有条,山岭、河谷、 树林、荒漠、城市、乡村……当就要离开国界时,他的心一下子又缠绕到矿上去了。他想过:这个矿为什么能发展起来?第一条,或者说唯一的一条是他有自由。他不需要向这个请示,向那个汇报;工人就是上司,事业就是上司,ー个在身边,ー个在心中。这多么方便！生活在这个螃蟹篓子ー样的世界里,牵ー发动全身,或投鼠忌器,或忧谗畏讥,搬动ー张椅子似乎都会乱了天下,这是多么坚固又多么脆弱的网啊!幸亏,他不在这个网里。“占山为王”,独立自主,不仅没有那么多限制,反而有那么多自主权:全矿只有5个支部委员,其他几个全都在几个分厂里做工,别无什么科室处所,他决定了的,就能变为行动。当他决定要建一个建筑材料厂制造瓷面砖时,ー个76米长的隧道窑,只用了 42天就完工了,而这在国营企业里,至少也要8个月!他可以决定招聘技术人员;他可以视劳动和工作情况决定批评、处罚或开除工人;他可以制定财物上的各种规章,从而把每ー个人牢牢拴在企业上。这叫作一荣俱荣、ー损俱损。推销员不是经常吃喝吗,那就从推销总数中提出一定比例的奖金。销多了得钱多,销少了自己不得。差旅费、招待费等,全在里面了。全厂每ー个人的工资都是浮动的,矿上盈余多,都发财;亏了,都吃亏。这样,监督也就无形中形成,质量也保证了……

As the plane took off, Chang Jianguo looked down at the land from the porthole. Everything on the earth was so orderly. Mountains, valleys, forests, deserts, cities, villages... When he was about to cross the border, his heart suddenly entangled with the mine again. He had thought about the following. Why could this mine develop? The first or only reason was that he had freedom. There was no need for to make a report or ask for instructions. The worker and career were superiors. One was by his side, and the other was in his heart. How convenient it was! Living in this world like a crab basket, what happened to a small part might affect the whole. Some feared the repercussions of certain actions. Some were afraid of ridicule. It seemed that even moving a chair would disrupt the whole world. What a strong and fragile net! Fortunately, he was not in this net. Being independent and autonomous, they had so much autonomy instead of many restrictions-There were only five branch committee members in the entire mine, and the others all worked in several branch factories. With no other departments, what he decided could be transformed into action. When he decided to build a building material factory to manufacture porcelain tiles, a 76-meter-long tunnel kiln was completed in only 42 days. However, it would take at least 8 months in a state-owned enterprise! He could recruit technical personnel, and criticize, punish or dismiss workers based on their labor and work conditions. He could also formulate various financial regulations, thereby firmly tying everyone to the enterprise. People were bound together for good or ill. Considering that salespeople often ate and drank at public expense, he took a certain percentage of the bonus from their total sales. By doing so, the more they sold, the more they earned. The expense of travel, entertainment, etc. was all included. In the factory, the wages of everyone were floating. When the mine made lots of profits, everyone made a fortune. When it suffered losses, everyone would also suffer losses. In this way, supervision was virtually formed, and quality was guaranteed...

飞机在蔚蓝的天空航行,实际上空气本身是无色透明的。常建国不知道别人怎么看他,但自知自己是有一颗善良的心的。当开除那十几个工人时,他的心曾经那么不平静。他希望每ー个人都能和睦相处,能像天国里那样人人相爱相亲。但这不是天国啊,所以还是要用人间的办法。你们不好好干,偷懒、捣蛋、盗窃财物, 损害了我的事业,违反了纪律和制度,那只好抱歉了。常建国曾经怀疑过这是不是有些专制,他认真思考过民主与自由,他不能容忍那种不负责任的行为,那不是民主,那必然导致涣散与腐化,必然导致无休止的争吵、拖延和难以估计的损失。他能够以这种方式取得一点成绩,完全因为自己是农民。这个最低的身份恰恰成为ー种奢侈,ー种特权。常建国坐在飞机上,看着自己和别人差不多的装束,他真想大声宣告:“我是农民,这是多么珍贵的称号!正因为我一切都没有,所以才有了一切!” The plane was flying in the blue sky. As a matter of fact, the air itself was colorless and transparent. Chang Jianguo didn’t know what others thought of him, but he believed that he was kind. When he fired those workers, he felt uneasy. He really hoped that everyone could live in harmony, and love each other as they did in heaven. However, this was not heaven, and the earthly way must be used. Those he dismissed were either sluggish or lazy, either making trouble or stealing, which damaged my career or violated discipline and rules. Chang Jianguo once doubted whether this was somewhat authoritarian. He had carefully considered democracy and freedom, and he could not tolerate irresponsible behavior, which was not democracy. It would inevitably lead to slackness and corruption, endless disputes, delays, and incalculable losses. In this way, he was able to achieve some success entirely because he was a farmer. This lowest status had precisely become a luxury and a privilege. When Chang Jianguo sat on the plane, looking at his attire that was similar to others, he really wanted to declare loudly: ＂I am a farmer, what a precious title! It is precise because I have nothing that I have everything!'＂

第一站是汉堡,第二站是法兰克福……他到处参观,每到ー地都洽谈一到几笔生意。察言观色,揣摩心理,研究行情,谨慎地制订价格,宴会,灯红酒绿,汽车在奔驰,笑脸,支票……常建国开始时有点眼花缭乱,但不久就安静了。他赞赏人家的工作效率和求实精神。ー种无形的力量在冲击他那在狭小天地里形成的容量有限的心房,他承认看到自己的缺点和弱点了,单凭宣传所得到的东西是多么片面,人家有人家的长处。他大大方方地向人家学习、求教。 The first stop was Hamburg, and the second stop was Frankfurt...Everywhere he went, he could negotiate one or several deals. Observing words and expressions, speculating psychology, researching market trends, carefully setting prices, banquets, red lights, running cars, smiling faces, checks… At the very beginning, Chang Jianguo was a bit dizzy. He soon got used to it. He appreciated others' work efficiency and pragmatic spirit. An invisible force was pounding at his limited capacity heart formed in a narrow world. He admitted seeing his own shortcomings and weaknesses, and that what he had obtained by relying solely on propaganda was so one-sided. People had their strengths. Therefore, he learned and sought advice from them in a grand manner.

只是当他重新飞回这块大陆,又重新踏上这片原野时,他的心才又慌乱起来。天上的云和地上的尘都曾经留下过的阴影又飘过来了。在听到中央一号文件后, 他曾热烈地庆幸自己的运气,但是,这也毕竟是运气。许多的必然还在使他惴惴不安。他,他这ー类人,还只能被动地等待什么,而不能主导什么,无论是福还是祸。他能够将企业办得更大,挣更多的外汇,但怕别人眼红。许多人不承认经营是劳动,这使他想起喝酒来。为了企业,他必须喝酒,应付官员的“检查指导”,拉生意, 结交同行……都必须喝酒,有时一天要好几场,简直是灾难啊!他嗜酒吗?不,他最想吃的是ー碗米饭、ー碟青菜或ー小碗汤,不寒碜也不奢侈,吃下去舒舒服服,多好!可是这酒,不喝能成事吗?坏了胃,哑了嗓子,豁上身体去抵挡八面来风!得, 归于集体;失,留于一己。便纵有千种风情,更与何人说?再者,这样的企业,原料供应全不在计划,钢铁、水泥、仪表、试剂,哪ー样不求人能到手?逼着人走后门。积年旧账多了,到头来千人吃肉一人付钱,谁受得了?我得巴结所有的人,要害人物打个喷嚏都吓得我三天睡不着觉。志气如此远大,收入如此可观,但政治上又如此脆弱!怕变,怕统,怕眼红,怕记者,只是不怕自身的得与失,常建国觉得这样东奔西簸,实际上也是在对自己的生命作战。他流泪了。 It was only when he flew back to this continent and stepped onto this field again that his heart began to panic. The shadows left by the clouds in the sky and the dust on the ground had drifted back. After hearing the No.1 document of the Central Committee, he warmly congratulated himself on his luck, but it was luck after all. Many things were bound to make him nervous. He was the kind of person who could only wait passively, and couldn’t dominate anything when it came to something good or bad. He could have made the enterprise bigger and earned more foreign exchange, but he was afraid of others being jealous. Many people didn’t recognize that management was labor, which made him resort to alcohol. For the sake of the enterprise, he must drink alcohol to handle the "inspection and guidance" of officials, promote business, and make friends with peers…It was necessary to drink alcohol. Sometimes, he drank several times a day, which was just a disaster! Was he addicted to alcohol? No. What he most wanted was a bowl of rice, a plate of vegetables, or a small bowl of soup, which was not too shabby or extravagant, but comfortable to eat. How great! However, could things be accomplished without drinking alcohol? My stomach was bad, my throat was hoarse, and I used my body to resist all the winds! When there were benefits, it belonged to the collective. When there was negligence, it was me who was to blame. Who could I talk with? Furthermore, the enterprise had no planned supply of raw materials. Therefore, things, such as steel, cement, instruments, reagents, could only be obtained with others’ help. It forced people to get in by the back door. With so many old debts accumulated over the years, one had to pay for the meat that a thousand people had eaten. Who could bear it? I had to flatter everyone, and even a sneeze from a key person scared me so much that I couldn't sleep for three days. With such lofty aspirations and considerable income, I was so politically fragile! I was afraid of changes, unity, envy and journalists, but not afraid of my own gains and losses. Chang Jianguo felt that this kind of wandering was actually a battle for his own life. He cried.

他多么想模糊掉那些人为的界限!部办的,省办的,县办的,大队办的,除了钞票是平等的,其他都等级森严。脱产的,半脱产的,亦工亦农的,以工代干的,ハ级工资,二十五级职务。打破他,过ー关选一将,谁能干好谁就是好汉,怎么样?为此,他专门聘请了一些国家正式技术人员,他希望把这些门槛踢断,这样简单些。 How eagerly he longed to blur those artificial boundaries! Except for banknotes that were equal, all levels were strictly hierarchical, including those run by departments, provinces, counties, and brigades; those who were out-of-work, semi out-of-work; those who were engage in both industry and agriculture; those who allowed workers to act as cadres…Eighth level salary, level 25 position…Let’s break it, and choose suitable one to do suitable things. For this, he specifically hired some national formal technical personnel, hoping to break these barriers and make it simpler.

他多么想聘请几位理论家,为他,为他们的以及全国的企业辩护:到底什么是正道,什么是邪道?怎样不走后门而把事情办好?怎样才算劳动?怎样评价人的名利与功过… He would like to hire a few theorists to defend him, their business and the business of the country-what was exactly the right way and wrong way? How to get things done without getting in by the back door? What was labor? How to evaluate people's fame and wealth and merits and demerits?…

他多么想有一部法律,将那些成功的东西肯定下来,将那些不该伸的手拉住, 把那些必须办的事办好…… How eagerly he wanted to have a law that affirmed those successful things, held onto those hands that should not be stretched out, and managed those things that must be done well…

他下了飞机,下了火车,又坐着丰田小车回到方山,回到矿上来了。当他又站在出发的地方时,无边的山原使他激动不已。他望着山岭上那高大的烟囱,望着那一片厂房和宛若市镇的矿区,听着那里传出的交响乐ー样雄壮而又美妙的各种声音,心想:我们终于从茧壳里拱出来了。 He got off the plane and train, and returned to Fangshan in a Toyota car and back to the mine. When he stood at the starting point again, the boundless mountains and plains excited him. As he looked at the tall chimney on the mountain, the factory buildings, and the mining area that looked like a town, and listened to the various sounds of symphony-like magnificence and beauty coming from there, he thought, ＂We finally broke out of the cocoon. ＂

是的,农民从土地上走出来,走进这涌动的潮流中来了。觉醒比起床要难得多,因为我们的梦太古老太醉人了。这是一片多么沉重的土地啊！安阳殷墟,龙门石窟,首阳山,三吏三别,古战场的千年的征尘……几乎每ー个地名都象征着如海的血汗,锈蚀的兵器和风化了的尸体。我们的民族是从这样的原野上出发的。我们在这原野上行走了几千年,缓慢的几千年啊！然而,贫困和愚昧仍然如毒蛇ー样纠缠着我们。虽然各家各户都点过无数的香烛,希望在缭绕的烟氲中得到富足的生活,但这都不过是梦。大地仍然死ー样的宁静。乡村里有什么?破败的草寮,沉重的辘辘,还有那没有色彩的路。在那有着深深辙印和牛蹄坑的路上,ー头瘦骨嶙峋的老牛拉着ー辆破旧的车,年复一年地行走着,步履缓慢地走着。ー头牛倒下了,又有一头牛默默地把头伸进辗下,一代接一代,行走着,叹息着,似乎只要我们甘愿这样永远走下去,谁也不会来欺负我们。 Yes, farmers had walked out of the land and entered into this surging tide. Awakening was much harder than getting up, because our dreams were too ancient and intoxicating. What a heavy land this was! Anyang Yin Ruins, Longmen Grottoes（in Luoyang）, Shouyang Mountain, "Sanli" and "Sanbie", and the millennium of dust on ancient battlefields... Almost every place name symbolized a sea of blood and sweat, rusty weapons and weathered corpses. Our nation started from such a field. We had been walking in this field for thousands of years, slowly for thousands of years! However, poverty and ignorance still entangled us like poisonous snakes. Although every household had lit countless candles, hoping to achieve a prosperous life in the lingering smoke, it was all just a dream. The earth was still dead quiet. What was in the countryside? Dilapidated grass huts, heavy carts, and colorless roads. On the road with deep ruts and cow hoof pits, a skinny and bony old cow pulled a dilapidated cart, walking slowly year after year. When the bull fell down, another cow would silently take over its task, which would last for generations. While the bulls were walking, they were also sighing. It seemed that no one would bully us as long as we were willing to go on like this forever.

可是,这个世界是不平衡的。300多年前,当李闯王推翻了明王朝以后,我们看见的又是ー个清王朝。政治的金字塔尖上坐着帝王,帝王在陈腐得发臭的宫殿做着闭关锁国唯我独尊的美梦。然而,就在这个年代,英国人的工业革命却建立了ー个新型的社会,从那以后,财富如同发酵的面团似的膨胀着,商品如潮水ー样涌向世界。不久,他们作为殖民者,用洋枪洋炮轰开了大清国的大门,他们从地球的那ー边闯到地球的这ー边来了。即使有800个林则徐,也挡不住“鬼子”的煤油灯和织布机。 However, this world was unbalanced. Over 300 years ago, when Li Zicheng overthrew the Ming Dynasty, we saw the rise of the Qing Dynasty. At the top of the political pyramid sat the emperor, who dreamed of isolationism and self-importance in a stale and smelly palace. However, at the same time, the Industrial Revolution of the British people established a new type of society. Since then, wealth had expanded like a fermenting dough, and goods had flooded into the world like a tide. Soon, as colonists, they opened the door of the Qing Dynasty with foreign guns, rushing from one edge of the earth to another edge of the earth. Even if there were 800 Lin Zexu, they could not stop the "foreigners’" kerosene lamps and looms.

少数人觉醒了,便革命;但大多数仍在土地上那枯黄的荒草里沉睡,瘦弱的先觉者被千万条沉重的绳索拴住了脚,オ走半步就跌倒了。我们终于又关起门来,任凭大洋的潮头怎样拍打我们的门板,我们仍然在疲劳和饥饿之中诵读着这样的经文:“耕读为上,商贾次之,工技又次之”“务农桑,五十本葱,ー畦韭,家二母彘,五鸡”“栋宇、器械、脂烛,莫非种植之物,闭门而为生之具以足,但恨家中无盐井尔!” 当10亿人都在照这本经书去行动时,草地毁了,山林被砍掉,没有鱼也没有肉,尽管每ー个空货架上都挂了语录,但语录仍不能解决吃饭问题。几年前,我们终于又一次觉醒了。一旦开始尊重规律,也便有了路。 A few people awakened and revolutionized, but most still slept in the dry yellow weeds on the land. Some thin and weak pioneers were tied up by millions of heavy ropes, causing them to fall down after taking half a step. Finally, we closed the door again. As the tide of the ocean was slapping our door, we were still reading such scriptures in fatigue and hunger: " Farming and reading are the top priority, followed by merchants and industrial skills "" Making farming and sericulture, 50 onions, 50 acres of leeks, two sows, five chickens"" House, equipment, candles are all planted things. Even if you plant these things behind closed doors, you can still be self-sufficient, but there is no salt well in house!" When a billion people acted according to this book, the grass was destroyed, the mountains were cut down. There would be no fish or meat. Although there were quotations hanging on every empty shelf, the quotations still couldn’t deal with the issue of eating. A few years ago, we finally awakened again. Once we started respecting the rules, there was a way.

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